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ESSENTIALS OF LIFE-SPAN DEVELOPMENT, 5e
JOHN W. SANTROCK

SOCIOEMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT IN EARLY ADULTHOOD

Chapter Outline

Stability and change from childhood to adulthood
Love and close relationships
Adult lifestyles
Challenges in marriage, parenting, and divorce
Gender, communication, and relationships

Stability and Change From Childhood to Adulthood

Experiences in the early adult years important in determining what the individual is like later in adulthood
Unfolding of social relationships and emotions
Attachment plays an important part in socioemotional development
Romantic partners as a secure base to obtain comfort and security

Stability and Change From Childhood to Adulthood

Adult attachment
Secure attachment style: Positive view of relationships, easy to get close to others, not overly concerned/stressed about relationships
Avoidant attachment style: Hesitant about getting involved in romantic relationships, tend to distance themselves from partner
Anxious attachment style: Demand closeness, less trusting, more emotional, jealous, and possessive
Majority of adults have secure attachment style
Prefer to have a securely attached partner

Love and Close Relationships

Intimacy
Self-disclosure and sharing of private thoughts
Intimacy, identity, and independence demands are central to adulthood
Erikson’s stage of Intimacy versus Isolation
Intimacy is finding oneself while losing oneself in another person
Failure to achieve intimacy results in social isolation
Friendship
Adulthood brings opportunities to form new friendships
Gender differences in adult friendships

Love and Close Relationships

Romantic and affectionate love
Romantic love: Passionate love, or eros
Strong components of sexuality and infatuation
Often predominates in early part of love relationships
Affectionate love: Companionate love
Desires to have the other person near, based on deep, caring affection
Consummate love: Strongest form of love
Involves dimensions of passion, intimacy, and commitment

Figure 12.1 – Sternberg’s Triangle of Love

Adult Lifestyles

Single adults
Dramatic rise in the percentage of single adults
Cohabitation and postponing marriage
Common problems
Forming intimate relationships with other adults
Confronting loneliness
Finding a place in a society that is marriage-oriented

Adult Lifestyles

Advantages
Time to make decisions about one’s life course
Time to develop personal resources to meet goals
Freedom to make autonomous decisions
Pursue one’s own schedule and interests
Opportunities to explore new places and new experiences
Privacy

Adult Lifestyles

Cohabitation
Living together in a sexual relationship without being married
Seen as a precursor to marriage, ongoing lifestyle
Common problems:
Disapproval and emotional strain
Difficulty owning property jointly
Uncertain legal rights upon dissolution of relationship
How does prior cohabitation affect marriage?
Lower marital satisfaction and higher rates of divorce

Figure 12.2 – Increase in Cohabitation in the United States

Adult Lifestyles

Married adults
Changing views
Personal fulfillment goals – inside and outside of marriage
Changing norms of male-female equality
Increasingly high expectations for marriage
Marital trends
Declining marriage rates in the U.S. in recent years
Highest ages for first marriages in U.S. history
In 2010, 28.7 years for men and 26.5 years for women
More marriage partners meeting online
Marriages in adolescence more likely to end in divorce
Average duration of marriage is just over 9 years

Adult Lifestyles

Marital trends
Declining marriage rates in the U.S. in recent years
Highest ages for first marriages in U.S. history
In 2010, 28.7 years for men and 26.5 years for women
More marriage partners meeting online
Marriages in adolescence more likely to end in divorce
Average duration of marriage is just over 9 years

Adult Lifestyles

Benefits of a good marriage
Happily married people live longer, healthier lives
Enhanced longevity of men more so than women
Feel less physical and emotional stress
Fewer physical ailments and psychological problems

Figure 12.3 – Percentage of Married Persons Age 18 and Older with “Very Happy” Marriages

Adult Lifestyles

Divorced adults
U.S. has one of the highest divorce rates in the world
Declining numbers in recent decades
Factors leading to divorce:
Youthful marriage
Low educational level
Low income level
No religious affiliation
Having divorced parents
Having a baby before marriage

Adult Lifestyles

Partner characteristics leading to divorce:
Alcoholism
Psychological problems
Domestic violence
Infidelity
Inadequate division of household labor
Divorce typically takes place in early in marriage
Between years 5-10 of marriage

Figure 12.4 - The Divorce Rate in Relation to Number of Years Married

Adult Lifestyles

Remarried adults
Approximately 50% remarry within 3 years of divorce
Men remarry sooner than women
Remarriage occurs sooner for partners who initiate a divorce
Recent decline in remarriage rate in U.S.

Adult Lifestyles

Gay and lesbian adults
Increasing number of legalized same-sex marriages
Similar to heterosexual relationships in love, joy, satisfactions, and conflicts
Increasing number are creating families including children
Misconceptions:
Masculine/feminine roles are relatively uncommon
Preferences for long-term, committed relationships
Special concerns for stigma, prejudice, and discrimination
Transgender

Challenges in Marriage, Parenting, and Divorce

Making marriage work
7 principles of a working marriage, including:
Establishing love maps
Nurturing fondness and admiration
Turning toward each other instead of away
Letting your partner influence you
Creating shared meaning

Challenges in Marriage, Parenting, and Divorce

Becoming a parent
Mixed emotions and romantic illusions about having a child
Parenting requires interpersonal skills, emotional demands
Little formal education for these tasks
Age of having children has been increasing
In 2012, average age for women was 26
U.S. women having fewer children overall

Challenges in Marriage, Parenting, and Divorce

Advantages of having children early (in 20s):
More physical energy
Fewer medical problems with pregnancy and childbirth
Less built-up expectations for children
Advantages of having children later (in 30s):
More time to consider and achieve life goals
More mature, competent parents
Better established in careers, more income for child-rearing expenses

Challenges in Marriage, Parenting, and Divorce

Strategies for divorced adults
Thinking of divorce as a chance to grow personally, develop more positive relationships
Making decisions carefully
Focusing more on the future than the past
Using strengths and resources to cope with difficulties
Not expecting to be successful and happy in everything you do

Gender, Communication, and Relationships

Rapport talk: Language of conversation
Way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships
Report talk: Designed to give information
Includes public speaking
Men and women have different preferences for communication
Women prefer rapport talk, men prefer report talk