problem essay

Dr. Ferreira

English 105 NF

12 November 2105

My Perfect Mate

Almost everyone dreams of finding the right person to fall in love with, get married, and start a family. However, today, with the divorce rate being an average of 54%, it seems as if we are doing something wrong in this area. Perhaps we are rushing into relationships, afraid of being alone, and “settling” for whomever shows interest. Other people marry with good intentions, but as time goes on, the challenges of children, finances, and even unfaithfulness may bring impediments to the union, and instead of remaining in an unhappy situation, many decide to separate or divorce. I also made mistakes in the past and chose the wrong guys. Now that I am more experienced and wiser, I know exactly what I desire in a partner, and I will not settle for anyone who does not meet these requirements. Luckily, I have already found such a person, one who is a good listener and very romantic. Comment by knhoulihan: Strong beginning with general information Comment by knhoulihan: Too quick a “jump.” Writer needs to add more transition before addressing herself. Comment by knhoulihan: slang Comment by knhoulihan: thesis is good

I am very fortunate that my husband Sean is willing to listen when I have problems in a non-judgmental way. Sean always listens to me like the time I had an argument with my brother. He took my side and understood how I felt, but he also told me I should think about my brother’s feelings and try to work things out. Another example is when I had a bad day at work and was in a bad mood at home. I actually snapped at him when he asked me what I wanted for dinner. Instead of Sean yelling back, which would result in an argument, he put his arm on my shoulder and asked me if I was OK. His soothing voice made me feel better. Also, Sean is a good listener with other people. My friends always call him for advice because they know he is going to be logical and always keep their interests in mind. I am lucky to have someone who is so caring and willing to hear me out. It always seems to make matters better and allows me to find solutions to problems. Comment by knhoulihan: clear topic sentence, referring to one quality mentioned in thesis Comment by knhoulihan: repetitous Comment by knhoulihan: good example, but not enough detail. Comment by knhoulihan: This is listing. Writer is providing a number of examples, instead of one or two specific and concrete scnenarios. Comment by knhoulihan: Example 3 listed

It may sound like a cliché, but I insist on a partner who is romantic because I believe this shows how much I am appreciated. Some people may think this just involves over-priced flowers on Valentine’s Day, but it’s actually much more. The romantic gestures must be creative and sincere. Once again, my husband lives up to my expectations in this area, as well. Once I was in Seattle for a conference, and he gave me a surprise visit. We went out to eat and to a museum, so the rest of the weekend after the conference was not wasted. Another time I was home sick with the flu, and he came home from work only, making me home made chicken soup. It wasn’t the most delicious one I have eaten, but I thought it was sweet. Also, I really appreciate that Sean spends so much money on Valentine’s Day and birthdays. He always gets me flowers, which I know are so expensive on Valentine’s Day. For my birthday last year, he bought me the tennis bracelet I have been looking at for months. I never expected it because he had told me that our expenses were very high, so we had to cut back. That was just a way of his fooling me so I would be very surprised. Comment by knhoulihan: Good topic sentence Comment by knhoulihan: Good opening comments Comment by knhoulihan: The start of a good example, but too quick. Comment by knhoulihan: Example 2 Comment by knhoulihan: Example 3 Comment by knhoulihan: Example four Comment by knhoulihan: Select one example and explain in detail

I am grateful that I have found a life mate in my husband. No one is perfect, but Sean is enough for me. He takes care of me and listens to me. He is also nice to my friends and family, always respectful. Also, Sean is very romantic with his gifts and his words. I wish everyone would be as lucky as me to have this kind of marriage. I would not change him for the world. The next time he leaves the toilet seat up and I want to yell, I will try to keep his good qualities in mind. Comment by knhoulihan: Good reworded thesis Comment by knhoulihan: Sentence combining: avoid short, choppy sentences. Comment by knhoulihan: Good start, but thesis must be a bit longer, summarizing the main points addressed in the body.