Paper on STUDENT COUNSELOR

How a Knowledge of Family and Society Can Help

One Function Effectively as a Pastoral Counselor [Replace with your career or vocation]

by

Joel Stephen Williams [type your name here]

A Research Paper in Partial Fulfillment for the Requirements of

HD 4409 Family and Society

Amridge University

Montgomery, Alabama

Month, Year

How a Knowledge of Family and Society Can Help

One Function Effectively as a Pastoral Counselor

What is meant by “pastoral counselor” and “pastoral counseling” as used in this research paper? I am not referring to professional, licensed counselors, but rather to recognized representatives of faith groups who do the work of counseling on behalf of those groups, not necessarily with formal licensure, but with some training and expertise. Clinebell (2011, pp. 9–10) defined pastoral counseling as “a focused form of pastoral care geared toward enabling individuals, couples, and families to cope more constructively with crises, losses, difficult decisions, and other anxiety-laden experiences.” How is pastoral counseling different from other types of counseling? Pastoral counseling is distinguished from other types of counseling based on the role of the counselor as a representative of a religious community and the counselor’s accountability to a faith system. Pastoral counseling makes use of both psychology and theology in its practice (“Pastoral Counseling,” 2017).

The purpose of this paper is to explore some of the ways in which a knowledge of families and their place in society can help one function effectively as a pastoral counselor. Why families in society? Rowatt (1997, p. 555) explains: “The modern pastoral counseling movement has been nourished in the context of family development, family crises, and family therapy. The daily operations of a church involve weddings, births, deaths, family members in crises and a wide variety of family concerns. In fact, many pastors think family issues when someone mentions counseling.”

A pastoral counselor must give attention to common types of counseling like these (Clinebell, 2011; Worden, 2009; Collins, 1988; Wright, 2011a; Wright, 2011b):

1. Caregiving in illness.

2. Grief counseling.

3. Ethical counseling.

4. Crisis counseling.

5. Educative counseling.

6. Spiritual counseling.

Whether the counseling or caregiving is done to individuals, couples, or larger family units, it always involves families in one way or another and the counselee(s)’s interaction with other family members and society. I will illustrate the importance of a knowledge of families and their place in society in helping a pastoral counselor in the following areas: crisis counseling, grief counseling, and counseling singles.

Crisis counseling. According to Wright, a crisis typically refers to someone’s response to an external hazard that disturbs normal functioning. The “crisis usually involves a temporary loss of coping abilities, and the assumption is that the emotional dysfunction is reversible. If a person effectively copes with the threat, he or she then returns to prior levels of functioning” (Wright, 2011a, p. 128). The normal phases of a crisis are shown in the table below (Wright, 2011a, p. 145):

The Normal Crisis Pattern
Phase I	Phase II	Phase III	Phase IV
Impact	Withdrawal Confusion	Adjustment	Reconstruction Reconciliation

A crisis can take many different forms. It may be unexpected death of a loved one as in suicide. It might be sudden financial ruin, an accident, the loss of a job, a devastating medical diagnosis, or any number of events. A crisis can happen to a person at any age in any social setting or position.

One of the most common crises individuals and families face in our society today is that of divorce. Strong and Cohen (2017, pp. 495–96) point out that numerous societal factors that can affect families by undermining traditional functions, so that people feel less bound to stay connected to the family, resulting in divorce. Demographic factors “including employment status, income, education level, ethnicity, and religion” appear to have a correlation with divorce (pp. 496–97). Family processes, like how a couple handles conflict, are likely some of the most important factors influencing the likelihood of divorce (p. 496). Understanding these processes can help pastoral counselors. After divorce, a knowledge of family and society can aid the pastoral counselor in providing care in dealing with the consequences of divorce. Those consequences are economic and emotional. They can affect the health of all concerned, adults and the children (pp. 511–18).

Grief counseling. For some pastoral counselors, grief counseling begins in the days before a funeral, it is practiced in the funeral service itself, and it continues for many months with multiple family members through a series of stages. Worden (2009, pp. 39–53) explains that there are four tasks of mourning:

Task 1: To accept the reality of the loss.

Task 2: To process the pain of grief.

Task 3: To adjust to a world without the deceased.

Task 4: To find an enduring connection with the deceased in the midst of embarking on a new life.

These tasks of the grieving process are experienced significantly different from one individual to the next in length and intensity. Therefore, Worden (p. 57) says it is vitally important for a counselor to understand the mediators of mourning. These mediators of mourning are where a knowledge of family and society will help a pastoral counselor give care in grief recovery.

A counselor must understand who the person who died was to those who are grieving and the nature of the attachment. How the person died can have an impact upon mourning. Have there been previous losses for the mourner, and, if so, how were they handled in grief recovery? What is the personality of the mourner like? Coping style? Attachment style? Cognitive style? What social variables are significant such as family support? Finally, are there any concurrent stresses going on in the life of the mourner (Worden, 2009, pp. 57–78)? This focus has been on providing care for an individual. Worden later turns to family systems where he reminds his readers: “Most families exist in some type of homeostatic balance, and the loss of a significant person in the family group can unbalance this homeostasis and cause the family to feel pain and to seek help. … Knowledge of the total family configuration, the functioning position of the dying person in the family, and the overall level of life adaptation is important for anyone who attempts to help a family before, during, or after a death” (p. 217).

Counseling singles. A knowledge of family and society helps the pastoral counselor in ministering to singles first by better understanding the complexity of the singles population that does not fit easily under a single umbrella (Strong & Cohen, 2017, p. 325). Some have never been married, some are divorced, while others are widows or widowers. Some want to get married at some point while others do not. There are variations based on age, gender, ethnicity, and other factors. There are many myths concerning singles such as, “Singles lack a partner and, therefore, lack a purpose” (p. 330). Many singles practice cohabitation, and pastoral counselors must be prepared to deal with this prevalent practice (pp. 330–31).

Counseling singles can mean that a pastoral counselor is dealing with a very diverse group and an equally mixed bag of issues: problems with loneliness, problems of self-esteem, problems with identity and direction, problems with sex, problems with emotions, and other miscellaneous problems (Collins, 1988, pp. 366–68). Counseling singles can involve a broader ministry or counseling a larger social group such as a congregation to develop more wholesome attitudes such as everyone’s attitude toward singles, their acceptance of singles, and the church’s ministries to singles. Singles may need encouragement to evaluate their life goals and make better life plans for the future, to improve interpersonal relationships, and to work toward a stable marriage and family, if that is their goal (pp. 368–73).

In conclusion, a knowledge of families and their place in society is vital in helping a pastoral counselor function effectively. My research has given examples of how this is true in crisis counseling, grief counseling, and counseling singles.

References

Clinebell, Howard. Revised by Bridget Clare McKeever. (2011). Basic Types of Pastoral Care & Counseling: Resources for the Ministry of Healing & Growth. 3rd ed. Abingdon Press.

Collins, Gary R. 1988. Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide. Revised ed. Word Publishing.

“Pastoral Counseling.” (2017, June 25). In Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pastoral_ counseling

Rowatt, Wade. (1997). “The Family Context of Pastoral Counseling.” Review & Expositor, 94(4), 555-564.

Strong, Bryan, and Theodore F. Cohen. (2017). The Marriage and Family Experience: Intimate Relationships in a Changing Society. 13th ed. Cengage Learning.

Worden, J. William. 2009. Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner. 4th ed. Springer Publishing Company.

Wright, H. Norman. (2011a). Helping Those in Grief. Ventura, CA: Regal.

Wright, H. Norman. (2011b). The Complete Guide to Crisis & Trauma Counseling: What to do and Say When It Matters Most! Revised ed. Regal.