FAMILY AND CHILD

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Double space or single space formatting is fine. You can use bullets, but please use full sentences. The first two examples are strong; see notes on example 3. Example 1: Very thorough definition with a detailed example. I would not expect this length for all of the definitions, but this example shows the way you could cover ideas within a definition. Angels and Ghosts in the Nursery: Lieberman/Fraiberg

Ghosts and Angels in this context refer to influences from one’s parents or caregivers. Ghosts

was the first term described by Selma Fraiberg (Fraiberg, Adelson, and Shapiro, 1975, as cited in

Lieberman, Padrón, van Horn, & Harris, 2005). Ghosts were a metaphor to describe harmful

influences related to when the child and parent relationship was disrupted. This can include

maltreatment and neglect. The ghosts appear when the child who experienced neglect and abuse

grows up and has to raise their own children. This adult may engage in the same type of behaviors

as their parents, even without being aware of it. So, for example when their child asks for help

with something and this parent is low on energy, the parent might just ignore and shut the child

off and/or tell them to take care of this on their own. This would reflect just how they were

neglected when in need of help as a child.

This is also seen with family violence. A child may swear to themselves that they will never

be as hurtful or abusive as a parent after what they experienced. But then the person grows up and

it happens all over again because the ghosts appear. This is however not always the case.

Sometimes ghosts are simply sent away because the parent wants to and is able to have insights

and not repeat the patterns. A parent must be able to identify the ghosts to break these patterns.

Angels in the nursery are a response to the ghosts termed by Lieberman et al. (2005). These

angels are a metaphor for caring and responsive parenting and are the more benevolent influences.

These can impact and guide a healthy relationship between the child and the parent. An example

can be that as a child you went to bed feeling safe and loved because your mother always sang

your favorite song to you. Now you engage in the same behavior giving your own child the same

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experience. These positive experiences affect the development of the child and later the memories

can help the parent to break a pattern of neglect and/or maltreatment.

The ghosts and angels hereby refer to the learned behaviors from one’s parents or caregivers

that you pass down when raising your own child later in life. Lieberman et al. (2005) emphasize

that for an effective intervention in the parent and child relationship, it is more important to help

the parent recognize the angels than it is to be exorcising the ghosts. This way the parent will

hopefully be more aware of the child’s perspective and not the stressors that can provoke the

ghosts. An example of this can be a father who as a child experienced neglect. He feels like his

mother was never there for him. She was always trying to please her newest boyfriend and he was

left alone with no one to turn to or to make him feel loved. Now he is a father himself, and he has

a beautiful and loving wife, but he keeps burying himself in work and never takes the time to play

with his son. The ghosts of being overseen and neglected as a kid follow him as a father. One day

his son has an important soccer match and the mother asks the father to come watch because this

is really important to the son and to her. The father suddenly remembers a soccer match from when

he was a kid. His mother was watching the game. They won. She took him out for ice cream

afterwards. This had been one of the best days. He suddenly felt warmth for his mother. He decided

to go to his son’s soccer match even though he still had lots to do at his job. And they had the best

day together all three of them.

Example 2; Strong and effective definition using bullets, but with broad ideas and good examples. Parent-Teen Communication

• As a teen grows up, they may become more distant or more independent from their parents. They are also likely to turn to their peers for advice and to share feelings. These communicative disclosures may occur more often with their peers rather than their parents, so some areas of communication will shift or decrease. During the stage of adolescence, as teens engage in “autonomy-taking” and also hope for “independence- giving” from their parents, there is also more potential for a higher frequency of parent- adolescent conflict. “Establishing strong yet permeable boundaries can be challenging,

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since parents can no longer maintain complete authority over adolescents.” (Walsh, e- book, 2015, p.390).

Technology also has an increasing role in parent-teen communication and the decisions related to tracking and monitoring teens due to safety or other concerns (Damour, 2018).

• Other influences on communication: Adolescents develop a personal fable, and become more involved with their own social life, and become involved with their own views and opinions (looking at these in relation to others’ opinions). They have more self-consciousness in this identity versus role- confusion stage, and may feel that there is an “imaginary audience”, watching and judging them.

• Examples related to parent-teen communication: o Poor or ineffective communication: There are many types of overall family

communication. In parent-teen communication, if the teen perceives their parent is too engaged in “control talk” and being too strict with certain rules, then this could create greater tension between the two, resulting in arguments or distancing. This would occur if a teen wants more independence than their parents will give, either in their choice of activities or in their overall freedom of movement.

o Positive and open communication: Communication that is flexible to changing circumstances. This would occur in a warm and open family environment. Parents can still set clear reasonable standards for behavior -from both sides of the relationship. Adolescents have strengths and creativity and can contribute ideas about ways for inclusive communication in the context of family life. “Adolescents can and do open the family to a whole array of new values as they bring friends and new ideals into the family arena.” (Walsh, e-book, 2015, p.390).

Example 3: While this is an accurate definition that identified the three areas of family resilience, the definition needed to be formatted in sentences (a narrative) with some original ideas and more developed examples. (Examples are minimal or missing.) Family Resilience Framework According to Walsh, the Family Resilience Framework applies to many types of family structures and has three areas.

• Area 1: Belief Systems: Make meaning of crisis and challenge, Maintain a positive outlook � Value transcendence and spirituality

• Ex. families who face death with positivity; “it was god’s will” • Area 2: Family Organization and Resources: Flexible, Connected, Supported by social and

economic resources • Ex. as stated a family who has a good amount of support from family and good wealth. • Area 3: Family Communication; Share clear and constant messages, openly express emotions,

use collaborative problem solving.