Cultural Interview and Active Listening Assignment

Cultural Interview #1 Final Draft

Part 1:

I am a local to the Seattle area and most of my knowledge about other cultures is through books and interpersonal relationships as I have traveled very little outside of the United States. When my classmates began to introduce what culture they could speak about, I heard many places that I know at least a little about such as those in central America, the Philippines, India, etc. When I heard “Somalia” something I my brain went “ooo!” as this was not somewhere I knew much about at all. I hadn’t heard much about Somalia other than the embarrassing single stories of war and pirates, so I figured this would be a great opportunity for me to learn something about a country I knew very little about. I set off doing some research about Somalia in terms of history, language, religion, and other defining factors. What I found out was that my single story that I had of Somalia was what I was finding to be easily accessible on the internet as well. If you google Somalia, immediately you are flooded with articles on war, bombing and pictures of families looking destitute. Surely this could not be ALL there is to know about Somalia! With further digging I found that war-torn Somalia is relatively recent in historical terms. Before all of that Somalia was a lively port country with expansive coastline, a power placement that made it a target for foreign powers to try to take over. I couldn’t wait to find out more about this culture in my interview.

When starting my interview, I had the information I had gathered on Somalia, the sample questions, and a whole lot of curiosity in hand. I met Maru in one of the little rooms in the learning center at 12:15pm on a Tuesday afternoon right after I got out of a different class which gave me little time to re-prepare my thoughts before going in. I thanked her for meeting with me, started turning on my voice recording app, and thought I would start off with the broad “So, you’re from Somalia.” while I finished setting up. “I have never really lived there” replied Maru. “I might not be able to answer some of these questions about history and things. I asked my mom last week because no one really talks about it.” Caught a little off guard I asked “Oh, so where did you grow up?” wondering if our cultures would end up being more similar than I thought. “Kenya” she said, “After my parents moved got married they moved to Kenya because of the war, that is where we [the children] were born.”. The quick realization that my interview might not be about Somalia at all made me wish that I had prepared differently. I was already anxious about interviewing someone I didn’t know to talk about a culture I knew very little about. The realization that my notes were only going to be mildly helpful at best was daunting. I would say that in reference to Barna’s Stumbling Blocks, high anxiety was at play the most, at least for me, in this interview. Feeling awkward I made it through some more background questions and got a little bit better base for my interview to really start off from. I learned that Maru’s family were refugees in Kenya and they moved to the United States when Maru was about 10 years old. Though her immediate family moved to the U.S. much of her extended family was is still in Kenya and some have been considering moving back to Somalia as the Kenyan government is getting more stringent with refugees.

Through this interview, I found that mainly listening is harder than I thought it would be and that I was habitually adding tidbits about myself or my culture when this interview was supposed to be about Maru and her culture. I realized I love a good conversation and the back and forth style of commentary. I needed to adjust my focus purely on my interviewee, not on my responses. When I started to really listen instead of preparing a reply, I found I understood more of what Maru was talking about and had an easier time producing follow up questions because intently listening made my thirst for knowledge greater.

Part 2:

I learned a lot about culture and identity from this interview. I learned that your culture can be affiliated with somewhere you have never lived at all. In the case of Maru, she very strongly aligns herself with Somalian culture even though she has never lived in Somalia. Her parents, grandparents and extended family are all Somalian and that is the culture that she was raised in the tradition of. She spent her younger years as a part of a refugee family in Kenya but that is not where she identifies herself from culturally. Maru has a culture built on community and grounded in religious belief.

Maru is Muslim, and I found that many of my questions about cultural practices were answered with religious practices. This shows what a huge part of herself is her Muslim faith and that faith is the footing for her cultural experience. For instance, when I asked about cultural celebrations, I learned about Ramadan and Eid. I learned a lot about fasting during Ramadan and how you wake up at one o’clock in the morning to drink water and have a little food but that it is hard to eat at that time even though you have been so hungry. Living in the United States and living at our pace with different cultural values and practices presents challenges such as when you are fasting during Ramadan, you do not always have the ability to take a slower pace and rest more. You are still expected to go to school, work, and keep up with all the other facets of a busy American life even though you are running on very little nutrient intake. Maru said that it would be normal to rest a lot and not do much other than prayer and extra visits to the Mosque during Ramadan. However, Muslims in America still have to continue classes and work and it can be excruciating but that doesn’t stop them from practicing or make them change their beliefs.

A theme of Maru’s culture that we kept coming back to in my interview was community. It seemed that memories and traditions were always strewn with people coming together. Holidays are spent with family and community members. Eid is the end of Ramadan where families come together and enjoy large feasts to signify the end of fasting and the end of harder times. Weddings are giant events that involve usually involve the entire religious and cultural community and are no small or inexpensive celebration. When I asked about how life in Kenya was different than life in the United States, I was given imagery of community villages where all the families were like your own and you could come and go between houses as you pleased. You always helped out a neighbor or community member in need without hesitation. You wouldn’t run to the market if you found you were out of an ingredient, you would just ask your neighbor. Family is very important and you wouldn’t think about not living with family until you’re married just as you wouldn’t think about putting older relatives in any sort of facility. When the elders can not take care of themselves, they live with family who take care of them until they pass. The way that Maru described it, she said that she couldn’t imagine missing those last moments with a loved one. Every moment you spend with that family member is a gift and those last moments are so important both for you and your family member as they pass on to the afterlife. That really gave me and interesting perspective and contrast to the elder care we are accustomed to here in the United States.

Something I found interesting when learning about Maru’s culture had to do with culture based on location. There are some rules and expectations that lax a little bit in western culture. Things like talking to someone of the opposite gender in public can be okay here where as in Somalia or Kenya it would be thought of in a negative way. Maru explained that here the “They are just a friend” holds more merit and less suspicion than if the same situation arose where she is from.

Many cultural norms here are very strange to someone from Somalia or Kenya. Maru said that you can never tell an elder that they are wrong. Even if they are wrong, it is provable, or everyone knows they are wrong it cannot be spoken. Eye contact is not as frowned upon as in some cultures, but I was informed that certain kinds of eye contact can seem disrespectful and may get you called out as such. Tone of voice is something that I noticed and asked Maru about. She speaks very softly and sometimes during our interview I felt as though I was yelling even when I was speaking in my normal voice. In fact, my recording of our interview proved to be less helpful than I had hoped because I could clearly hear what I was asking but many times could not make out Maru’s answer. She tells me it is very unusual for a woman to raise her voice and that what is considered a normal American volume is essentially yelling. This is where I realized that I was being insensitive, and I tried to lower my voice a little after that. Maru’s tone was not much above that of a library whisper and I found it was actually relatively difficult for me to match consistently. I think that this could be a part of the “rude American tourist” stereotype that you hear about from other countries. I think that it would be useful for Americans to gauge the tone and habits of conversation better before jumping into an unknown culture and coming off as rude and insensitive.

After going over basic information and some of the superficial things, my interview became serious and deep. I was nervous about this topic, but I started asking if it was hard to be a Muslim in America today and some of the answers made my heart want to implode. Maru shared about how the recent culture of bias and intolerance was creating an atmosphere where attacks on Muslims we blatant and unapologetic. She told me harrowing stories of people who she personally knows who has their hijabs ripped off, of being yelled at, and of men being beaten. She told me that things have gotten worse under current American administration and that Muslims are being seen as one thing. Instead of accepting and reveling in our diversity, Muslims in our country are being told they don’t belong and need to assimilate or be more like “us” whatever that means. This is a harrowing example of ethnocentrism on the part of Americans and it really shows why ethnocentrism can be so detrimental. As opposed to showing pride in one’s culture and customs, it becomes intolerant to anything else. Many Americans (and others around the world) have a single story of Muslims and that is one of terrorism. Maru said to me that she can no longer walk alone at night and that a relative has to meet her at her bus stop after she leaves from class of Wednesday nights to walk home with her. This was all so hard to hear. I realized what a safe and privileged space I live in. These were the kinds of stories that I only distantly heard of instead of being something I had first or even secondhand experience with. Listening to this account of the terrors happening so close made me feel shame that I have been missing the cultural awareness that this is not a distant problem and it is happening here in our supposedly forward thinking and safe part of the country. My heart breaks for those who are being treated as if they are not humans with their own rights and identities.

This interview went from the superficial tip of the iceberg to the deep-rooted beliefs to the forces that try to dismantle them. I was left yearning for more because I could see how every new fact and story was opening my viewpoint and expanding my own ideas and affirmations.

Part 3

I think what surprised me the most in this interview is that talking with someone else about their culture isn’t as hard or invasive as I had imagined it was. I was so concerned and anxious about being offensive that sometimes I would start off a question about particular cultural facets with “I don’t want to sound insensitive” which was usually met with a warm smile and “no, don’t worry.”. It is certain to me that many other people have the same anxieties about saying the wrong thing that I do and that may be why we aren’t digging deeper into the cultures of others. Even if I had said the wrong thing or, for instance, when I realized I was speaking really loudly, that may have not been perfect, but it was a part of the whole cultural learning process. These mistakes and learning moments are an important part of our communication across cultures. This interview has boosted my confidence in talking to people about their culture. I realized I have to feel this anxiety in order to increase my knowledge base because if I never let myself out of my comfort zone I wouldn’t have any new experiences. I have probably missed out on a lot of opportunities for friendship and community because of my fear of saying the wrong thing.

I wish I had prepared more questions and I wish that I had asked deeper questions regarding emotional aspects of culture. I felt like when we were talking about the awful oppression in this country and I could feel real empathy for the horrible situations that Maru and her friends and family have been through there was a real connection that helped me understand a lot about her culture without having to spell it out. At the same time, I also feel like I want to experience more of the joys of Maru’s culture like I had thought about in the beginning. It is hard to stay balanced in a cultural discussion of understanding struggle and also what constitutes the happiness on everyday life for a different culture.

I feel like this interview could have had a lot more depth in many areas and that my awkwardness got in the way a lot of times. I think that learning more about cultural communication will be important for my future and I think it is crucial for me to learn more. This will not only help me in everyday life, but also for my future in healthcare where I will be surrounded by differing cultures and ideals daily and not have the time for being anxious or not knowing how to start those conversations. I know I have the compassion, openness, and empathy, but I need to work on my knowledge of cultural worldviews, communication differences, and curiosity to ask more complex questions.

For my next interview I will spend more time preparing questions with possibly a little less time on research since much of my research I found to be incorrect. I will also think about interviewing in a more comfortable environment to ease some nerves and help conversation flow. I will spend more time digging deeper into topics so that I can feel like I have done more than just scratch the surface of a culture. I think a lot about the iceberg illustration and how I need to gain the understanding and comfort to go into deeper topics to increase cultural awareness.