Safeguarding Children

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Safe.pdf

Safe by Rachael Fabelurin

Submission dat e : 07 - Jan- 2019 12:02PM (UT C+0000) Submission ID: 98321601 File name : 94 812_Rachael_Fabelurin_Saf e_506158_84 631664 2.do cx Word count : 4 369 Charact e r count : 24 07 0

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Int ro. Int ro brief

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E and E.Equal considerat ion t o LO's

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ref up t o dat e 1

Good point s needs ref erences. Ref erence t hroughout your work

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2

address immediat ely

RW

address immediat ely

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Abbreviat ions

Good point s needs ref erences.

over-reliance

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Abbr.

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very good, however.....

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analysis

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RW

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Good knowledge 1 11

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12 LO4.1

E and E.

Det ail

Expa

Good point s needs ref erences.

desc wit h links f or analysis

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Equal considerat ion t o LO's

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Good

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LO4.1

Good

Good

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succinct

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Good knowledge 1

analysis

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repet it ion

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ref -up t o dat e-1

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avoid f irst , second....

Conc. conc t oo brief

abbr - end t ext

4% SIMILARIT Y INDEX

3% INT ERNET SOURCES

0% PUBLICAT IONS

1% ST UDENT PAPERS

1 1%

2 <1% 3 <1% 4 <1% 5 <1% 6 <1% 7 <1% 8 <1% 9

Safe ORIGINALITY REPORT

PRIMARY SOURCES

Submitted to Bolton Institute of Higher Education St udent Paper

www.ncb.org.uk Int ernet Source

Submitted to Coventry University St udent Paper

www.grandparentsplus.org.uk Int ernet Source

angliaruskin.openrepository.com Int ernet Source

www.sor.org Int ernet Source

www.tandf online.com Int ernet Source

www.childrensmapping.org.uk Int ernet Source

core.ac.uk

<1% 10 <1% 11 <1% 12 <1% 13 <1% 14 <1% 15 <1%

Exclude quo tes Of f

Exclude biblio graphy On

Exclude matches Of f

Int ernet Source

kinderschutzf onds.ch Int ernet Source

www.childprotectioninquiry.qld.gov.au Int ernet Source

ssrg.org.uk Int ernet Source

sro.sussex.ac.uk Int ernet Source

kemsley.kent.sch.uk Int ernet Source

www.publications.parliament.uk Int ernet Source

FINAL GRADE

30/100 Safe GRADEMARK REPORT

GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

T hank yo u f o r submitting yo ur essay, I can see that then similarity sco re is 21% which is acceptable but please try to paraphrase mo re ef f ectively to keep this sco re to a minimum.

Please review co mments belo w which explain ho w yo u met the learning o utco mes and any po ints f o r f uture develo pment.

LO1: Critically analyse the co ncepts o f saf eguarding children and child abuse in the co ntext o f yo ur pro f essio nal ro le.

MET

Yo u have explained the so cial wo rkers ro les and respo nsibilities in relatio n to saf eguarding children in detail, ho wever, the discussio n is a descriptio n o f the so cial wo rker ro le rather than a critical discussio n abo ut the co ncepts o f children and saf eguarding. T he discussio ns wo uld f ro m mo re analysis and co uld be achieved by f o llo wing the written and verbal guidance I pro vided during the mo dule.

LO2: Analyse and critically evaluate indicato rs and signs o f child abuse and the impact o f child abuse o n children.

UNMET - Yo u have to uched upo n so me o f the signs o f child abuse in yo ur discussio ns, ho wever, these are extremely brief and yo u have no t pro vided any evidence o f the indicato rs (risk f acto rs) o f child abuse. We discussed these in lesso ns and I went thro ugh the requirements o f the essay and I pro vided written guidance. Yo u must pay clo se attentio n to the requirements o f the assessment brief and the learning o utco mes to ensure that yo u meet them adequately in f uture.

LO3: Apply and critically evaluate the po licies that underpin yo ur ro le in the reco gnitio n o f and respo nse to child abuse.

MET

Yo u demo nstrate very go o d understanding o f the legislatio n, guidance and po licies that underpin the so cial wo rkers ro le, ho wever, the discussio ns are descriptive rather than analytical.

T o achieve this yo u co uld have discussed ho w these po licies and legislatio n inf o rm practice and why they are impo rtant. Furthermo re, yo u co uld have discussed whether they are always ef f ective o r if they can so metimes restrict/inhibit ef f ective practice. Fo r example, they may be to o prescriptive, so me may be o utdated, so me may be vague, and so me may no t allo w f o r f lexibility o r suppo rt decisio n making ef f ectively. In additio n, so me are no t statuto ry so it do esn't have to be adhered to rigidly and this can create co nf usio n amo ngst practitio ners and inco nsistencies between areas. T his co uld then be f o llo wed up with a discussio n abo ut ho w they have been impro ved with mo re up to date guidance, po licy and legislatio n.

LO4 : Critically discuss the f acto rs that inhibit and assist partnership wo rking when saf eguarding children suggesting ho w yo ur pro f essio n’s ef f ectiveness may be enhanced.

MET

Relevance - Go o d o n the who le but yo u f ailed to meet all the requirements o f LO2.

Kno wledge and Understanding - Go o d o n the who le but yo u f ailed to meet all the requirements o f LO2.

Argument/Analysis/Ref lectio n - satisf acto ry

Structure - Go o d

Presentatio n - Go o d

Written English - Go o d/very go o d

Research/Ref erencing - the ref erencing technique is go o d, ho wever, yo u rely to o heavily o n a f ew so urces so yo u must read mo re widely aro und the to pics and use the reading material in yo ur wo rk.

Po ints f o r develo pment-

Separate paragraphs when yo u are discussing new to pics so that yo ur wo rk f lo ws mo re co herently.

- Give equal co nsideratio n to all elements o f the learning o utco mes and the assessment brief to ensure that yo u meet them adequately. A way to address this is to allo cate an equal number o f wo rds to each.

· Impro ve critical analysis: these are the links f o r critical analysis:

https://www2.so utheastern.edu/Academics/Faculty/elejeune/critique.htm

https://www.tru.ca/__shared/assets/Critical_Analysis_T emplate30565.pdf

Impro ve ref erencing: I have included so me links f o r yo u to f o llo w regarding ref erencing belo w. Yo u can access guidance via LEAP o nline o n the university

web pages, I have bo o klets in my o f f ice so yo u can sto p by and pick o ne up and I wo uld be happy to suppo rt yo u if yo u require.

https://www.bo lto n.ac.uk/leapo nline/My- Academic- Develo pment/My- Writing- T echniques/Ref erencing/Level- 2/Harvard- Ref erencing.aspx

http://educatio n.exeter.ac.uk/dll/studyskills/harvard_ref erencing.htm

https://www.salf o rd.ac.uk/skills- f o r- learning/ho me/using- and- ref erencing- inf o rmatio n/ref erencing

Impro ve writing intro ductio ns – see co mments in text and here is a link f o r yo u to f o llo w with hints and tips f o r writing go o d intro ductio ns.

https://warwick.ac.uk/f ac/so c/al/glo balpad/o penho use/academicenglishskills/writing/mo reinf o /

Impro ve writing co nclusio ns – see co mments in text and here is a link f o r yo u to f o llo w with hints and tips f o r writing go o d co nclusio ns.

https://warwick.ac.uk/f ac/so c/al/glo balpad/o penho use/academicenglishskills/writing/co nclusio ns/

Overall the essay is go o d, ho wever, yo u have no t met all the elements within LO2 so I am unable to award a pass grade. Please arrange an appo intment with me bef o re yo u re- submit so we can go thro ugh what is required to pass the assessment.

Marked by Katie Bannister 24 .01.19.

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Second Marker's Comments.

Unfortunately this essay does not meet the assessment criteria at this time. There are many good points included, but you need to spend time considering the feedback from the first marker and book a tutorial so you are able to raise to a pass standard.

Hassan Osman 28/01/2019

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Comment 1

f acto rs that inhibit and enhance partnership wo rking....

Intro. An intro ductio n is an impo rtant ro ad map f o r the rest o f the paper. T he intro ductio n co nveys a lo t o f inf o rmatio n to the readers. Autho rs can let readers kno w what the to pic is, why it is impo rtant, and ho w the autho r plans to pro ceed with the discussio n.

In mo st academic disciplines, the intro ductio n sho uld co ntain a thesis that will assert the main argument. It sho uld also , ideally, give the reader a sense o f the kinds o f inf o rmatio n the autho r will use to make that argument and the general o rganizatio n o f the paragraphs and pages that will f o llo w. Af ter reading an intro ductio n, readers sho uld no t have any majo r surprises in sto re when they read the main bo dy o f the paper.

Intro brief

T he intro ductio n is brief and do es no t pro vide a lo t o f inf o rmatio n abo ut what to expect. Please see no tes to the lef t and in the side pane f o r guidance.

¶ New paragraph: When a paragraph gets to o lo ng yo ur reaso ning may appear jumbled and co nf used. Paragraphs

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are the steps that allo w yo ur reader to make pro gress thro ugh yo ur paper. Witho ut eno ugh steps, the argument beco mes dif f icult to f o llo w. Usually there are subtle shif ts o f emphasis within a lo ng paragraph that can beco me a paragraph break. T ry to f igure o ut what yo ur paragraph's main po int is so that yo ur reader do esn't have to .

LO1.1 Co nsideratio n o f learning o utco me 1

LO1.1 Co nsideratio n o f learning o utco me 1

¶ New paragraph: When a paragraph gets to o lo ng yo ur reaso ning may appear jumbled and co nf used. Paragraphs are the steps that allo w yo ur reader to make pro gress thro ugh yo ur paper. Witho ut eno ugh steps, the argument beco mes dif f icult to f o llo w. Usually there are subtle shif ts o f emphasis within a lo ng paragraph that can beco me a paragraph break. T ry to f igure o ut what yo ur paragraph's main po int is so that yo ur reader do esn't have to . Additional Comment

Yo u must use new paragraphs whenever yo u are discussing a new to pic, please co nsider this thro ugho ut yo ur wo rk to develo p yo ur writing skills.

E and E.

It wo uld be usef ul to expand and explain the po ints in this paragraph to demo nstrate a deeper kno wledge and understanding.

Equal consideration to LO's

Yo u must give equal co nsideratio n to all elements o f the learning o utco mes to ensure that yo u meet them adequately. T his so metimes means yo u have to cut do wn discussio ns o r take o ut so me o f the co ntent in the lo nger discussio ns to make ro o m f o r lengthier and mo re detailed discussio ns elsewhere in yo ur wo rk.

Additional Comment

I no tice that yo u have discussed LO's 3 and 4 in much mo re detail than LO's 1 and 2.

LO2.1 Co nsideratio n o f learning o utco me 2 Additional Comment

Ho wever, this is very brief .

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ref up to date 1

Please ensure that when yo u are discussing current practice/issues that the ref erence is up to

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Please ensure that when yo u are discussing current practice/issues that the ref erence is up to date so that it f its with the co ntext o f the discussio n and is relevant.

Good points needs ref erences. So me go o d po ints but needs mo re ref erences to sho w a deeper understanding and evidence o f wider reading aro und the subject.

Ref erence throughout your work All academic wo rk builds o n the ideas and disco veries o f previo us scho lars. T his intellectual debt must be ackno wledged in every instance with a clear and accurate ref erence sho wing readers exactly where the quo te, idea o r f act can be f o und. It is no t eno ugh to include the so urce at the end o f a paragraph o r in a biblio graphy at the end o f an assignment.

What to ref erence

Ref erences sho uld be included in yo ur assignments wherever yo u have emplo yed the wo rk o f o thers, whether yo u are quo ting a passage directly o r using their ideas to build an argument.

Ref erencing f acts and inf o rmatio n

Much o f the inf o rmatio n yo u will use in assignments at university is no t the wo rk o f any particular scho lar. T here will, ho wever, be many o ccasio ns where yo u will f ind inf o rmatio n f o r the f irst time in a certain bo o k o r article. Even tho ugh the f act may be new to yo u, it was no t that particular autho r's exclusive disco very, and there is theref o re no need to cite yo ur so urce f o r the inf o rmatio n.

Example

Winsto n Churchill was bo rn at Blenheim Palace o n 30th No vember 187 4 (Jenkins 2001, p.5).

Winsto n Churchill's birthplace and birth date were no t the exclusive disco very o f Ro y Jenkins, in who se bo o k this inf o rmatio n was f o und, and so there is no need to cite the so urce f o r this particular f act. Yo u might, ho wever, want to cite Jenkins' bo o k as a general so urce o f inf o rmatio n o n the lif e o f Churchill.

Ho wever, so me f actual inf o rmatio n is the exclusive disco very o f o ne o r a gro up o f scho lars. It may, f o r example, be the result o f experiment o r research, o r perhaps the explanatio n o f an archaeo lo gical f ind. Autho rs will no rmally make it explicit where this is the case.

Example

In the Ro man pro vince o f Belgica, the average size o f cattle increased by up to 20 per cent during the Ro man perio d, indicating market o rientated pro ductio n (Lepetz 1996 cited Wo o lf 2001, p.56).

In this example, the f act that cattle increased in size during the Ro man perio d in Belgica is the exclusive disco very o f Lepetz, and so must be ref erenced.

If yo u are unsure whether a particular piece o f inf o rmatio n is the wo rk o f a particular scho lar, it is always best to be saf e and include a ref erence anyway. Yo ur lecturer will po int o ut where ref erences are unnecessary when the assignment is marked.

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LO3.1 Co nsideratio n o f learning o utco me

Comment 2

It wo uld be usef ul to discuss the f igures to highlight the po int.

address immediately

When yo u intro duce a to pic yo u must address it immediately o r the reader will be lef t wo ndering.

Additional Comment

Either address the po int here by discussing it in mo re detail o r leave it until later in the essay.

Strikethrough.

RW

co nsider re- wo rding and pro o f read yo ur wo rk tho ro ughly bef o re submissio n to eliminate erro rs.

address immediately

When yo u intro duce a to pic yo u must address it immediately o r the reader will be lef t wo ndering.

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Comment 4

T itles are no t required in an essay o f this style.

LO1.1 Co nsideratio n o f learning o utco me 1

Abbreviations Only use abbreviatio ns if yo u have previo usly written them in f ull and abbreviated in the essay

Good points needs ref erences. So me go o d po ints but needs mo re ref erences to sho w a deeper understanding and evidence o f wider reading aro und the subject.

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over-reliance

T ry to avo id o ver- reliance o f o ne so urce.

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Additional Comment

and use a variety o f so urces to highlight the po ints.

LO3.1 Co nsideratio n o f learning o utco me

Abbr. Yo u must abbreviate e.g. Department o f Health (DH) (date), the Natio nal Health Service (NHS) (date), T he Ro yal Co llege o f Nursing (RCN) (date), the Care Quality Co mmissio n (CQC) (date), then yo u can use the abbreviatio n thro ugho ut the rest o f the essay.

LO1.1 Co nsideratio n o f learning o utco me 1

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LO3.1 Co nsideratio n o f learning o utco me

very good, however.....

Very go o d, ho wever......

Additional Comment

Yo u demo nstrate very go o d kno wledge o f the ro le o f a so cial wo rker but this is a descriptio n o f their ro les and respo nsibilities rather than a critical discussio n abo ut saf eguarding children.

Strikethrough.

Comment 6

Here is an o ppo rtunity to discuss the signs, sympto ms and indicato rs o f abuse (LO 2).

Strikethrough.

Comment 8

such as?

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LO1.1 Co nsideratio n o f learning o utco me 1

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Comment 9

need

LO3.1 Co nsideratio n o f learning o utco me

analysis T his sectio n/paragraph is very descriptive and lacks critical analysis. T o achieve this I wo uld advise that yo u read the views/o pinio ns o f o ther autho rs and results o f research related to the to pic and write abo ut them, yo u can co mpare and co ntrast them to demo nstrate critical analysis. Additional Comment

Yo u demo nstrate go o d understanding o f the legislatio n, guidance and po licies that underpin the so cial wo rkers ro le, ho wever, the discussio ns are descriptive rather than analytical.

LO3.1 Co nsideratio n o f learning o utco me

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LO3.1 Co nsideratio n o f learning o utco me

RW

co nsider re- wo rding and pro o f read yo ur wo rk tho ro ughly bef o re submissio n to eliminate erro rs.

Comment 10

What is the o ld guidance?

LO4.1 Co nsideratio n o f learning o utco me 4

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Good knowledge 1

Yo u demo nstrate go o d kno wledge and understanding o f the to pic discussed here.

Comment 11

child in need.

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LO3.1 Co nsideratio n o f learning o utco me

LO4.1 Co nsideratio n o f learning o utco me 4

Comment 12

Why is it crucial?

LO4.1 Co nsideratio n o f learning o utco me 4

E and E.

It wo uld be usef ul to expand and explain the po ints in this paragraph to demo nstrate a deeper kno wledge and understanding.

Additional Comment

T he po ints yo u make are relevant but wo uld it wo uld be benef icial to discuss them in mo re detail.

Detail

Yo u must pro vide eno ugh detail f o r the reader to understand the co ncept and/o r co ntext o f the discussio n. A way o f acco mplishing this is to presume that the reader has little/no kno wledge o f the to pics yo u are discussing. If yo u keep this in mind yo u will be mo re likely to pro vide the right level o f detail in yo ur writing.

Expa It wo uld have been benef icial f o r yo u to expand o n this po int to sho w deeper understanding.

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Good points needs ref erences. So me go o d po ints but needs mo re ref erences to sho w a deeper understanding and evidence o f wider reading aro und the subject.

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desc with links f or analysis

T his/these sectio n(s) are descriptive rather than analytical and require a mo re critical discussio n abo ut the po ints.

T o address this I have pro vided so me links f o r yo u to f o llo w belo w.

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https://www2.so utheastern.edu/Academics/Faculty/elejeune/critique.htm

https://www.tru.ca/__shared/assets/Critical_Analysis_T emplate30565.pdf

LO4.1 Co nsideratio n o f learning o utco me 4

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Equal consideration to LO's

Yo u must give equal co nsideratio n to all elements o f the learning o utco mes to ensure that yo u meet them adequately. T his so metimes means yo u have to cut do wn discussio ns o r take o ut so me o f the co ntent in the lo nger discussio ns to make ro o m f o r lengthier and mo re detailed discussio ns elsewhere in yo ur wo rk.

Additional Comment

Altho ugh yo u have made so me go o d po ints abo ut the impo rtance o f assessment, they weren't necessary because yo u had already pro vided eno ugh inf o rmatio n abo ut the ro le o f the so cial wo rker and the po licies that underpin their ro le in the reco gnitio n and respo nse to child abuse. It wo uld have been better to replace the sectio ns abo ut the assessment pro cess with discussio ns that addressed LO2: Analyse and critically evaluate indicators and signs of child abuse and the impact of child abuse on children.

LO4.1 Co nsideratio n o f learning o utco me 4

LO4.1 Co nsideratio n o f learning o utco me 4

Good Go o d

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Comment 13

2018

Comment 14

It do es pro hibit the sharing o f perso nal inf o rmatio n if it is no t appro priate o r in the perso n's best interests.

Comment 15

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What do yo u mean by this?

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LO4.1 Co nsideratio n o f learning o utco me 4

Good Go o d

Good Go o d

Comment 16

Yo u do no t need to write this, just the year will suf f ice, save yo ur wo rds f o r mo re impo rtant discussio ns!!

Comment 17

what might these impacts be?

Comment 18

ho w?

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succinct

T his co uld have been written mo re succinctly to reduce the number o f wo rds.

Comment 19

Yo u have already discussed the data pro tectio n act so this sectio n was no t necessary.

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Good knowledge 1

Yo u demo nstrate go o d kno wledge and understanding o f the to pic discussed here.

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analysis T his sectio n/paragraph is very descriptive and lacks critical analysis. T o achieve this I wo uld

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advise that yo u read the views/o pinio ns o f o ther autho rs and results o f research related to the to pic and write abo ut them, yo u can co mpare and co ntrast them to demo nstrate critical analysis. Additional Comment

T he po ints yo u make are relevant but descriptive.

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LO2.1 Co nsideratio n o f learning o utco me 2

repetition

Yo u have already said this, yo u must avo id repetitio n in yo ur wo rk.

Comment 20

I'm no t sure this is co rrect. Yo u have just explained ho w impo rtant partnership wo rking is so it do esn't make sense to say that partnership wo rking inhibits the ro le o f a so cial wo rker.

ref -up to date-1

T his ref erence is o ld and may no t be relevant in current practice. Yo u must ensure that when yo u are discussing current issues that the ref erences are in co ntext with the discussio n.

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Comment 21

One o f the aims o f partnership wo rking is to speed up decisio n making pro cesses because they are shared and based o n pro f essio nal and expert o pinio ns. Yo u must validate yo ur claims with so und evidence.

avoid f irst, second....

Avo id the use o f f irst, seco nd, third and just write sentences witho ut them because they are unnecessary.

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Conc. T he f unctio n o f the essay's Co nclusio n is to restate the main argument and summarise the main po ints o f the essay. It reminds the reader o f the strengths o f the argument: that is, it reiterates the mo st impo rtant evidence suppo rting the argument. Make sure, ho wever, that yo ur co nclusio n is no t simply a repetitive summary as this reduces the impact o f the argument yo u have develo ped in yo ur essay.

T he co nclusio n pro vides a f o rum f o r yo u to persuasively and succinctly restate yo ur thesis given the reader has no w been presented with all the inf o rmatio n abo ut the to pic.

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T he co nclusio n sho uld match the intro ductio n in terms o f the ideas presented and the argument put f o rward. So metimes yo u will f ind that the pro cess o f writing has changed what yo u have argued and so it will be necessary to go back and rewo rd the intro ductio n. Finally, the co nclusio n is no t the place in yo ur essay to intro duce new inf o rmatio n o r new ideas: these sho uld be in the bo dy o f yo ur essay.

conc too brief

T he co nclusio n is very brief and do es no t summarize all the po ints in the main bo dy. Please see no tes to the lef t and in the side pane f o r guidance abo ut ho w to impro ve writing co nclusio ns.

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abbr - end text

Yo u must write o rganisatio ns in f ull in the end text ref erence list and yo u do no t need to abbreviate.

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  • Safe
    • by Rachael Fabelurin
  • Safe
    • ORIGINALITY REPORT
    • PRIMARY SOURCES
  • Safe
    • GRADEMARK REPORT
      • FINAL GRADE
      • GENERAL COMMENTS
        • Instructor