Romantic relationship experience

Communication

Competence Dr. Beatty

General Concept of Communication Concept

• Saying the right thing at the right time – Spitzberg • Not saying the wrong thing • Nonverbal awareness Example: reading partner’s behavior, emitting appropriate cues

Spitzberg summarized communication competence as being effective and

appropriate

Dimensions of Communication Competence

(Individual Differences)

• Effectiveness suggests “goals” (make eye contact, make a favorable impression, secure future contact)

• Social Knowledge (accurate model of human behavior, awareness of social norms, expectations)

• Perspective- Taking (natural ability or acquired) • Well developed knowledge structures (Beatty et al. study of Computational Theory of

Mind versus Dynamic Memory Theory)

• Composure versus Nervous • Internal focus of control versus external focus • Tolerance for Ambiguity versus Need for Closure or Certainty • Adaptability (spontaneity) • Effective Conversational Management (topic interest, talk-listening ratio, etc.)

Etiology (causes) of Individual Differences in

Communication Competence

• Genetic Inheritance (Beatty et al., 2001; Beatty et al., 2002) - Social anxiety about 80%

- Verbal Aggressiveness about 60%

- Interpersonal Affiliation about 70%

- Communicative Adaptability about 70%

Attachment Type (Bowlby)

Based on infant-mother relationship, secure vs. insecure types

• Secure type - In conversation, more open, more eye contact, more attentive, more composed, offer

and are more receptive to affection, displays more social knowledge, more

perspective taking and tolerance for ambiguity.

- In relationships, more satisfied, more committed, more trusting better able to recall positive experiences, maintains objective view of partner even after breakups.

Continued on next slide->

• Avoidant Type - Less helpful, less likely to seek help, less responsive to partners, less sensitive to partner’s subtle cues, less cooperative, more controlling, less eye contact, lower levels

of social knowledge, sensitive to rejection.

• Anxious- Avoidant - Idealize partners when things are going well, view partners more negatively after conflict or relationship disappointment, more self-focused, less trusting, more

dependent on partners, more sensitive to rejection, less composed, likely to push

relationship timeline, low tolerance for ambiguity, more jealous

Note:

• Rejection sensitivity is common to both avoidant and anxious- ambivalent types. Rejection sensitivity is associated with

depression after breakups, hostile and unsupportive of partner

when rejected, tend to infer rejection from ambiguous comments,

infer harmful intent to sensitive behavior, interpret partner’s lack

of enthusiasm or ambiguous messages as partner’s plan to leave

the relationship, more jealous and controlling (especially men),

relationships end sooner.

Birth Order

• First-borns - focus on achievement, adaptive, social knowledge, highly intelligent, experimental, independent, disciplined.

Central issue: What’s expected of me?

• Middle-borns - focus on identity, social, reactive interests, social knowledge, more friends.

Central issue: How can I be unique?

• Last born (babies) – Focus on attention, undisciplined, creative, less likely to follow social norms, more impulsive, in trouble most often.

Central issue: How can I get attention?

Continued on next slide ->

Note:

The impact of birth order depends on number of siblings, spacing

and gender. Furthermore, birth order has effects on relationship

quality – more about that later