Peanut Butter Memo Revision

WP1—Identifying Professional Writing Best Practices

RATIONALE

To prepare to write WP1 and introduce several professional writing best practices, let’s work together to identify things in Ric’s memo you plan to address when writing your own.

TASK

Leave at least one comment identifying something you plan to address, revise, or otherwise change based on Ric’s initial memo below. These could include

· Issues with Purpose (P)

· What is this memo’s purpose(s), and how could it better accomplish them?

· Keep in mind that documents have multiple purposes, but one of them is generally primary, and should control the document’s shape and function.

· Consider the scope of this document. What information does the audience need to know right now? What could be conveyed later, or in a different mode?

· How should this document best prioritize/arrange information for clarity?

· Issues with Audience (A)

· What are best practices for writing to an international and/or ELL (English Language Learning) audience? Consult SWW.

· Keep in mind Ric’s and your roles at PB. What can each of these roles reasonably discuss with the audience in this context?

· Issues with Tone (T)

· Is this writing striving for inclusivity among gender, race, level of ability, etc.?

· What level of formality would make this memo effective?

(Note that I’ve modeled annotating PAT for you below; you should annotate your own PAT on every WP you submit, which will help you think through how to write it.)

Peanut Butter, Inc.

222 W Merchandise Mart Plaza #1212

Chicago, IL 60654

getpeanutbutter.com

September 10, 2020

Kintaro Kaneda, CEO Comment by Jenny Ingersoll: A: Mr. K....

Kaneda International Investment Company

1-28-10 Ichiban-cho

Tokyo 160 Japan

Dear Kintaro-san:

PB is deeply honored and thrilled to welcome you! My name is Ric, and I can safely say that every man and woman in our office is grateful you’re visiting us. Comment by Jenny Ingersoll: T: Welcoming Comment by Jenny Ingersoll: P2: To establish a friendly rapport with Mr. K.

Here’s your itinerary so we’re on the same page: You’ll be leaving Tokyo on ANA 12 at 5:05 pm on the day before the meeting, 10/29/2020. When you arrive in Chicago at 2:50 pm (on the same day), you’ll recognize Michelle at Arrivals (look for the African American woman). She’s hearing-impaired, but is still perfectly capable of driving you to the Marriott Hotel. You may have heard there are numerous COVID-19 cases in the US, but we can assure you of the Marriott’s cleanliness and safety. We’ll reimburse you for anything extraneous at the airport, like the skycap—it’s on us. Although you may be tired from your flight, I’m confident you’ll want to join my colleagues for dinner that night at Cindy’s, which offers commanding views of the city (and is a rooftop restaurant for your safety!). I won’t be able to join you that evening since my wife will be out of town and she has me on daddy duty, but I’ll see you the next day at our offices. Comment by Jenny Ingersoll: P: To clearly communicate Mr. Kaneda's flights and itinerary.

Our people will meet you there Friday, where we’ll show you around the office and present a brief presentation on our illustrious company history. After, there will be a staff interview so you can share your wisdom with the team! Our C-suite will accompany you for a portion of your visit but you’re also free to check out the city cites on your own provided you adhere to face mask and social distancing laws.

To be frank, we’re excited at the prospect of building stronger business relationships with Peanut Butter’s Japan offices. We’re all hardworking businessmen (just like you folks are in Japan!) and your investment would help stabilize the growth of our humble little company and help it go multinational.

Anyway, I hope you’ll enjoy your stay until your departure on 11/1/2020 ANA 11 at 10:00 am and touchdown back in Japan at 2:20 pm. If there’s anything you’d like to do, we’re all ears! We’re looking forward to meeting with you soon.

With regards,

Richard Green