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REVISITING THE JOHARI W I N D O W :

Improving Communications Through Self-disclosure and Feedback

Terry R. Armslrong, Ph.D.

One of the most helptui tools for understanding interpersonalcommunications is the ""Jobari Window" ( rcated by JosephLuff and Harry Ingram, a psyehologisl and psyehialrist, respectively, who s|)ecialized in interpersonal i (innnunications In the 1950s. Tbey named their model the "Jobari Wind(w" after tbemselves. 1 have used tbe Johari mod<'l sinee the earlv 1970s to help clients who feel they are not heing understood or are having ditliculty communicating with others. In my profession. Organizational Development, most of my clients are organizations rather than individuals, but I have found tbe model helpful in one- on-one coaching, career planning for couples, group training, teani- hiiilding sessions and training professional consultants. I have lound it a very belpful communications aid when working with businesses, non-profits, government organizations and ehureh lead- ers. I believe that readers of HUMAN DEVtLoi'MKNr will find it help- tui in their work.

The model utilizes self-diselosure and feedha(k. Good eommu- ni( ation is the result of a good balance between selt-disclosure and l("edhack. The m(Klel has heen used by practitioners in most of the helping professions including: education. psych()logy, counseling, cliniral |)astoral educaiion and social work.

IO V O L U M E 27 N U M B E R TWO S U M M E R

Johari Window

Known by Self

Unknown by Self

Feedback •

Known by Others

o CL X

Unknown by Others

I Arena

III Facade

II Blindspot

1 IV 1 Unknown

THE MODEL

The "lohari" (•(unimmkaLion model says lliere are liaslciillv two things a [icrson can do to i[ii[M()vi' coni- iTUiriicatioii: usk (jiifslions <tr Irll inlornialinn. This makes sense. The Jiihari window is llieii dividei! into lour (juailrants or panrs.

\\\nv I is called ihe open area nr arena l*aiu' II is labeled ihe blind spot l*aiie 111 is considered the lacacle Pane IV is classiiied as ihe unknown

Pane I The open area is also often rclerretl to as the arena

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The lesson here: if you don't want to be blindsided, ask questions and take time

to hear the other person out.

hi'causr In ihisari'd liolli piulies know v\luit is going on. Vi-hiMi two parties see and understand lum iht-y are

lralirij^. wo sav thc_\ coninninlcatr well.

P a n e 11

TFie blind spot is the area where surprises occur. 'Hie only \va\ 1() decrease the area of the hiind spot is to ask fjiiestioiis. Asking (juestions and listeniriĵ f lo ulia! others lia\i- lo say can decrease the size ol your hIind spot.

P a n e III

The facade Is llie area we hiile troni others, h ]> what we know hut choose not to share. The only way another t;an know what we think or I eel for .'̂ nre is if we choose to tell lh<'ni.

P a n e IV

The u n k n o w n is that area of tlie relalioiiship thai neither party understands. .Al ihe personal level ihis is often known us the une()ns<ious. hul al ihe inlerper- sonal level it is simply referred to as the nnknowti.

Let us now look at each of the windows to under- stand how they alleet interpen-^onal ( ommunic atiori.

THE BLIND SPOT

When the hIind spot dominates the relationship, we are often surprised. Let me share a chent's slory to make the point of how ihe blind spot works and what you can do to decrease its area.

Once when visitinjj; a client ahout a husiness prohlem. I learned he was having marital prohleuis. "Sil down. Terry."" he said closing his offiee door. "Tve ^̂ ot something personal to tell you." "Must be impoi- latit. I've never seen you eiose your door hefore." He looked glum silling hehind liis large executive desk. '"Joyce left/" I asked, sensing ihe worst. "Yes. I was totall\ surprised. I tliought we had a wonderful marriajii'. I ti'll her eveiything." The muscular 23()-poun(l man was

crying. ''I jusl don't understand what happened."

The client had hecn completely hiindsided. What 1 now know, hut did not know then, was lliat he did not ask many questions. He had always told his wife every- thing and a s s u m e d she did the same. He never ques- tioned. He seldom asked.

Now when I share this slor\ al workshops lliere are always a few misty eyes. There are always a few who have heen hiindsided in personal or professional rela- tionships. They too thought they were ( ommunicatitig he( ause they kept nothing s<'< ret from iheir spouse or employees but laileil l<i ask enough questions.

'Hie lesson here: ii you don't want to he hiindsided, ask (|uestions and lake time to hear the other person out. Sometimes it takes a while hefore the other ean for- mulate an adequate answer. Ask the question and wail until the other (an answer. Il (an save you from a hor- rendous surprise. If my client had asked questions and listened to his wife's answers rather than jusl lold her ahoul his dreams, plans and what was going on in his life he would not have heen hiindsided. By not asking her questions he never learned whal was imp()rtanl lo her. liy taking actions without asking ahout her needs and concerns he was blituUidid when his wife left him.

THE FACADE

W hen the facade dominates our relationships, peo- ple see us as untnistworlhy and political. This is not surjirisiug if we realize that when we ask lots of ques- lions, hut do not share much ahout ourselves, others hegiu wondering what we are up t(». Not knowing our motives, ihev will question them. Suspieion will heirin to dominate. Let me sliare another story taken from my consulting practice.

I had a client who was tbe president of a multi-mil- lion dollar organization. He (ailed [ne in to work with him heeause he was having difficulty getting the orga- nization's niemhers to ae(̂ ept a restructuring plan. "I just don't understand." he said. "I've done it by the h(H)k.'" "Wliat do you mean.''" "Well. I have inclnded all the stakeholders. I ve met with most of the em[)loyees and asked for their advice., and I've ineluded all their ideas in the change process. But now it has het (inn' one hig political niess. People are fighting the restruc- turing throughout the organization. lt"s like I never included them iu the process." "It does sound strange. How alxnit 1 interview some of your employees and see if I (an figure out what's going on/"

I 2 V O L U M E 27 N U M B E R T W O S U M M E R Z O O S

Ho agreed moro out of friiĵ lrijlion thiin y i else. After inter\ii.'wino; a couple ddzcti of the employ- ees, I was surprise*] b\ how distru-^llul they were. Again and again I heard comments like: "I have no idea why he is doinji this." "Who docs he think he is trying to fool.''" "1 wouldn't trust that son-of-a-hitch as far as I can throw him." "Me never shares anything with us."

This was a elassieal (asc ol asking hnt Tiot telling. I simply told the client that his employees had no idea what his goals were and that they were liighly suspi- cious of his motives. Then I shared the model ol the "Johari Window" with him. The client got the idea and prepared a twenty-page report hacked up l)y market studies, linancial reports and tons ol statistics. Thus he explaine(i why the change was necessary, how he had gotten iiijiut from employees, and how he had laid oti) a possihie rcstrni tuning scenario lor the company using their input. He sent the rejjort to all the employees and asked that anyone who had questions come and see him. calk or e-mail. The plan was hrielly discussed and quickly accepted !)y everyone. He thought he had done enough hy asking lor their irqmt. Vi hat he had failed to do was tell.

THE UNKNOWN

WTien the unknown dominates the relationship, neither party knows what is going )̂n. It is pure confu- sion, ^ i t h (ouples. sometimes this situation leads to fighting; at other times, to painful silent e. 1 once had a client who was at a total stalemate with his business partner of twenty-two years. I inti^rviewed both of them and it was elear that neither knew what the other expected out of the partnership. Though they were hoth miserable in the current relationship and their company stock was in a massive downslide, they could not carry on a conversation without getting into a seri- ous argument that led to nothing hut frustration. Because neither party understood what was going on in the relationship 1 introduced them to a psychotherapist who helped them work through the mauy issues that had built up over years ol poor connnunication.

THE ARENA

WTicn the arena oi" open area is dominant, com- muni(ation Hows freely. An 80% opeii .lohari Window isn"t perfect, hut it certainly provides the basis lor goo(] communication. It is an ideal we should try to achieve.

ISN'T GOOD COMMUNICATION MORE THAN THIS?

(.ertainlv there is more to good communication than telling and asking. How we share and qui-stion also makes a difference. We all know people who can ask questions the way a thoughtful spiritual director would and others who seem like a police interrogator. Thi're are those who can tell us diffi( ult things in ear- ing ways and others who put us oil. [Vrlet ting your asking and telling skills takes praetit:e and feedback. You can (;heck on yourself often hy drawing a pieture of what you think your Johari Vtindow looks like, to yourself aud lo others. You (an then refle(t on it or get stru(lured feedback through instruments like those provided by Teleometrics International at bttp://inviv.tcif'(}m<'trivs.ci)m. We also Tiecd regularly to work on ways to improve how we ask atul tell. The model has paid off for me professionally as well as in my personal life. 1 suggest you try to open up your johari Windows with significant others, at work, at home and in your < onnnunities.

When my clients < an not alford the instrument?, 1 just have them draw their Johari Windows to help them discover how aware they are and provide them with some practice time in using the model.

FOR PRACTICE

Think of someone with whom you have a commu- nications problem, and till in tbe window lrames on the following page. You can make a Johari for yourself and the other. Try to be as accurate and honest as you can.

How might you he able to open np your window in order to improve communication'.''

How might you use the Johari window with the other?

Do you lee! yon need professional help, or is understanding the model enough?

What kind of help does the other need to open his or her window?

During communitatioii workshops I often find that the partii ipants windows are not very o[)en. I give the participants some help during the workshop, but if tbis docs not seem to be adequate. I advise them to get pro- fessional help when they return home. For some, just seeing the model is helpful. Others need to discuss ways to improve their eommunication. But tliere are some who, for whatever reason, need professional help when tfiey return home. If you feel you or your clients

www. regis. edu/hd HUMAN DEVELOPMENT I 3

Johari Window

Known by Self

Feedback

Unknown by Self

Known by Others

Unknown by Others

need help, please get it or help your elienls find the kind of help they need. Pliere are lew skills more inipoftant ihan effective eoiinnunication. Careers are important, marriages and families are important, as are the relationships in religious communities. \1an> of the

[tfohlerTis we find in oiu" critical relationships hoil down to inetlcctive (H)mmurucatioiis. We all know tfiat in some cases there are deep psychological or political prohleins that need to he addressed. However. I have lound that rTianv prohieins arise siuq)lv Itecause [Kxtpio do not krujw how to i_onnnuni(-ate effectivclv.

'Iliis well-used model does not seem to get old. Do not hesitate to use it he( aiise \ou leel your cheuts are already aware ol it or it S(.'ems too siiuple. As with the "Spiritual Exercises," i\w. joliari Window can l)c a \i'r) powerful tool.

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES

Lnil. ,1. (innij) I'rorcss: An Inlroduction lo (fiouj) DyiKimics. San IVancisco State University: Mayfieid I'uhlishing (Company. 1984.

Tel(X)rnetrics International has a riumher of psychometric inslnifTicnts that relate dirertiv to using the Johari Witulow lor i[U|)roving (communications between individuals and groups: l}tti)://ifinr.l('l('()m('trics.cnm.

Terry R. Armstrong is a Non-Resident Fellow of the Woodstock Theological Center, Georgetown University, and consults for vari- ous organizations on organizational change.

INTUITION CAN BE HURTFUL

Intuition seems to be central to our thinking processes. But we need to be careful to test out some of our intuitions. Most employers, for example, prefer to have interviews with prospective employees rather than to trust in more objective measures such as level of educa- tion and test scores. But the evidence of research is that the objective measures beat the personal interview hands down, according to Robyn Dawes, Ph.D., a psychologist at Carnegie Mellon University. According to Richard Nisbett, Ph.D., of the University of Michigan, no unstructured interview for any kind of position—graduate school, medical school, the military or professional jobs—has anything but a low validity for predicting the interviewee's future performance. But we cannot contain it. You meet someone and the feeling that you know who that person is after talking to them is just overwhelming. People also tend to believe that those close to them can intuit their feel- ings and hidden hints more than strangers can. But a study of married couples showed that this was not the case. Strangers did as well as spouses in interpreting hints, jokes, etc. Such a presumption of intuition on the part of a partner can cause problems of communica- tion in a marriage. It might be well to check out our presumptions about our own or others' intuition. Reported in Monitor on Psychology, March, 2005, pp. 58-60.

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