Response to Student Discussion Post

Ministry or Agency-based Context.

My role here is to ensure the safety, security and structure of a maternity home for homeless women. I have the opportunity to speak truth and life into the women. My care-seeker is Bruce who is grieving the sudden loss of his wife and daughter. Bruce is working through personal grief while trying to also tend to his two grieving sons. Clinton and Hawkins inform me that I should be especially aware of Bruce’s particular loss remembering that “sudden death can be more difficult to grieve because there is no warning and no chance to say good-bye and begin to prepare for the loss.” [1]

Guiding Purpose Statement

I am seeking to be a reflection of Christ, I am committed to become a bold helpmate. As I cooperate with the Word of God and the Holy Spirit to minister to Bruce, my personal “GPS” will serve as an encouragement to be focused on Bruce’s well-being. It is all about his healing. I am not bringing the healing, I am a mere help. Bruce’s hope comes strictly from the ultimate source, God. I just need to act in boldness to speak what the Lord wants me to speak and attentively listen when he wants me to listen. Kollar affirms my position when he states, “SFPC teaches that the counselee has all the resources he needs in God. The priority is to help the counselee get unstuck…” [2]

Rapport and Relational Alignment

One way I plan to build a good rapport with my care-seeker is first and foremost to listen to his pain. By exercising active listening, I am able to show Bruce that I truly care about his heart and I am not present to try and “fix” him. The preparatory tool I will utilize to keep me on track is Peterson’s “Talker-Listener Card.” [3] Our personality types might have a tendency to clash. Bruce is an “I” type, an influencer. I am an “S/C” type. Bruce’s behavioral position is willing. Not only is he willing to receive the help he needs, he is willing to go after it. Bruce is “motivated by praise and approval.” [4] I will need to shift the framing of my words to him. I can identify with Bruce in that, “People seem to feel you are not threatening, other than when they mess with your family or security.” [5] It’s good I can relate with his emotion but I will have to make a shift to be sure not to assume I know how he feels.

Phase One Distinctive Features

In Phase One, the purpose is to understand the present story. Here, I will gain insight on Bruce’s situation. The goal involves learning the problem. Our presentations are sure to explain, being focused-based does not mean ignoring the problem. To accomplish this, we must exercise active listening. We must also determine the counselee’s personality type to consider and apply any needed shifts.

Phase One Marker

The marker that indicates I am invited into Bruce’s story is the fact that Bruce is not too proud to receive help. He accepts support well from his friends, as well as legal help. Bruce wants to do whatever it takes to get his family back on track. Bruce sees his family as what Nichols’ describes, a “portrait in progress.” [6]

Food for Thought

The essential elements in pastoral care triage and referral all fall under the main goal of connecting the care-seeker to the best resource for healing that is available. We are encouraged to consider the individual’s culture and background in addition to their immediate needs when determining who might be the best fit. The three C’s; crisis, complexity and caution encourage the pastor to assess the individual’s situation and decide if he/she might need to expand the network of care. Not only should the pastor build rapport with the counselee, but also the community of mental health and care providers for the purpose of referrals. The pastor should remember referring doesn’t mean they are no longer in contact with the counselee, just that it would look different.

Jainah