Due Friday by 9 pm

“I”- Language vs. “You”- Language

The ‘I’ and ‘You’ language types are essential parts of communications especially in the resolution of conflicts between two parties. However, I tend to use the ‘I’ Language. The ‘I’ language is presumably the best language to use as it ensures that one takes the responsibility rather than blame the other party and ensures that one is completely in charge of their emotions (UW-Extension Conflict Education Team). The ‘you’ language places emphasis on the wrongdoing of the other parties in the conflict and is interpreted as blaming them for the wrong. The ‘I’ language is the advisable choice when there is a need for conflict resolution no matter who is to blame for the cause of the wrong that is being resolved.

The way I respond to conflict in order to find a solution that will appease all parties involved is to cut off emotional involvement and look for an appropriate time and place to air out the issues and be rational and calm during the resolution of the conflict. The ‘I’ language will be the most appropriate to use as it ensures that the situation is going to be the main focus and no one who is to blame. Using the ‘you’ language may also put others on the defensive side and cause arguments that are not useful which wastes time.

To improve the use of the ‘I’ language I would understand their feelings towards the conflict being resolved. Choosing the time when the conflict can be resolved also improves the ‘I’ language as it gives time to decide on how to handle the conflict. When communicating during resolution I would avoid using absolutes such as always and never as they make it seem like the choice is already made on how the conflict is going to be resolved.

When solving an important conflict with someone and to achieve a solution the following steps I would identify the conflict and ensure that there is enough information about it to aid in its resolution. I would view everyone’s point of view about the incident to avoid biased outcomes and give everyone a chance to give suggestions on how to resolve the conflict. One of the suggested solutions should be acceptable to all parties which will be the favorable choice to use. Once that is decided, the parties conflicting ought to come to an agreement and end the conflict with the suggestion given to them.

The best language to employ in any conflict being resolved is the ‘I’ language as it ensures that no one is to blame, therefore the focus is on the conflict itself. The ‘I’ language is very descriptive in any conversation, and it is widely recommended in order to improve communication between all parties. As much as the ‘I’ language is the best language to solve a conflict, everyone should be allowed to participate by contributing their suggestions. Resolving any conflict can be stressful so keeping emotions in check during the resolution guarantees a fast resolution process.

Reference UW-Extension Conflict Education Team. (n.d.). Understanding Conflict: Communication- Using 'I' statements. Support Material.