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FW: Essay draft
I have looked at your essay and scanned and attached a copy with the comments I have made for you.
You have made a good start and you have provided some relevant and interesting points, however, there is a heavy focus on learning outcome 4 and not as much on any of the others (although there is some) and these need expanding if you are going to meet them adequately. I have also attached the essay guidance I gave to you; this outlines very clearly what is required to meet each learning outcome adequately so please follow this and you won’t go far wrong.
You must remember each learning outcome when you are writing and a way to do this is by copying and pasting them to the top of your work (make sure you delete them before you submit though!!) or have them in sight when you are writing and keep referring back to them, that way they are always in your mind and you are more likely to write about them.
1 Critically analyse the concepts of safeguarding children and child abuse in the context of your professional role Need a lot more for this learning outcome
2 Analyse and critically evaluate indicators and signs of child abuse and the impact of child abuse on children Need a lot more for this learning outcome
3 Apply and critically evaluate the policies that underpin your role in the recognition of and response to child abuse Use research, policies and legislation as references to back up your points and this will help to meet this learning outcome
4 Critically analyse the factors that inhibit and assist partnership working when safeguarding children, suggesting how safeguarding practice may be enhanced you have focused too much on this learning outcome; I have made notes in your essay attached to guide you.
People often get panicky when we talk about critical analysis but it can be simplified by thinking about it like you are having a discussion about different points of view and then writing about them but using the research to highlight the points because it is highly likely it has been written about already. There are very few references in your work and that is a shame because I can see you have done quite a lot of reading and there is evidence of some critical analysis, however, without references it is not clear if these are your own opinions or if you have in fact read around the topics. I have attached a PowerPoint presentation and a workbook about referencing for you to complete, I think this will help you. In addition, I would be happy to meet you for a tutorial to help you with your referencing skills and also to discuss your essay draft, please let me know if this is required.