curriculum survey project

Survey construction shows serious concern for good teaching practices

Areas of concern:

· You put emphasis on re-teaching (most likely when assessments reveal that students have not mastered a topic). This is an important topic regarding instruction that teachers might need to address at times. But that is not the same as the assignment instructions to analyze the curriculum and recommend changes to make the curriculum better in the future.

· Are you sure non-educators could understand your questions and answer appropriately? Or did you not ask all the questions to every group? If you only asked certain questions to certain groups, what was your rationale?

· Chart of 1st question uses 2 terms that were not part of the question and are not explained in the write-up

· Second chart  has "% of parents" in a cell that should have a % figure

· 10 questions in survey, but only 3 reports and charts for analysis

· "The federal and state government should not hire or employ    teachers on the basis of qualification."  ==> You must mean "not hire only on the basis of being qualified on paper" or some such wording

· Recommendations don't fully match survey questions (for instance, in regard to re-teaching).

Writing:

· Intro paragraph could be expressed in much simpler terms to make it more readable

· Subheadings in the paper should be distinguished with formatting (bold, underline, or such)

· Concluding paragraph sometimes uses phrasing that is lofty but not clear:

· " occupies a position among the industrialists of its constellation "

· " interdependence in the world, which is less compassionate than yesteryear, tends to deprive its sovereignty and exposure to more terror attacks "

I really want to help you, so here are some further feedback comments......

· You must read the instructions carefully for each forum and assignment. For this assignment, you were instructed to do a survey about the current curriculum (not instruction), analyze the survey, then make recommendations for future improvement.

· Your paper contained a survey of questions, but not all participants got all the questions. That's not necessarily an incorrect procedure, but you should explain your motives for doing it.

· Your analysis and charting did not cover all the survey questions.

· Your recommendations were to convene committees to solve the problems, rather than to give the school YOUR recommendations for how to solve the problems.  

· Your writing was better in terms of spelling and grammar this time. But your word choices and general phrasing  were very weak.

· You still often choose the wrong word for a concept or opinion you are discussing.

· You write paragraphs that try to paint a "big picture" or a lofty ideal, but the phrasing and choice of words end up causing confusion and lack of meaning in your writing. You need to simplify your wording but stay professional in tone.  

· It's not a matter of pleasing me, as if I have quirks that you have to accommodate. It's a matter of following instructions and writing clear thoughts.

· Look at what I wrote on this page, and look at my feedback on your assignments. Do you see how I  mostly used simple phrases and used precise words to describe my ideas, and kept a professional tone? That's what you need to strive for.

· Ask someone to read your work before you turn it in. Get honest feedback. If the person tells you something doesn't make sense, make changes by finding a more correct term or simplifying your sentences.