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reflectrelate5e_lectureppt_ch11.pptxChapter 11
Relationships with Romantic Partners
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Defining Romantic Relationships
We experience different types of love.
Liking and Loving
Liking: Feeling of affection and respect that we typically have for our friends
Loving: Deeper and more intense emotional experience consisting of intimacy, caring, and attachment
Different Types of Romantic Love (1 of 3)
Passionate love: A state of intense emotional
and physical longing for union with another
Breeds excessively idealistic thinking
All cultures feel passionate love
No gender or age differences exist
Integrally linked with sexual desire
Negatively related to relationship duration
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Different Types of Romantic Love (2 of 3)
Companionate love: An intense form of liking defined by emotional investment and deeply intertwined lives
Common in long-term relationships
Different Types of Romantic Love (3 of 3)
Six other types of romantic love
Storge: Friendly lovers
Agape: Forgiving lovers
Mania: Obsessive lovers
Pragma: Practical lovers
Ludus: Game-playing lovers
Eros: Romantic lovers
Key Elements of Romantic Relationships (1 of 2)
Romantic relationship: A chosen interpersonal involvement in which the participants perceive the bond as romantic
Key Elements of Romantic Relationships (2 of 2)
Perception
Diversity
Choice
Commitment
Tensions
Must manage relational dialectics
Communication
Proximity
Mere exposure effect: Idea that you become more attracted to those you have frequent contact with
Physical Attractiveness
Beautiful-is-good effect: Beautiful people are seen as competent, intelligent, and well adjusted.
Matching: We tend to form long-term relationships with people who are similar to us in physical attractiveness.
Similarity
We’re attracted to those we perceive as similar to ourselves.
Known as the birds-of-a-feather effect
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Reciprocal Liking
Reciprocal liking: Potent predictor of attraction
We tend to be attracted to people who are attracted to us.
Resources
Social exchange theory: We’re drawn to those offering benefits with few associated costs.
Equity: Balance of benefits and costs exchanged by you and the other person
Inequity: One person is overbenefited or underbenefited.
Technology and Romantic Attraction
Despite its convenience, technology evokes tensions when it comes to dating.
Online self-presentations can be false.
Your partner will discover the truth.
We strive to accentuate attractive attributes and ask a friend to assess.
Relationship Development and Deterioration
All romantic relationships undergo stages marked by distinctive patterns in partners’ communication, thoughts, and feelings.
Coming Together
Stages of coming together
Initiating
Experimenting
Intensifying
Integrating
Bonding
Coming Apart
Stages of coming apart
Differentiating
Circumscribing
Stagnating
Avoiding
Terminating
Maintaining Romantic Relationships
We can harness our communication skills and invest the effort necessary to maintain our love.
Maintenance Strategies (1 of 3)
Relational maintenance: Using communication and supportive behaviors to sustain a relationship
Maintenance Strategies (2 of 3)
Seven relational maintenance strategies
Positivity
The most important maintenance tactic
Assurances
Supportive messages about relationship
Sharing tasks
Most frequently practiced
Maintenance Strategies (3 of 3)
Relational maintenance strategies
Acceptance
Self-disclosure
Relationship talks
Social networks
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Maintaining Romance across Distance
Long-distance romantic relationships have been found to be more satisfying and stable.
Three suggestions
Use technology to communicate.
Focus on positivity and assurances.
Avoid idealistic expectations about eventual reunion.
Deciding Whether to Maintain
Four factors predict the survival of a relationship.
Degree to which a couple feels “in love”
Equity
Similarity
Network support
The Dark Side of Romantic Relationships
Betrayal
Jealousy
Intrusion
Violence
Betrayal
Romantic betrayal goes against relationship expectations, causing a partner pain.
Sexual infidelity and deception trigger a sense of relational devaluation and loss.
No simple solution or skill set exists.
Jealousy
Jealousy: A protective reaction to a perceived threat to a valued relationship
Self-reliance is the most effective way to deal with jealousy.
Wedging: Using online communication to try to insert oneself between two romantic partners
Relational Intrusion
Relational intrusion: Violation of one’s privacy by a person who desires a relationship
Monitoring and controlling
Invasion of privacy
Post-relationship intrusion can turn into stalking
Dating Violence
Dating violence affects millions and knows no demographic boundaries.
Victims need a safety plan.
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