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Running head: SEXUALITY 1

SEXUALITY 2

Reflection on sexuality

Student’s Name:

Date:

1. How do this week’s texts challenges, confuse, confirm, and expand your previous understandings of sexual education, bodily autonomy, sexual agency?

Sexuality is more of someone's sexual feelings, attraction, thoughts, and behaviours towards other people. You can find people sexually, emotionally, or sexually attractive, and all these are part of sexuality. According to Peggy Orenstein, sexuality is personal and diverse, and it is a crucial part of human life. One discovering his or her sexuality can be very exciting, liberating, and bring positive experience. Latoya Snell states that sexual consent is a willing agreement by both parties to have sex. There is always a common perception that sexual consent is only given by women whereas it must come from both the men and women. Some people may be discriminated against because of their sexuality. In this kind of situation, the offended person should understand that people are different in their ways and find another person to talk to about the issue. Relationship partners knowing each other better eliminates fear and results in sex to the fullest. Sex should never be forced on anyone as it would lead to irritation rather than pleasure.

2. Who did you talk to, what was your conversation like for you, and what did you learn from the experience that relates to this class?

The research I had on sexuality entailed talking to relationship counselors and some couples. They shared a lot from their personal and life experiences. In Audre Lorde’s essay, she discusses the cost of the erotic detachment as a source of power and the major effect its loss has on women’s life. She describes the erotic as a resource in people lying in a deeply spiritual and female plane, firmly rooted in their unexpressed feeling. In avoiding change, the oppressive systems must corrupt people's connection with the erotic. She firmly clarifies that distancing ourselves from erotic power is not self-discipline, but self-abnegation should be admired rather than avoided. Corinna’s proposal tells the story of a stereotypical virginity loss. A boy and a girl are in a relationship, and they become sexually attracted to each other. The boy is clear of his intention of having sex with the girl. The girl decides when an appropriate time comes; she would be ready; they lose their virginities together. It would be described as a good time for her because she was prepared and not forced; the boy was nice as he waited for her readiness. Sexual consent is depicted in their story. Consent helps prepare for sex, thus making it more pleasurable as both the man and woman will be freely enjoying the act.

3. What was this experience of self-reflection like for you? What did you learn from it that relates to this class?

Self –reflection offers one a chance to look at issues personally and come up with ways of solving them better. Sexual pleasure is well achieved when both a man and woman are prepared both physiologically and mentally. First-time sex may not be good as both parties may have some fears thus not experiencing sexual pleasure. As it is done more, they get to know what about their likes, find things that make the other person feel good, become more confident, and get better. In an ideal world, everything is expected to be good which not the case in the real world is. In my view, women should also feel that they can get sexual pleasure even for the first time, and they can initiate sex, but them expecting it, maybe not. Mostly sexual pleasure is attributed to men which is not the case. I think relationship partners should not use sex as a weapon of settling other scores by deliberately denying the other partner. Women too get to feel the sexual pleasure. Sex is essential in a romantic relationship as it helps in creating a strong bond between the partners.

References

WC: “Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power” by Audre Lorde (205–209)

WC: “An Immodest Proposal” by Heather Corinna (210–214)

“What Young Women Believe about Their Own Sexual Pleasure (Links to an external site.)” by Peggy Orenstein (17:01)

“Required Reading: 10 Things You Need to Know about Consent (Links to an external site.)” by Latoya Snell

“Teaching Consent from an Early Age . . . (Links to an external site.)” (2:17)

“Nadia Bolz Weber on ‘Purity Culture’ and Owning Your Sexuality (Links to an external site.)” (3:34)

“How the Dutch Do Sex Ed (Links to an external site.)” by Bonnie Rough (Rough PDF)