Assignment one

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Personal and Collective Transitions along the Scholar-Practitioner Journey:

Challenges to sustain balance as a whole person while meeting the substantive investment in simultaneous careers and maintaining family togetherness and stability

Kimberley Barker Benedictine University

Abstract

Let’s face it, being a full-time scholar-practitioner,

working mother, college lecturer, and PhD student,

all while maintaining some semblance of family

life can make a person feel very fragmented. The

following phenomenological account contains

practical advice from lessons learned along the way.

The tips included are for any working mother or

parent who is considering a return to or is in school

presently so one can accomplish their goals, be

focused, live consciously, feel more alive than ever,

and still be sane at the end of the day!

Keywords: scholar-practitioner, balance,

simultaneous careers, goals, challenges, family

togetherness

_______________

Kimberley Barker has more than 24 years of management experience in operations and customer service. She has worked as a manager in the University of Michigan Health System

for 14 years, and also teaches management, organization development, business research & communication and innovation at Cleary University in Ann Arbor, MI. Barker has a Bachelor of Science degree in Business Administration and an MBA from Hawai’i Pacific University in Honolulu, HI. She is currently a Doctoral Candidate in Organizational Development at Benedictine University. She can be reached at [email protected].

Contact Information: Kimberley Barker PhD Candidate, Benedictine University 2892 Barclay Way Ann Arbor, MI 48105 USA

Email: [email protected]

Organization Development Journal l Fall 201410

speedy completion may sometimes work,

but steady, consistent strides will often

accomplish more in the long run.

2. Prioritize, prioritize – I am constantly

making to do lists and revising them.

Sometimes, when I feel overwhelmed, I just

pick one thing on the list and when that is

finished, I feel much better. When I focus

on that one task, it helps to reduce stress.

Many of us have probably heard: “Plan

your work and work your plan.” I try to hold

to this advice. However, I always allow for

interruptions and exciting developments

along the way because, of course, they do

come. Organization is the key to getting

things done and I continue to hone my

organization skills.

Another thing I needed to learn when

prioritizing is to lean into discomfort much

earlier. I have always been comfortable

leaving the items I am least comfortable

with at the bottom of the list. I have read

several of the books by Judith Katz and

Frederick Miller, who are the principals

of the Kaleel Jamison Consulting Group,

Inc. In their book “Opening Doors to

Teamwork & Collaboration: 4 Keys that

Change Everything,” they talk about taking

risks and speaking up. They talk about how

everything new feels uncomfortable and

awkward at first, which is why discomfort

is a prerequisite for learning, growth and

Let’s face it, a full-time career, attending school

full-time, teaching a college class, and maintaining

some semblance of family life can make a person

feel very fragmented. Early in the fourth decade of

my life, I decided that pursuing my doctoral studies

was something I really wanted to accomplish. After

some discussion, my husband and I agreed that it

was something I should do. My family (husband,

self, and three teenage children) had a meeting, and

agreed upon and thought we understood what mom

going back to school would entail. It still brought us

some unanticipated challenges. Another component

to this situation was that I had been out of school for

almost twenty years. Fortunately, I have a loving,

supportive family that encouraged me to pursue my

goals despite the inconvenience.

Here is some practical advice about being a full-

time scholar-practitioner, working mother, college

lecturer, and PhD student from the lessons learned

along the way:

1. A steady pace wins the race! We all know

the story of “The Tortoise and the Hare.” We

know how the hare started out fast, then lost

steam with many distractions along the way.

Then, there’s the tortoise, who “steadily

but surely” stayed focused and, in the end,

finished ahead of the hare.

A previous supervisor said to us almost

daily: “A steady pace wins the race!” and

“It isn’t the fast that always finishes first.”

This really resonated with me. I remind the

students I teach and my own children that

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and openness in communication. Women

today are in a unique position to achieve

not only organizational, but societal change

in a positive way (Waclawski, Church and

Burke, 1995).

4. Hope for the best, but plan for the worst

– We did not plan for football injuries for

our oldest son (broken wrist, torn ACL’s,

sprained ankles, etc.), our daughter to

suffer bouts of intense anxiety when she

became stressed or overwhelmed as she

entered high school, or our youngest son to

be diagnosed with an inflammatory bowel

disease. As the high tides kept rolling in,

I asked my husband if I should drop out

of my PhD program. I contemplated this

notion about five times during the first two

years of my studies. In his infinite wisdom,

my husband discouraged me from doing

so. He is very levelheaded and said that

my PhD program or work wasn’t causing

these issues and that we would find a way

to work things out. There were also a

couple of times when the mountain of my

studies seemed insurmountable. Again,

I had to make that decision to really push

through and work harder than ever to make

it happen. In Samoan culture, true change

and transformation occur as the waves break

on the shore. I truly believe this.

I have witnessed this phenomenon in

many of my student’s lives as well. They

change. Discomfort does not always mean

to stop and run for cover (or put it at the

bottom of the list). Discomfort can alert us

to opportunities for learning, growth, and

change and should be embraced as much as

possible (Miller and Katz, 2013).

3. Don’t be afraid to delegate – Another

previous supervisor frequently said,

“Delegate ‘til they puke!” When I first

heard it, I was offended, but it has stuck

in my mind over the years and I always

try to delegate when I can. Entrusting

responsibility to others is something women

tend to struggle with, so this is one reason I

have really worked on this skill. Women can

be viewed as “queen bees” when they appear

driven and often have to justify delegating.

This should not be the case. In the book

“Lean In,” Sheryl Sandberg talks about the

stereotypes that still plague women to this

day. Women can still come across as nice and

concerned for others when asking for help.

One of Sheryl’s favorite sayings (especially

when negotiating) to women is to, “think

personally and act communally” (Sandberg,

2013). According to a recent survey of

women in organization development, the

top values we would like to emerge today

are not only business related, but also

the traditional humanistic values often

associated with Organization Development,

which are empowerment, participation

Barker

Organization Development Journal l Fall 201412

and a bout of the flu for me as well!

Sometimes all this change can leave

you feeling vulnerable. Vulnerability is the

core of all human emotions and feelings.

It’s not good or bad. It is not weakness.

Vulnerability is the birthplace of love,

belonging, joy, courage, and creativity. It is

the source of hope, empathy, accountability,

and authenticity. Brené Brown says, “If we

want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper

or more meaningful spiritual lives, then

vulnerability is the path. If we let ourselves

sink into joyful moments of our lives, if we

learn how to truly engage our emotions, that

is vulnerability” (Brown, 2012).

5. Have a support team – I am so grateful

that my husband did not recommend that

I drop out of my PhD program when we

were facing tough times. He is a wonderful

support for me and always has been. He is

my best friend and biggest fan. I also have

my best friends and family that are just a

phone call away for anything I need. I have

one friend who always calls me at just the

right time and says let’s go for a walk. We

walk around the block and figure out the

answers to life’s tough questions and discuss

my research questions and ideas, which

always seems clearer afterwards. I have

another friend who will call and say she is

coming over with a bottle of wine. After a

couple of hours on the porch swing or living

decide they are going to complete their studies

and all of a sudden there are sicknesses to

deal with, hospital stays, separations, etc. It

is as if there is a universal “test” to see if one

really wants what they are striving for. It is

important to stay the course with your goals

and dreams. Of course, all while having the

sense to know what is best for both you and

your family at that time.

To quote John Lennon: “Life is what

happens to you while you are busy making

other plans.” Change and transition can be

difficult. While you long for something

new, the old is comfortable and sometimes

letting go is harder than one would think

it should be. Then, you have the neutral

zone, where you are bridging the old and the

new. This phase can accompany a higher

workload as you adjust to new things, but

can also give a sense of creativity and a new

way of working. Lastly, you are headed for

the new beginning where you are starting

to see the wins from your efforts. While

you still have to be sensitive to the process

of change, things come much easier at this

point (Bridges, 2004).

Life will continue to surprise, so plan

on it and manage appropriately. I recently

attended a conference, which included me

giving a presentation, along with a family

trip, which celebrated our anniversary and

our son’s senior trip, along with a friend,

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yourself why you are working so hard by

spending time with those you love, both

individually and collectively.

8. It’s okay if your family eats McDonald’s

one night a week – and pizza another night,

Chinese food one night, Mexican food

another night and Middle Eastern food the

next night. That’s five nights taken care

of, now, you can cook the last two! Just

remember, try to have a fruit or vegetable

and milk with each dinner and it should be a

balanced diet.

9. Make sure you enjoy the journey - no matter

how difficult it can be. You are going

to work harder than you ever imagined.

However, anything worth pursuing takes

work, so acknowledge it and then enjoy it.

Many years ago, when I was working on my

Master’s degree (again, working full-time

and attending school full-time, married, just

no kids yet), an interesting thing happened.

I had to quit doing my homework at 3 a.m.

because I had to get some sleep before work

the next morning. I contemplated calling

in sick that day, but quickly decided that I

could not do that. I would worry all day

because I know someone else is working

harder because of it. I decided I would do

my best to work on my homework during

my lunch and then face the consequences.

I arrived at work that morning and started

my workday. At 10 a.m. there was a power

room couch (depending on the weather),

this helps give perspective to many of life’s

opportunities. I have a friend who regularly

brings in food for lunch at work and another

who holds me accountable to attend yoga

class. I am grateful to have many wonderful

friends and I am blessed to have people in

my life that I can call on if I need anything.

Although I am careful not to abuse that

privilege, it gives me so much assurance as I

go through my daily life.

6. Take care of yourself – Make sure you

laugh every day! This quote from Emerson

embodies how I feel about self-care:

“To laugh often and love much; to

win the respect of intelligent persons

and the affection of children; to earn

the approbation of honest citizens and

endure the betrayal of false friends; to

appreciate beauty; to find the best in

others; to give of one’s self; to leave the

world a bit better, whether by a healthy

child, a garden patch or a redeemed

social condition; to have played and

laughed with enthusiasm and sung

with exultation; to know even one

life has breathed easier because you

have lived—this is to have succeeded”

(Stanley, n.d.).

7. Try to spend time with each family member

weekly – You are bettering yourself so you

can bring more to your family, so remind

Barker

Organization Development Journal l Fall 201414

outage over the majority of the island. I was

able to leave work, go home, complete my

entire assignment and by the time the power

came back on at 3 p.m. I was good to go!

I have always felt like that power outage

happened just for me, even though I could

never be that silly to think that could be

the case. I have told my children this story

countless times and they know the morale

of the story. That is, when you do the right

things or take the right actions, you are

rewarded, not always in ways you can ever

imagine! Recognizing these surprises you

get along the way is a big part of enjoying

the journey.

10. Never lose sight of your goal! Keep working

like no one else, so you can attain your goal.

Do what you need to do to make your goals

a reality. When my students come to me

about a boss who is not supportive of their

goals or is giving them a hard time, I tell

them to work hard to establish a relationship

and make it work with that boss. After that,

I tell them, if that does not change things,

then leave the relationship/boss and find

another way to meet their goal. As Jack and

Suzy Welch share in their book, Winning,

“Bosses know that the work-life policies

in the company brochure are mainly for

recruiting purposes, and that real work-life

arrangements are negotiated one-on-one in

the context of a supportive culture” (Welch,

2005). Although you want your boss to be

a part of your support team, the only thing

your boss worries about is getting the job

done and being competitive. So, continue

to show your boss how you can benefit him

or her, while accomplishing your goals and

never lose sight of your goal!

11. Sometimes all you need is “One Good Idea”

(Seashore, 2006). I strongly recommend this

article by Edith Seashore in the OD Network

Publication called OD Seasonings. Edith

Seashore, a sage in the field of Organization

Development, talks about the importance of

listening. When working with a client, she

learned from Douglas McGregor, one of her

mentors, to listen, listen, and listen and then

come up with one good idea that will impact

their organization and their lives. Edith

Seashore shares example after example of

how this worked for her from consulting

with the U.S. military to the boardroom. So,

take the pressure off yourself and listen…

And then come up with just one good

idea. It could be the one thing that changes

everything!

12. Make sure you have High Quality

Connections. I have one last bit of advice

and that is that you make sure your

connections in life are high quality. This is a

lesson for everyone. When you are strapped

with some sort of work to do (almost) every

minute of the day, you don’t have time for

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doing, we would literally astound ourselves.”

– Thomas Edison

~~~~~~~~~~

the dramatic. Everyday life can be exciting

enough! People who have high quality

connections in their lives are more likely

to feel positive arousal and a heightened

sense of energy (Dutton and Heaphy, 2005).

Our psychological states influence not only

ourselves, but also those around us. We are

relational beings (Emirbayer, 1997). We

weave our relationships by the stories we

tell and act out with each other. When those

relationships are high quality and have a

positive influence, we can experience a

psychological state called Lift. Lift is when

a person is purpose-centered, internally

directed, other-focused and externally open

(Quinn and Quinn, 2009).

I have worked every day the last two years (yes,

even on holidays), yet people have commented

that I look happier than ever. It is because I am

focused, living consciously, and feel more alive

than ever! The Scholar-Practitioner journey is the

only way I choose to go. It can be so inspirational

turning scholarship into practice and vise versa. I

am grateful to my wonderful family and friends, my

PhD program and all of the women who have paved

the way before me so I could be on this journey.

I have the following quotes hanging at my desk

that are meaningful to me:

“The important thing is this: To be able at any

moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could

become.” – Charles Du Bos

“If we all did the things we are really capable of

Organization Development Journal l Fall 201416

References

Bridges, William. (2004). Transitions: Making

Sense of Life’s Changes, Cambridge, MA. Da

Capo Press.

Brown, Brené. (2012). Daring Greatly: How the

Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way

We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. Gotham

BooksNew York, New York. Gotham Books.

Dutton, Jane E. and Heaphy, Emily D. (2005). The

Power of High Quality Connections. (Chapter

17). www.webuser.bus.umich.edu.

M. Emirbayer (1997). “Manifesto for a Relational

Sociology,” American Journal of Sociology,

103(2): 281-317.

Miller, Frederick A. & Katz, Judith H. (2013).

Opening Doors to Teamwork & Collaboration. 4

Keys That Change Everything, Barrett-Koehler

Publishers, Inc., San Francisco, CA.

Quinn, Dr. Ryan W. and Quinn, Robert E. (2009).

Lift – Becoming a Positive Force in Any

Situation, Barrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc., San

Francisco, CA.

Sandberg, Sheryl. (2013). Lean In: Women, Work

and the Will to Lead. Alfred A. Knopf, a division

of Random House, Inc. New York, New York.

Seashore, Edith Whitfield. (2006). Just

One Good Idea. http://www.odnetwork.

org/?page=Sample_1_Seasonings.

Stanley, Bessie Anderson. (n.d.) www.goodreads.

com./work/quotes/10928238.

Waclawski, Janine, Church, Allan and Burke,

W. Warner (1995). Women in Organization

Development. Journal of Organizational

Change Management.

Welch, Jack with Suzy Welch. (2005). Winning.

New York, New York. Harper Collins Books.

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