annotated bibliography

Raising Children With High Self-Esteem (But Not Narcissism)

Eddie Brummelman, 1

and Constantine Sedikides 2

1University of Amsterdam and 2University of Southampton

ABSTRACT—With the rise of individualism since the 1960s,

Western parents have become increasingly concerned with

raising their children’s self-esteem. This is understandable,

given the benefits of self-esteem for children’s psychologi-

cal health. However, parents’ well-intentioned attempts to

raise self-esteem, such as through inflated praise, may

inadvertently breed narcissism. How can parents raise

self-esteem without breeding narcissism? In this article,

we propose a tripartite model of self-regard, which holds

that the development of self-esteem without narcissism

can be cultivated through realistic feedback (rather than

inflated praise), a focus on growth (rather than on outper-

forming others), and unconditional regard (rather than

regard that is conditional). We review evidence in support

of these practices and outline promising directions for

research. Our model integrates existing research, stimu-

lates the development of theory, and identifies leverage

points for intervention to raise self-esteem and curtail nar-

cissism from a young age.

KEYWORDS—narcissism; self-esteem; development; social-

ization

In the late 20th century, with the rise of individualism, self-es-

teem became a touchstone of Western parenting. Most Western

parents believe that children need self-esteem to achieve suc-

cess and happiness in life, and that parents play a crucial role

in building their children’s self-esteem (Miller & Cho, 2018).

Although parents are right that self-esteem is important (Orth &

Robins, 2014), their ideas about how to instill it may be mis-

guided. In particular, parents’ well-intentioned attempts to raise

self-esteem, such as lavishing children with praise, may inadver-

tently cultivate narcissism (Brummelman, Thomaes, & Sedi-

kides, 2016). Narcissism is a subclinical personality trait that

predicts considerable maladjustment in children, ranging from

anxiety and depression to rage and aggression (Thomaes &

Brummelman, 2016). In 4%–15% of children, narcissism devel- ops into Narcissistic Personality Disorder (Bernstein et al.,

1993).

How can parents raise children’s self-esteem without breeding

narcissism? Building on a burgeoning literature, we propose a

tripartite model, which holds that self-esteem without narcissism

is cultivated through realistic feedback, a focus on growth, and

unconditional regard. We review evidence in support of this

model and discuss implications.

PILLARS OF NARCISSISM AND SELF-ESTEEM

Self-esteem is defined as a sense of one’s worth as a person

(Orth & Robins, 2014), whereas narcissism is defined as an

inflated sense of one’s importance and deservingness (Krizan &

Herlache, 2018). From childhood, narcissism can manifest as

grandiose (characterized by boldness, extraversion, and boastful-

ness) or vulnerable (characterized by neuroticism, shyness, and

withdrawal; Derry, Ohan, & Bayliss, 2019). Here, we focus on

grandiose narcissism.

Eddie Brummelman, Research Institute of Child Development and Education, University of Amsterdam, The Netherlands; Constan- tine Sedikides, Center for Research on Self and Identity, Psychology Department, University of Southampton, Southampton, United Kingdom.

We thank Peggy Miller for encouraging us to situate narcissism and self-esteem in a sociocultural context.

Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to Eddie Brummelman, Research Institute of Child Development and Education, University of Amsterdam, P.O. Box 15780, 1001 NG Amsterdam, The Netherlands; e-mail: [email protected].

© 2020 The Authors

Child Development Perspectives published by Wiley Periodicals LLC on behalf of Society

for Research in Child Development

This is an open access article under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution

License, which permits use, distribution and reproduction in any medium, provided the

original work is properly cited.

DOI: 10.1111/cdep.12362

Volume 14, Number 2, 2020, Pages 83–89

CHILD DEVELOPMENT PERSPECTIVES

A common belief is that narcissism is simply an extreme form

of self-esteem. Psychologists have characterized narcissism as

inflated, exaggerated, or excessive self-esteem, or even as “the

dark side of high self-esteem” (Baumeister, Smart, & Boden,

1996, p. 5). These labels suggest that self-esteem represents a

continuum, with narcissism at its end. If this is so, narcissism

and self-esteem should correlate highly and there should be no

narcissists with low self-esteem. However, narcissism and self-

esteem are only weakly positively correlated, and about as many

narcissists have high self-esteem as low self-esteem (Brummel-

man et al., 2016). Thus, narcissism and self-esteem are indepen-

dent dimensions of the self.

How do narcissism and self-esteem differ? Researchers have

begun to identify differences in terms of underlying components

and the socialization experiences that give rise to them (Brum-

melman et al., 2016; Donnellan, Trzesniewski, Robins, Moffitt,

& Caspi, 2005; Hyatt et al., 2018; Tracy, Cheng, Robins, &

Trzesniewski, 2009). Here, we propose the first developmental

model that integrates these findings. The model describes the

distinct components, or pillars, that underlie narcissism and

self-esteem, and identifies the socialization practices that culti-

vate the development of these pillars. Our model seeks to

explain how narcissism and self-esteem differ in their underly-

ing components and socialization so it can address how parents

can raise self-esteem without breeding narcissism.

We theorize that narcissism and self-esteem are each based

on three distinct pillars (see Figure 1). In particular, we theorize

that narcissistic children have unrealistically positive views of

themselves (illusion), strive for superiority (superiority), and

oscillate between hubris and shame (fragility). By contrast, chil-

dren with high self-esteem have positive but realistic views of

themselves (realism), strive for self-improvement (growth), and

feel intrinsically worthy, even in the face of setbacks (robust-

ness). Our model describes general patterns rather than univer-

sal laws. For example, most children with high self-esteem

strive for self-improvement, but some do not (Waschull & Ker-

nis, 1996).

Realism

Narcissistic children hold exalted views of themselves. An 11-

year-old narcissistic boy “unhesitatingly shared his certainty of

becoming president of the United States as soon as he graduated

from college with degrees in nuclear physics and brain surgery”

(Bleiberg, 1984, p. 508). Narcissistic children uphold such

views, even in the face of disconfirming evidence. For example,

after failing to complete challenging puzzles, narcissistic chil-

dren still believe that they performed extraordinarily well (Derry

et al., 2019). Such grandiose self-views persist into adulthood.

Adult narcissists see themselves as geniuses, even if their IQ

scores are average; they think they are superb leaders, even if

they disrupt group performance; and they believe they are

attractive, even if others disagree (Grijalva & Zhang, 2016). By

contrast, children with high self-esteem have positive self-views,

but those views tend to be more grounded in reality. For exam-

ple, they do not overestimate their performance as much as nar-

cissistic children do (Derry et al., 2019). Thus, narcissism is

marked by illusion, whereas self-esteem is marked by realism.

Growth

Narcissistic children strive for superiority. Narcissism is rooted

in the desire to stand out from and get ahead of others (Grapsas,

Brummelman, Back, & Denissen, 2020). In the service of supe-

riority, narcissistic children may look down on others and com-

pare themselves favorably to others (Thomaes & Brummelman,

2016). As narcissistic children look down on others, they may

feel little care, concern, or empathy for them (Thomaes, Stegge,

Bushman, Olthof, & Denissen, 2008). By contrast, children with

high self-esteem are more interested in improving themselves

than in outperforming others. For example, they believe they

can hone their abilities through effort and education (Robins &

Pals, 2002). Consequently, they are curious, interested, and

ready to assume challenging tasks to better themselves

(Waschull & Kernis, 1996). Children with high self-esteem may

not habitually compare themselves to others, but instead tend to

reflect on how they have improved over time (cf. G€urel, Brum- melman, Sedikides, & Overbeek, 2020). Thus, narcissism is

marked by a striving for superiority, whereas self-esteem is

marked by a striving for growth.

Robustness

Narcissistic children have fragile feelings about themselves.

According to attribution theory, narcissistic children are

inclined to make stable and global self-attributions of both suc-

cesses and failures, causing them to oscillate between hubris

and shame (Lewis, 1992; Tracy et al., 2009). For example, when

narcissistic children receive negative feedback, they feel disap-

pointed in themselves and may even blush—a hallmark of shame (Brummelman, Nikoli�c, & B€ogels, 2018). In response to shame, narcissistic children may lash out angrily or aggressively

(Donnellan et al., 2005). Over time, shame may spiral into anxi-

ety and depression (Barry & Malkin, 2010). By contrast, chil-

dren with high self-esteem have relatively robust feelings about

themselves. They feel worthy, even in the face of failure (Kernis,

Brown, & Brody, 2000; Tracy et al., 2009). Consequently, they

are unlikely to feel ashamed, and hence to become angry or

aggressive (Donnellan et al., 2005). These children are at

reduced risk of developing anxiety and depression (Orth &

Robins, 2014). Thus, narcissism is marked by fragility, whereas

self-esteem is marked by robustness.

Discussion

Our model holds that narcissism and self-esteem are built on

distinct pillars. Why then are narcissism and self-esteem weakly

but positively correlated? First, they share an agentic core—a tendency to focus on oneself and the pursuit of one’s goals

(Hyatt et al., 2018). Like their counterparts with high self-

Child Development Perspectives, Volume 14, Number 2, 2020, Pages 83–89

84 Eddie Brummelman and Constantine Sedikides

esteem, narcissists value competence and achievement (Hyatt

et al., 2018). Second, the pillars of narcissism and self-esteem

are not mutually exclusive. For example, some children might

strive for both growth and superiority, and others might strive

for neither. Thus, narcissism and self-esteem are not opposites

and can fluctuate independently of one another. Our thesis is

that pillars are foundational, that is, they precede the develop-

ment of narcissism and self-esteem. Of course, given the recur-

sive character of developmental processes, pillars may also

appear to simply co-occur with narcissism and self-esteem.

SOCIALIZATION OF NARCISSISM AND SELF-ESTEEM

By delineating the distinct pillars underlying narcissism and

self-esteem, our model opens the possibility of identifying

socialization experiences that cultivate self-esteem without

breeding narcissism. Psychologists have focused mostly on the

reverse—the socialization experiences that breed narcissism. According to some psychoanalytic theories, narcissism develops

in response to lack of parental warmth (Kernberg, 1975). Chil-

dren raised this way are thought to develop deep-seated, uncon-

scious shame and self-loathing, and to engage in narcissistic

ideation to ward off these discomforting states (Lewis, 1987).

However, there is no evidence that narcissism is cultivated by

lack of parental warmth (Brummelman, Thomaes, Nelemans,

Orobio de Castro, Overbeek, et al., 2015; Wetzel & Robins,

2016) or that narcissists harbor unconscious shame or self-loath-

ing (Bosson et al., 2008).

Recent studies indicate that narcissism is cultivated, in part,

by parental overvaluation. In longitudinal research, 7- to 11-year

olds and their parents were studied prospectively over four mea-

surement waves (Brummelman, Thomaes, Nelemans, Orobio de

Castro, Overbeek, et al., 2015). Narcissism was predicted by

parental overvaluation—how much parents saw their child as a special individual entitled to privileges. Cross-sectional research

has replicated these findings (Derry, 2018; Nguyen & Shaw,

2020).

How exactly do overvaluing parents cultivate narcissism in

children? Conversely, how can parents raise children’s self-es-

teem without breeding narcissism? Our model suggests that nar-

cissism and self-esteem are cultivated by three classes of

socialization practices, corresponding to the three pillars (see

Figure 1). The model applies to children ages 7 and older, who

are aware that others, such as parents, evaluate them from an

external perspective (Harter, 2012). These evaluations can be

internalized and develop into stable self-evaluations. Indeed,

stable individual differences in narcissism and self-esteem can

be assessed reliably from age 7 (Thomaes & Brummelman,

2016).

Realistic Feedback

Overvaluing parents may foster narcissism by cultivating illu-

sion. These parents overestimate, overclaim, and overpraise their

children’s qualities (Brummelman, Thomaes, Nelemans, Orobio

de Castro, & Bushman, 2015). For example, they believe that

their children are smarter than others, even when their chil-

dren’s IQ scores are average. They claim that their children

know about a wide range of topics, even ones that do not exist

(e.g., the fictional book, The Tale of Benson Bunny). Also, they

praise their children more often than other parents do, even

when the children do not perform well.

Overvaluing parents may express their overestimation through

inflated praise. Praise is inflated when it contains an adverb

(e.g., incredibly) or adjective (e.g., amazing) signaling an extre-

mely positive evaluation, such as “You did incredibly well!” In a longitudinal observational study (Brummelman, Nelemans,

Figure 1. The hypothesized pillars of self-esteem (left) and narcissism (right), and the socialization experiences hypothesized to cultivate them. The circles’ overlap reflects the weak but positive correlation between self-esteem and narcissism.

Child Development Perspectives, Volume 14, Number 2, 2020, Pages 83–89

Tripartite Model 85

Thomaes, & Orobio de Castro, 2017), parents’ inflated praise

was coded from parent–child interactions; in a subgroup of chil- dren, parents’ inflated praise predicted higher narcissism 6, 12,

and 18 months after the observations.

By contrast, parents may foster self-esteem by cultivating real-

ism. They can do so by providing children with realistic feed-

back (i.e., feedback that is relatively close to objective

benchmarks), which can help children understand themselves

more accurately. Because children prefer positive over negative

feedback, they may be inclined to dismiss negative feedback,

even if is diagnostic, because such feedback hurts (Sedikides,

2018). Yet, children may benefit more from moderately positive

feedback than from inflated praise. Although researchers have

not examined the causal link between realistic feedback and the

development of self-esteem, correlational evidence supports this

link. For example, when parents gave children realistic praise

(rather than overpraised or underpraised them), children earned

higher grade point averages and had fewer symptoms of depres-

sion (Lee, Kim, Kesebir, & Han, 2017). When children felt that

their parents’ praise was slightly but not greatly overstated, they

benefited as much as they did from realistic praise. Such find-

ings tentatively suggest that positive feedback helps children if

it closely matches reality.

Focus on Growth

Overvaluing parents may foster narcissism by cultivating chil-

dren’s striving for superiority. Such parents may pressure chil-

dren to stand out from others. For example, overvaluing parents

are likely to give their children uncommon first names (Brum-

melman, Thomaes, Nelemans, Orobio de Castro, & Bushman,

2015). Also, these parents are emotionally invested in their chil-

dren’s social status (Grapsas, Brummelman, et al., 2020). For

example, while monitoring children’s status on social media,

overvaluing parents smiled when their child gained status, but

frowned when their child lost status, as revealed by their facial

muscle activity (Grapsas, Denissen, Lee, Bos, & Brummelman,

2020). Encouraging children to think they are better than others

triggers their narcissistic desire to be superior to others at the

expense of their desire to grow and learn (G€urel et al., 2020).

By contrast, parents may foster self-esteem by cultivating chil-

dren’s striving for growth. For example, when children succeed

at a task, parents may praise children’s effort and strategies

(e.g., “You found a good way to do it!”) to acknowledge the suc- cess but highlight that it was the result of hard work and effi-

cient strategies. When children receive such praise, they are

more likely to embrace challenges and persist in the face of set-

backs (Mueller & Dweck, 1998). Similarly, when children fail,

parents may talk to them about what they can learn from the

experience, how they can study their mistakes to improve, and

how they might ask for help. Over time, these practices can help

children embrace learning and growth rather than superiority

(Haimovitz & Dweck, 2016). Encouraging children to reflect on

their growth (e.g., how their skills have improved) raises their

self-esteem and sparks their desire for self-improvement without

triggering narcissistic strivings for superiority (G€urel et al.,

2020).

Unconditional Regard

Overvaluing parents may foster narcissism by cultivating fragi-

lity. They can do so by making their regard conditional on the

child living up to their narcissistic standards. Overvaluing par-

ents state, “I would find it disappointing if my child was just a

‘regular’ child” (Brummelman, Thomaes, Nelemans, Orobio de

Castro, & Bushman, 2015, p. 678). Indeed, when the child

stands out from others, overvaluing parents may feel proud,

basking in the child’s reflected glory. However, when the child

is just “regular,” overvaluing parents may become disappointed

or even hostile (see Wetzel & Robins, 2016). Consequently, nar-

cissistic children may infer that their worth hinges on them

meeting their parents’ standards (Tracy et al., 2009), leading

them to attribute successes and failures to their whole selves

(Lewis, 1992). Although causal evidence on the link between

conditional regard and the development of narcissism is lacking,

correlational research shows that children who experienced con-

ditional regard from their parents displayed more narcissistic

traits, such as self-aggrandizement after success and self-devalu-

ation after failure (Assor & Tal, 2012).

By contrast, parents may foster self-esteem by cultivating ro-

bustness. They can do so by giving children unconditional

regard. This does not mean that parents lavish their children

with praise no matter what they do; rather, it means that parents

accept children for who they are, even when the children fail

(Harter, Marold, Whitesell, & Cobbs, 1996). For example, when

children misbehave, parents may express unconditional regard

by correcting children’s behavior while continuing to be warm

and accepting toward them as a person (Kernis et al., 2000).

Similarly, when children work toward an achievement, parents

may express unconditional regard by valuing children regardless

of the outcome of their efforts. When parents express such

unconditional regard, children feel more connected to their true

selves (Harter et al., 1996) and have higher as well as more

stable self-esteem (Kernis et al., 2000). Extending these find-

ings, in a randomized intervention, children were invited to

reflect on times when they were accepted and valued by others

unconditionally (Brummelman et al., 2014). Three weeks later,

children received their first report card of the school year. With-

out the intervention, children who received low grades felt

ashamed; with it, these painful feelings faded. Thus, uncondi-

tional regard made children’s feelings about themselves more

robust.

Discussion

The tripartite model posits that parents can raise self-esteem

without breeding narcissism by providing children with realistic

feedback (rather than inflated praise), focusing on growth (rather

than on outperforming others), and giving unconditional regard

Child Development Perspectives, Volume 14, Number 2, 2020, Pages 83–89

86 Eddie Brummelman and Constantine Sedikides

(rather than regard that is conditional). The model focuses on

the independent effects of these practices, but joint effects are

certainly possible. For example, parents’ realistic feedback may

be most effective in raising self-esteem when paired with uncon-

ditional regard, teaching children that critical feedback on their

behavior does not signal lack of regard for them as a person.

Although evidence for these three classes of socialization

experiences has been accumulating, the field faces three major

challenges. First, the bulk of the literature has relied on subjec-

tive reports of socialization experiences. We call for observa-

tional and experience sampling methods to track socialization

experiences in children’s everyday lives. Second, most research

is cross-sectional or longitudinal. We call for experiments that

examine causal effects of socialization experiences. Third, no

interventions have sought to change socialization practices to

raise children’s self-esteem without breeding narcissism. We

call for research into the effectiveness of parenting interventions

that teach realistic feedback, a focus on growth, and uncondi-

tional regard. By addressing these challenges, the field can

build a more precise understanding of what does—and does not —contribute to children’s development of healthy self-esteem.

LOOKING AHEAD

The tripartite model generates new directions for research on

self-esteem interventions, the heterogeneity of narcissism and

self-esteem, and the sociocultural foundations of narcissism and

self-esteem.

Interventions

Our model can be used to rethink self-esteem interventions and

better understand their effectiveness. Our model suggests that

interventions can raise self-esteem by targeting its pillars—real- ism, growth, and robustness. A challenge is that parents of nar-

cissistic children, who are most in need of such interventions,

are often narcissistic themselves (Brummelman, Thomaes, Nele-

mans, Orobio de Castro, & Bushman, 2015; Miller & Campbell,

2008). Given their inflated views of themselves and their chil-

dren, narcissistic parents may believe they do not need interven-

tion. Interventions can circumvent these concerns by changing

parenting through nudges, such as text messages suggesting

short, simple, specific activities for parents to do with their chil-

dren (York, Loeb, & Doss, 2019). These nudges, even as they

change how parents behave, may not be seen as interventions

and therefore may engage even narcissistic parents.

Heterogeneity

Our model can unravel the heterogeneity of narcissism and self-

esteem. For example, narcissism can be manifested in both

grandiose and vulnerable ways (Derry et al., 2019). From the

perspective of the tripartite model, both manifestations are

marked by striving for superiority, but may differ in terms of

illusion and fragility. Would vulnerable narcissism be

characterized less by illusion and more by fragility than its

grandiose counterpart, as initial evidence indicates (Derry et al.,

2019)? If so, would inflated praise be more likely to predict

grandiose narcissism and conditional regard be more likely to

predict vulnerable narcissism? Addressing these questions will

help us understand why grandiose and vulnerable narcissism,

despite their shared foundation, manifest differently.

Sociocultural Foundations

Our model can examine the sociocultural foundations of narcis-

sism and self-esteem. Narcissism is more common in Western

cultures than in other cultures because these cultures embrace

individualism (Thomaes & Brummelman, 2016). Parents’ under-

standing of individualism reflects the specific needs, values,

beliefs, and concerns of their local worlds (Kusserow, 1999).

Working-class and low-income parents often adopt hard individ-

ualism, teaching their children to be tough and resilient in a

world of scarcity. Middle- and upper-class parents often adopt

soft individualism, helping children cultivate their unique talents

and abilities in a world of opportunity—a process known as con- certed cultivation (Lareau, 2011). Unsurprisingly, middle- and

upper-class parents are more likely to cultivate narcissism in

their children than are working-class or low-income parents

(Martin, Côt�e, & Woodruff, 2016). Do these parents do so by

lavishing children with praise, comparing them favorably to

others who are less well-off, or making approval conditional on

worldly successes? Also, are these class-based practices more

common in unequal societies, where parents are more concerned

about their children’s relative standing? To address these ques-

tions, researchers need to expand their methodological reper-

toire because most studies are monocultural and include

predominantly Western middle-class participants.

CONCLUSION

Raising children’s self-esteem has become an important goal for

parents throughout Western society. Scholars and policymakers

have long feared that, in raising children’s self-esteem exces-

sively, parents may have risked turning them into narcissists

(Baumeister, Campbell, Krueger, & Vohs, 2003). However, evi-

dence indicates that narcissism and self-esteem are more dis-

tinct than previously thought. Our model shows that narcissism

and self-esteem are built on distinct pillars and that it is possi-

ble to raise children’s self-esteem without breeding narcissism.

We hope our model not only provides researchers with a frame-

work to study the origins and nature of narcissism and self-es-

teem but also helps parents build a strong foundation for their

children’s self-esteem.

REFERENCES

Assor, A., & Tal, K. (2012). When parents’ affection depends on child’s achievement: Parental conditional positive regard, self-

Child Development Perspectives, Volume 14, Number 2, 2020, Pages 83–89

Tripartite Model 87

aggrandizement, shame and coping in adolescents. Journal of Ado- lescence, 35, 249–260. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.adolescence.2011. 10.004

Barry, C. T., & Malkin, M. L. (2010). The relation between adolescent narcissism and internalizing problems depends on the conceptual- ization of narcissism. Journal of Research in Personality, 44, 684– 690. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2010.09.001

Baumeister, R. F., Campbell, J. D., Krueger, J. I., & Vohs, K. D. (2003). Does high self-esteem cause better performance, interpersonal suc- cess, happiness, or healthier lifestyles? Psychological Science in the Public Interest, 4, 1–44. https://doi.org/10.1111/1529-1006.01431

Baumeister, R. F., Smart, L., & Boden, J. M. (1996). Relation of threat- ened egotism to violence and aggression: The dark side of high self-esteem. Psychological Review, 103, 5–33. https://doi.org/10. 1037/0033-295x.103.1.5

Bernstein, D. P., Cohen, P., Velez, C. N., Schwab-Stone, M., Siever, L. J., & Shinsato, L. (1993). Prevalence and stability of the DSM-III- R personality disorders in a community-based survey of adoles- cents. The American Journal of Psychiatry, 150, 1237–1243. https://doi.org/10.1176/ajp.150.8.1237

Bleiberg, E. (1984). Narcissistic disorders in children. A developmental approach to diagnosis. Bulletin of the Menninger Clinic, 48, 501– 517.

Bosson, J. K., Lakey, C. E., Campbell, W. K., Zeigler-Hill, V., Jordan, C. H., & Kernis, M. H. (2008). Untangling the links between nar- cissism and self-esteem: A theoretical and empirical review. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 2, 1415–1439. https://doi. org/10.1111/j.1751-9004.2008.00089.x

Brummelman, E., Nelemans, S. A., Thomaes, S., & Orobio de Castro, B. (2017). When parents’ praise inflates, children’s self-esteem defla- tes. Child Development, 88, 1799–1809. https://doi.org/10.1111/ cdev.12936

Brummelman, E., Nikoli�c, M., & B€ogels, S. M. (2018). What’s in a blush? Physiological blushing reveals narcissistic children’s social- evaluative concerns. Psychophysiology, 55, e13201. https://doi.org/ 10.1111/psyp.13201

Brummelman, E., Thomaes, S., Nelemans, S. A., Orobio de Castro, B., & Bushman, B. J. (2015). My child is God’s gift to humanity: Devel- opment and validation of the Parental Overvaluation Scale (POS). Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 108, 665–679. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspp0000012

Brummelman, E., Thomaes, S., Nelemans, S. A., Orobio de Castro, B., Overbeek, G., & Bushman, B. J. (2015). Origins of narcissism in children. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America, 112, 3659–3662. https://doi.org/10.1073/ pnas.1420870112

Brummelman, E., Thomaes, S., & Sedikides, C. (2016). Separating nar- cissism from self-esteem. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 25, 8–13. https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721415619737

Brummelman, E., Thomaes, S., Walton, G. M., Poorthuis, A. M. G., Overbeek, G., Orobio de Castro, B., & Bushman, B. J. (2014). Unconditional regard buffers children’s negative self-feelings. Pedi- atrics, 134, 1119–1126. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2013-3698

Derry, K. L. (2018). An examination of grandiose and vulnerable narcis- sism in adults, adolescents, and children. Doctoral dissertation, School of Psychological Science, University of Western Australia, Perth, WA.

Derry, K. L., Ohan, J. L., & Bayliss, D. M. (2019). Fearing failure: Gran- diose narcissism, vulnerable narcissism, and emotional reactivity in children. Child Development. https://doi.org/10.1111/cdev.13264

Donnellan, M. B., Trzesniewski, K. H., Robins, R. W., Moffitt, T. E., & Caspi, A. (2005). Low self-esteem is related to aggression, antiso- cial behavior, and delinquency. Psychological Science, 16, 328– 335. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.0956-7976.2005.01535.x

Grapsas, S., Brummelman, E., Back, M. D., & Denissen, J. J. A. (2020). The “why” and “how” of narcissism: A process model of narcissis- tic status pursuit. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 15, 150– 172. https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691619873350

Grapsas, S., Denissen, J. J. A., Lee, H. Y., Bos, P. A., & Brummelman, E. (2020). Climbing up or falling down: An electromyography exper- iment on status concerns in narcissistic children and their parents. Unpublished manuscript.

Grijalva, E., & Zhang, L. (2016). Narcissism and self-insight: A review and meta-analysis of narcissists’ self-enhancement tendencies. Per- sonality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 42, 3–24. https://doi.org/ 10.1177/0146167215611636

G€urel, C�., Brummelman, E., Sedikides, C., & Overbeek, G. (2020). Bet- ter than my past self: Temporal comparison raises children’s pride without triggering superiority goals. Journal of Experimental Psy- chology: General. https://doi.org/10.1037/xge0000733

Haimovitz, K., & Dweck, C. S. (2016). Parents’ views of failure predict children’s fixed and growth intelligence mind-sets. Psychological Science, 27, 859–869. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797616639727

Harter, S. (2012). The construction of the self: Developmental and socio- cultural foundations. New York, NY: Guilford.

Harter, S., Marold, D. B., Whitesell, N. R., & Cobbs, G. (1996). A model of the effects of perceived parent and peer support on adolescent false self behavior. Child Development, 67, 360–374. https://doi. org/10.1111/j.1467-8624.1996.tb01738.x

Hyatt, C. S., Sleep, C. E., Lamkin, J., Maples-Keller, J. L., Sedikides, C., Campbell, W. K., & Miller, J. D. (2018). Narcissism and self- esteem: A nomological network analysis. PLoS ONE, 13, e0201088. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0201088

Kernberg, O. F. (1975). Borderline conditions and pathological narcis- sism. New York, NY: Jason Aronson.

Kernis, M. H., Brown, A. C., & Brody, G. H. (2000). Fragile self-esteem in children and its associations with perceived patterns of parent– child communication. Journal of Personality, 68, 225–252. https:// doi.org/10.1111/1467-6494.00096

Krizan, Z., & Herlache, A. D. (2018). The narcissism spectrum model: A synthetic view of narcissistic personality. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 22, 3–31. https://doi.org/10.1177/ 1088868316685018

Kusserow, A. S. (1999). De-homogenizing American individualism: Socializing hard and soft individualism in Manhattan and Queens. Ethos, 27, 210–234. https://doi.org/10.1525/eth.1999.27.2.210

Lareau, A. (2011). Unequal childhoods: Class, race, and family life (2nd ed.). Berkeley, CA: University of California Press.

Lee, H. I., Kim, Y.-H., Kesebir, P., & Han, D. E. (2017). Understanding when parental praise leads to optimal child outcomes: Role of per- ceived praise accuracy. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 8, 679–688. https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550616683020

Lewis, H. B. (1987). Shame and the narcissistic personality. In D. L. Nathanson (Ed.), The many faces of shame (pp. 93–132). New York, NY: Guilford.

Lewis, M. (1992). Shame: The exposed self. New York, NY: Free Press. Martin, S. R., Côt�e, S., & Woodruff, T. (2016). Echoes of our upbringing:

How growing up wealthy or poor relates to narcissism, leader behavior, and leader effectiveness. Academy of Management Jour- nal, 59, 2157–2177. https://doi.org/10.5465/amj.2015.0680

Child Development Perspectives, Volume 14, Number 2, 2020, Pages 83–89

88 Eddie Brummelman and Constantine Sedikides

Miller, J. D., & Campbell, W. K. (2008). Comparing clinical and social- personality conceptualizations of narcissism. Journal of Personality, 76, 449–476. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-6494.2008.00492.x

Miller, P. J., & Cho, G. E. (2018). Self-esteem in time and place: How American families imagine, enact, and personalize a cultural ideal. New York, NY: Oxford University Press.

Mueller, C. M., & Dweck, C. S. (1998). Praise for intelligence can undermine children’s motivation and performance. Journal of Per- sonality and Social Psychology, 75, 33–52. https://doi.org/10.1037/ 0022-3514.75.1.33

Nguyen, K. T., & Shaw, L. (2020). The aetiology of non-clinical narcis- sism: Clarifying the role of adverse childhood experiences and par- ental overvaluation. Personality and Individual Differences, 154, 109615. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2019.109615

Orth, U., & Robins, R. W. (2014). The development of self-esteem. Cur- rent Directions in Psychological Science, 23, 381–387. https://doi. org/10.1177/0963721414547414

Robins, R. W., & Pals, J. L. (2002). Implicit self-theories in the aca- demic domain: Implications for goal orientation, attributions, affect, and self-esteem change. Self and Identity, 1, 313–336. https://doi. org/10.1080/15298860290106805

Sedikides, C. (2018). The need for positive feedback: Sociocultural con- siderations of self-evaluative motives in education. In G. A. D. Liem & D. M. McInerney (Eds.), Big theories revisited (2nd ed.; pp. 381–400). Charlotte, NC: Information Age.

Thomaes, S., & Brummelman, E. (2016). Narcissism. In D. Cicchetti (Ed.), Developmental psychopathology (Vol. 4, 3rd ed., pp. 679– 725). Hoboken, NJ: Wiley.

Thomaes, S., Stegge, H., Bushman, B. J., Olthof, T., & Denissen, J. (2008). Development and validation of the Childhood Narcissism Scale. Journal of Personality Assessment, 90, 382–391. https://doi. org/10.1080/00223890802108162

Tracy, J. L., Cheng, J. T., Robins, R. W., & Trzesniewski, K. H. (2009). Authentic and hubristic pride: The affective core of self-esteem and narcissism. Self and Identity, 8, 196–213. https://doi.org/10. 1080/15298860802505053

Waschull, S. B., & Kernis, M. H. (1996). Level and stability of self-es- teem as predictors of children’s intrinsic motivation and reasons for anger. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 22, 4–13. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167296221001

Wetzel, E., & Robins, R. W. (2016). Are parenting practices associated with the development of narcissism? Findings from a longitudinal study of Mexican-origin youth. Journal of Research in Personality, 63, 84–94. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2016.05.005

York, B. N., Loeb, S., & Doss, C. (2019). One step at a time: The effects of an early literacy text-messaging program for parents of preschoolers. Journal of Human Resources, 54, 537–566. https:// doi.org/10.3368/jhr.54.3.0517-8756R

Child Development Perspectives, Volume 14, Number 2, 2020, Pages 83–89

Tripartite Model 89