assignment

Queer Asian Americans

Being gay and Asian in America is like fighting a two-front battle. One not only has to fight racism and homophobia in society in general, but also stereotypes and lack of representation in they gay community. -Edward Kai Chiu

*Disclaimer: I am using the term queer in this lecture for LGBTQ community members as "an inclusive term to refer to those who fall outside of cisgender or heterosexual identities—not as a pejorative", just as Teaching Tolerance (Links to an external site.) does in it's Guide Best Practices for Serving LGBTQ Students. This is a term that has been used historically as a slur but reclaimed and re-appropriated by community members during the civil rights' movement. I do not intend to speak from a place of belonging as I myself am a cisgender heterosexual woman, rather use this space to share the research behind 1) the experiences of some members of the Asian American LGBTQ community 2) the issues faced in this doubly marginalized community 3) provide a better understanding of the struggles for Asian American LGBTQ members when coming out to their families, friends and workspaces.

LGBTQ, doubly marginalized

Our lectures thus far have focused on the heteronormative binary gendered heterosexual experiences in popular culture. The exercise of hypermasculinity in spoken word, import cars and hip hop were deliberate acts to claim a manhood that also equated to "normalcy" in a heterosexual society. These acts were to break free from early images/constructed representations of men as being asexual and effeminate, and possibly homosexual (*Note the term homosexual is offensive and derogatory and used in this manner for this explanation. It is not an acceptable term for use). The hyper-sexualized women in film, beauty pageants and cosmetic surgeries highlight the image of the Asian American woman as being feminine and only attractive with feminine traits.

This cisgender identity marker enabled Asian Americans to gain greater acceptance in mainstream societies and move slightly out of the margins. As we mentioned previously, Asian Americans celebrated access into the mainstream society and proudly donned the model minority title. Unfortunately, the movement forward of this "normalized" community also left behind the stories of people within the Asian American community that live outside of other margins because of their non-conforming gender and sexuality. Queer Asian Americans face double exclusion, one from the Asian American community and one from the narratives of the LGBTQ community.

The invisible minority was present but never in large enough numbers nor causing enough of a ruckus to be demonized as troublemakers (model minority). Exclusion from the Asian American community (figuratively) is matched with exclusion from the LGBTQ community's movements of the 1970's (literally). Asian Americans seemed to be obsolete during the 1960's Civil Rights Movement and were also omitted from the Gay Rights Movements. Differing from the "African American" Civil Rights Movement, the Gay Rights Movements of the 1970's were visibly White. In this marginalized space based on sexual orientation, Asian Americans face a second marginalization, one that is by race. This "White" or "American" phenomenon would be a determinate of acceptance into a new segment of society and fuel assumptions of an acquired trait from their immigrant parents.

Terms

Part of the movement in the 1970's by all marginalized communities was taking ownership of terms that were used out of hate.  These once hate filled terms were reclaimed to transfer power and ownership to those who identify with the term.  The  Human Rights Campaign (Links to an external site.)  has a great set of glossary terms that I am referencing in the defintion of LGBTQ: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer.

Lesbian | A woman who is emotionally, romantically or sexually attracted to other women.

Gay | A person who is emotionally, romantically or sexually attracted to members of the same gender.

Bisexual | A person emotionally, romantically or sexually attracted to more than one sex, gender or gender identity though not necessarily simultaneously, in the same way or to the same degree.

Transgender | An umbrella term for people whose gender identity and/or expression is different from cultural expectations based on the sex they were assigned at birth. Being transgender does not imply any specific sexual orientation. Therefore, transgender people may identify as straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc.

Queer | A term people often use to express fluid identities and orientations. Often used interchangeably with "LGBTQ."

These terms have been known since the acronym came about and has gained a greater understanding through the years.  There are several more terms that I would like to highlight that are becoming more understood are listed below: 

Closeted | Describes an LGBTQ person who has not disclosed their sexual orientation or gender identity.

Coming out | The process in which a person first acknowledges, accepts and appreciates their sexual orientation or gender identity and begins to share that with others.

Ally | A person who is not LGBTQ but shows support for LGBTQ people and promotes equality in a variety of ways.

Cisgender | A term used to describe a person whose gender identity aligns with those typically associated with the sex assigned to them at birth.

Gender identity | One’s innermost concept of self as male, female, a blend of both or neither – how individuals perceive themselves and what they call themselves. One's gender identity can be the same or different from their sex assigned at birth.

Sexual orientation | An inherent or immutable enduring emotional, romantic or sexual attraction to other people.

Gender expression | External appearance of one's gender identity, usually expressed through behavior, clothing, haircut or voice, and which may or may not conform to socially defined behaviors and characteristics typically associated with being either masculine or feminine.

Non-binary | An adjective describing a person who does not identify exclusively as a man or a woman. Non-binary people may identify as being both a man and a woman, somewhere in between, or as falling completely outside these categories. While many also identify as transgender, not all non-binary people do.

The one thing that scholars emphasize about the queer community and the literature that's being published is that they are constantly evolving.  Part of this evolution is due to the hard work and courage of community members and allies to become educators.  The other part is that society has become more open and receptive in understanding of people unlike themselves.  These open conversations encourage community members to express themselves as who they are, celebrating every facet of their identity.  Of course this is no Utopia and there are still communities that are unable and or unwilling to understand the LGBTQ community. 

 Another crack in they myth

We have covered many issues faced as being part of a marginalized community in the United States. The Asian American experience comes out of a struggle and actually the term Asian American came out of the greatest struggle, the Civil Rights Movement. Having society recognize the political power of the community and activism that can be ignited was an important part of the fight. Asian Americans have made strides to become more of the conversation in society and as earlier stated, staying within norms has helped move the community forward. The model minority myth celebrates the successful Asian American who is educated, financially stable, law abiding and yes, family centered.

When we learned about the MMM we discussed utilizing the family reunification category as a means to grow the community. We also talked about how it helped to assure the American society that the Asian American family was "just like them" and in this sense, heterosexual. This then means that living outside of heterosexuality is being deviant, deviant from the model minority. Of course the American society has become more open and accepting (not completely) of the LGBTQ community which can include Asian Americans. If society becomes accepting of Asian Americans as part of the LGBTQ community (as it has over the years) shouldn't all parts of the Asian American community do so as well?

Just as we cannot broad stroke the queer community as one, the Asian American community is diverse in all aspects (as we have covered thus far). Asian Americans can identify anywhere on Gender and Sexual Orientation spectrums, have different comfort levels of disclosure and may face a whole range of acceptance by their community members. The coming out process has many unknowns and fears especially when there are cultural "norms" and expectations that are to be carried within a community. Knowing the difficulties for Asian Americans to come out might help you find comfort in your own journey or shed light on the experiences of someone you might know or love.

Living Authentically

Leaning on the resource Coming Out: Living Authentically as LGBTQ Asian and Pacific Islander Americans (Links to an external site.) from the The National Queer Asian Pacific Islander Alliance and Human Right's Campaign Foundation we will discuss the issues that Asian and Pacific Islanders APIs face when going through the process of coming out. The cultural clashes, limited exposure, terms lost in translation and overall communication differences are some of the major hurdles that APIs face when making the decision to finally live authentically.

Guilt and fears

Children of immigrants often feel a sense of indebtedness for the sacrifice of their parents leaving all that they knew and loved to resettle in a new country in hopes of a better future for their kids. Filial piety (a Confucian virtue) is a big part of East Asian cultures and is often instilled in children of immigrants. Filial piety is the virtue where children show the utmost respect and obedience for parents/elders. The combination of indebtedness and filial piety creates a great sense of guilt for lack of execution of the immigrant parents'/elders hopes and dreams. These can be academic, financial and of course personal. The disappointment feared is the let down of loved ones in the US, "back home" (home country) and even those who have passed on (ancestors).

There are situations where families will not be accepting of this revelation immediately. Some may take some time. And some may just see the child they love and accept them for who they are. The National Queer Asian Pacific Islander Alliance (NQAPIA) partnered with the Asian Pride Project and created a campaign of multilingual videos (Links to an external site.) showcasing parents speaking about the the love for their LGBTQ children. Below you can view one example:

Assumptions

Often times the greatest barrier to understanding something "new" or "different" (look at any immigrant experience) is due to the lack of exposure and information (definition of ignorance). Immigrant families mistakenly think that their queer child not only "chooses" to be queer but has been nurtured to become queer, specifically by their American environment. The misconception is that through exposure to American culture and LGBTQ friends gender identity and sexual orientation are learned traits. This "phase", "choice" or "preference" is nothing of the sort, and through conversations and greater education, parents can learn that as well.

Lost in translation

The acquisition of the English language comes quickly for children of immigrants. Flung into English speaking schools they become immersed in the language and quickly become translators for their immigrant parents. This common practice is part of life for children of immigrants from all countries and they often come across difficulties with translations. The process of coming out can be daunting, emotional and yet cathartic to some who have been aching to live authentically. Expressing their fears, conveying their truth and offering explanations to alleviate confusion or tensions are hard enough. Attempting to translate these emotions can be tougher for API youth who struggle with their native language. Coupled with terms that have no equivalency the conversations with their parents can be quite challenging. Some API youth partner with other family members or friends to help in the translation process, and thankfully there are many resources (shared through the Human Right's Campaign site) that help bridge the gaps in many languages and dialects.

As stated earlier some families need a little time to process. Some will need time, resources and community. And others will become their children's strongest advocates.

As Trinity Ordona stated in the reading:

"We are concerned about our family and the huge fear of rejection we may face. It's true that many Asian parents tend to be very conservative and protective of their children. But once you can get them behind their kids, they will take on the world!"