Revise my outline and essay according to the comments.

Course: SPCH 1311 Online

Professor: Sherry Dean

Semester: Spring 2020

Object: iphone

Student Name: Qian Chen - Sophie

Item

0 pts

1 pt

2 pts

3 pts

4 pts

5 pts

Comments

Introduction – 20 points

Began with Attention Getter

x

You need a stronger attention-getting statement. Your question could refer to cell phone addiction. “How many of you would be lost if something happened to your cell phone? I know certainly would be.” -3 points

Strong credibility statement

Missing preview of main points. -5 points

Established Credibility and stated thesis, including object

x

Preview of main points

x

Body – 30 points

Easy to identify and follow body points

x

Good content that supports your main points

You need transitions to link your main points effectively. -10 points

Characterized by smooth transitions

x

Conclusion – 20 points

Restated thesis and summarized main points

x

Say “in conclusion” to signal the end of your presentation. -2 points

Then, recap your main points by saying “1st, 2nd, 3rd. Remind us of what we’ve learned. Repetition is important in public speaking. -7 points

Finish with a strong memorable statement;

Think of a quote, such as “A picture of worth a thousand words, but it is also worth a thousand memories.” -5 points

Memorable closing remark

x

Delivery – 30 points

Effective vocal delivery

--volume/pitch/rate/emphasis

--Free from vocal fillers

x

You need hand gestures to add physical energy to your presentation. -5 points

Please don’t read from the computer screen. You need to put your outline on notecards. These are called speaking notes. -7 points

In your next presentation, I need to see you from “head to feet.” Stand farther away from the camera. -5 points

Direct eye contact with the camera and audience is effective

Please smile as you speak. This is important. -3 points

Direct eye contact with all audience members/ Minimal Use of Notes

x

Effective physical delivery

--posture/gestures/facial expression

--Free from distractions

x

Outline – 10 points

Standard outline formatting

x

There are no bullet points in outlines. Please look at the speech outline examples I have provided for you in the assignment instructions. -5 points

Complete sentences

x

Potential Deductions

Object Displayed (-5)

Yes

Audience - one member

Time Limit 2-3 minutes (-1 for every 15 seconds over/under)

Other deductions (clothing, noise, late, etc.)

Total Points: - 57 points 53/110 = 48% F

Dear Sophie,

I thought you would redo this presentation as you made an “F” in the last class. Please remember to make all the corrections needed for your Country Informative Speech. I want you to pass the course this second time.

My best,

Dr. Dean