Week 3 - 2 questions and a Power Point

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References Flora, C. (2009). The Pursuit of Happiness. (Cover story). Psychology Today, 42(1), 60-69. <!--Additional Information: Persistent link to this record (Permalink): https://lopes-idm-oclc-org.library.gcu.edu:2443/login? url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=a9h&AN=35962377&site=ehost-live&scope=site End of citation-->

The Pursuit of Happiness Caught up in a happiness frenzy for much of the past decade, Americans have remarkably little to show for it. Herein we highlight the research that illuminates a more satisfying way to well- being. WELCOME TO THE HAPPINESS FRENZY, NOW peaking at a Barnes & Noble near you: Last year 4,000 books were published on happiness, while a mere 50 books on the topic were released in 2000. The most popular class at Harvard University is about positive psychology, and at least 100 other universities offer similar courses. Happiness workshops for the post-collegiate set abound, and each day "life coaches" promising bliss to potential clients hang out their shingles.

In the late 1990s, psychologist Martin Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania exhorted colleagues to scrutinize optimal moods with the same intensity with which they had for so long studied pathologies: We'd never learn about full human functioning unless we knew as much about mental wellness as we do about mental illness. A new generation of psychologists built up a respectable body of research on positive character traits and happiness-boosting practices. At the same time, developments in neuroscience provided new clues to what makes us happy and what that looks like in the brain. Not to be outdone, behavioral economists piled on research subverting the classical premise that people always make rational choices that increase their wellbeing. We're lousy at predicting what makes us happy, they found.

It wasn't enough that an array of academic strands came together, sparking a slew of insights into the sunny side of life. Self-appointed experts jumped on the happiness bandwagon. A shallow sea of yellow smiley faces, self-help gurus, and purveyors of kitchen-table wisdom have strip-mined the science, extracted a lot of fool's gold, and stormed the marketplace with guarantees to annihilate your worry, stress, anguish, dejection, and even ennui. Once and for all! All it takes is a little gratitude. Or maybe a lot.

But all is not necessarily well. According to some measures, as a nation we've grown sadder and more anxious during the same years that the happiness movement has flourished; perhaps that's why we've eagerly bought up its offerings. It may be that college students sign up for positive psychology lessons in droves because a full 15 percent of them report being clinically depressed.

There are those who see in the happiness brigade a glib and even dispiriting Pollyanna gloss. So it's not surprising that the happiness movement has unleashed a counterforce, led by a troika of academics. Jerome Wakefield of New York University and Allan Horwitz of Rutgers have penned The Loss of Sadness: How Psychiatry Transformed Normal Sorrow into Depressive Disorder, and Wake Forest University's Eric Wilson has written a defense of melancholy in Against Happiness. They observe that our preoccupation with happiness has come at the cost of sadness, an important feeling that we've tried to banish from our emotional repertoire.

Horwitz laments that young people who are naturally weepy after breakups are often urged to medicate themselves instead of working through their sadness. Wilson fumes that our obsession with happiness amounts to a "craven disregard" for the melancholic perspective that has given rise to our greatest works of art. "The happy man," he writes, "is a hollow man."

Both the happiness and anti-happiness forces actually agree on something important-that we Americans tend to grab superficial quick fixes such as extravagant purchases and fatty foods to subdue any negative feelings that overcome us. Such measures seem to hinge on a belief that constant happiness is somehow our birthright. Indeed, a body of research shows instant indulgences do calm us down--for a few moments. But they leave us poorer, physically unhealthy, and generally more miserable in the long run-and lacking in the real skills to get us out of our rut.

Happiness is not about smiling all of the time. It's not about eliminating bad moods, or trading your Tolstoy-inspired nuance and ambivalence toward people and situations for cheery pronouncements devoid of critical judgment. While the veritable experts lie in different camps and sometimes challenge one another, over the past decade they've together assembled big chunks of the happiness puzzle.

What is happiness? The most useful definition--and it's one agreed upon by neuroscientists, psychiatrists, behavioral economists, positive psychologists, and Buddhist monks--is more like satisfied or content than "happy" in its strict bursting-with-glee sense. It has depth and deliberation to it. It encompasses living a meaningful life, utilizing your gifts and your time, living with thought and purpose.

It's maximized when you also feel part of a community. And when you confront annoyances and crises with grace. It involves a willingness to learn and stretch and grow, which sometimes involves discomfort. It requires acting on life, not merely taking it in. It's not joy, a temporary exhilaration, or even pleasure, that sensual rush--though a steady supply of those feelings course through those who seize each day.

There has been real progress in understanding happiness and how to get it. Here are the greatest hits, as it were, that jump out from the research.

* Some People Are Born Happy SOME LUCKY SOULS really are born with brighter outlooks than others; they simply see beauty and opportunity where others home in on flaws and dangers. But those with a more ominous orientation can alter their outlook, at least to a point. They can learn to internally challenge their fearful thoughts and negative assumptions--"she thinks I'm an idiot," "I'm going to get fired," "I'll never be a good mom"--if not eliminate them altogether. Engaging in positive internal dialogue is actually a mark of the mentally healthy.

* Getting What You Want Doesn't Bring Lasting Happiness YOU THINK HAPPINESS would arrive if you were to win the lottery, or would forever fade away if your home were destroyed in a flood. But human beings are remarkably adaptable. After a variable period of adjustment, we bounce back to our previous level of happiness, no matter what happens to us. (There

are some scientifically proven exceptions, notably suffering the unexpected loss of a job or the loss of a spouse. Both events tend to permanently knock people down a notch.)

Our adaptability works in two directions. Because we are so adaptable, points out Sonja Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside, we quickly get used to many of the accomplishments we strive for in life, such as landing the big job or getting married. Soon after we reach a milestone, we start to feel that something is missing. We begin coveting another worldly possession or eyeing a social advancement. But such an approach keeps us tethered to the "hedonic treadmill," where happiness is always just out of reach, one toy or one notch away. It's possible to get off the treadmill entirely, Lyubomirsky says, by focusing on activities that are dynamic, surprising, and attention- absorbing, and thus less likely to bore us than, say, acquiring shiny stuff.

* Pain Is a Part of Happiness HAPPINESS IS NOT your reward for escaping pain. It demands that you confront negative feelings head-on, without letting them overwhelm you. Russ Harris, a medical doctor-cum-counselor and author of The Happiness Trap, calls popular conceptions of happiness dangerous because they set people up for a "struggle against reality." They don't acknowledge that real life is full of disappointments, loss, and inconveniences. "If you're going to live a rich and meaningful life," Harris says, "you're going to feel a full range of emotions."

The point isn't to limit that palette of feelings. After all, negative states cue us into what we value and what we need to change: Grief for a loved one proves how much we cherish our relationships. Frustration with several jobs in a row is a sign we're in the wrong careen Happiness would be meaningless if not for sadness: Without the contrast of darkness, there is no light.

* Mindfulness Brings Happiness MINDFULNESS, A MENTAL state of relaxed awareness of the present moment, marked by openness and curiosity toward your feelings rather than judgments of them, is a powerful tool for experiencing happiness when practiced regularly. "If you bring mindfulness to bear on negative feelings, they lose their impact. Just let them be there without struggling against them, and you'll eventually feel less anxiety and depression," Harris says. Don't banish your negative feelings, but don't let them get in the way of your taking productive actions, either.

* Happiness Lies in the Chase ACTION TOWARD GOALS other than happiness makes us happy. Though there is a place for vegging out and reading trashy novels, easy pleasures will never light us up the way mastering a new skill or building something from scratch will.

And it's not crossing the finish line that is most rewarding; it's anticipating achieving your goal. University of Wisconsin neuroscientist Richard Davidson has found that working hard toward a goal, and making progress to the point of expecting a goal to be realized, doesn't just activate positive feelings--it also suppresses negative emotions such as fear and depression.

* Yes, Money Buys Happiness--At Least Some Money and Some Happiness MONEY DOES BUY happiness, but only up to the point where it enables you to live comfortably. Beyond that, more cash doesn't boost your well-being. But generosity brings true joy, so striking it rich could in fact underwrite your happiness-if you were to give your wealth away.

* Happiness Is Relative

WHETHER OR NOT we are keeping up with the Joneses--a nagging thought known as status anxiety- affects how happy we are. Some are more obsessed with status than others, but we're all attuned to how we're doing in life relative to those around us. To stop status worries from gnawing at your happiness, choose your peer group carefully. Owning the smallest mansion in a gated community could make you feel worse off than buying the biggest bungalow in a less affluent neighborhood.

* Options Make Us Miserable WE'RE CONSTANTLY MAKING decisions, ranging from what to eat for dinner each night to whom we should marry, not to mention all those flavors of ice cream. We base many of our decisions on whether we think a particular preference will increase our wellbeing. Intuitively, we seem convinced that the more choices we have, the better off we'll ultimately be. But our world of unlimited opportunity imprisons us more than it makes us happy. In what Swarthmore psychologist Barry Schwartz calls "the paradox of choice," facing many possibilities leaves us stressed out-and less satisfied with whatever we do decide. Having too many choices keeps us wondering about all the opportunities missed.

* Happiness Is Other People POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGIST CHRIS Peterson, a professor at the University of Michigan, says the best piece of advice to come out of his field is to make strong personal relationships your priority. Good relationships are buffers against the damaging effects of all of life's inevitable letdowns and setbacks.

* Do Your Happiness Homework YOU CAN INCREASE positive feelings by incorporating a few proven practices into your routine. Lyubomirsky suggests you express your gratitude toward someone in a letter or in a weekly journal, visualize the best possible future for yourself once a week, and perform acts of kindness for others on a regular basis to lift your mood in the moment and over time. "Becoming happier takes work, but it may be the most rewarding and fun work you'll ever do," she says.

* Happiness Hinges on Your Time Frame FEELING HAPPY WHILE you carry out your day-to-day activities may not have much to do with how satisfied you feel in general. Time skews our perceptions of happiness. Parents look back warmly on their children's preschool years, for example. But Daniel Kahneman of Princeton University found that childcare tasks rank very low on the list of what makes people happy, below napping and watching TV. And yet, if you were to step back and evaluate a decade of your life, would a spirited stretch of raising children or a steady stream of dozing off on the couch each day in between soaps operas illustrate a "happier" time? Evaluate your well-being at the macro as well as the micro level to get the most accurate picture of your own happiness.

* You're Wrong About What Will Hake You Happy and You're Wrong About What Made You Happy HARVARD PSYCHOLOGIST Daniel Gilbert discovered a deep truth about happiness: Things are almost never as bad--or as good--as we expect them to be. Your promotion will be quite nice, but it won't be a 24-hour parade. Your breakup will be very hard, but also instructive, and maybe even energizing. We are terrible at predicting our future feelings accurately, especially if our predictions are based on our past experiences. The past exists in our memory, after all, and memory is not a reliable recording device: We recall beginnings and endings far more intensely than those long "middles," whether they're eventful or not. So the horrible beginning of your vacation will lead you astray in deciding the best place to go next year.

Gilbert's take-away advice is to forgo your own mental projections. The best predictor of whether you'll enjoy something is whether someone else enjoyed it. So simply ask your friend who went to Mexico if you, too, should go there on vacation.

* Happiness Is Embracing Your Natural Coping Style NOT EVERYONE CAN put on a happy face. Barbara Held, a professor of psychology at Bowdoin College, for one, rails against "the tyranny of the positive attitude" "Looking on the bright side isn't possible for some people and is even counterproductive," she insists. "When you put pressure on people to cope in a way that doesn't fit them, it not only doesn't work, it makes them feel like a failure on top of already feeling bad."

The one-size-fits-all approach to managing emotional life is misguided, agrees Julie Norem, author of The Positive Power of Negative Thinking. In her research, the Wellesley professor of psychology has shown that the defensive pessimism that anxious people feel can be harnessed to help them get things done, which in turn makes them happier. A naturally pessimistic architect, for example, can set low expectations for an upcoming presentation and review all of the bad outcomes that she's imagining, so that she can prepare carefully and increase her chances of success.

* Happiness Is Living Your Values IF YOU AREN'T living according to your values, you won't be happy, no matter how much you are achieving. Some people, however, aren't even sure what their values are. If you're one of them, Harris has a great question for you: "Imagine I could wave a magic wand to ensure that you would have the approval and admiration of everyone on the planet, forever. What, in that case, would you choose to do with your life?"

Once you've answered honestly, you can start taking steps toward your ideal vision of yourself. You can tape positive affirmations to your mirror, or you can cut up your advice books and turn them into a papier maché project. It doesn't matter, as long as you're living consciously. The state of happiness is not re ally a state at all. It's an ongoing personal experiment.

ON Valentine's Day 2003, Kris Carr got a surprise all right: a diagnosis of an incurable form of cancer. The doctor told Carr, then a 31-year-old actress who had starred in several Budweiser commercials, that she had 24 slow-growing tumors on her lungs and liver: a stage four sarcoma.

Immediately she launched a vigorous campaign toward wellness. She consulted with oncologists, a macrobiotic chef, an acupuncturist, and a shaggy-haired spiritual guru, among others, and documented her efforts in a film that aired on The Learning Channel, Crazy Sexy Cancer. Carr wasn't searching for joy--she was trying to save herself. But personal happiness was the by-product of her life overhaul.

Before her diagnosis, Carr was struggling emotionally but viewed changing her life as difficult, even impossible. Her good salary as a commercial actress didn't allay feelings of frustration and insecurity, given the grueling nature of auditioning. "For women, it's a line of work that is focused on physical appearance rather than substance. I was always being judged, and always waiting for permission from casting directors to do what I wanted to do. I probably got more rejections in one week than most people get in a lifetime." Yet to give up on performing, her childhood dream, didn't seem an option.

A true nature lover, Carr had nevertheless been living in New York City for more than a decade. Thoughts of moving to the country popped into her head from time to time, but she quickly shot them down; a rural existence couldn't be reconciled with the life of an actress.

Carr's social life was further fueling her insecurities. "I was dating guys who were basically vampires, just sucking the life out of me and then disappearing. I would think to myself, 'This guy treats me bad, but there's something exciting about him.' I was addicted to drama."

The shock of the diagnosis and the prospect of a much shorter life than she had ever imagined transformed Carr's inner voices into stentorian commands. She immediately sold her apartment and moved to Woodstock, a lush and funky community two hours north of the city. "I was like a plant moving toward the sunshine," she says. She ditched her cavalier boyfriend du jour and eventually married Brian, the sweet cameraman with whom she made her film. "In my pre-diagnosis life, I wouldn't have noticed Brian, because I wasn't responding to nice guys."

Carr's health today is remarkably robust--the tumors have not progressed. And her new career as a health advocate is flourishing: Her sassy, defiant voice brings resolve and comfort to many cancer patients, especially young women who don't want to sacrifice their vitality and attractiveness to the disease. Her latest book, Crazy Sexy Cancer Survivor: More Rebellion and Fire for Your Healing Journey, includes dating tips, raw food ideas, meditation tips, and advice on acceptance and forgiveness.

"I'm much happier now that I listen to my gut more, and now that I have the courage to think that my voice matters," Carr says. "In my old life, I was always trying to see if people liked me, if they accepted me. Now I speak from my heart."

When she goes to conferences about nutrition for cancer patients, "I'm the only person there without letters after my name," she says. "I have to trust that I'm smart and capable. Before, I would second- guess myself into inaction. Now I'm more willing to take risks."

Living with cancer is in itself not hard for her, she says, even though it is presumably a constant reminder of how fragile life is. "I'd rather have one phenomenal year than 90 mediocre ones. When you are really living, it really doesn't matter how long you're here."

IN 2005, Leo Babauta was a speechwriter for the governor of Guam, the U.S. territory where he'd grown up and still lives. He spent long hours at a stressful job he didn't really like, his kids were growing without him, and he was overweight and tired. "I just wasn't happy," Babauta says. Despite his prestigious position, "I was an underachiever. I was smart enough to do well, but I never felt motivated. None of what I was doing really excited me."

He did achieve one thing during that time: He quit smoking. "I did a lot of online research on changing habits," Babauta says. "I had always wanted to be disciplined, but I never was. I would start to get organized or to wake up earlier, but the efforts would always fall apart. It's not that I was a total loser; it was just difficult for me to stick to things. That's why it was so exciting to learn how."

Soon Babauta applied his new habit-cultivating skills to running, a pursuit for which he developed a burning passion. (He's currently training for his third marathon.) Then he began to eliminate his debts, to simplify his daily routine, to wake up earlier, and to rid his diet of meat.

Babauta concluded that achieving goals is the key to happiness, and that the key to reaching them is the cultivation of good habits through daily practice. "It is my belief that you must practice a habit, as focused as possible, every day for a month," enough time for the new behavior to take hold. "I also learned that you can get over your urges to engage in your old habits by riding them out and focusing on something else."

And, finally, he started his blog, Zen Habits (zenhabits.net). With more than 70,000 subscribers, the blog, which discusses productivity, motivation, and healthy eating, among other hot topics, is supporting Babauta, his wife, and his six children.

At first, his only readers were his wife and mother. "But pretty quickly," he reports, "a lot of people connected with the things I was writing about. I wasn't an expert. I practice what I preach. I'm human, and I share my failures and what I've learned from them." He insists he's "grown along with my readers, and improved my life with wisdom from them. That has been a wonderful thing for me."

True happiness came to Babauta after he clarified what is most important to him--spending time with his family, writing, reading, and running--and cut out nearly everything else.

"I don't watch TV. I don't talk to people on the phone. My Internet searches are all work-related," he says. "Most people have too much going on and not enough time for things that are truly important. Simplifying makes room for these important things. It also reduces stress and clutter, and that leads to a more peaceful life."

His work led to a publishing deal and a first book, The Power of Less, about learning to choose the essential and eliminate the nonessential. "No piece of advice is going to work for everybody," Babauta says. "I always tell people that you have to figure out what works for you. Also, you could read my blog or another one for years and not actually do anything. There's a bridge you have to cross, and to cross it, you need to feel excited about your goal. That's what helps you put thoughts into action."

GRETCHEN Rubin has a systematic mind. It got her into Yale Law School. It helped her clerk for Chief Justice Sandra Day O'Connor. It enabled her to write four critically acclaimed books. And it may help her find happiness.

"It wasn't that I was unhappy," Rubin says of a day three years ago when she realized she "should have been happier, considering what I had. I thought of something Colette had said on her deathbed: 'What a wonderful life I've had. I only wish I'd realized it sooner.'"

A superstar lawyer and then writer, Rubin didn't feel she was living up to her own standards as a wife, mother, friend, and creative intellectual. She kept thinking life was going to begin some day in the future when, in fact, "it was already here."

She didn't just let her insight fade; she unleashed her perfectionism on it. First, she set out to study happiness. Then, for a year, she test-drove "every principle, tip, theory, and scientific study I could find, from Aristotle to St. Therese to Martin Seligman to Oprah." She chronicled her quest online (www.happiness-project.com) and in an upcoming book.

Staying happy is labor-intensive-every day Rubin checks off compliance with eight resolutions, each revolving around a theme she changes monthly: "Sing in the morning" (to become a more cheerful mom), "read memoirs of catastrophe" (to see the preciousness of ordinary days). "Filling out the resolution chart is a tremendous burden," Rubin says. "But it's incredibly important because it's a way to track manageable, concrete actions."

Rubin's most successful uppers to date include a few classics: Getting more sleep and exercising more. Both calm her and raise her energy level.

Some realizations have been painful, such as seeing how quick she was to get angry. "I felt guilty, but then I felt better once I saw I could change." Resolutions: "Don't use my husband as a dumping ground" and "Don't talk about annoyances." She's also learned to avert situations that spark her temper. "I don't let myself get too hungry. I've stopped drinking, since it made me more belligerent."

Another favorite tactic is acting the way she wishes she felt. "If I'm intensely annoyed with my husband, I'll write him a cute e-mail about something that happened. It releases me from my feelings, even if I have to push myself to do it." His invariably lighthearted responses further lift her mood.

Feeling vexed about taking her daughter to the doctor, she pretends she's looking forward to it. "This technique is so powerful, because soon I start to realize that it's true; I don't want someone else taking my daughter to her appointments, after all."

Rubin has become "a huge evangelist for happiness." She advises others to identify one thing that's bringing them down, whether it's eating junk food or spending too much money, and commit to fixing that problem. "Tell your friends so you have a bit of accountability."

Rubin's happiness formula exemplifies the purposeful, if not always pleasant, life: "To be happier, you need to think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth."

"What's right might not necessarily make you feel good," she stresses. For example, people hate commutes, but they make them to live in a good school district or to give their kids a yard. It's a source of feeling bad, but it's often the right thing to do as a parent."

"Happiness Is elusive, always just out of reach," she says. "That's why it's important to have a feeling of progress, of growth and change for the better. That could be learning something new, or having an actual garden, or just noticing your children maturing. Even if a life feels right, it's not going to bring happiness if it's stagnant."

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~~~~~~~~ By Carlin Flora

Photo Illustrations By Dan Winters

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