Business Psychology Reflection Paper
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PurposeMaps.docxThe method we used in class is adapted from Immunity to Change: How to Overcome It and Unlock the Potential in Yourself and Your Organization (Links to an external site.)Links to an external site. . In class, we used one approach for cultivating a sense of purpose. If you would like additional reflection time for your own sense of purpose, I recommend using the following prompt below.
Reflections for cultivating a sense of purpose
1. When were you last thrown off in your pursuit of a purpose?
2. What was your response? What did you see, hear, and feel? Did you have a stress response (such as fight, flight, freeze, or appease)?
3. To what degree has this response occurred in other instances? Is it a pattern for you?
4. How satisfied are you with your response in that moment?
5. How would you like to respond in a moment like that?
Example. I wanted to lead my project team smoothly. A teammate criticized one of my decisions in front of the group. And then I froze up. I looked like a deer in headlights. I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. I’ve frozen up before, but years ago, and only in a couple of client presentations. If a senior client expressed disappointment in our work product, I would get really tense. I am totally dissatisfied with my response in this current situation. I would like to respond in a cool headed and open way, accept the criticism, and let the person know I can reorient without a problem.
Your responses to Reflections 1 and 5 will form the basis of the work below. Your response to Reflection 2 provides the context for behavioral change. Your responses to Reflections 3 and 4 indicate how persistent this issue is in your life (and thus, whether or not to explore this issue in the course).
Before proceeding, create a four-column table like the one below.
(TABLE ATTACHED IN DIFFERENT FILE)
Based on your responses to Reflections 1 and 5, you can complete the Impact column:
· What would using that skill or quality look and sound like? The more concretely you can describe purpose in action, the more precisely you will identify your areas of resistance and design tests to let go of that resistance.
Example. I would like to handle criticism more smoothly for the sake of managing relationships better and being a better people leader. I would look calm, open, and curious, and would show the person that I hear them and am willing to make things right.
To complete the Mastery column, list out what you are doing that undercuts improvement in the Impact column. Then, list out what you are not doing that undercuts improvement in the Impact column.
Example. What I do: a) I immediately go into my head and think about what I could have possibly done wrong. b) I list reasons in my mind for how this person is wrong or dumb. c) I just respond with “ok ok”. What I don’t do: d) I stop breathing. e) I stop listening to what the person is saying. f) I don’t ask for what they would have liked to see.
To complete the upper half of the Belonging column, list out all the assessments you make in this situation. You can do that by envisioning what would happen if you did the opposite of the actions you listed in the Mastery column and then asking yourself “What is the worst possible outcome if I did the opposite of what I do now?” You can summarize these as worries or fears (e.g. “I am worried that…” or “I am afraid of…”). In other words, what do you see and hear in the Mastery column that leads you to feel worry or fear in the Belonging column? The more concretely you can specify your answers, the more precisely you can design your experiments later in the process.
Example. a) If I did the opposite of immediately going into my head and thinking about what I could have possibly done wrong, then I would likely be listening carefully to what the person is telling me. The worst possible outcome of that is that they are correctly pointing out that I am wrong, careless, or stupid. b) If I did the opposite of listing reasons in my mind for how this person is wrong or dumb, then it’s like my answer to (a). c) If I did the opposite of just responding with “ok ok”, then I would ask what they would like to see happen. The worst possible outcome of that is that I will not be able to deliver on what they want and so I will look inadequate or incompetent. d) If I did the opposite of stopping breathing, I would likely scream at the person or maybe even cry. That’s pretty bad. e) If I did the opposite of stopping listening to what the person is saying then it’s like my answer to (a). f) If I did the opposite of not asking for what they would have liked to see, then it’s like my answer to (c).
I am afraid of being seen as wrong, careless, or stupid
I am afraid of being seen as inadequate or incompetent
I am worried that I will scream at someone
I am worried that I might cry
Next, complete the lower half of the Belonging column. You can do this taking the fears and worries from the upper half of the column and framing them as commitments. These commitments will typically use the frame “I am committed to not feel” or “I am committed to not being seen as”, because they ensure we avoid certain experiences in our lives. Occasionally, they will use the frame “I am committed to not [doing something]”.
Example
I am committed to not being seen as wrong, careless, or stupid.
I am committed to not being seen as inadequate or incompetent.
I am committed to not screaming at people.
I am committed to not crying.
This approach surfaces the standards through which we see the world and make choices. We will avoid making choices that violate these standards. Very likely, we believe these standards support our experience of Belonging in our social worlds. When we look at the Mastery column, we can see that our actions masterfully execute to our standards at the expense of the Impact that we seek to have on ourselves and in the world. In order to create harmony across Impact, Mastery, and Belonging, we will first need to appreciate the limits of our Autonomy, as this will point out the limits of what we see as possible in our lives.
To complete the Autonomy column, take the standards from the bottom half of the Belonging column, replace the stem “I am committed to not” with the stem “I assume that if I am” stem.
Example
I assume that if I am seen as wrong, careless, or stupid…
I assume that I am seen as inadequate or incompetent…
I assume that if I scream at people…
I assume that if I cry…
Next, imagine the worst possible outcome that could happen to you in this scenario. Add that to the stem.
Example
I assume that if I am seen as wrong, careless, or stupid, then I will never be invited into leading edge work and my career will be over before it’s even begun
I assume that I am seen as inadequate or incompetent, then I will be fired and will lose all remaining self-confidence
I assume that if I scream at people, I will seen as a loose cannon and people will avoid working with me
I assume that if I cry, people will believe that I cannot hold myself together, and they’ll never want me to lead them
Pause for a moment to let your reflections wash over you. These are the “Big Assumptions” that shape your experience of Autonomy. They both create and cut off possibilities in your pursuit of meaningful work. Since this course supports personal development, I invite you to reflect on the limitations that these Big Assumptions put on your life. Put differently, if you hold these Big Assumptions, what risks are not possible for you to take in your pursuit of meaningful work?
During this course, you will design two safe-to-fail experiments that test a Big Assumption. One way to choose a Big Assumption to test is to assess them for the presence of three qualities:
1. Pervasiveness (i.e. If “X” happens, then everyone will know!)
2. Permanence (i.e. If “X” happens, then it’s over. No turning back. No way to recover.)
3. Polarity (i.e. if “X” happens, then it’s fight or die, courage or cowardice, stay silent or speak up and be punished.)
In the example, the first two Big Assumptions show permanence, the third one shows pervasiveness, and the fourth one shows permanence and polarity. Since each Big Assumption has at least one of these three qualities, testing any of them will support this individual’s personal development.
