Global Societal Problem, Argument and Solution Refugee Crisis need in 36 hours

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ProofreadJournal.pdf

Proofed Paper: ntp617467 - Mon May 13 17:56:25 EDT 2019

Paper Title:

No. of Pages: 0

Paper Style: APA Paper Type: N/A

Taken English? Yes English as Second Language? No

Feedback Areas: General, N/A

Paper Goals: This is a journal on the refugee crisis. I need to see if there are any mistakes

before I use this for my final paper.

Proofing Summary:

Hi Alejandra,

I’m Jay, your composition tutor for the Writing Center. I have reviewed your submission and have several

suggestions that will help you revise. Please feel free to contact us through a live chat session with any follow-up

questions or for any clarification.

Below, you will find a revision plan along with margin comments within your paper. Use my suggestions as a

starting point for the revision process. Also, please note that I have not edited or proofread the entire draft for

minor errors, but rather, focused on overall concerns such as idea development. For a complete look at your

grammar and punctuation, please use the Grammarly software available under “Writing Center” in your classroom.

You have done a nice job of discussing your information and ideas about the refugee crisis. You did a good job

using specific details from your research throughout your paper, which offers a strong foundation for the

development of your writing.

For your revisions, I suggest focusing on:

1. Keep in mind that for this assignment, your thesis should state your proposed solutions to the problem

regarding the refugee crisis. By discussing your solutions, you can more effectively lead up to your argument and

discussion, while also ensuring your thesis meets the requirements for your final paper.

2. To keep your writing on the right track, consider expanding more on the points and information you bring up

throughout your paper. Explaining in more depth about why the refugee crisis is a global, societal problem can

help you strengthen your section about background information, while discussing your supporting points for your

two solutions can help you further develop your argument. As you continue to work on this paper, also include a

discussion about the ethical outcomes of your two solutions and evaluate evidence from your research. This can

help ensure you're meeting all of the topic requirements for your final paper. Information about strengthening your

body paragraphs can be found here:

http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/body-paragraphs

Good luck in the course, and I hope we can help you with your next assignment.

Jay,

Writing Consultant

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Proofed Paper: ntp617467 - Mon May 13 17:56:25 EDT 2019

To keep your writing on

the right track, your

introduction should end

with a thesis statement

that explains the two

solutions you have to

address the refugee

crisis. This can help

your thesis more

accurately reflect your

argument.

When a source has 3-5

authors, list out all the

names the first time you

mention them. After that,

only write out the first

author's name followed by

"et al." For more information

about this, click here:

http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/citing-within-your-paper

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Proofed Paper: ntp617467 - Mon May 13 17:56:25 EDT 2019

To strengthen this first

part of your paper,

consider expanding more

about the specific issue

you're focusing on

regarding the refugee

crisis, as well as why it's

a global societal issue.

Be sure to format your level headings according to APA

guidelines. For help with this, click here:

http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/apa-style-elements

Generally, your topic

sentences should explain

what the paragraph is about.

This can help you more

effectively transition to this

paragraph's discussion about

your first solution.

Information about structuring

and strengthening your

paragraphs can be found

here:

http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/body-paragraphs

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Proofed Paper: ntp617467 - Mon May 13 17:56:25 EDT 2019

All the sources you cite in

your paper should be

included in your reference

page.

To strengthen your

argument for your solutions,

consider expanding more

on the points and

information you bring up to

help further develop your

support. In general,

discussing your ideas and

supporting evidence in

more depth can be an

effective way to further

strengthen the topic

development of your

writing.

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Proofed Paper: ntp617467 - Mon May 13 17:56:25 EDT 2019

Generally, your

conclusion should only be

one paragraph that

rephrases your thesis,

briefly summarizes the

main points of your

argument for your two

solutions, and goes over

your final thoughts about

the crisis. This can help

you more effectively wrap

up your paper. Information

about structuring your

conclusion can be found

here:

http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/introductions-conclusions

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Proofed Paper: ntp617467 - Mon May 13 17:56:25 EDT 2019

Your references should start at the top of the page

and the title would be centered. Each reference

should consistently follow APA style as well. For

help with formatting, click here:

http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/format-your-reference-list

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