Global Societal Problem, Argument and Solution Refugee Crisis need in 36 hours
Proofed Paper: ntp617467 - Mon May 13 17:56:25 EDT 2019
Paper Title:
No. of Pages: 0
Paper Style: APA Paper Type: N/A
Taken English? Yes English as Second Language? No
Feedback Areas: General, N/A
Paper Goals: This is a journal on the refugee crisis. I need to see if there are any mistakes
before I use this for my final paper.
Proofing Summary:
Hi Alejandra,
I’m Jay, your composition tutor for the Writing Center. I have reviewed your submission and have several
suggestions that will help you revise. Please feel free to contact us through a live chat session with any follow-up
questions or for any clarification.
Below, you will find a revision plan along with margin comments within your paper. Use my suggestions as a
starting point for the revision process. Also, please note that I have not edited or proofread the entire draft for
minor errors, but rather, focused on overall concerns such as idea development. For a complete look at your
grammar and punctuation, please use the Grammarly software available under “Writing Center” in your classroom.
You have done a nice job of discussing your information and ideas about the refugee crisis. You did a good job
using specific details from your research throughout your paper, which offers a strong foundation for the
development of your writing.
For your revisions, I suggest focusing on:
1. Keep in mind that for this assignment, your thesis should state your proposed solutions to the problem
regarding the refugee crisis. By discussing your solutions, you can more effectively lead up to your argument and
discussion, while also ensuring your thesis meets the requirements for your final paper.
2. To keep your writing on the right track, consider expanding more on the points and information you bring up
throughout your paper. Explaining in more depth about why the refugee crisis is a global, societal problem can
help you strengthen your section about background information, while discussing your supporting points for your
two solutions can help you further develop your argument. As you continue to work on this paper, also include a
discussion about the ethical outcomes of your two solutions and evaluate evidence from your research. This can
help ensure you're meeting all of the topic requirements for your final paper. Information about strengthening your
body paragraphs can be found here:
http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/body-paragraphs
Good luck in the course, and I hope we can help you with your next assignment.
Jay,
Writing Consultant
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Proofed Paper: ntp617467 - Mon May 13 17:56:25 EDT 2019
To keep your writing on
the right track, your
introduction should end
with a thesis statement
that explains the two
solutions you have to
address the refugee
crisis. This can help
your thesis more
accurately reflect your
argument.
When a source has 3-5
authors, list out all the
names the first time you
mention them. After that,
only write out the first
author's name followed by
"et al." For more information
about this, click here:
http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/citing-within-your-paper
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Proofed Paper: ntp617467 - Mon May 13 17:56:25 EDT 2019
To strengthen this first
part of your paper,
consider expanding more
about the specific issue
you're focusing on
regarding the refugee
crisis, as well as why it's
a global societal issue.
Be sure to format your level headings according to APA
guidelines. For help with this, click here:
http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/apa-style-elements
Generally, your topic
sentences should explain
what the paragraph is about.
This can help you more
effectively transition to this
paragraph's discussion about
your first solution.
Information about structuring
and strengthening your
paragraphs can be found
here:
http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/body-paragraphs
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Proofed Paper: ntp617467 - Mon May 13 17:56:25 EDT 2019
All the sources you cite in
your paper should be
included in your reference
page.
To strengthen your
argument for your solutions,
consider expanding more
on the points and
information you bring up to
help further develop your
support. In general,
discussing your ideas and
supporting evidence in
more depth can be an
effective way to further
strengthen the topic
development of your
writing.
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Proofed Paper: ntp617467 - Mon May 13 17:56:25 EDT 2019
Generally, your
conclusion should only be
one paragraph that
rephrases your thesis,
briefly summarizes the
main points of your
argument for your two
solutions, and goes over
your final thoughts about
the crisis. This can help
you more effectively wrap
up your paper. Information
about structuring your
conclusion can be found
here:
http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/introductions-conclusions
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Proofed Paper: ntp617467 - Mon May 13 17:56:25 EDT 2019
Your references should start at the top of the page
and the title would be centered. Each reference
should consistently follow APA style as well. For
help with formatting, click here:
http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/format-your-reference-list
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