revise my original manuscript. 3

Yaochi 1 Li, Yaochi

Writing 1A

November 13th, 2018

Revised Draft for Project 3

Should We Stop Using Smartphone ?

With the development of science and technology, smartphones become one of the main

tools, which people use everyday. According to surveys, personal interviews and research done

by professional people, the existence of the mobile phone negatively impact teenagers’

psychology. These convenient devices prevent minor’s normal communication with friends and

family, and electronic devices keep them away from regular social activities, which helps them

to grow. However, the idea of smartphone’s disadvantage is not the whole story. The situation is

much more complicated than what we thought. The data given by different studies may not be

completely accurate, and some of them might just show more extreme cases, which can not

reflect the overall situation of the whole society. Therefore, smartphones should not be

categorized as the main culprit of teenagers’ anxiety due to inaccurate information, and taking

away young people’s phone may, on the other hand, induce the mental health issue. Besides, we

do not truly know the causation of young people’s mental problem.

Sometimes news and even scientific reports exaggerate the issue. The data comes out

from numerous studies but may still include mistakes. According to ​The Big Myth About

Teenage Anxiety​, author Richard A. Friedman clarifies that few evidence shows smartphone’s

dramatic influence on children. Besides, “the self-reported measures” are the survey and

questionnaire that done by respondents themselves through internet. The surveys are more based

Yaochi 2 on children and parents’ response, which more rely on personal attitude rather than true situation

(Friedman, 2). Friedman emphasizes a point that has been ignored by most of us: the accuracy

and significance of these surveys. Usually, the social surveys are done by parents and children

through the internet, and researchers won’t be able to see people’s emotions when they answer

the questions. Hence, the situation indirectly can affect the original result: even the normal stress

and anxiety were caused due to mobile phones. Worse than that, people trust the data and show

the information to the masses. People begin to misunderstand digital technologies because they

believe youngster’s depression can be as worse as what the data described. The

misunderstanding is quite unnecessary, and if people trying to cease the production of mobile

phones, everything will get even worse. It is just like you are trying to cure a normal person

without any disease. However, after a long term of struggle in the hospital, they finally get

unhealthy due to the side effect of various medicines. Since the inaccurate data and expert’s

exaggerated rhetoric, many peaceful lives will get disturbed because of the unnecessary

commotion. Therefore, what is the point of us to keep on worrying about the effect of

smartphones when we are not confident about our proof?

However, experts like Jean M. Twenge, an American psychologists and professor,

disagree with this idea. Twenge keeps on complaining about how smartphone negatively impact

teenagers’ normal life. According to ​Have Smartphones Destroyed a Generation?​, Twenge

mentions how new generations are getting more and more unhappy because of the smartphone.

Since the existence of developed electronic devices, minors become more depressed because

smartphone isolate them from the world (Twenge, 4). Twenge’s observation and point of view

are based on numerous research results and personal interviews. However, even her idea about

Yaochi 3 mobile phone induce youngsters’ mental problem is well-organized and can be convinced by

other, she ignores that there might be other factors that can cause the issue. For instance, in

China, people constantly send their children to different cram schools due to the increasing

academic pressure. Children do not make any friends since they do not have time. As a result,

they spend a tiny amount of time playing some video games on their phone to release their stress

and anxiety. The example tells us instead of judging smartphones as a culprit, we see that these

special technologies somehow help some of us to relax a little bit from a long-term study period.

We need to try to look at one certain problem from different aspects. Instead of limiting on one

single factor, we should enlarge our vision so that we will be able to see the whole problem more

clearly and precisely. By viewing the issue thoroughly, we get a chance to dig deeper and figure

out suitable strategies to solve the problem.

Unfortunately, not all of us are willing to do so. Nowadays, some parents still believe

that banning the utilization of mobile phones work, but the idea never works for young people’s

depression. It is wrong to reverse the modern footstep back to late twentieth century. Based on

Don’t Take Away Your Teen’s​ ​Phone, ​Lisa Guernsey asserts that “parents can’t wrench the

phones out of teens’ hands and tell them to go straight back to 1985”(Guernsey 1). Prohibiting

children from using mobile phones brings their life all the way back to the time when digital

technology hadn’t been developed yet. Her idea give us an important point that the times are

constantly moving forward, but a great deal of people wants to move backwards. Some parents

may say they have been forced to take away children’s mobile phone under the continuous

pressure, which directly comes from various study and research results. The problem is: is that a

right choice for us to take away young people’s phone? If they do not have any smartphone,

Yaochi 4 would they be able to join a group of minors that have cell phone on their hand? Some of them

who have been forced to get rid of their mobile phone will, on the other hand, more easily lose

their friends. Smartphones are already one of their important tools, and it is the symbol showing

they are following the step of modern day. If you don’t have facebook, you will be an outsider

because most of people around you are using facebook to communicate with each other. Being

an outsider will also induce young people’s loneliness, and they will become more addicted to

something virtual like video games. The key point for solving some bad phenomena in the

society is not preventing something but to analyze the issue more deeply and come out with an

appropriate solution.

Mobile phones may or may not cause young people’s depression, but there must be other

factors that trigger the issue. Depending on unreliable information, people didn’t come out

applicable explanation for the issue of young people at all. Therefore, scientist and any other

professional people in the field of psychological and technological study should try their best to

figure out the truth behind the screen before publishing their results.