Business Research Homework
bryansbb
Professorsfeedback.docx· Many of your data points were not connected - it was a compilation of data points. For example, you mentioned the chocolate business and it did not tie with the previous paragraph. In your industry perspective section, you started with Hershey's - it did not make sense at all.
· You repeated data from sources you used, not much synthesis.
· You indicated Conagra used "wrong material" all throughout the paper - this did not make sense at all (or if true, no evidence was presented which means, lawsuits should have been a big part of your story).
· Your weighted criteria table does not accurately reflect all solution options you listed in the paragraph just before the table. In your weighted criteria table, you had "Cost Effective" "Minimum Impact", and "Increasing Revenue" - these are not solutions. (Increasing number of retailers is correct, Upgrade organizational structure is correct, but having these side by side with incorrect solution options like "Minimum Impact" basically makes your calculations flawed.)
· Benefits section - there was no explanation for the 50% increase in revenue assumption
· Recommendation section, Implementation Plan - not clear what Conagra needs to negotiate with other food industries and competitors
· There were several missing in-text citations. Also, several of your in-text citations were not in the Bibliography; any in-text citation should be the very first word for every Bibliography entry.
· Your Bibliography is incorrect - among others, it should be alphabetized, feedback that I've called out in your previous homework.
· There are serious flow issues in your paragraphs, i.e. disjointed.
· Appendix I - this was just data; I advised you to process the data and create a chart and analyze; also, your 2013-05 column should actually be 2017 revenue. Also, remember, I advised you to present years left to right in ascending order.
· Appendix II - purely data; I advised you to process the data and create a chart and analyze.
· Appendix III - I advised you to present the years left to right in ascending order.
· On page 11 of your paper, in the top paragraph, you said, "Gross profit is increasing which means they used wrong materials to process their products..." Wrong materials do not make sense. Also, in Appendix 1, since you mislabeled the column headings, you thought that gross profit was increasing.
