Need corrections and improvements for final research- Composition

You have created an outline so that your paper is a mirror image of it. Your thesis announces the purpose of the entire essay. It must be in the Introduction. Each discussion paragraph must begin with a topic sentence that announces the purpose of that paragraph. Within each paragraph you need to use research and analysis to prove your topic sentence. I have made comments on almost all of this draft. However, the paragraphs with no comments are not automatically correct. Revision needs to be made throughout this essay, in every paragraph. Each point raised in a research paper can be discussed in more than one paragraph because of the depth that is needed in your analysis. However, each paragraph subsequently developed as a continuation of a previous paragraph must have a transition word or phrase that connects it with the previous paragraph's main idea.