Writing Portfolio

Comments in essay 1

- This essay shows that you clearly grasp the important points of the play, and it brings up a potentially interesting argument about "Trifles." As you revise this essay for your Final Portfolio, try to explain your ideas in more detail and to use more textual evidence to make your argument clearer. You could also try bringing in some more support from the background readings that we did for "Trifles," to help show your readers women's position in society and in a court of law at the time that this play is set.

Comments in essay 2 This essay starts out with a good question to provide focus, but as the essay progresses, it doesn't really stick to this focus. I think part of the problem here may be that you did not entirely understand what the assignment was asking you to do for this essay. So the first step in revising would be to go back and read the Essay Topic and Requirements page again. Since it seems like your main focus in this essay is going to be on Disney's adaptation of Beauty and the Beast, try making a list of specific ways (like adding a "villain" in the character of Gaston, which was a good point to bring up) that Disney has changed things from Beaumont's 1757 written version to their 1991 animated film. Then think about how these changes have either improved or detracted from the story. The other thing that needs work in this essay is the research component. The assignment requirements state that you need to use at least three secondary/critical sources. These would be books, articles, or web pages that discuss one or both versions of Beauty and the Beast, or Disney's approach to adapting fairy tales in general. Right now all of the sources listed in your works cited are primary sources. Primary sources are the texts that you are analyzing, and while you do need to include at least two primary sources in this essay, adding additional stories like "Little Red Riding Hood" and Cinderella can just confuse readers, or cause your essay to lose its focus.