argument essay lzy continued work to extend over 2500 words

PRO’s Commments

Please remove internal headings, as pointed out on your Midterm. They are not included in MLA in an essay of this length. Please note that my grade on this is merely a participation grade. If you met the minimum and turned it in, you got the points. Getting a good score is not reflective of the quality or lack of quality of your draft. Please take into account the comments of your peer reviewers, as well as your own learning in the course thus far to ensure that you are meeting the requirements of both quality and quantity on your final essays.

Hi Longzhe! I feel like your arguments, counterarguments, and responses are all well thought out. I think for a research paper you don't need the section headers and paragraph headers. It seems that the information conveyed by your paragraph headers is contained in the text anyway, and the breaks take away from the flow of your paper. There were a few factoids that may or may not need a citation, I marked the one about the Amazon, but I know for a lot of people that seems like common knowledge. For the in-text citations, if the author is mentioned in the text, you just need to put the page number(s) referenced in parentheses, not the year of publication. I marked all of them so they would be easy to find.

1. 1You need more information and more examples to back up your general statements.

2. 2. Correct citations for articles with more than one author.

3. Do not continue to repeat the same point Let me know if you have any questions about these goals, or need some help in figuring out how to address them.