Revamp Completed Capstone Assignment

This assignment required two parts, a review of the literature you have explored for your final project and an annotated bibliography of the sources listed.

As with the prior assignment, I have included the original instructions below and added my comments related to your draft following asterisks (***) as appropriate.

Your draft of Chapter 2 was required to be structured according to the outline given below, which lists the different subheadings you need to include. The explanations given provide guidance regarding what information to include under each of these subheadings:

· · Introductory paragraph - Begin with an introductory paragraph and place the informative thesis statement at the end of that first paragraph. The thesis statement is the major focus of the literature review chapter. All paragraphs relate in some way to that thesis statement.

***It’s good that you focus here on introducing the literature review.  Don’t, though, draw conclusions in the introduction; rather, you should restate the topic and the purpose of the review, state the main ideas to be explored, etc.

· · Body paragraphs - Each body paragraph must begin with a topic sentence and end with a concluding sentence. See pp. 183-184 of the Writing the Winning Thesis or Dissertation textbook. Every paragraph must contain information you have read in sources. Do not use more than 10% quotes in the entire chapter. Every paragraph must have citations for all paraphrased information. Do not use any of your own opinions or experiences. This is purely information from researched sources.

***This is an ok start, but it would help if you grouped the research found and organized the chapter using headings.  It seems, for example, one section could be related to the statistics (how many, etc.), another section to the anatomy and physiology at work, and a third to societal structures.

***Each of those areas should be explored further, with resources each being objectively reviewed and all analysis being saved for the end of each section and/or the concluding section of the chapter.

***Statements such as “Previous research has demonstrated…” draws a conclusion and both needs to be supported by citations back to that “previous research” and should be in a concluding section and not a body paragraph.

***Proofread carefully (“pattern” is spelled “patter,” when a resource is cited for the first time all authors must be listed, etc.).

***The conclusion that there is a gap in the existing research must be more clearly shown, as there is no indication in the review of where the gaps are, what we don’t yet know, etc.

· · Concluding paragraph End with a concluding paragraph that begins with a restatement of your thesis sentence that you used in the introduction. Add nothing new to the conclusion. It is a summary of the body paragraphs.

***As mentioned above, the conclusion is ok but seems to support the existence of a good bit of research surrounding this issue; the challenge here is to show a unique contribution of this project.

· · As per the readings, the body of the literature review (part I) should be ~10 pages and, overall, you should use 15 or more resources.

***The body of your review is only ~3 pages and only 6 resources have been identified (a resource listed on the references page does not appear on your bibliography).

Part II: Annotated Bibliography

Prepare an Annotated Bibliography of sources based on the references you used for Part I: Literature Review. For an example of what this involves, see "Develop an Annotated Bibliography," p. 70, in the Writing the Winning Thesis or Dissertation textbook.

***Good, though more resources are needed and this list should be in alphabetical order.

Tarah, this is a good start but much more depth is needed throughout, as are additional resources.  The writing throughout can also be more organized, and it is important that a conclusion clearly shows how the research reviewed shows a need for this project.

I do have to note this was submitted late (the grade would have been a 75 had this been submitted on time).