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1 Your Proposal Introduction
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Introductions Hook the Reader Identify the subject Provide any necessary context regarding the subject/problem (what series of events led you to write a proposal). Focus the audience’s attention (understand the audience’s need, determine what they will find important or interesting). 2
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3 Long Winded Intro Revised for interest, clarity, and brevity Best Intros Get To The Point PROBLEM LA Fitness is a fabulous gym with everything needed for an excellent workout. From a variety of free-weights and workout machines to cardio equipment, and even exercise classes and a state of the art pool. Unfortunately, where LA Fitness falls short is with the showers. Only the handicap stall is actually designed with safety in mind. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, every year about 235,000 people over age of 15 visit emergency rooms because of injuries suffered in the bathroom, and almost 14 percent are hospitalized. More than a third of the injuries happen while bathing or showering. Injuries increase with age, peaking after 85, the researchers found. What this means for LA Fitness, is that by only having one shower with safety grab bars and benches, they are risking possible lawsuits if guests end up falling in one of the showers. PROBLEM The only shower stall in LA Fitness designed for safety is the handicap stall. This is a problem because, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, every year about 235,000 people over age of 15 visit emergency rooms for injuries suffered in the bathroom, and almost 14 percent are hospitalized. More than a third of the injuries happen while bathing or showering. Injuries increase with age, peaking after 85, the researchers found. What this means for LA Fitness is that management should consider installing safety grab bars and benches to all shower stalls to avoid possible lawsuits should a guest fall and become injured. Safety grab bars prevent falls because . . . Benches allow those with balance issues to . . . Guest safety should be the first priority, yet this has not been considered once the guest leaves the workout area.
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Writing Well Good writers make it easy to read and follow their text Explain Be clear – sentences should be easy to read Give details You might need to provide background history or information You might have to explain how a process works or does not work Describe Language – be specific and use your senses – use analogies (speed bumps are needed because people drive as if they are getting onto a freeway onramp) Examples Visuals – how does something look; how will it look? Define Terms and concepts must be defined 4
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Show, Don’t Tell Show readers the problem. Make them feel it. Show them why it should matter to them. What are they losing? The most persuasive arguments establish a NEED for your recommendation, and provide convincing, objective EVIDENCE. Show them how your solution will save them from the hell of the problem you mentioned in your problem section Be as detailed and specific as possible Avoid using works like: stuff, things, it. Instead name the object, idea, issue, etc. Not : The backroom must be remodeled because people keep their things laying around. Instead : The backroom must be remodeled because people leave their backpacks and purses on our only workspace since employees don’t have a specific storage area. 5
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Keep Your Audience in Mind What does the reader already know about the issue outlined in your proposal? How much information will my readers need to understand the subject or to be persuaded or informed by my idea? What is the best way to clearly present this material? What are the reader’s feelings about the topic? Have they also noticed a problem? Sympathetic? Hostile? Remember to keep in mind international readers – address language and cultural differences if needed. 6
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Considering Purpose What is my purpose in writing this document? What do I want my readers to do after reading it? Do I want them to perform a task? Obtain basic information? Investigate a problem? Make a decision? What objections might your readers have to the subject or proposed idea? 7 When preparing to write a draft, ask yourself the following questions:
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Writing Your Introduction Under PROBLEM: Clearly explain the problem you plan to solve. Without being wordy, give specific and needed details and background to help me see and feel the problem. For your rough draft, write as much as you can Then under the heading of PURPOSE, persuasively discuss the purpose of your proposal – how will you solve the problem? What solution will you present in the rest of your paper? This page (or two sometimes) should feel like a true introduction to your proposal. It should excite the reader; make the reader curious; make the reader what to understand the problem better; make them want to see how you will solve the problem. 8
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Importance of Visuals Keep in mind the design of your document when you are writing. Include enough white space to avoid a page with too much print. White space between paragraphs helps readers see the information. Tables, charts, graphs, illustrations, maps help readers visualize what is presented in your text. If you use visuals, make reference to them in your text. 9
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ppt/slideLayouts/slideLayout11.xml
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ppt/slideLayouts/slideLayout12.xml
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Moral of the story: you don’t need a running start – say what needs to be said, and move on. 3
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Chapter One WCU Liliana Monteil-Doucette 185 1999-01-30T16:20:56Z 1998-10-28T18:28:36Z 2022-03-15T02:01:22Z
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