Conflict Resolution



Inappropriate Methods That Deter Cooperation

Method Example Blaming and


“Look at the dirty footprints you put on my clean kitchen floor. You never

consider how hard I work.”

Name-calling “You are the sloppiest person, just look at your room!”

Threats “If you don’t start doing your share around here, I’m going to cut your


Commands “Take the garbage out this minute, and no back talk, young man.”

Lecturing and


“Now, do you think that was a nice thing to say about your friend? You

should learn to treat your friends the way you want to be treated.”

Warnings “Don’t step off the sidewalk. You’ll get hit by a car.”

Martyrdom “Why are you doing this to me, hard as I work?”

Comparisons “Why can’t you try as hard in school as your sister does?”

Sarcasm “You knew you had to get up early, but you were so smart and stayed up

until midnight.”

Prophecy “If you continue in the same manner, you’ll never amount to anything.”

Skills for Engaging Cooperation Skill Example Describe what you

see or the problem

“Your dirty clothes are on the floor in your room.”

Give information “The battery in the flashlight will last longer when you turn it off after each


Say it with a word. (when milk is left out of the refrigerator) “Susie, the milk.”

Talk about your


“I am frustrated because you are making so much noise that I can’t hear

your father on the telephone.”

Wrote a note (taped to basket of clean laundry) “Marlin, please fold me.”

Reference: Hamner, T.J. & Turner, P.H. (2001). Parenting in Contemporary Society, 4 th

ed. ____Allyn and Bacon.

Positive Guidance Children are more likely to respond to positive statements than negative ones. Rewrite each

statement below so it tells the child what he or she is expected to do.

1. “Don’t put the scissors on the floor.”

2. “Don’t spill your milk.”

3. “Don’t walk in front of the slide.”

4. “You’re pouring too fast.”

5. “Don’t walk so slowly.”

6. “Don’t touch all of the muffins.”

Reference: Herr, J. (2008) Working With Young Children; Study Guide. Tinley Park, ILL: Goodheart-Wilcox,

Co. (page 80).