Draft - 2

Please view this as a sample rather than a model--it is not perfect, but it is on track as a first essay effort of ENG 102.

1) I have lightly edited this sample. For example, the original composition often employed the past tense, we know that appropriate collegiate style uses the THRID PERSON and the PRESENT VERB TENSE consistently.

2) The sample appropriately identifies the text by title and director up front with a summary of the premise of the film.

3) The sample identifies a concrete topic--"relationships"--that is will be able to analyze in the body of the essay. I do, however, think the author could better characterize this topic. The most important relationship seems to be the mother daughter relationship. Other important relationships include Lady Birds romantic relationships and her friendships. How will the essay explore these types of relations to lead to an interpretation? Which leads me to my next point...

4) I like that the introduction ends in a arguable claim--that compassion results from guilt. But is this true? Is this the only source of compassion in the film? We can only better answer this questions by relating this interpretation to the topic of relationships.

5) I like that the first body paragraph has a topic that is not introduced as the beginning of a summary, but is something that can serve the interpretation. However, the paragraph is heavy on claims and very light on detail. We need detail from the scenes we discuss so that we can explain how the text works to convey the meaning you are arguing for.