Essay

Francis 4

Thank you for using Upswing, Joke. We appreciate the effort. However, there is still more work to be done. You will find my comments embedded in the brackets in bold blue type throughout. I hope you find them helpful. Do keep in mind that in the absence of the assignment instructions, our feedback is always limited. You attached the grading rubric, which is different from the instructions.

Because you did not include the assignment instructions, I cannot be sure of the required length or the content of the paper, but you have only written under 600 words. Please, check the instructions to make sure that you meet the requirements. Keep in mind that the total count does not include the title page or the references page.

Punctuation, especially the comma use, is inconsistent, which affects the sentence structure. There are a few comma-splice sentences. Subject-verb agreement needs to be corrected in addition to diction. The latter is often related to the sentence structure, and the clarity and coherence suffer in the process. Please, follow this link to learn more about the syntax https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/general_writing/punctuation/sentence_punctuation_patterns.html

What would have helped with the punctuation is the language settings -you have set the UK English as the language, but you should change it to the USA, as there are spelling and ;punctuation differences that Word will recognize.

As for the substance, the ideas are not always clear, and at times you contradict previous statements. However, to provide more feedback, it is important to see your professor’s original instructions. If this is an essay, you should also follow the essay format.

For more writing tips, you may want to visit our Resource Center and search for relevant topics https://library.hccs.edu/tutoring

Thank you again, and good luck with your assignment!

[A title needs to be added]

Joke Francis

Professor Nathan Poage

PHILOSOPHY 1301

Houston Community College

November 12, 2020

Question 3: [No need to add the question, as your reader does not know what you are referring to. An essay should only have the title]

Descartes’ Arguments for the Existence of God [Is this is the title of the essay?]

Rene Descartes believes in God. [or believes in God’s existence? One does not have to be believer in a religious sense to acknowledge God’s existence.] Descartes’ argument around the existence of God discloses why he held that the verification of God can be perceived as a perfect being which somewhat helped overcome skepticism. [Awkward diction] The ontological argument that he created was to prove that our [Whose? 1st person is I/we; 2nd person is you; 3rd person is he/she/it/they. Third person is generally used in academic writing, and second person is rarely used.] notion of God is that of a “Perfect Being” and it is perfect to exist than not to exist hence the idea of God existing. [What do you mean? Awkward diction] Descartes claims that God is not deceptive because deception is association with imperfection and God is not capable of that [A comma needs to be added. Comma use depends on the rest of the structures in the sentence.] hence the argument that he believes in God, [Incorrect punctuation.] (Valin, 2015).

God’s Existence as a Perfect Being [If this is an essay, follow the essay format, and do not title paragraphs]

Descartes argued that God is viewed as a Perfect Being; it was a way for us [1st person is I/we; 2nd person is you; 3rd person is he/she/it/they. Third person is generally used in academic writing, and second person is rarely used.] to comprehend how an idea [What idea?] can be true. This was in conjunction with the logical consistency of the idea itself and the reality outside of the thought. The idea was the ability for human existence to structure ideas as representations of our reality. [Awkward diction] The proof for the existence of God is grounded in the character representation of an idea. In the philosopher’s third meditation, “For just as the objective mode of being belongs to ideas by their very nature, so the formal mode of being belongs to the causes of ideas—or at least the first and most important one—by their very nature . . . . If the objective reality of any of my ideas turns out to be so great that I am sure the same reality does not reside in me, either formally or eminently, and hence that I myself cannot be its cause, it will necessarily follow that I am not alone in the world, but that some other thing which is the cause of this idea also exist (i.e., God)” [This quote is too long for such a short paragraph.] (Sansom, 2017). It means that when an idea has a representation makeup then the idea of God must be true.

Whether Descartes Ideas are convincing

Descartes arguments about the existence of God are quite convincing. It [What? A pronoun replaces a noun, so it must match the noun in number, gender, and type] can be capitalized on the idea that he mentioned about the idea [repetitive] of God being innate and since it’s innate, it is part of the thinking processes. [Awkward diction] This is what he called the formal reality whereby acts of thought are the inherent reality of ideas. [Add the citation.] People cannot be skeptical that they can have the thought of God. [This statement does not make sense and will confuse the reader.] It is certain that God’s representation is clear and the act of think [Incorrect word form] of God is distinct to us hence making it an objective reality. The arguments provided by Descartes leads [Subject-verb agreement error.] us to epistemology of natural science which clears any doubts about his [Whose? A pronoun replaces a noun, so it must match the noun in number, gender, and type] existence. Also, the arguments are convincing in the sense that a Perfect Being cannot deceive about the thought of God, therefore, “an imperfect being cannot be represented by ideas of perfection and the ideal attribute of perfection is not to deceive,” (Sansom, 2017). God exists because we realize the notion of God in our thinking. When an idea is perceived clearly and distinctively, the idea becomes true.

Why Descartes Does not believe in God

Descartes does not believe in God. [What you say here contradicts what you said earlier. This confuses the reader. Which idea do you want to keep?] As much as Descartes strives to prove that God is infinite, singular and an incorporeal substance, the struggle is realized when our minds and God cannot exist as one, [A comma needs to be deleted.] (Valin, 2015). Human beings become individualistic and separate entities from God; this leads to a contradiction in his argument of God being a Perfect Being. We assume that all things come from God, how do imperfections arise when God is the perfect cause? [A comma splice is two or more complete sentences joined only with a comma between them. Add stronger punctuation or a transition word or phrase.] Also, if God and our minds are connected; therefore, the mind is just an extension of God.

References

Sansom, D. (2017). Prudential Versus Probative Arguments for Religious Faith: Descartes and Pascal on Reason and Faith. Religions, 8(8), 136. file:///C:/Users/user/Downloads/religions-08-00136.pdf

Valin, A. (2015). The Effect of God on the Cogito: an Examination of Descartes' Meditations on First Philosophy. Oglethorpe Journal of Undergraduate Research, 5(1), 5. https://digitalcommons.kennesaw.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?referer=https://www.google.com/&httpsredir=1&article=1051&context=ojur