FIRST FORMAL LETTER ASSIGNMENT

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WRITING FOR A POSITIVE EFFECT As Chapter 1 explains, clarity is not your only communication goal. The “people” content of your messages often needs as much attention as the informational content—and in some cases, it will be your primary consideron.

The following sections will help you see how to write in a way that elicits positive responses. In other words, it will help you build goodwill with your business associates and customers. Businesses cannot survive without goodwill, and you will not last long in business if you do not value it. Courteous, pleasant behavior is part of being a professional. Read on to see how to make your writing meet this professional standard.

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LO 4-12 Use a conversational style that has the appropriate level of formality and eliminates “rubber stamps.”

Use a Conversational Style

One technique that helps build goodwill is to write in conversational language. Conversational language is warm, natural, and personable. It is also the language that is most easily understood.

In business, a conversational style does not always mean being colloquial. It does mean tailoring your language to your reader and avoidintiff, impersonal wording.

choosing the right level of formality

Business relationships are much more casual than they used to be, but a certain formality is still expected in many business situations. When to be formal and when to be casual will depend on whom you're writing to, what genre you're using, and what you're saying. If you choose the wrong level of formality for the situation, you run the risk of offending your reader. A too-formal style can sound impersonal and parental, while a too-informal style can make you sound as though you aren't taking the reader seriously.

The more formal style is appropriate when you are

Communicating with someone you don't know.

Communicating with someone at a higher level than you.

Using a relatively formal genre, such as a letter, long report, or external proposal.

Writing a ceremonial message, such as a commendation or inspirational announcement.

Writing an extremely serious message, such as a crisis response or official reprimand.

When you are writing in less formal situations, you can bring your formality down a notch. Co-workers and other associates who know each other well and are using an informal medium, such as texting, often joke and use emoticons (e.g., a smiley face) and initialisms (e.g., BTW) in their correspondence. When appropriate, such touches add goodwill.

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Adjusting your level of formality can sometimes be as simple as substituting one word or phrase for another, as shown in Exhibit 4-9.

EXHIBIT 4-9 Equivalent Words with Different Levels of Formality

More Formal Less Formal

Studied, investigated, analyzedLooked into

Rearranged Juggled

Ensure Make sure

Exceptional, superior Great, terrific

As a result, therefore So

Confirm Double check

Consult with Check with

Correct, appropriate Right

Thank you Thanks

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We will We'll

I am I'm

Let me know Keep me posted

By June 3 ASAP

EXHIBIT 4-9 Equivalent Words with Different Levels of Formality

In trying to sound more formal, do not make the mistake of using stilted and unnecessarily difficult words. You can sound conversational while also being respectful and clear, as these contrasting examples illustrate:

Stiff and Dull Conversational

Enclosed please find the brochure about which you inquired. Enclosed is the brochure you requested.

In reply to your July 11 letter, please be advised that your adherence to the following instructions will facilitate the processing of your return.

Here are the procedures for returning your purchase and obtaining a refund.

This is to acknowledge receipt of your letter dated 5 May 2013. We received your May 5 letter and have forwarded it to the claims department for immediate attention.

Chapter 2 offers more advice about choosing the right level of formality for different message types.

cutting out “rubber stamps”

Rubber stamps are expressions used by habit every time a certain type of situation occurs. They are used without thought and are not adapted to the specific situation. As the term indicates, they are used much as you would use a rubber stamp.

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Because they are used routinely, rubber stamps communicate the effect of routine treatment, which is not likely to impress readers favorably. Such treatment tells readers that the writer has no special concern for them—that the present case is being handled in the same way as any other. In contrast, words specially selected for this case show the writer's concern for and interest in the readers.

Pages 67–68 discuss the problems that slang and popular clichés can cause. Here, we focus on the type of business clichés that are more routine and less colorful than those—the kind of wording that makes a message sound like a form letter. One common example is the “thank you for your letter” opening. Its intent may be sincere, but its overuse make it a rubber stamp. Another is the closing sentence “if I can be of any further assistance, do not hesitate to call on me.” Other examples of rubber stamps are the following:

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I have received your message.

This will acknowledge receipt of …

This is to inform you that …

In accordance with your instructions …

Thank you for your time.

Please let me know if you have any questions.

Thank you in advance for …

Perhaps you are asking yourself “What's wrong with thanking the reader for his or her time or with offering to answer questions?” The answer is that such rubber stamps are not specific enough. They signal that you have quit thinking about the reader's actual situation. A better ending is one that thanks the reader for something in particular or that offers to answer questions about a particular topic.

You do not need to know all the rubber stamps to stop using them. You only need to write in the language of good conversation, addressing your comments to a real person in a specific situation.

LO 4-13 Use the you-viewpoint to build goodwill.

Use the You-Viewpoint

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Writing from the you-viewpoint (also called you-attitude) is another technique for building goodwill in written messages. As you will see in following chapters, it means focusing on the reader's interests, no matter what type of message you are preparing. It is fundamental to the practice of good business communication.

from the tech desk Grammar and Style Checkers Help Writers Identify Clichés, Colloquialisms, and Jargon

While not perfect, grammar and style checkers can help writers ideny some clichés, colloquialisms, and jargon that have crept into their writing. Here, the writer told Microsoft Word 2010 to look for such expressions (the Tech Desk box on page 69 explains how). When she ran a review of her document, the checker found one and offered two suggestions for revising it. Clicking the Explain button will bring up the reason behind the suggestion. (In Word 2013, the explanation will automatically appear.)

Although this software can help, writers still need to be able to ideny the trite and overused expressions the software misses. Also, writers need to be able to recast the sentences for clarity and sincerity.

In the broadest sense, you-viewpoint writing emphasizes the reader's perspective. Yes, it emphasizes you and your and de-emphasizes we and our, but it is more than a matter of just using second-person pronouns. You and your can appear prominently in sentences that emphasize the we-viewpoint, as in this example: “If you do not pay by the 15th, you must pay a penalty.” Likewise, we and mine can appear in sentences that emphasize the you-viewpoint, as in this example: “We will do whatever we can to protect your investment.”

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The point is that the you-viewpoint is an attitude of mind that places the reader at the center of the message. Sometimes it just involves being friendly and treating people the way they like to be treated. Sometimes it involves skillfully managing people's response with carefully chosen words in a carefully designed order. How you apply it will depend on each situation and your own judgment.

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The following examples illustrate the value of using the you-viewpoint. Imagine the contrasting effects that the difference in wording would create.

We-Viewpoint You-Viewpoint

We are pleased to have your new account. Your new charge account is now open for your convenience.

Our policy prohibits us from permitting outside ups to use our equipment except on a cash-rental basis.

Our policy of cutting operating costs by renting our equipment helps us make efficient use of your tax dollars.

We have been quite tolerant of your past-due account and must now demand payment.

If you are to continue to enjoy the benefits of credit buying, you must clear your account now.

We have received your report of May 1. Thank you for your report of May 1.

We require that you sign the sales slip before we will charge to your account.

For your protection, you are charged only after you have signed the sales slip.

Some critics of the you-viewpoint point out that it can be insincere and manipulative. It is better, they say, just to “tell it like it is.”

Without question, the you-viewpoint can be used insincerely, and it can be used to pursue unethical goals. Our advice is to use the you-viewpoint when it is friendly and sincere and when your goals are ethical. In such cases, using the you-viewpoint is “telling it like it is.” If you have your readers' feelings genuinely in mind, writing from the you-viewpoint should come naturally.

LO 4-14 Employ positive language to achieve goodwill and other desired effects.

Accent the Positive

In most situations, it is better to use positive than negative wording in your business messages. (See the supporting research in the Commuication Matters box on page 91.)

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In face-to-face communication, words, voice, facial expressions, and gestures combine to create the desired communication effect. In writing, the printed word alone must do the job. Page 91

This is not to say that negative words have no place in business writing. Such words are powerful, and you will sometimes want to use them. But positive words tend to put the reader in a cooperative frame of mind, and they emphasize the pleasant aspects of the goal. They also create the goodwill that helps build relationships.

Consider the case of a company executive who had to deny a local civic group's request to use the company's meeting facilities. Even though he had an alternative to offer, he came up with this totally negative response:

We regret to inform you that we cannot permit you to use our auditorium for your meeting, as the Sun City Investment Club asked for it first. We can, however, let you use our conference room, but it seats only 60.

The positively intended message “We regret to inform you” is an unmistakable sign of coming bad news. “Cannot permit” is unnecessarily harsh. And notice how the good-news part of the message is weakened by the limiting word only.

Had the executive searched for more positive ways of covering the same situation, he or she might have written

Although the SunCity Investment Club has reserved the auditorium for Saturday, we can offer you our conference room, which seats 60.

Not a single negative word appears in this version. Both approaches achieve the primary objective of denying a request, but their effects on the reader would differ sharply. Clearly the second approach, which focuses on the positive, does the better job of building goodwill.

Here are additional examples (the negative words are in italics):

Negative Positive

Smoking is not permitted anywhere except in the lobby.

Smoking is permitted in the lobby only.

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We cannot deliver until Friday. We can deliver the goods on Friday.

We regret that we overlooked your coverage on this equipment and apologize for the trouble and concern it must have caused you.

You were quite right in believing that you have coverage on the equipment. We have now credited your account for

We regret to inform you that the guest room is not available on the date you requested.

The guest room is already booked for the evening of August 7. Would August 8 be a possibility? We would be able to accommodate your party at any time on that date.

communication matters The Business Benefits of Positivity

University of Michigan professor Kim Cameron, a pioneer in the new field of Positive Organizational Scholarship (POS), researches the connections between positive attributes and organizational success. He has ideni ed four leadership strategies “that tend to produce life-giving, flourishing outcomes”:

1. Positive climate. Leaders who foster compassion, gratitude, and forgiveness help create more productive organizations.

2. Positive relationships.. When leaders reward “positive energizers” employees who “leave others feeling inspired, motivated, and full of vitality“they boost performance.

3. Positive communication. Affirmative language pays. “In a study of high-, average-, and low-performing teams, the single most important factor in predicting organizational performance was the ratio of positive statements … to negative statements.”

4. Positive meaning. Those leaders who reinforce the meaningfulness of employees' work elicit more positive outcomes.

Sources: Ann Pace, “Unleashing Positivity in the Workplace,” Training + Development Jan. 2010: 40–44, print.

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Page 92 communication matters Parent, Child, or Adult?

In the 1950s, psychologist Eric Berne developed a model of relationships that he called Transactional Analysis. It has proven to be so useful that it is still popular today.

At the core of this model is the ideaat, in all our transactions with others (and even within ourselves), people occupy one of three positions: parent, child, or adult.

A parent is patronizing, spoiling, nurturing, blaming, criticizing, and/or punishing.

A child is uninhibited, freely emotional, obedient, whining, irresponsible, and/or selfish.

An adult is reasonable, responsible, consider, and flexible.

Significantly, the “self” that one projects invites others to occupy the complementary position. Thus, acting “parental” leads others to act “childish” and vice versa, while acting “adult” invites others to be adults.

In both internal and external business messages, strive for “adult–adult” interactions. Your courtesy and professionalism will be likely to elicit the same from your readers..

LO 4-15 Explain and use the elements of courtesy.

Be Courteous

A major contributor to goodwill in business documents is courtesy. By courtesy we mean respectful and consider treatment of others. Courtesy produces friendly relations between people, and the result is a better human climate for solving business problems and doing business.

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How to be courteous will depend on the situation. (It also depends on culture, as explained in the Communication Matters feature on page 93.) Including “please,” “thank you,” “we're sorry,” and other standard expressions of politeness do not necessarily make a message courteous. Rather than focusing on stock phrases, considerat will make your reader feel most comfortable, understood, and appreciated. A message with no overtly polite expressions whatsoever can still demonstrate great courtesy by being easy to read, focusing on the reader's interests, and conveying the writer's feelings of goodwill.

Still, courtesy generally is enhanced by using certain techniques. We have already discussed three of them: writing in conversational language, employing the you-viewpoint, and choosing positive words. More follow.

avoid blaming the reader

Customers, co-workers, bosses, and other businesspeople you work with are going to make mistakes—just as you will. When they do, your first reaction is likely to be disappointment, frustration, or even anger. After all, their mistakes will cost you time, energy, and possibly even money.

But you must avoid ttemptation to blame the reader when you are resolving a problem. No one likes being accused of negligence, wrongdoing, or faulty thinking. It is better to objectively explain the facts and then move on to a solution.

The following examples illustrate:

Blaming Language More Courteous Language

You failed to indicate which fabric you wanted on the chair you ordered.

To complete your order, please check your choice of fabric on the enclosed card.

If you had read the instructions that came with your cookware, you would have known not to submerge it in water.

The instructions explain why the cookware should not be submerged in water.

Your claim that we did nproperly maintain the copier is false.

Listed below are the dates the copier was serviced and the type of service it received.

Your request for coverage is denied because you did not follow the correct appeals procedure.

We need additional information to be able to process your appeal. Please supply [the needed information] and resubmit your request to.…

Notice two helpful, related strategies in the better language above. One is to avoid ug you when doing so would blame the reader. In these situations, you will actually have better you-viewpoint if you do not use you. The second strategy is to keep the focus on the facts rather than on the people. So instead of writing “you should not submerge the cookware in water,” write “the cookware should not be submerged in water.” Notice that the preferred wording in this example uses passive voice. As noted earlier in this chapter, passive voice (omitting the doer of the action) is not only acceptable but desirable in cases where it will keep you from assigning blame.

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do more than is expected

One sure way to gain goodwill is to do a little more than you have to do for your reader. Perhaps in an effort to be concise, we sometimes stop short of being helpful. But the result can be brusque, hurried treatment, which is inconsistent with the effort to build goodwill.

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The first step toward creating goodwill with your readers is to put yourself in their shoes.

The writer of a message refusing a request to use company equipment, for example, needs only to say “no” to accomplish the primary goal. But this blunt response would destroy goodwill. To maintain positive relations, the writer should explain and justify the refusal and then suggest alternative steps that the reader might take. A wholesaler's brief extra sentence to wish a retailer good luck on a coming promotion is worth the effort. So are an insurance agent's few words of congratulations in a message to a policyholder who has earned some kind of distinction.

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Try to solve your readers' problems, and look for other ways to make your readers feel appreciated.

be sincere

Courteous treatment is sincere treatment. If your messages are to be effective, people must believe you. You must convince them that you mean what you say and that your courtesy and friendliness are authentic.

The best way of getting sincerity into your writing is actually to be sincere. If you honestly want to be courteous, if you honestly believe that you-viewpoint treatment leads to harmonious relations, and if you honestly think that tactful treatment spares your reader's feelings, you are likely to apply these techniques sincerely, and this sincerity will show in your writing.

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from the tech desk Courtesy in the Age of Mobile Devices

In the U.S., the name “Emily Post” has been synonymous with good manners for decades. With the publication of Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics, and at Home in 1922, Post became the undisputed authority on the topic, and she continued to be so the rest of her life. Her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren have carried on her tradition. Emily Post's Etiquette is now in its 18th edition, and it now includes a chapter on personal communication devices. Here are some excerpts from the chapter:

Cell Phones

Without exception, turn your device off in a house of worship, restaurant, or theater; during a meeting or presentation; or anytime its use is likely to disturb others.

If you must be alerted to a call, put your device on silent ring or vibrate, and check your caller ID or voice mail later. (Put it in your pocket; a vibrating phone, skittering across a tabletop, is just as disruptive as a ring.)

Wherever you are, if you must make or take a call, move to a private space and speak as quietly as you can.

Keep calls as short as possible; the longer the call, the greater the irritation to those who have no choice but to listen.

On airplanes, it's a courtesy to everyone on board to quickly wrap up your call when the flight crew instructs passengers to turn off all electronic devices before takeoff. When cell phone use is permitted after landing, keep your calls short, limiting them to information about your arrival. Save any longer calls for a private spot in the terminal.

Think about what your ring tone says about you. Is your frat boy hip-hop tone the right ring for your new job as a trainee at an accounting firm?

Text Messaging

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Text messaging is a strictly casual communication. You shouldn't use text messaging when informing someone of sad news, business matters, or urgent meetings unless it's to set up a phone call on the subject.

Be aware of where you are. The backlight will disturb others if you text in a theater or house of worship.

Keep your message brief. If it's going to be more than a couple of lines, make a call and have a conversation.

Don't be a pest. Bombarding someone with texts is annoying and assumes they have nothing better to do than read your messages.

Be very careful when choosing a recipient from your phone book; a slip of the thumb could send a text intended for a friend to your boss.

Whenever you have a chance, respond to text messages, either by texting back or with a phone call.

Don't text anything confidential, private, or potentially embarrassing. You never know when your message might get sent to the wrong person or forwarded.

Source: Based on Peggy Post, Anna Post, Lizzie Post, and Daniel Post Senning, Emily Post's Etiquette: Manners for a New World, 18th ed. (New York: HarperCollins, 2001), 240–248, print.

Be careful not to let exaggeration undermine your goodwill efforts, as in these two examples:

If you will help these children, Ms. Collins, you will become a hero in their eyes.

We are extremely pleased to be able to help you and want you to know that your satisfaction means more than anything to us.

Such flattery will damage your reader's trust in you.

Many exaggerated statements involve the use of superlatives, such as greatest, most amazing, finest, healthiest, and strongest. Other strong words may have similar effects—for example, extraordinary, incredible, sensational, terrific, revolutionary, world-class, and perfection. Avoid s wording except in the rare cases when it is warranted. To be regarded as sincere, you must be believable.

LO 4-16 Use the three major techniques for emphasizing the positive and de-emphasizing the negative.

Manage Emphasis for a Positive Effect

Getting the desired effect in writing often involves giving proper emphasis to the items in the message. The three most useful ways to manage emphasis for a positive effect are to use position, sentence structure, and space.

emphasis by position

The beginnings and endings of a writing unit carry more emphasis than the center parts. This rule of emphasis applies whether the unit is the message, a paragraph of the message, or a sentence within the paragraph (see Exhibit 4-10). In light of this fact, you should put your more positive points in beginnings and endings and, if possible, avoid ping negative points in these positions.

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EXHIBIT 4-10 Emphasis by Position

EXHIBIT 4-10 Emphasis by Position Page 95

If we were to use this technique in a paragraph turning down a suggestion, we might write it like this (the key point is in italics):

In light of the current budget crunch, we approved those suggestions that would save money while not costing much to implement. While your plan is not feasible at this time, we hope you will submit it again next year when we should have more resources for implementing it.

As you can see, putting information in the middlends to de-emphasize it. Considersition carefully when organizing your positive and negative contents.

sentence structure and emphasis

Closely related to the concept of emphasis by position is the concept of managing emphasis through sentence structure. As noted on pages 80–81 in this chapter, short, simple sentences and main clauses call attention to their content. In applying this emphasis technique to your writing, carefully considere possible arrangements of your information. Place the more positive information in short, simple sentences or main clauses. Put the less important information in subordinate structures such as dependent clauses and modifying phrases. This sentence from the previous example illustrates the technique (the negative point is in a subordinate clause):

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While your plan is not feasible at this time, we encourage you to submit it again next year when we are likely to have more resources for implementing it.

Here's another example:

Your budget will be approved if you can reduce your planned operating expenses by $2,000.

space and emphasis

In general, the more space you devote to a topic, the more you emphasize it. Therefore, deemphazing the negative means spending as little space on it as possible.

When we say not to spend much space on negative news, we mean the actual negative point. As Chapter 6 will show, you will often need to preface such news with explanatory, cushioning words in order to prepare your readers to receive it as positively as possible. For this reason, it often takes longer to say “no” than to say “yes,” as in these contrasting openings of a message responding to a request:

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A Message That Says “Yes”

Your new A-level parking sticker is enclosed.

A Message That Says “No”

Your new University Hospital parking sticker is enclosed. As always, we had many more applicants for A-level passes than we had spaces. Your B-level sticker will enable you to park in the Eden Garage, which is connected to the hospital by a covered skywalk. If you would like to discuss additional options, please contact Ann Barnett, Director of Parking Services, at 555-6666 or http://[email protected].

The “no” version certainly took longer. But notice that the space actually devoted to the negative news is minimal. In fact, the negative news isn't even stated; it is only implied in the positive second sentence (“Your B-level sticker”). Look how much of the paragraph focuses on more positive things. That is the allocation of space you should strive for when minimizing the negative and emphasizing the positive.

Use Positive Emphasis Ethically

As with use of the you-viewpoint, emphasis on the positive, when overdone, can lead to fake and manipulative messages. The technique is especially questionable when it causes the reader to overlook an important negative point in the message—the discontinuation of a service, for example, or information about an unsafe product.

http://[email protected]/

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When ethical and appropriate, view the glass as half full, not as half empty.

Do not let your effort to please the reader lead you to be dishonest or insincere. That would not only be morally wrong; it would also be a bad way to do business.

On the other hand, the topics we discuss in our communication—whether data, events, people, or situations—can be rightly perceived in multiple ways. In your quest to achieve your communication purpose, think before you let negative feelings make their way into your messages. You will often be able to depict the glass as half full rather than as half empty, and you will probably find that your own perspective has improved in the process.