Persuasive Letter

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PersuasiveLetter.pdf

Persuasive Letter by Olayemi Olatunji

Submission date: 08-Jul-2021 11:09PM (UTC-0400) Submission ID: 1617373119 File name: var_www_moodle_temp_turnitintool_429909569.Persuasive_Essay.docx (17.01K) Word count: 901 Character count: 4193

Hi Last name

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Date

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Missing comma

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Spell

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Underline

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Awk.

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14

Summarize

Restate

3% SIMILARITY INDEX

0% INTERNET SOURCES

0% PUBLICATIONS

3% STUDENT PAPERS

1 3%

Exclude quotes Off

Exclude bibliography Off

Exclude matches Off

Persuasive Letter ORIGINALITY REPORT

PRIMARY SOURCES

Submitted to Dulles High School Student Paper

FINAL GRADE

34/50 Persuasive Letter GRADEMARK REPORT

GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

Hello Olayemi,

I enjoyed reading your paper. I especially enjoyed your persuasive efforts in the second body paragraph. 

However, I would encourage you to work on the introduction of the essay. The introduction should be used to explain your topic. Your opinion regarding the topic should only be mentioned in the thesis statement. 

I would also encourage you to maintain the order of supporting points discussed in the essay as per the thesis statement. I would also encourage you to use the conclusion to restate the thesis as well as summarize the main supporting points, making a final effort toward persuading your reader to change their mind. 

Pay close attention to the errors in the language and punctuation  sections. Another area that requires your attention is the format section. Pay close attention to the format requirements of the assignment. Provide a suitable title for the essay. Underline the thesis. 

All the best!

SRS

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PAGE 1

Hi

Hi,

Hope you're doing well. I'm happy to read your paper today!

SRS

Last name | Format

Last name and page number should appear on the top right corner of each page.

Comment 1 | Format

The header should include the following information: 

Your first and last name 

Course Title (Composition I) 

Assignment name (Persuasive Letter) 

Current Date

Date | Format

Use the following format for the date:

14 September 2001

Comment 2 | Format

Provide a suitable title for the essay.

Missing comma | Punct./Cap.

Missing comma.

Use commas to separate independent clauses when they are joined by any of these seven coordinating conjunctions: and, but, for, or, nor, so, yet.

Comment 3 | Intro/Thesis

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Use the introduction to explain your topic. Your claim regarding the topic should not be mentioned in the introduction. Your opinion should only be mentioned in the thesis statement.

Spell | Punct./Cap. Spelling error

Comment 4 | Punct./Cap.

Unnecessary comma

Underline | Format

Thesis is not underlined

Comment 5 | Style/Lang.

Parallelism is not maintained.

Comment 6 | Body/Support

Strive to maintain the order of supporting points in the body paragraphs as they appear in the thesis statement. The first body paragraph discusses the second point mentioned in the thesis statement. 

Therefore, it is important to maintain the order of supporting points. The first supporting point mentioned in the thesis should be discussed in the first body paragraph.

Comment 7 | Body/Support

Clear topic sentence.

PAGE 2

Comment 8 | Style/Lang.

Singular/plural error.

Comment 9 | Body/Support

Good concluding sentence.

Comment 10 | Body/Support

Clear topic sentence.

Comment 11 | Punct./Cap.

QM

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Unnecessary comma

Comment 12 | Body/Support

The second supporting point mentioned in the thesis should be discussed in the second body paragraph.

Comment 13 | Body/Support

Good persuasive efforts with the help of strategies like inspiration.

Awk. | Style/Lang. Awkward: The expression or construction is cumbersome or difficult to read. Consider rewriting.

PAGE 3

Comment 14 | Body/Support

Good support!

Summarize | Conclusion

Use the conclusion to summarize the main points presented in the paper.

Restate | Conclusion

Work toward the restatement of the thesis using fresh language to emphasize your claim, and end the essay on a strong note.

RUBRIC: E1SLV7PERSUASIVELETTER

INTRO/THESIS (20%)

0-1 (0)

2 (2)

3 (3)

4 (4)

5 (5)

BODY/SUPPORT (20%)

0-1 (0)

2 (2)

3 (3)

4 (4)

5 (5)

CONCLUSION (20%)

0-1 (0)

3.40 / 5

4 / 5

Introduction & Thesis Background/History Define the problem/purpose for writing Consideration of audience: letter or otherwise intended audience. Thesis Statement

Lacks an identifiable or acceptable thesis. No awareness of audience and purpose. Readers cannot discern the essay’s central idea.

Thesis is vague or unclear. Background details are a seemingly random collection of information, unclear, or not related to the topic. Limited or no audience awareness.

Introduction states the thesis but does not adequately explain the background of the problem/point. The problem is stated, but lacks sufficient detail and/or explanation. Audience awareness may not be clearly evident.

Introductory paragraph contains some background information and states the problem/point, but does not explain using sufficient details. Audience awareness is evident (letter or otherwise intended audience). The first paragraph states the thesis of the essay.

Well-developed/exemplary introductory paragraph. Contains detailed background information, a clear explanation or definition of the problem/point with consideration given to the writer’s choice of audience (letter or otherwise clear intended audience), and a strong thesis statement.

4 / 5

Body Paragraphs Coherence/Organization

Less than three main points, with poor or no development of ideas. Organization greatly hinders the argument. Ideas may not be original, as too much matter may be borrowed.

Less than three main points, with poor development of ideas. The organization of the shared ideas deters from the writer’s point.

Three or more main points are discernible, but all three lack development. The essay is lacking a thoughtful organization of the main points.

Three or more main points are present but may lack detail and development in one or two. A thoughtful organization of the main points is evident.

Three or more main points are well-developed with supporting details. The organization of the main points enhances the essay.

3 / 5

Conclusion/Closing Summary of main points of argument/essay Restatement of thesis.

The conclusion is either inadequate or missing. The point of the essay is not clearly noted in the conclusion.

2 (2)

3 (3)

4 (4)

5 (5)

STYLE/LANG. (13%)

0-1 (0)

2 (2)

3 (3)

4 (4)

5 (5)

PUNCT./CAP. (13%)

0-1 (0)

2 (2)

3 (3)

4 (4)

Conclusion is apparent but does not adequately summarize the main points. The argument, in fact, is weakened through the inadequacy of the conclusion.

Conclusion summarizes main topics, but is repetitive–lacking strength and possibly deterring from the overall argument.

Conclusion summarizes main topics. Some concluding ideas may lack strength or development.

Conclusion thoughtfully summarizes the main topic(s) without repeating previous sentences; the writer clearly and logically accentuates the point of the essay or the thesis.

4 / 5

Sentence Structure (Grammar) Word Choice/Vocabulary (redundancy, repetition, awkwardness)

The writer has given very little or no apparent consideration to language and style. Word choice is sloppy and/or incorrect.

The writer’s use of language and style diminishes the nature and strength of the essay. Writer’s language/style choices make the essay less cohesive and/or difficult to understand.

The writer’s use of language and style, at times, deters form the overall argument. The writer’s word choice and style sometimes detracts from the overall message.

The writer’s use of language and style helps convey the author’s point(s). The writer almost always uses language and style as a tool to enhance the argument.

The writer’s use of language and style accentuates the nature of the essay. Writer wields language and style as a tool to enhance the argument.

3 / 5

Comma errors, comma splices, apostrophe errors, capitalization errors, semicolon errors, colon errors, typos/misspellings

Contains more than 6 different punctuation/capitalization errors. The identical or similar errors may be repeated throughout. The errors help to significantly deter from the writer’s overall argument.

Contains many (more than 4) different punctuation/capitalization errors. The identical or similar errors are repeated throughout. The errors deter from the writer’s overall argument.

Contains more than 3 different punctuation/capitalization errors. The identical or similar errors may be repeated throughout. At times, the errors deter from the writer’s overall argument.

Contains 1-2 types of punctuation/capitalization errors, which may be repeated throughout the essay. The errors do not deter from the writer’s overall argument, but they serve as a distraction.

5 (5)

FORMAT (13%)

0-1 (0)

2 (2)

3 (3)

4 (4)

5 (5)

Contains either no punctuation/capitalization errors, or no more than 2 different errors with no repetition, and/or the errors do not deter from the writer’s argument.

2 / 5

Attention to Directions/ Format of Essay using MLA Heading Original Title 1” Margins Double-Spaced Thesis or main point is underlined. Letter or clear intended audience Minimum word count: 750 words

Doesn’t meet formatting and/or word count requirements, and as a result, the writing is difficult to read or unreadable.

Meets very few formatting requirements, and those missing deter from the readability of the writing.

Meets some formatting requirements: the lack of appropriate formatting may lead to a lack of readability or to a distraction while reading.

Meets most formatting requirements; the formatting does not discourage readability.

Meets all of the suggested essay formatting requirements; formatting enhances the readability of the writing.