Persuasive Letter
Persuasive Letter by Olayemi Olatunji
Submission date: 08-Jul-2021 11:09PM (UTC-0400) Submission ID: 1617373119 File name: var_www_moodle_temp_turnitintool_429909569.Persuasive_Essay.docx (17.01K) Word count: 901 Character count: 4193
Hi Last name
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Date
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Missing comma
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Spell
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Underline
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8
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10
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Awk.
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14
Summarize
Restate
3% SIMILARITY INDEX
0% INTERNET SOURCES
0% PUBLICATIONS
3% STUDENT PAPERS
1 3%
Exclude quotes Off
Exclude bibliography Off
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Persuasive Letter ORIGINALITY REPORT
PRIMARY SOURCES
Submitted to Dulles High School Student Paper
FINAL GRADE
34/50 Persuasive Letter GRADEMARK REPORT
GENERAL COMMENTS
Instructor
Hello Olayemi,
I enjoyed reading your paper. I especially enjoyed your persuasive efforts in the second body paragraph.
However, I would encourage you to work on the introduction of the essay. The introduction should be used to explain your topic. Your opinion regarding the topic should only be mentioned in the thesis statement.
I would also encourage you to maintain the order of supporting points discussed in the essay as per the thesis statement. I would also encourage you to use the conclusion to restate the thesis as well as summarize the main supporting points, making a final effort toward persuading your reader to change their mind.
Pay close attention to the errors in the language and punctuation sections. Another area that requires your attention is the format section. Pay close attention to the format requirements of the assignment. Provide a suitable title for the essay. Underline the thesis.
All the best!
SRS
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PAGE 1
Hi
Hi,
Hope you're doing well. I'm happy to read your paper today!
SRS
Last name | Format
Last name and page number should appear on the top right corner of each page.
Comment 1 | Format
The header should include the following information:
Your first and last name
Course Title (Composition I)
Assignment name (Persuasive Letter)
Current Date
Date | Format
Use the following format for the date:
14 September 2001
Comment 2 | Format
Provide a suitable title for the essay.
Missing comma | Punct./Cap.
Missing comma.
Use commas to separate independent clauses when they are joined by any of these seven coordinating conjunctions: and, but, for, or, nor, so, yet.
Comment 3 | Intro/Thesis
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Use the introduction to explain your topic. Your claim regarding the topic should not be mentioned in the introduction. Your opinion should only be mentioned in the thesis statement.
Spell | Punct./Cap. Spelling error
Comment 4 | Punct./Cap.
Unnecessary comma
Underline | Format
Thesis is not underlined
Comment 5 | Style/Lang.
Parallelism is not maintained.
Comment 6 | Body/Support
Strive to maintain the order of supporting points in the body paragraphs as they appear in the thesis statement. The first body paragraph discusses the second point mentioned in the thesis statement.
Therefore, it is important to maintain the order of supporting points. The first supporting point mentioned in the thesis should be discussed in the first body paragraph.
Comment 7 | Body/Support
Clear topic sentence.
PAGE 2
Comment 8 | Style/Lang.
Singular/plural error.
Comment 9 | Body/Support
Good concluding sentence.
Comment 10 | Body/Support
Clear topic sentence.
Comment 11 | Punct./Cap.
QM
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Unnecessary comma
Comment 12 | Body/Support
The second supporting point mentioned in the thesis should be discussed in the second body paragraph.
Comment 13 | Body/Support
Good persuasive efforts with the help of strategies like inspiration.
Awk. | Style/Lang. Awkward: The expression or construction is cumbersome or difficult to read. Consider rewriting.
PAGE 3
Comment 14 | Body/Support
Good support!
Summarize | Conclusion
Use the conclusion to summarize the main points presented in the paper.
Restate | Conclusion
Work toward the restatement of the thesis using fresh language to emphasize your claim, and end the essay on a strong note.
RUBRIC: E1SLV7PERSUASIVELETTER
INTRO/THESIS (20%)
0-1 (0)
2 (2)
3 (3)
4 (4)
5 (5)
BODY/SUPPORT (20%)
0-1 (0)
2 (2)
3 (3)
4 (4)
5 (5)
CONCLUSION (20%)
0-1 (0)
3.40 / 5
4 / 5
Introduction & Thesis Background/History Define the problem/purpose for writing Consideration of audience: letter or otherwise intended audience. Thesis Statement
Lacks an identifiable or acceptable thesis. No awareness of audience and purpose. Readers cannot discern the essay’s central idea.
Thesis is vague or unclear. Background details are a seemingly random collection of information, unclear, or not related to the topic. Limited or no audience awareness.
Introduction states the thesis but does not adequately explain the background of the problem/point. The problem is stated, but lacks sufficient detail and/or explanation. Audience awareness may not be clearly evident.
Introductory paragraph contains some background information and states the problem/point, but does not explain using sufficient details. Audience awareness is evident (letter or otherwise intended audience). The first paragraph states the thesis of the essay.
Well-developed/exemplary introductory paragraph. Contains detailed background information, a clear explanation or definition of the problem/point with consideration given to the writer’s choice of audience (letter or otherwise clear intended audience), and a strong thesis statement.
4 / 5
Body Paragraphs Coherence/Organization
Less than three main points, with poor or no development of ideas. Organization greatly hinders the argument. Ideas may not be original, as too much matter may be borrowed.
Less than three main points, with poor development of ideas. The organization of the shared ideas deters from the writer’s point.
Three or more main points are discernible, but all three lack development. The essay is lacking a thoughtful organization of the main points.
Three or more main points are present but may lack detail and development in one or two. A thoughtful organization of the main points is evident.
Three or more main points are well-developed with supporting details. The organization of the main points enhances the essay.
3 / 5
Conclusion/Closing Summary of main points of argument/essay Restatement of thesis.
The conclusion is either inadequate or missing. The point of the essay is not clearly noted in the conclusion.
2 (2)
3 (3)
4 (4)
5 (5)
STYLE/LANG. (13%)
0-1 (0)
2 (2)
3 (3)
4 (4)
5 (5)
PUNCT./CAP. (13%)
0-1 (0)
2 (2)
3 (3)
4 (4)
Conclusion is apparent but does not adequately summarize the main points. The argument, in fact, is weakened through the inadequacy of the conclusion.
Conclusion summarizes main topics, but is repetitive–lacking strength and possibly deterring from the overall argument.
Conclusion summarizes main topics. Some concluding ideas may lack strength or development.
Conclusion thoughtfully summarizes the main topic(s) without repeating previous sentences; the writer clearly and logically accentuates the point of the essay or the thesis.
4 / 5
Sentence Structure (Grammar) Word Choice/Vocabulary (redundancy, repetition, awkwardness)
The writer has given very little or no apparent consideration to language and style. Word choice is sloppy and/or incorrect.
The writer’s use of language and style diminishes the nature and strength of the essay. Writer’s language/style choices make the essay less cohesive and/or difficult to understand.
The writer’s use of language and style, at times, deters form the overall argument. The writer’s word choice and style sometimes detracts from the overall message.
The writer’s use of language and style helps convey the author’s point(s). The writer almost always uses language and style as a tool to enhance the argument.
The writer’s use of language and style accentuates the nature of the essay. Writer wields language and style as a tool to enhance the argument.
3 / 5
Comma errors, comma splices, apostrophe errors, capitalization errors, semicolon errors, colon errors, typos/misspellings
Contains more than 6 different punctuation/capitalization errors. The identical or similar errors may be repeated throughout. The errors help to significantly deter from the writer’s overall argument.
Contains many (more than 4) different punctuation/capitalization errors. The identical or similar errors are repeated throughout. The errors deter from the writer’s overall argument.
Contains more than 3 different punctuation/capitalization errors. The identical or similar errors may be repeated throughout. At times, the errors deter from the writer’s overall argument.
Contains 1-2 types of punctuation/capitalization errors, which may be repeated throughout the essay. The errors do not deter from the writer’s overall argument, but they serve as a distraction.
5 (5)
FORMAT (13%)
0-1 (0)
2 (2)
3 (3)
4 (4)
5 (5)
Contains either no punctuation/capitalization errors, or no more than 2 different errors with no repetition, and/or the errors do not deter from the writer’s argument.
2 / 5
Attention to Directions/ Format of Essay using MLA Heading Original Title 1” Margins Double-Spaced Thesis or main point is underlined. Letter or clear intended audience Minimum word count: 750 words
Doesn’t meet formatting and/or word count requirements, and as a result, the writing is difficult to read or unreadable.
Meets very few formatting requirements, and those missing deter from the readability of the writing.
Meets some formatting requirements: the lack of appropriate formatting may lead to a lack of readability or to a distraction while reading.
Meets most formatting requirements; the formatting does not discourage readability.
Meets all of the suggested essay formatting requirements; formatting enhances the readability of the writing.