Personal Narrative Instructions

personal narrative by Doreen Williams

Submission date: 03-Feb-2021 12:56AM (UTC-0500) Submission ID: 1500523313 File name: dle_temp_turnitintool_1989372439.Personaltransformativestory.pdf (255.27K) Word count: 401 Character count: 1767

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Comma after Intro clauses

Cap. Error

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Run-on

4

P/A Agreement

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9

Tense Shift

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0% SIMILARITY INDEX

0% INTERNET SOURCES

0% PUBLICATIONS

0% STUDENT PAPERS

Exclude quotes Off

Exclude bibliography Off

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personal narrative ORIGINALITY REPORT

PRIMARY SOURCES

QM

QM

FINAL GRADE

1/1 personal narrative GRADEMARK REPORT

GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

Hi Doreen!

The central idea of your paper is quite clear throughout the essay. Good job!

However, your paper is underdeveloped in terms of organization and format. You are expected to discuss how you went through three stages in your life in the thesis statement. Make sure to dedicate three separate body paragraphs to discuss them.

Please check my specific comments in the paper. All the best!

PM

PAGE 1

Comment 1

Hi Doreen! I am glad to check your paper today!

PM

Comment 2 | Format

While you do not need to follow standard MLA format for this assignment, be sure to still include your name, the course title, assignment name, and date within your submission as part of the newspaper or brochure.

Comma after Intro clauses | Punctuation

Use a comma after an introductory clause or phrase. A comma tells readers that the introductory clause or phrase has come to a close, and that the main part of the sentence is about to begin.

Cap. Error | Punctuation Capitalization

QM

QM

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Comment 3 | Coherence

Good introduction.

Run-on | Grammar Run-on sentence: The sentence contains two or more independent clauses. Separate the clauses with a period or semicolon.

Comment 4 | Thesis

Unclear thesis statement: You are expected to develop a thesis statement at the end of the introduction that clearly defines the three stages of your life that you will be discussing in the paper. It should explain how you went from Point A to Point B and then to Point C.

P/A Agreement | Grammar Pronoun/Antecedent agreement: A pronoun usually refers to something earlier in the text. The thing to which it refers is known as the pronoun's antecedent. A pronoun and its antecedent must match in number; a singular pronoun must be used when referring to a singular noun and a plural pronoun must be used when referring to a plural noun.

Comment 5 | Format

Oops! Looks like you forgot to underline the thesis statement.

Comment 6 | Coherence

Try to follow the 1-3-1 format while developing the paper: one introduction, three body paragraphs to discuss the three stages of your narrative, and finally, the conclusion.

Comment 7 | Support & Dev

Good topic development.

Comment 8 | Support & Dev

The transition between the body paragraphs is quite abrupt. Try to develop an idea that connects these two paragraphs. You can discuss how you changed your personality which inspired you to join Human Resources.

Comment 9 | Coherence

Consider developing separate body paragraphs to discuss the three stages of your life.

Tense Shift | Grammar

As a general rule, verb tenses within a sentence or a paragraph should be consistent. A shift in

tense without reason distorts the sequence of events being described and will confuse your reader.

Comment 10 | Format

This assignment should be at least 500 words.

Comment 11 | Presentation

Try to use different colors, borders, and paragraph placement to develop a paper that is more visually appealing.

Comment 12 | Coherence

Make sure to develop a separate, distinctive concluding paragraph to summarize your journey and offering a look into the future.

RUBRIC: ENG101 V6: PERSONAL NAR DRAFT

THESIS (20%)

POINTS (0)

POINTS (2)

POINTS (3)

POINTS (3.50)

POINTS (4)

POINTS (5)

SUPPORT & DEV (15%)

POINTS (0)

POINTS (2)

POINTS (3)

POINTS (3.50)

POINTS (4)

3.15 / 5

2 / 5

Thesis, central idea, audience, purpose, digressions

Thesis or potential thesis is neither present in any portion of the essay, nor is it implied in any manner. Thesis may be present but incorrect for the assignment’s objectives/approach. Thesis may be present but the submission overall fails to meet most assignment objectives (such as the essay is only a paragraph) that determining the thesis’ viability is problematic.

Lacks an identifiable thesis. Limited or no awareness of audience and purpose. <br />Readers cannot discern the essay’s central idea.

Thesis was attempted but unclear and/or inconsistently addressed. Reveals limited awareness of audience and purpose. Central idea either lacking or inconsistently addressed.

Thesis is identifiable, but perhaps too narrow, too broad, or otherwise problematic. Awareness of audience may be adequate but inconsistent. Central idea is perhaps too general and supported by irrelevant examples.

Thesis is established and is consistently addressed throughout most of the paper. Awareness of audience is sufficient. Central idea is clear and maintained in most of the essay.

Thesis is clearly established and maintained throughout the entire paper. Paper demonstrates a sophisticated awareness of audience and purpose. Central idea/focus maintained throughout.

3 / 5

Thesis support, thesis development, use of examples, logic, and reason

Support is more than lacking, such that it is insufficient for review (assignment does not meet length requirements). <br /><br />Body paragraphs may be very limited in original material for evaluation due to too much borrowed information and a problematic similarity report which qualifies the paper for an account hold and “similarity match: low” QuickMark.

No support of thesis with relevant facts, examples, reasons, or evidence. No topic development.

Support is minimal, logically flawed, and/or inaccurate. Topic development may have been attempted, but does not form conclusions and/or fails to exhibit clear reasoning.

More support is needed. Some examples may be vague. More development needed for supporting reasons or evidence. Some irrelevant support may be present, but most evidence supports thesis.

Support is sufficient but perhaps flawed in some minor way. Examples are sufficient. Thesis is supported and developed in most paragraphs.

POINTS (5)

COHERENCE (15%)

POINTS (0)

POINTS (2)

POINTS (3)

POINTS (3.50)

POINTS (4)

POINTS (5)

LANGUAGE (10%)

POINTS (0)

POINTS (2)

POINTS (3)

Essay completely supports the thesis with logical arrangement of evidence. All assertions are supported and relate to thesis.

3 / 5

Introduction, conclusion, body paragraphs, transitions, topic sentences

Two or more major organizational elements are missing, such as an introduction and conclusion. Essay be one long paragraph with no discernible separation of ideas.

No clear introduction, body, or conclusion. Little-to-no transitions. Demonstrates little-to-no understanding of organization. Many sentences within paragraphs do not relate to each other and/or the paragraph’s topic. May contain no discernible topic sentences.

Introduction, body, and conclusion attempted but problematic. Few transitions. Perhaps numerous digressions. Mostly missing or problematic topic sentences. Demonstrates little understanding of organization.

Identifiable introduction, body, and conclusion; yet one significant weakness is present: undeveloped introduction, undeveloped conclusion, illogical paragraph order. Adequate transitions, perhaps some digressions. Some paragraphs may lack clear topic sentences. Demonstrates basic understanding of organization.

Clear introduction, body, and conclusion although improvements could be made. Most paragraphs have clear topic sentences. Essay establishes a clear plan of development. Transitions are clear throughout most of the paper. Demonstrates good understanding of organization.

Clear and effective introduction, body, and conclusion: Introduction establishes the essay’s main idea, and conclusion summarizes thesis and main ideas without merely copying and pasting from the introduction. Clear and effective transitions are present throughout the paper. Demonstrates excellent understanding of organization.

5 / 5

Word choice, repetition, redundancy, awkwardness, article misuse, wrong word form (their/there, etc.), typos/misspellings, vocabulary

May contain more than 8 errors in word choice, wordiness, redundancy, or awkwardness. <br />May contain more than 8 errors in inappropriate language for academic audience. <br />Fails to demonstrate clarity in most sentences throughout the paper. The lack of lucidity makes it difficult for the reader to determine the paper’s focus.

May contain more than 6 errors in word choice, wordiness, redundancy, or awkwardness. <br />May contain more than 6 errors in inappropriate language for academic audience. <br />Fails to demonstrate competent language use; sentences and vocabulary are inappropriate, facile, and/or incoherent.

May contain 6 errors in word choice, wordiness, redundancy, or awkwardness. <br />May contain 6 errors in inappropriate language for academic audience. <br />Contains repetitive, incorrect, and/or insufficient sentence structure and/or limited vocabulary.

POINTS (3.50)

POINTS (4)

POINTS (5)

GRAMMAR (10%)

POINTS (0)

POINTS (2)

POINTS (3)

POINTS (3.50)

POINTS (4)

POINTS (5)

PUNCTUATION (10%)

POINTS (0)

POINTS (2)

POINTS (3)

POINTS (3.50)

POINTS

May contain 4 – 5 errors in word choice, wordiness, redundancy, or awkwardness. <br />May contain 2 – 3 errors in inappropriate language for academic audience. <br />Demonstrates competency with language use but sentence constructions and vocabulary may be limited or repetitive.

May contain 2 – 3 errors in word choice, wordiness, redundancy, or awkwardness. <br />May contain 2 – 3 errors in inappropriate language for academic audience. <br />Demonstrates sufficient knowledge and skill with varied sentence construction and vocabulary. Unnecessary repetition is minor.

May contain 1 error in inappropriate language for academic audience. <br />Demonstrates sophisticated knowledge and skill with varied and complex sentence construction and vocabulary. Little-to-no unnecessary repetition.

3.50 / 5

Fragments, subject-verb agreement, verb tense errors, verb form errors, run-ons, pronoun agreement

Contains more than 7 different grammar errors. <br />The identical 5+ errors may be repeated throughout. <br /><br />

Contains more than 5 different punctuation/capitalization errors. <br />The identical 3 – 4 errors may be repeated throughout.

Contains 4 – 5 different punctuation/capitalization errors. The identical 2 – 3 errors may be repeated throughout.

Contains 2 – 3 different punctuation/capitalization errors. The identical 1 – 2 errors may be repeated throughout.

Contains 1 punctuation/capitalization error, which may be repeated throughout the essay.

Contains either no punctuation/capitalization error, or 1 – 2 different errors with no repetition.

3.50 / 5

Comma errors, comma splices, apostrophe errors, capitalization errors, semicolon errors, colon errors

Contains more than 7 different punctuation/capitalization errors. <br />The identical 5+ errors may be repeated throughout.

Contains more than 5 different punctuation/capitalization errors. <br />The identical 3 – 4 errors may be repeated throughout.

Contains 4 – 5 different punctuation/capitalization errors. The identical 2 – 3 errors may be repeated throughout.

Contains 2 – 3 different punctuation/capitalization errors. The identical 1 – 2 errors may be repeated throughout.

Contains 1 punctuation/capitalization error, which may be repeated throughout the essay.

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POINTS (5)

FORMAT (10%)

POINTS (0)

POINTS (2)

POINTS (3)

POINTS (3.50)

POINTS (4)

POINTS (5)

PRESENTATION (10%)

POINTS (0)

POINTS (2)

POINTS (3)

Contains either no punctuation/capitalization error, or 1 – 2 different errors with no repetition.

3 / 5

heading, title, margins, spacing, length*, underlined thesis, other assignment-specific required elements *Length minimum for personal narrative: 500 words

Format or word minimum is completely lacking. Formatting may be missing five or more elements (either no title, incomplete heading, inappropriate spacing or margins, and/or thesis not underlined). Essay is severely underdeveloped, such that it includes only a paragraph or two.

Doesn’t meet formatting requirements. Formatting may be missing four or more elements (either no title, incomplete heading, inappropriate spacing or margins, or thesis not underlined). Length may not meet minimum requirements.

Doesn’t meet most formatting requirements. Formatting may be missing three elements (either no title, incomplete heading, inappropriate spacing or margins, or thesis not underlined). Length may not meet minimum requirements

Meets some formatting requirements. Formatting may be missing two elements (either no title, incomplete heading, inappropriate spacing or margins, or thesis not underlined). Length may not meet minimum requirements (an essay that does not meet length minimum will score no higher than 3 in this category)

Meets most formatting requirements. Formatting may be missing one element (either no title, incomplete heading, inappropriate spacing or margins, or thesis not underlined). Length meets minimum requirements (at least 500 words).

Meets all requirements. Formatting is appropriate in terms of heading, title, margins, spacing, underlining thesis. Length meets minimum requirements (at least 500 words).

3.50 / 5

Layout, text, photos, colors *Photo minimum for personal narrative: 3 images

Essay does not attempt to use any special formatting, such as variation in text size and font, use of color, or implementation of photos. Essay may appear as a standard 1-3-1 layout.

Poor overall document layout and spacing. Text sizes and fonts do not vary much and may be inappropriate in terms of presentation and location. Images somewhat represent the related ideas in the essay. The overall color scheme may lack fluidity. The essay uses one photo (or none) in the body of the essay.

Insufficient overall document layout and spacing. Text sizes and fonts do not vary much and may be inappropriate in terms of presentation and location. Images somewhat represent the related ideas in the essay. The overall color scheme may lack fluidity. The essay uses two photos in the body of the essay.

POINTS (3.50)

POINTS (4)

POINTS (5)

Adequate overall document layout and spacing. Text sizes and fonts somewhat vary and are mostly appropriate in terms of presentation and location. Images are close to representing the related ideas in the essay. The overall color scheme has decent fluidity. The essay uses two photos in the body of the essay.

Sufficient overall document layout and spacing. Text sizes and fonts vary and are mostly appropriate in terms of presentation and location. Images represent the related ideas in the essay. The overall color scheme has fluidity. The essay uses at least three photos in the body of the essay.

Exceptional overall document layout and spacing. Text sizes and fonts vary and are appropriate in terms of presentation and location. Images represent the related ideas in the essay. The overall color scheme has fluidity. The essay uses at least three photos in the body of the essay.