Gap, and summary to support the GAP

Full Terms & Conditions of access and use can be found at https://www.tandfonline.com/action/journalInformation?journalCode=wmfr20

Marriage & Family Review

ISSN: 0149-4929 (Print) 1540-9635 (Online) Journal homepage: https://www.tandfonline.com/loi/wmfr20

Perceptions of Parental Intimate Relationships and Their Affects on the Experience of Romantic Relationship Development Among African American Emerging Adults

Kim Allen & Sonja Mitchell

To cite this article: Kim Allen & Sonja Mitchell (2015) Perceptions of Parental Intimate Relationships and Their Affects on the Experience of Romantic Relationship Development Among African American Emerging Adults, Marriage & Family Review, 51:6, 516-543, DOI: 10.1080/01494929.2015.1038409

To link to this article: https://doi.org/10.1080/01494929.2015.1038409

Accepted author version posted online: 16 Apr 2015. Published online: 20 Aug 2015.

Submit your article to this journal

Article views: 501

View related articles

View Crossmark data

Citing articles: 3 View citing articles

Perceptions of Parental Intimate Relationships and Their Affects on the Experience of Romantic Relationship

Development Among African American Emerging Adults

KIM ALLEN The Department of Youth, Family, and Community Sciences, North Carolina State

University, Raleigh, North Carolina, USA

SONJA MITCHELL Virginia Tech Cooperative Extension, Virginia Tech University, Toano, Virginia, USA

The quality of romantic relationships that parents maintain has an impact on their children. Emerging adult children base their relationships on similar values and=or opposing beliefs of their parental romantic relationships. This phenomenological study aimed to ident- ify how African American emerging adults experience their parental romantic relationships and how they find meaning in the romantic relationships of their parents. Results suggest that African American emerging adults develop both positive and negative perceptions about romantic relationships from their parents’ relationships, which affect the way these adults perceive, develop, and maintain their own romantic unions. African American emerging adults also find meaning in their parental couple relationships as they share similar experiences in their relationship quality, mate choice, and=or personal or mate characteristics and personality traits as their parents.

KEYWORDS African American, emerging adult, intimate relationships, parental influence, qualitative

Address correspondence to Kim Allen, The Department of Youth, Family, and Community Sciences, North Carolina State University, Raleigh, NC 27695, USA. E-mail: Kimberly_allen@ ncsu.edu

Marriage & Family Review, 51:516–543, 2015 Copyright # Taylor & Francis Group, LLC ISSN: 0149-4929 print=1540-9635 online DOI: 10.1080/01494929.2015.1038409

516

INTRODUCTION

Research suggests that emerging adults tend to mimic positive parental romantic relationships, whereas observed negative relationships affect emerg- ing adult’s ability to develop and maintain romantic unions (Underwood & Rosen, 2011). For example, adolescents and young adults who experienced parental divorce or separation may experience instability and low satisfaction in their own romantic relationships as emerging adults, whereas young adults who experience parental remarriage or a healthy parental couple relationship are likely to have favorable behavioral outcomes and relationship satisfaction (Sassler, Cunningham, & Litcher, 2009). Whether they realize it or not, the romantic relationships parents build and maintain play a significant role in how their children conduct their own romantic relationships.

The role that parents play in relation to developing and maintaining healthy relationships is especially important in the African American com- munity because many of today’s families are run by single and=or teenage parents who are or will be developing and maintaining romantic relationships while parenting (Underwood & Rosen, 2011). Sixty-seven percent of African American youth live in single-parent households, and less than half of African American adults are married (Parent, Jones, Forehand, Cuellar, & Shoulberg, 2013). Only 46% of African American adults are reared from two-parent house- holds where parents are married (Phillips, Wilmoth, & Marks, 2012). Although adolescent pregnancy and childbearing rates among African Americans have been on the decline, research shows that African Americans are still more likely than their counterparts (White Americans and Asian Americans) to experience teen pregnancy (Barr, Simons, Simons, Gibbons, & Gerrard, 2012; Dallas, 2013). They are also more likely to have repeated pregnancies within the first 2 years of being parents and becoming pregnant or giving birth to children from different partners than their first born (Barr et al., 2012).

With 76% of African American households being run by single and teen- age parents, it is common to question what examples parents are setting for their adolescents and youth and what messages these youth are receiving when it comes to developing and maintaining healthy romantic relationships. With such a high risk of developing negative, conflict-oriented relationships, it is important to understand how lived experiences shape emerging adults’ perception of romantic unions (Masarik et al., 2012).

For African American emerging adults to develop and maintain positive and healthy romantic relationships, they must first identify what perceptions they have of relationships, how they developed these perceptions, and how these perceptions are applied in their personal relationship experiences (Towner, Dolcini, & Harper, 2012; Sassler et al., 2009). Awareness of this per- ception could become beneficial as participants grow to or already have chil- dren of their own, realizing their relationship choices could affect the way their children do or will conduct and maintain intimate relationships. This

Affects of Parental Relationship on Young Adults 517

realization will assist in the development of more positive, healthy emerging adult romantic relationships, which could foster healthy marriages, improve child well-being, and strengthen families in the African American community (African American Healthy Marriage Initiative, 2012).

This research aims to add to the field of relationship studies by offering insight on how perceived parental intimate relationships affect the experi- ence of romantic relationships among African American emerging adults. This research provides insight on how emerging African American adults find meaning in the romantic relationships of their parents, whether in quality, relationship obstacles, mate choice, personality traits, and=or characteristics.

REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE

Relationship Quality in African American Couples

Relationship quality can be referred to as the degree to which couples report their relationship standards or beliefs to be fulfilled (Vangelisti, 2012). For this study, relationships were viewed specifically among African American emerg- ing adults, and thus the definition for relationship quality is contingent on the limited romantic experiences of these young participants. Relationship factors that can determine the degree of quality and satisfaction consist of the level of emotional and sexual satisfaction, commitment, and trust (Ulaga & Eggert, 2006). Sexual satisfaction is said to be higher in couples who have a strong emotional and intimate bond in a committed relationship (Waite & Joyner, 2004). Quality of romantic relationships can also be measured by a couple’s ability to endure vulnerabilities, stressful events, and adapt to their environ- ment (Cutrona, Russell, Burzette, Wesner, & Bryant, 2011). A couple’s ability to interact effectively, regardless of stressful life events, influences a couple’s likelihood to endure vulnerabilities, which creates a strong relationship bond. The manner in which couples handle vulnerabilities and showcase resiliency in the face of stressful life events illustrates their adaptive processes, including the way both individuals function and implement conflict resolution in their relationship. This can be explained with Hill’s (1958) family stress model. The ABC-X theory helps explain that there are stressors in life and resilient families survive and endure these stressors over their lifetime.

The social and societal context of relationships in the African American community must also be viewed to better understand intimate relationships in emerging African American adults. A history of the intentional separation of com- mitted couples through enslavement has posed challenges for the contemporary couples (Patterson, 1998). Furthermore, current disparities, including punitive social policies and restricted access to resources and jobs due to institution and ecological racism, impact the lived experience of young African Americans (Dixon, 2009; Miller & Garran, 2007). These ecological norms impact the experi- ence of developing and sustaining mature love relationships (Tyson, 2012).

518 K. Allen and S. Mitchell

Differences and similarities are particularly important in relationship sat- isfaction and success. Partners in African American marriages who have dif- ferences in desired relationship standards and=or relationship beliefs are at high risk for marital dissolution and=or low relationship satisfaction (Phillips et al., 2012). More specifically, differences in religion=spirituality, desired number of children and parenting beliefs, sexual intimacy, financial values, and levels of independence in marriage divide African American couples. Overcoming these differences requires personal change and compromise, in which individuals show a willingness to change for their relationships (Clarkwest, 2007). Jackson, Lincoln, and Taylor (2008) report a higher level of marriage satisfaction in African American women who were able to work with their spouse on individual growth and compromise for the betterment of their relationship. African American marriages that have high levels of positive couple agreement, especially agreement in communication styles, finances, and intimacy, have a stronger emotional bond and higher level of relationship satisfaction (Allen & Olsen, 2001).

Regardless of similarities and differences, all relationships require give and take. Successful relationships in African American marriages must include the give and take of interpersonal resources such as romance, love, and esteem between partners (Gaines et al., 1999). The exchange of interper- sonal resources between partners is based on the couple’s ability to recipro- cate one another’s gestures toward romance, love, and esteem. Reciprocation of these resources allows clarification on couple identity and depletes uncer- tainty of the relationship (Vangelisti, 2012). African American couples that are unable to exchange and reciprocate interpersonal resources are more likely to suffer from self-uncertainty, partner uncertainty, and relationship uncertainty.

Of course, having certainty in the relationship is often contingent on having certainty in other life arenas such as employment and job security. Couples that face money issues tend to have more troubled relationships than financially secure couples (Bryant, Taylor, Lincoln, Chatters, & Jackson, 2008). Marriage satisfaction is particularly determined by socioeconomic fac- tors in the African American community (Phillips et al., 2012). Low socioeco- nomic status in the African American community consists of factors, such as low education, higher poverty rates, poor health, and inequality in wealth and quality of life (American Psychological Association, 2013). These inequalities in society limit African Americans’ economic opportunities to advance in human capital, which limits their ability to acquire higher wage jobs for more financial stability in the household (Clarkwest, 2007).

Although socioeconomic stressors can weigh heavily on a couple, African American couples are often able to find support from socioeconomic stressors through religion=spirituality (Durodoye, 1997). Religious involve- ment has been found to increase the level of satisfaction and marriage stab- ility within African American couples and even the possibility of both

Affects of Parental Relationship on Young Adults 519

biological parents in the home if children are present (Cutrona et al., 2011). African Americans often use religion and spirituality to advocate for marriage and healthy relationships in the Black community (Durodoye, 1997). Religion and church attendance can be associated with commitment and family and relationship stability, resulting in enhanced promotion of marriage and relationship satisfaction among African American couples, especially those with children.

The literature reveals that marital and relationship satisfaction among Afri- can American adults can be affected by a couple’s ability to sustain through vulnerabilities and stress, adapt to life changes, have skills for conflict manage- ment, maintain spiritual connections, and financial=economic stability (Bryant et al., 2008; Cutrona et al., 2011). African American relationship satisfaction can also be affected by more specific economic circumstances such as household income, financial strain, and relationship hardship, along with relationship characteristics such as the length in time of the union and relationship history (Bryant et al., 2008).

Romantic Relationships Among Emerging Adults

As youth move from middle school to high school and on to college, beliefs about the qualities that are important for successful romantic relationships evolve. Black adolescents report longer lasting relationships (lasting up to a year or longer) than White, Hispanic, and Asian adolescents (Karney, 2007). These relationships are often characterized by emotional involvement, including expressions such as love, public displays of affection, and the exchanging of gifts. Ultimately, these adolescents endorse the ideas of healthy relationships and goals leading to healthy, happy marriages and seek to behave in such ways that constitute and illustrate these ideas and goals.

Along with age and sexual behavior, length of healthy emerging adult’s romantic relationships can also be determined by romantic competence and couple maturation (Shulman, Davila, & Shachar-Shapira, 2010). Highly=more competent emerging adults have been found to have longer lasting relation- ships than those less competent couples. Romantically competent couples are expected to have mutually intimate and rewarding relationships, as they are determined to be more sensitive to the needs of their partner (Cook, Buehler, & Blair, 2013). Their ability to balance the needs of themselves and their partner allows for less superficial and short-lived relationships.

Intimate Relationship Violence in African American Emerging Adults

Adolescent dating violence is becoming a high health risk in the public health field (Martin, Houston, Mmari, & Decker, 2011). One in four African American young and emerging adults suffers from intimate relationship violence (Simons, Simons, Lei, & Landor, 2012). Intimate partner violence

520 K. Allen and S. Mitchell

(IPV) refers to any physical, sexual, verbal, and=or emotional abuse of one partner from the other that takes place within intimate relationships (Decker et al., 2011; Taft, Bryant-Davis, Woodward, Tillman, & Torres, 2009).

Between 12% and 59% of African American high school students have experienced abuse, whether physical, verbal, or emotional, in their romantic relationships (Black & Weisz, 2003). African American females are said to be more susceptible to IPV because of mate choice and vulnerability. African American males are more prone to be the aggressor in their intimate relation- ship because of displaced anger and the need to control (Landor et al., 2012).

These statistics of violence in African American young and emerging adult relationships have a direct correlation to African American youth’s abil- ity to develop and maintain healthy, nonviolent relationships (Landor et al., 2012). Although the literature reveals that African American girls were found to be susceptible to IPV because of mate choice and vulnerability, it is recog- nized that these two factors can be associated with victim blaming. This study recognizes that IPV in the African American community among adolescents can be associated with cultural factors that allow and permit relationship viol- ence. However, insight on these factors are not provided or discussed in this research. With many IPV cases going unnoticed or unreported, it is urgent to instill the importance of maintaining healthy romantic relationships as it relates to positive growth and development.

Social Learning Theory and the Perception of Parental Intimate Relationships in Emerging Adults

Social learning theory suggests that behavior can be learned through observ- ing the actions of others (Bandura, 1977). Drawing from the social learning theory, it has been said that emerging adults’ self-efficacy beliefs and percep- tions can be derived from their role models, who are typically their parents (Basuil & Casper, 2012). Cui and Fincham (2010) used social learning theory to suggest that in addition to learned behaviors, emerging adults are more likely to develop their attitudes toward marriage and divorce by observing their parent’s marriage and divorce. As a result, young=emerging adults may indeed acquire their behavior in romantic relationships from observing martial interactions between their parents.

Trotter (2010) suggests that potential marriages, especially among college-aged adults, are at risk for dissolution because of the lack of healthy examples displayed by parental intimate relationships. A decline in marriage rates and an increase in single-parent homes have left young adults with a possible negative outlook on romantic relationships and marriage. In a study of 238 unmarried African American college students, 74% of participants indi- cated that relationships they observed of their parents had an influence on their views of romantic relationships, including their own personal intimate relationships (Trotter, 2010). Of these participants, 82% of participants from

Affects of Parental Relationship on Young Adults 521

nondivorced=two-parent homes reported more positive influences from their parents in regards to intimate relationships, whereas 58% of participants from divorced=single-parent homes reported more negative influences. Despite these theories, emerging adults who desire to build and maintain healthy relationships, even if their parents were unable to sustain healthy, stable rela- tionships, are still very likely to hold positive romantic relationships in attempt to avoid repetition of observed negative behaviors from their parents (Zimmer-Gembeck & Madsen, 2011).

Applying the social learning theory to the influences that parental romantic relationships have on emerging adults’ relationships suggests that emerging adults can learn certain behaviors through observation of their par- ents (Basuil & Casper, 2012). The literature and studies on the effects of par- ental intimate relationships on emerging adults all conclude that children who observe negative, unstable relationships are more susceptible to illus- trating these same negative aspects in their adult relationships, whereas chil- dren who observe positive, healthy parental romantic relationships are more likely to illustrate positive aspects in their own relationships (Cui & Fincham, 2010; Trotter, 2010).

There is a need for more research and a specific need for a richer understanding of the experience of African American emerging adults in relationship development. Although strong evidence shows that parental couple relationships can influence relationship development among emerging adults, there is a deficit of research that seeks to understand the experiences and influences emerging adults receive from observing parental relationships. This research study examines the perceptions of the quality of parental roman- tic relationships and its effect on the choices, decisions, mate selection, and quality of intimate relationships among emerging African American adults.

METHODS

Through phenomenological methodology, this study sought to explore how perceived parental intimate relationships affect the experience of romantic relationships among emerging African American adults. According to Creswell (1994), phenomenological studies examine human experiences through detailed descriptions of the people being studied. Snowball sam- pling was used to recruit participants for this study. The study consisted of four African American women and two men between the ages of 18 and 24.

Six over-the-phone interviews were conducted, each lasting between 45 minutes to an hour. Although the interviews were unstructured, guiding questions were used to retrieve dialogue on specific topics. Questions such as ‘‘tell me about your parents’ current intimate relationship,’’ ‘‘what was your parents’ intimate relationship like when you were growing up?,’’ and ‘‘tell me about your experience with romantic relationships’’ aimed to provide insight

522 K. Allen and S. Mitchell

on the participant’s experience of their personal and parental intimate relationships. Participants shared perceived experiences of their parental romantic relationships from childhood to emerging adulthood as well as experiences with their own romantic relationships from young to emerging adulthood. The interviews ended with the researcher informing the parti- cipants on the next process of the study; participants were informed that they may be contacted for clarity of information if needed. Participants were then asked to provide their business or home address, if and only if they wished to receive a thank you card and small gift basket for participating in the study. Table 1 illustrates participant demographics for all six persons in the study.

Methodology Analysis

The qualitative methodological approach used for this study was Moustakas’s version of the Stevick-Colaizzi-Keen phenomenological analysis for qualitat- ive studies. Data for individual participants and the group were analyzed using both textural and structural themes. Textural descriptions are those that are apparent and include verbatim examples from the participant, whereas structural descriptions are those that are initially nonapparent but are discov- ered through analysis by the researcher (Moustakas, 1994). The researchers individually and then collectively identified codes for textural and structural descriptions. Bracketing was used to help ensure the researcher mitigate unacknowledged preconceptions. This was done through regular conversa- tions between coresearchers during data collection and analysis to identify and process emotionally heavy content. The five most common codes ident- ified in the research were fatherlessness, parental marriage dissolution, single-parent home, parental financial instability, and adolescent exposure to parental disagreements. In total, there were 37 codes that were clustered into five themes: quality of parental couple relationships, reaction to parent’s split, perception of quality of relationship with parents, parental household demographics, and perception of quality of personal relationships in emerg- ing adulthood=IPV. This article focuses primarily on the composite themes found for the group.

RESULTS

Description of the Sample

The sample for this study consisted of six African American emerging adults between the ages of 18 and 24 (four women and two men). The sample con- sisted of two college graduates, two graduate students, one undergraduate student, and one high school graduate. Participants were located in a variety of rural and suburban areas in Virginia and North Carolina. Five participants were currently in romantic relationships but not married, and one participant

Affects of Parental Relationship on Young Adults 523

T A

B L E

1 P a rt ic

ip a n t D

e m

o g ra

p h ic

s

P a rt ic

ip a n t

1 2

3 4

5 6

S e x

M a le

F e m

a le

F e m

a le

M a le

F e m

a le

F e m

a le

A g e , y r

2 4

2 3

2 4

2 4

1 8

2 4

S e x u a l

p re

fe re

n c e

H e te

ro se

x u a l

H e te

ro se

x u a l

H e te

ro se

x u a l

H e te

ro se

x u a l

H e te

ro se

x u a l

H e te

ro se

x u a l

N o . o f c h il d re

n 0

0 0

0 0

0 E d u c a ti o n

C o ll e g e

g ra

d u a te

G ra

d u a te

st u d e n t

C o ll e g e

g ra

d u a te

C o ll e g e

st u d e n t

H ig

h sc

h o o l g ra

d u a te

G ra

d u a te

st u d e n t

C u rr

e n t

re la

ti o n sh

ip st

a tu

s

C u rr

e n tl y

in ro

m a n ti c

re la

ti o n sh

ip b u t n o t

m a rr

ie d

C u rr

e n tl y

in ro

m a n ti c

re la

ti o n sh

ip b u t n o t

m a rr

ie d

C o h a b it in

g w

it h

c u rr

e n t m

a te

N o t in

ro m

a n ti c

re la

ti o n sh

ip o r

d a ti n g

C u rr

e n tl y

in ro

m a n ti c

re la

ti o n sh

ip b u t n o t

m a rr

ie d

C o h a b it in

g w

it h

c u rr

e n t m

a te

C u rr

e n tl y

in ro

m a n ti c

re la

ti o n sh

ip b u t n o t

m a rr

ie d

C u rr

e n tl y

d a ti n g

C u rr

e n t

p a re

n ta

l re

la ti o n sh

ip st

a tu

s

P a re

n ts

d iv

o rc

e d

P a re

n ts

d iv

o rc

e d

M o th

e r

c o h a b it in

g w

it h

c u rr

e n t m

a te

P a re

n ts

m a rr

ie d

P a re

n ts

m a rr

ie d

P a re

n ts

d iv

o rc

e d

P a re

n ts

m a rr

ie d

524

was single and currently not dating. The sample did consist of one couple, but participants were interviewed at separate times on different dates. These participants were the only cohabiting couple in the study. None of the part- icipants in this study had children.

Three participants grew up in a single-parent home, resulting from par- ental marriage dissolution during the participant’s adolescent years. Three participants grew up in a two-parent household, with their parents currently still married. The following sections consist of participant descriptions and themes for each of the six participants in this study. Tables 2 and 3 provide brief descriptions and quotes of the findings for the textural and structural themes found in the research, including how participants identified with each theme.

Composite Textural Description of All Participants

Textural descriptions were formed by analyzing units of meaning for all part- icipants and grouping them together to identify shared experiences. Textural descriptions for participants included perception of quality of parental cou- ple relationships, reaction to parent’s split, perception of quality of relation- ship with parents, parental household demographics, and perception of quality of personal relationships in emerging adulthood=IPV. As adolescents and young adults, observing their parent’s couple relationships shaped their views on how relationships should and should not be conducted and how to conduct themselves as a mate. Not all participants observed negative lived experiences growing up, but those who did experienced the most personal growth as emerging adults when learning to develop and maintain a healthy romantic relationship.

QUALITY OF PARENTAL COUPLE RELATIONSHIPS

In the first textural theme, perception of quality of parental couple relation- ships, participants shared how they perceived their parent’s couple relation- ship to be as adolescents and young adults growing up. Although some participants’ parents separated and divorced over time, all participants were initially born into a two-parent home. Participants who witnessed the dissol- ution of their parent’s couple relationship all initially perceived their parent’s union to be of positive quality as a child. As participants grew older, how- ever, it became clear their parents suffered from obstacles that would eventu- ally lead to the demise of their relationship. Common relationship obstacles mentioned in this theme were communication, arguing, financial instability, infidelity, abuse, and drug and alcohol use. Participants who had firsthand exposure to these obstacles gradually changed their perception of their par- ent’s couple relationship from positive to negative.

Affects of Parental Relationship on Young Adults 525

T A

B L E

2 T e x tu

ra l T h e m

e s

Id e n ti fi e d

in th

e D

a ta

fo r

P a rt ic

ip a n ts

T e x tu

ra l th

e m

e s

P a rt ic

ip a n t 1

P a rt ic

ip a n t 2

P a rt ic

ip a n t 3

P a rt ic

ip a n t 4

P a rt ic

ip a n t 5

P a rt ic

ip a n t 6

P e rc

e p ti o n

o f

q u a li ty

o f

p a re

n ta

l c o u p le

re la

ti o n sh

ip s

P o si

ti v e

p e rc

e p ti o n

o f

p a re

n ta

l c o u p le

re la

ti o n sh

ip a s

a d o le

sc e n t u n ti l

p a re

n ta

l m

a rr

ia g e

d is

so lu

ti o n . P a re

n ts

o n ly

sp e a k

if it

p e rt a in

s to

th e

p a rt ic

ip a n t.

V e ry

p o si

ti v e

p e rc

e p ti o n

o f

p a re

n ta

l c o u p le

re la

ti o n sh

ip a s

a d o le

sc e n t.

P a re

n ta

l m

a ri ta

l d is

so lu

ti o n

a s

y o u n g

a d u lt .

M o th

e r

c u rr

e n tl y

in a

n e w

, c o h a b it a ti n g

re la

ti o n sh

ip .

P o si

ti v e

p e rc

e p ti o n

o f

p a re

n t’ s

m a rr

ia g e .

P a re

n ts

c u rr

e n tl y

st il l

m a rr

ie d ; lo

v in

g h o m

e . P a re

n ts

st il l in

ti m

a te

w it h

o n e

a n o th

e r.

V e ry

p o si

ti v e

p e rc

e p ti o n

o f

p a re

n t’ s

m a rr

ia g e .

P a re

n ts

st il l

c u rr

e n tl y

m a rr

ie d ; v e ry

lo v in

g h o m

e .

P a re

n ts

a lw

a y s

p u tt in

g fa

m il y

a n d

G o d

fi rs

t.

V e ry

n e g a ti v e

p e rc

e p ti o n

o f

p a re

n t’ s

m a rr

ia g e . F a th

e r

w a s

d ru

g a d d ic

t a n d

a lc

o h o li c .

P a re

n ts

h a d

a b u si

v e

re la

ti o n sh

ip ;

m u c h

tu rm

o il

in h o m

e .

R o c k y

p e rc

e p ti o n

o f p a re

n t’ s

m a rr

ia g e .

P a re

n ts

h a v e

lo v in

g m

a rr

ia g e

b u t su

ff e r

fr o m

h e a v y

a rg

u m

e n ts

. F a th

e r

fu n c ti o n in

g a lc

o h o li c .

P e rc

e p ti o n

o f

q u a li ty

o f

re la

ti o n sh

ip s

w it h

p a re

n ts

C lo

se r

re la

ti o n sh

ip w

it h

m o th

e r

th a n

fa th

e r.

S u ff e re

d fr

o m

fa th

e rl e ss

n e ss

a s

a c h il d .

C lo

se r

re la

ti o n sh

ip w

it h

m o th

e r

th a n

fa th

e r.

C o n si

d e rs

m o th

e r

h e r

b e st

fr ie

n d .

F a th

e r

w a s

n e g a ti v e

ro le

m o d e l.

E x p o se

d p a rt ic

ip a n t to

h is

in fi d e li ty

, d ru

g u se

, a n d

v io

le n c e

a s

a n

a d o le

sc e n t a n d

y o u n g

a d u lt .

R e a c ti o n

to p a re

n t’ s

sp li t

V e ry

a n g ry

w h e n

p a re

n ts

d iv

o rc

e d .

T ro

u b le

w it h

b e h a v io

r a n d

a c a d e m

ic s

in sc

h o o l.

E m

o ti o n a ll y

n u m

b w

h e n

p a re

n ts

sp li t (r

e v e a le

d n o

e m

o ti o n ).

P a re

n ta

l h o u se

h o ld

d e m

o g ra

p h ic

s

W e n t fr

o m

tw o -p

a re

n t h o m

e to

si n g le

-p a re

n t

h o m

e . F in

a n c ia

l in

st a b il it y

a ft e r

p a re

n ta

l m

a ri ta

l

T w

o -p

a re

n t

h o u se

h o ld

g ro

w in

g u p . M

o th

e r

w a s

b re

a d w

in n e r

in h o m

e ; fa

th e r

w a s

u n e m

p lo

y e d . W

e n t

M o th

e r

b re

a d w

in n e r

in th

e h o m

e g ro

w in

g u p .

F a th

e r

w a s

c o n st

a n tl y

M o th

e r is

c u rr

e n tl y

b re

a d w

in n e r

in h o m

e ; fa

th e r

is u n e m

p lo

y e d .

M o th

e r

is c a re

g iv

e r

to

526

d is

so lu

ti o n .

fr o m

tw o -p

a re

n t

h o m

e to

si n g le

-p a re

n t

h o m

e .

a b u si

n g

th e

fa m

il y

fi n a n c e s.

W e n t fr

o m

tw o -p

a re

n t

h o m

e to

si n g le

-p a re

n t

h o m

e .

fa th

e r

d u e

to si

g n if ic

a n t a g e

d if fe

re n c e .

P e rc

e p ti o n

o f

q u a li ty

o f

p e rs

o n a l

re la

ti o n sh

ip s

in e m

e rg

in g

a d u lt h o o d = IP

V

N e g a ti v e

p e rc

e p ti o n

in y o u n g

a d u lt h o o d ; a n g e r

a n d

c o m

m u n ic

a ti o n

b a rr

ie rs

. P o si

ti v e

p e rc

e p ti o n

in e m

e rg

in g

a d u lt h o o d ;

c u rr

e n tl y

in ro

m a n ti c

re la

ti o n sh

ip .

N e g a ti v e

p e rc

e p ti o n

in y o u n g

a d u lt h o o d . In

v e rb

a ll y

a b u si

v e

u n io

n a s

y o u n g

a d u lt . P o si

ti v e

p e rc

e p ti o n

in e m

e rg

in g

a d u lt h o o d ;

c u rr

e n tl y

in ro

m a n ti c

re la

ti o n sh

ip .

N e g a ti v e

p e rc

e p ti o n

in y o u n g

a d u lt h o o d .

S u ff e re

d fr

o m

v e rb

a ll y

a b u si

v e

a n d

c o n tr o ll in

g u n io

n a s

y o u n g

a d u lt . N

e g a ti v e

p e rc

e p ti o n

in e m

e rg

in g

a d u lt h o o d ; n o t

c u rr

e n tl y

d a ti n g .

N e g a ti v e

p e rc

e p ti o n

in y o u n g

a d u lt h o o d .

P o si

ti v e

p e rc

e p ti o n

in e m

e rg

in g

a d u lt h o o d ;

c u rr

e n tl y

in ro

m a n ti c

re la

ti o n sh

ip .

N e g a ti v e

p e rc

e p ti o n

in y o u n g

a d u lt h o o d . In

p h y si

c a ll y

a n d

v e rb

a ll y

a b u si

v e

u n io

n a s

y o u n g

a d u lt . P o si

ti v e

p e rc

e p ti o n

in e m

e rg

in g

a d u lt h o o d ;

c u rr

e n tl y

in ro

m a n ti c

re la

ti o n sh

ip .

N e g a ti v e

p e rc

e p ti o n

in y o u n g

a d u lt h o o d . In

p h y si

c a ll y

a n d

v e rb

a ll y

a b u si

v e

u n io

n a s

y o u n g

a d u lt .

In -b

e tw

e e n

p e rc

e p ti o n

o f in

e m

e rg

in g

a d u lt h o o d ;

c u rr

e n tl y

d a ti n g .

T e x tu

ra l d e sc

ri p ti o n s

w e re

d e ri v e d

fr o m

th e

li v e d

e x p e ri e n c e s

o f p a rt ic

ip a n ts

. N

o t a ll

p a rt ic

ip a n ts

sh a re

d e x p e ri e n c e s

th a t id

e n ti fi e d

w it h

e a c h

th e m

e . E m

p ty

b o x e s

re p re

se n t n o

d a ta

fr o m

p a rt ic

ip a n t in

g iv

e n

a re

a .

527

T A

B L E

3 S tr u c tu

ra l T h e m

e s

Id e n ti fi e d

in th

e D

a ta

fo r

P a rt ic

ip a n ts

S tr u c tu

ra l th

e m

e s

P a rt ic

ip a n t 1

P a rt ic

ip a n t 2

P a rt ic

ip a n t 3

P a rt ic

ip a n t 4

P a rt ic

ip a n t 5

P a rt ic

ip a n t 6

P e rc

e iv

e d

e ff e c ts

fr o m

e x p e ri e n c e s

o f

p a re

n ta

l c o u p le

re la

ti o n sh

ip (s

)

� ‘ ‘Y

e a

c o m

m u n ic

a ti o n ,

I h a d

tr o u b le

w it h

th a t ..

.b e in

g a b le

to le

t y o u r

p a rt n e r

k n o w

h o w

y o u

fe e l. ’’

� ‘ ‘E

v e n

n o w

th e

re la

ti o n sh

ip m

y m

o m

a n d

m y

d a d

h a d

in fr

o n t

o f m

e , it

d e fi n it e ly

e ff e c ts

m y

re la

ti o n sh

ip s

th a t I

h a v e

w it h

y o u

k n o w

m y

si g n if ic

a n t o th

e r

in m

y li fe

.’ ’

P e rc

e iv

e d

p a re

n ta

l in

fl u e n c e

� ‘ ‘I

k n o w

m y

p a re

n ts

h a v e

b o th

to ld

m e

to lo

o k

fo r

c e rt a in

th in

g s

in a

g u y

.. .l

ik e

h o w

d o e s

h e

tr e a t h is

m o m

.. .t h in

g s

li k e

th a t. ’’

� ‘ ‘M

y p a re

n ts

a c tu

a ll y

sa id

h a v e

fu n , a n d

I c a n

se e

th a t

h a v in

g fu

n a n d

la u g h te

r is

th e

k e y

to a

g o o d

re la

ti o n sh

ip ..

.. ’’

� ‘ ‘T

h e

p e rs

o n

w h o

h a s

re a ll y

g iv

e n

m e

a d v ic

e b e tw

e e n

m y

p a re

n ts

is m

y m

o m

.’ ’

R e la

ti o n sh

ip s

w it h

o th

e rs

� ‘ ‘O

h w

o w

, sh

e [m

a te

] b a si

c a ll y

re m

in d s

m e

o f

m y

m o m

ri g h t

n o w

.. .w

h ic

h is

a g o o d

th in

g fo

r th

e m

o st

p a rt

.. .I

h a v e n ’t

re a ll y

se e n

n o

b a d

in it

re a ll y .’ ’

� ‘ ‘I

th in

k in

m y

p a st

re la

ti o n sh

ip s

I w

a s

a lw

a y s

lo o k in

g fo

r p e o p le

b e c a u se

I w

a s

d ra

w n

to th

e ir

p o te

n ti a l. .. w

h e re

a s

n o w

I th

in k

I’ m

fi n a ll y

w it h

so m

e o n e

th a t is

st ri v in

g to

g ro

w a n d

w a n t so

m e

o f

th e

v e ry

sa m

e

� ‘ ‘S

o I’ v e

n e v e r

g o tt e n

li k e

th e

fu ll

.. .l

ik e

fu ll

fl e d g e

I’ m

d a ti n g

so m

e o n e

a n d

w e ’r e

in to

e a c h

o th

e r,

le t’ s

se e

w h e re

th is

g o e s

d e a l. ’’

528

th in

g s.

’’ P e rc

e iv

e d

se lf -g

ro w

th � ‘ ‘B

u t m

y m

o m

fi n a ll y

k n o c k e d

so m

e se

n se

in m

e ..

.i t g o t

b e tt e r li k e

.. .m

y a tt it u d e

g o t

b e tt e r. ’’

� ‘ ‘B

u t in

th is

re la

ti o n sh

ip I

a m

re a ll y

le a rn

in g

to c o m

p ro

m is

e .. .. ’’

G iv

in g

to o th

e rs

� I ju

st w

a n t to

h e lp

p e o p le

a n d

m a k e

p e o p le

h a p p y

.. .. ’’

P e rc

e iv

e d

c o m

m o n a li ti e s

w it h

p a re

n ts

� ‘ ‘M

y m

o m

li k e s

b e in

g in

c h a rg

e a n d

in c o n tr o l. .. . I’ m

a c o n tr o l fr

e a k , I

li k e

e v e ry

th in

g to

b e

d o n e

m y

w a y

.. .. ’’

� ’ ’. .. a

lo t o f

ti m

e s

n o w

I se

e m

y m

o m

ju st

n a g .. .. I

d o n ’t

k n o w

if I

to o k

a ft e r

th a t b u t I

n a g g e d

a lo

t. ’’

� I d e n ti fi e d

w it h

th e m

e . S tr u c tu

ra l th

e m

e s

w e re

id e n ti fi e d

in th

e d a ta

fo r

e a c h

p a rt ic

ip a n t’ s

li v e d

e x p e ri e n c e s.

E x a m

p le

s o f

th e se

a re

il lu

st ra

te d

th ro

u g h

p a rt ic

ip a n ts

’

q u o te

s. N

o t a ll

e x p e ri e n c e s

re v e a le

d b y

p a rt ic

ip a n ts

id e n ti fi e d

w it h

e v e ry

th e m

e . E m

p ty

b o x e s

re p re

se n t n o

d a ta

fr o m

p a rt ic

ip a n t in

g iv

e n

a re

a .

529

These participants’ family structures shifted from the traditional two-parent home to single-parent households. After their parents’ relation- ship dissolution, most participants found themselves suffering from fatherless- ness. Obstacles such as infidelity and drug and alcohol use forced the participants’ mothers to separate themselves and their families from the insta- bility and heartbreak their fathers caused while in the home. Relationship quality between father and child quickly decreased for these participants once their parents ended their couple relationship (this is further discussed in theme 3: perception of quality of relationship with parents). One participant (P6) grew up in a two-parent home whose parents never divorced or sepa- rated but still observed these same relationship obstacles among her parents.

Participants whose parents were able to maintain a healthy marriage observed more positive lived experiences of their parents’ romantic relationships. These participants recalled growing up in very loving environments, which their parents still maintain. Obstacles identified in their parents’ romantic relationships were only small spats and disputes that often died out the same night. These part- icipants perceived their parents’ couple relationships to be of very high quality and appreciated their parents’ ability to overcome small obstacles and problem solve. They described their parents’ relationships to be a positive example of how to conduct yourself in a relationship and how to maintain a healthy union.

REACTIONS TO PARENTAL SEPARATION

The second theme, reaction to parent’s split, was commonly found in the lived experiences of participants whose parents were separated=divorced. Participant 1 displayed significant anger and a decline in academic excel- lence from his parent’s marital dissolution: ‘‘I just wanted to be mad. When my dad left, my grades dropped.’’ He was having a hard time coping with the separation of his parents, which was reflected in his behavior and his ability to appropriately conduct himself at school. Participant 5, however, had a totally opposite reaction to her parent’s divorce. Her father caused so much pain to her family it was a relief to the participant once her mother finally had the courage to leave. Participant 5 responded with following as her reaction to her parent’s separation: ‘‘But yea . . . I was just happy that my mom finally did something to take action you know . . . I mean it took long enough. I didn’t really feel anything when they split because my dad was already in and out.’’ Parental separations caused participants not only to suffer from emotional reactions but also altered their perception of the quality of relationship they held with their parents.

PERCEPTION OF RELATIONSHIP QUALITY WITH PARENTS

The third theme was perception of quality of relationship with parents. This theme was very prominent for participants 1, 2, and 5. These participants

530 K. Allen and S. Mitchell

expressed negative perceptions of their relationship with their fathers. Part- icipants 1 and 2 suffered from fatherlessness after their parents’ marital disso- lutions. Common obstacles that led to their parents’ separation included infidelity and financial instability. After their parents’ separation the parti- cipants lost that emotional bond with their fathers. Participant 1 stated the fol- lowing about his relationship with his father: ‘‘Oh man it was rough man . . . cus I know when my dad left that male figure wasn’t in the house.’’

With the absence of their fathers, the participants developed a stronger relationship with their mothers. Participant 2 described her mother as her best friend and a strong support system for her. She speaks to her mother on a daily basis, whereas her father only calls a few times out of the month. ‘‘I have a closer relationship with my mom than my dad. I know that she is my mother, but at the end of the day she is also my friend.’’ All three parti- cipants expressed a great appreciation for their mothers’ ability to cope from a divorce and still be able to raise and support the family. Fatherlessness did not only have an emotional effect on the participants, it also caused financial strain for many of the participants’ mothers.

HOUSEHOLD DEMOGRAPHICS

Parental household demographics, theme 4, described the lived experiences of the financial strain that took place as participants were growing up. This theme was found to be common in participants who transitioned from two-parent homes into single-parent homes. Many of the participants’ mothers worked two jobs to support the family after divorce. Participants 1 and 5 stated their mothers did the best they could to remain financially stable but often struggled to maintain their financial responsibilities after the divorce.

Three participants’ families suffered from financial instability while their parents were still together. The mothers of these participants were all the breadwinners in the marriage. Each mother experienced a period of time where she was the only one bringing in any income in the home. The fathers’ inability to financially provide for the family was often due to job loss; drug addiction was also identified as a factor for financial instability in fathers.

PERCEPTION OF THE QUALITY OF RELATIONSHIPS AND IPV IN EMERGING ADULTHOOD

The last theme was the most prominent theme for each participant. Perception of the quality of relationships=IPV in emerging adulthood gave descriptions of how participants perceived their own romantic relationships. Most participants began causally dating at a young age but did not have a serious, long-term relationship until high school. All female participants admitted to have suffered from verbal, physical, and=or emotional abuse while in their first serious relationship. Participants 2 and 3 were verbally and emotionally abused by their partner within the first year of their relationship, whereas participants 5

Affects of Parental Relationship on Young Adults 531

and 6 were emotionally and physically abused by their partners. Although not all participants were willing to share thorough encounters of their lived experi- ences, it was clear the abuse suffered caused emotional distress.

Developing and maintaining a romantic relationship as young adults was difficult for all participants. Many participants admitted that at a high school age, they were not clear on the factors needed to maintain a healthy relation- ship. Besides the abuse that took place among female participants, all participants suffered from obstacles in their relationships such as communi- cation barriers and infidelity. The urge to develop romantic relationships influenced male participants to experiment in dating, building unions with many partners throughout high school and early emerging adulthood. Con- versely, female participants’ urge to maintain their romantic relationships influenced them to remain in unhealthy situations under the direction of a controlling partner. Regardless of the relationships and partners they had as young adults, all participants perceived their relationships to be unhealthy and of negative quality. As participants grew into emerging adults, they were able to learn from their lived experiences of relationships in young adulthood.

Five participants were in committed relationships or seriously dating someone at the time of their interview, with one participant who was cur- rently single and not dating. Three of the five participants who were involved in a relationship perceived their current unions to be of high quality. As emerging adults, they now believed they had developed the proper qualities within themselves to maintain a healthy relationship. This was in part because of their ability to learn from their past relationships and obstacles suffered in these relationships; parental influence also contributed to participants’ per- sonal growth (further discussed below under Composite Structural Descrip- tion of all Participants). Participants 1 and 2 shared their personal growth in maintaining their relationships with their current partners: ‘‘Um I’m a control freak, I like everything to be done my way and I have to remember that in this relationship I have to learn to kinda give in to certain things and you know try to compromise on certain things’’ (P2); ‘‘In a relationship . . . I don’t want to overstep anyone and think I’m greater than anyone ever . . . we both should have an opinion and try to work to compromise on things so . . ..’’ (P1).

Two of the five participants who were involved in a relationship=ser- iously dating admitted their relationships started off as or was currently in a rocky state. One participant struggled to find her place at the beginning of her relationship when dating an older mate with a young child: ‘‘On my part because I’ve never been in a relationship with a guy with a child before. This is my first relationship where I’m dealing with that and it is taking a lot out of me.’’ She did, however, perceive her relationship to be healthy, even though she is still learning to compromise and problem solve in her relationship.

Participant 6 perceived her current relationship to have started off as positive and then gradually transitioned into a negative state. Participant 6 is the main participant who is still struggling with maintaining a healthy

532 K. Allen and S. Mitchell

relationship. She and her partner still suffer from communication barriers, which has caused them to call off the relationship many times: ‘‘In the relationship it started off as good, but then I feel that I became a nagging girl- friend.’’ She perceived her relationship as rocky because they are constantly off and on. Ultimately, each participant was able to share their lived experi- ences about dating in young and emerging adulthood as well as the lessons they learned, which has helped them move forward in dating, developing, and maintaining romantic relationships.

Composite Structural Description of All Participants

Structural descriptions help provide a structural understanding of parti- cipants’ lived experiences. Structural themes found in the data were per- ceived effects from experiences of parental couple relationships, perceived parental influence, relationships with others, self-growth, giving to others, and perceived commonalities with parents. Although many different structur- al themes identified were in the data, two themes were common among most participants: perceived effects from experiences of parental couple relation- ships and perceived parental influence.

Perceived effects from experiences of parental couple relationships was a common structural theme found in the data that affected the way parti- cipants perceived romantic relationships. Experiencing the obstacles their parents suffered from in their relationships and parental marital dissolution influenced some participants to have a negative perception of couple relation- ships. Participant 1 expressed how his parent’s divorce did not keep him from dating but did restrict him from developing any committed relationships in young adulthood: ‘‘Like right now, discussing marriage and stuff I was afraid to be in a deep relationship.’’ On the other hand, participants, such as partici- pant 4, observed a very loving relationship among his parents. Therefore, he seeks to model the relationships of his parents in his current relationship: ‘‘It’s just a really good relationship I actually try to model myself after.’’

The structural theme of perceived parental influence explains how part- icipants received parental support in dating. Participants share advice that parents have given them on finding a mate and conducting themselves as mates. The following are quotes from a few participants as they share relationship advice given by their parents:

‘‘Well my parents always told me to be extremely courteous because you know you ultimately have to be with the person that you’re with. My par- ents actually said have fun, and I can see that having fun and laughter is the key to a good relationship.’’ (P4)

‘‘I know my parents have both told me to look for certain things in a guy . . . like how does he treat his mom, how does he treat his sister, you know things like that.’’ (P3)

Affects of Parental Relationship on Young Adults 533

‘‘Oh I hear it every day, basically, just don’t be rude and disrespectful because you don’t want nobody to do that to your sisters and your little nieces.’’ (P1)

‘‘My mom always told me to make sure that I find someone who can take care of me, not saying that I need to depend upon a man to take care of me, but he needs to be able to take care of me financially and emotionally.’’ (P6)

Participants were able to incorporate advice given from parents into their current romantic relationships. If they were not currently in a romantic union, they still planned to use this information in future relationships. Per- sonal characteristic of parents also influenced some participants in conduct- ing themselves as mates, as they shared commonalities in their personalities. Participant 2 expressed that she is a lot like her mom when it comes to being in control of her relationship. When she prefers something her way, she rejects compromise; she admits to have learned this from observing her mother. Participant 6 expressed how she has picked up her mother’s way of communication: ‘‘ . . . I don’t know if that’s because a lot of times now I see my mom just nag, and she nags and nags . . . I don’t know if I took after that but I nagged a lot.’’ Most parental advice was provided to participants by their mothers because of the high amount marital dissolution and fatherless- ness among parents. Overall, all participants acquired some parental influ- ence and support when learning to develop romantic relationships.

Composite Textural-Structural Description of All Participants

For this section the lived experiences of participants were pulled from their textural and structural descriptions. Participants’ lived experiences of observ- ing their parental couple relationships were both positive and negative. Part- icipants’ experiences ranged from observing a very loving home and marriage among their parents to observing abuse, drug addiction, and the inability for parents to compromise for the sake of their marriage.

Some participants were able to express how their current mates and=or relationships shared similar qualities of their parents and parental couple relationships. Participants 1 and 4 expressed that their current mates shared similar characteristics of their mothers, providing them with same emotional support and nurture they received from their mothers. Participant 2 also shared how similar her mother’s current relationship is to her current roman- tic relationship: ‘‘My mom’s current relationship and my relationship are kind of similar . . . he mellows her out but still keeps her on her toes, and my boy- friend does the same for me.’’

At the end of each interview, participants were asked to respond with their reaction the following statement: ‘‘It is said that people tend to mimic the intimate relationships of their parents due to exposure and=or experience.’’

534 K. Allen and S. Mitchell

Each participant had their own explanation of why this statement was true in their opinion. Participants agreed on the possibility that exposure to experi- ences of parental couple relationships can influence a person’s decision to model their parental relationship or develop opposing relationship values depending on the quality of parental couple relationships. Reviewing the com- posite textural, structural, and textural-structural descriptions, it is clear that participants’ perceptions and ability to develop and maintain romantic rela- tionships are a result of the lived and observed experiences from parental cou- ple relationships. Table 4 shows all participant responses to the closing interview statements.

DISCUSSION

The lived experience of the African American emerging adult cannot and should not be examined without inclusion of a social and historical lens. Tyson (2012) argues that when looking at romantic coupling in African Americans, it is important to consider relationship maturity theory and the Black womanist= feminist thought. Relationship maturity theory (Paul & White, 1990) suggests that relationships occur in stages that include self-focus, role focus, and indi- viduated connected. Black feminist thought (Collins, 2000) identifies the experience of oppression and suggests the inclusion of an awareness of how disparity shapes the lived experiences of African Americans. This study and its researchers acknowledge the historical and significance of the Black experience. How African American emerging adults engage in relationships and partner selection is connected to their roots and culture.

The literature on African American emerging adults and romantic relationship development shows that emerging adults may indeed acquire attitudes and behavior about intimate relationships through observing their parental romantic unions (Cui & Fincham, 2010). Parents are typically emerg- ing adults’ first role models when it comes to illustrating the proper way to develop and maintain healthy romantic relationships (Basuil & Casper, 2012). Therefore, emerging adults’ self-efficacy beliefs and perceptions are developed and learned through observation of these role models. Negative perceptions of marriage and other romantic unions among African American adults can be the result of observing high levels of conflict, separation, and= or divorce in their parental couple relationships (Willoughby, 2012). As a result, these African American emerging adults are more likely to struggle with developing and maintaining positive, committed romantic relationships of their own (Zimmer-Gembeck et al., 2011).

In contrast, African American emerging adults who observe positive, low-conflict romantic relationships among their parents have a higher chance of developing and maintaining positive romantic unions (Trotter, 2010). Par- ents who maintain healthy, loving marriages and romantic relationships are

Affects of Parental Relationship on Young Adults 535

T A

B L E

4 P a rt ic

ip a n t R e sp

o n se

s to

C lo

si n g

In te

rv ie

w S ta

te m

e n t

P a rt ic

ip a n t 1

P a rt ic

ip a n t 2

P a rt ic

ip a n t 3

P a rt ic

ip a n t 4

P a rt ic

ip a n t 5

P a rt ic

ip a n t 6

‘‘O h

th a t’ s

re a ll y

.. .t

h a t’ s

tr u e !

F ro

m th

e g o o d

p a rt s

o f th

e re

la ti o n sh

ip ,

n o t th

e b a d

y o u

k n o w

.. .s

o I

tr y

to y o u

k n o w

m im

ic m

y p a re

n ts

.. .n

o t m

im ic

b u t w

h a t I

sa w

th a t

w o rk

e d , I

w a n t. .. h a v e

th a t w

it h

m y

p a rt n e r ..

.S o

y e a , th

e st

u ff

I sa

w w

it h

th e m

.. .t

h e

g o o d

st u ff

.. .I

w o u ld

lo v e

to h a v e

th a t. ’’

‘‘I fe

e l th

a t th

a t

st a te

m e n t is

a 1 0 0 %

tr u e , a n d

I d o n ’t

e v e n

th in

k th

a t it ’s

so m

e th

in g

y o u

d o

o n

p u rp

o se

.. .i

t ju

st h a p p e n s

a n d

w h e n

I lo

o k

b a c k

o n

it I’ m

li k e

w o w

th a t w

a s

re a ll y

c lo

se to

th a t

si tu

a ti o n

o r

w o w

h e ’s

re a ll y

si m

il a r

to m

y d a d

.. .b

e c a u se

th a t’ s

a ll

y o u

k n o w

a b o u t

re la

ti o n sh

ip s.

.. ’’

‘‘I h o n e st

ly , w

h o le

h e a rt e d ly

a g re

e w

it h

it ..

.. T h a t’ s

w h a t y o u

k n o w

, a n d

th a t’ s

w h a t y o u ’v

e se

e n ,

a n d

th a t’ s

w h a t

y o u ’r e

e x p o se

d to

a n d

it ’s

li k e

e m

b e d d e d

in y o u

a n d

y o u

g o

a n d

d o

th e

sa m

e th

in g .’ ’

‘‘I a c tu

a ll y

a g re

e w

it h

th a t st

a te

m e n t

b e c a u se

if y o u

th in

k a b o u t it , o u r

p a re

n ts

re la

ti o n sh

ip is

th e

fi rs

t th

in g

th a t w

e se

e a n d

w h a t w

e k n o w

is lo

v e . E it h e r

it ’s

g o n n a

b e

a b a d

m ir ro

r o r

it ’s

g o n n a

b e

a g o o d

m ir ro

r, b u t

th a t’ s

u lt im

a te

ly w

h a t

w e

h a v e

to ju

d g e

o n

w h a t a

re la

ti o n sh

ip is

.. .’ ’

‘‘I fe

e l li k e , it

d e fi n it e ly

c o u ld

p la

y a

p a rt

b e c a u se

if th

a t’ s

w h a t y o u

g ro

w u p

se e in

g a n d

th a t y o u r

u se

to , it

w o u ld

n ’t

b e

o d d

fo r

it to

b e

re p e a te

d ..

.. I

d o n ’t

d is

a g re

e w

it h

th e

st a te

m e n t. ’’

‘‘I k in

d a

a g re

e w

it h

th a t,

u m

b e c a u se

li k e

I sa

id ..

.l it tl e

th in

g s

I re

m e m

b e r

fr o m

b e in

g a

li tt le

g ir l,

m y

p a re

n ts

lo v e d

e a c h

o th

e r,

b u t th

e y

a ls

o fo

u g h t a n d

th e y

a rg

u e d . S o

I th

in k

I to

o k

th a t ..

. so

m e ti m

e s

I fe

e l a s

if m

y re

la ti o n sh

ip s.

.. th

e y ’r e

g o in

g g o o d

fo r

to o

lo n g

a n d

w e ’r e

b o th

h a p p y

fo r

to o

lo n g

th e n

I n e e d

to d o

so m

e th

in g

to u p se

t th

a t b e c a u se

I d o n ’t

li k e

it .’ ’

C lo

si n g

st a te

m e n t:

It is

sa id

th a t p e o p le

te n d

to m

im ic

th e

in ti m

a te

re la

ti o n sh

ip s

o f th

e ir

p a re

n ts

d u e

to e x p o su

re a n d = o r e x p e ri e n c e . T e ll

m e

h o w

y o u

fe e l a b o u t th

is

st a te

m e n t.

536

more likely to report relationship satisfaction. As emerging adults observe positive interactions in their parental couple relationships, they develop learned behaviors that promote positive relationship interaction and often model positive examples of romantic unions (Bandura, 1977; Trotter, 2010). Despite any perception developed from observing parental romantic relationships, African American emerging adults who really desire to main- tain healthy relationships are more willing to work on developing stability and satisfaction in their own committed unions (Kan, McHale, & Crouter, 2008). This is especially true among emerging adults who strive to avoid simi- lar negative romantic experiences as their parents.

Perceived Quality of Parental Couple Relationships and African American Emerging Adults’ Ability to Develop and Maintain Relationships

Emerging adults who are exposed to parental couple relationships, whether positive or negative, in adolescence and young adulthood develop percep- tions of romantic relationships, which influence the way develop and main- tain couple relationships of their own (Sassler et al., 2009). This was found to be true in this research study. All participants of the study developed percep- tions of the quality of their parental couple relationships through observation in adolescence and young adulthood. From these observed experiences, five textural themes emerged in the data: perceptions of the quality of parental couple relationships, reaction to parent’s spilt, perception of quality of relationship with parents, household demographics, and perception of quality of personal relationships in emerging adulthood=IPV.

Four of six participants expressed the perception of their parental cou- ple relationships to be negative and of low quality, whereas two participants viewed their parental couple relationship to be of high quality and satisfac- tion. Negatively viewed parental couple relationships suffered from obstacles such as abuse, financial instability, infidelity, lack of communication skills, and drug and=or alcohol use, which resulted in marital dissolution. The reviewed literature reports that relationship satisfaction in African American marriages can be related to factors such as similar relationship values, socio- economic factors, and the couple’s ability to maintain relationship satisfac- tion while suffering through vulnerabilities and stress (Bryant et al., 2008; Cutrona et al., 2011). Negatively viewed parental relationships in this study were lacking such factors that the research says promote relationship stability and satisfaction. Marks et al. (2012) report that African American couples who have differences in relationship standards and beliefs are at high risk for marital dissolution. This was shown in the data as differences in relationship values and beliefs about commitment and how to treat your mate contributed to many of the parental marital dissolutions in this study.

Affects of Parental Relationship on Young Adults 537

In interviewing participants, all participants, regardless of perception, expressed their first committed relationship as young adults to be of low and negative quality. Past research shows that parental couple relationships serve as models for emerging adults, in which they use these models to develop their own relationships (Underwood & Rosen, 2011). Participants who witnessed parental couple separation or parental marriage dissolution were found to lack a positive model of how to conduct and maintain a healthy, positive relationship in their first committed union. However, participants who reported to have had a positive model of how to conduct relationships still experienced low relationship satisfaction and quality.

This study did not directly seek to focus on relationship violence among African American emerging adults or investigate why all female participants suffered from such unhealthy relationships as young adults. However, the data revealed that African American emerging adult females participating in this study all suffered from intimate relationship violence, in which the researcher believed it was important to recognize IPV as a subtheme in this research. Providing recognition to intimate relationship violence allowed participants to explain why they perceived their first serious romantic encounters to be of negative quality.

Past literature suggests that the perceptions of parental couple relationships and lived experiences of personal romantic relationships serve as a platform to the development of romantic relationships in emerging adulthood. It was intriguing as to how single mothers of participants had such a positive influence on emerging adults’ ability to develop positive perceptions of romantic relationships over time. These positive perceptions contributed to the high quality of current participant romantic relationships. Raising children in single-parents homes has been found to result in poorer child well-being rates than children raised in two-parent homes (Waldfogel, Craigie, & Brooks-Gunn, 2010).

Despite what the research shows, single mothers in this study were able to develop loving, nurturing relationships with their children regardless of financial instability and fatherlessness. Single moms were able to focus their energy on not only providing for their families but also influencing emerging adults to adjust their negative perceptions of romantic relationships and use negative parental and personal past relationships as examples of how not to conduct romantic unions.

Modeled and Learned Behaviors Pertaining to Personality Traits, Mate Choice, and Relationship Quality

Participants exhibited modeled and learned behaviors from observed parental couple relationships. Each participant identified with at least one personality or character trait that was inherited or learned from parental observation. These traits were specific to behaviors that either increase or

538 K. Allen and S. Mitchell

decrease relationship quality. Examples of inherited or learned traits for participants include communication styles, work ethic, emotional sensitivity, the need to be in control, and the urge to belong.

When dating as emerging adults, participants identified parental personality and character traits they desired in a mate. These traits served as a platform to identifying the type of partner participants desired in a relationship during mate choice. Participants who reported suffering from fatherless or a lack of father–child relationship were still able to identify character traits in their father they desired in themselves or a mate. Such character traits desired in themselves and in a mate included high levels of work ethic; the ability to financially and emotionally provide; humor; under- standing; nurturing; domestic skills such as cooking, cleaning, and tidiness; effective communication skills; and attention to detail.

Limitations to Study

The small number of participants is one limitation of this study. The study consisted of six heterosexual African American emerging adults and there- fore cannot be generalized to themes representative of heterosexual and lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender African American communities. Also, none of the participants had children in this study and therefore cannot be generalized to themes representative of African American emerging adult parents in the community.

Another limitation to this study is the potential for participants to answer according to social desirability. Although participants seemed to provide honest and genuine responses to questions, there is still a possibility that participants provided the researcher with responses she wanted to hear. A third limitation is on the demographics of the participations of the study. The researcher’s use of snowball sampling led to a homogenized sample study. The participants were not necessarily representative of a varied sample of African American emerging adults in that their educational level was somewhat higher, their incarceration and cohabitation rates were lower, and they had fewer children than the average African American emerging adult.

Implications

Future research should examine what might be done to stop negative cycles of emerging adults developing and participating in unhealthy romantic relationship in the African American community. This cycle could negatively effective future relationship development in the African American com- munity, in which it is important for future research to investigate how these cycles affect the relationship development and how to end these cycles in the community. Because IPV came out as a subtheme in the research, it may also be helpful to investigate those cultural factors that allow for IPV in the African

Affects of Parental Relationship on Young Adults 539

American community among young and emerging adults. Researchers could also look deeper into the experience of single motherhood and how these mothers protect, provide for, and promote self-growth in their young Black adults.

Data support the idea that parents should be knowledgeable of how their own relationship experiences set examples and influence the percep- tions of romantic relationships in their children and how they apply these perceptions to their own romantic unions. Parents should acknowledge that their children are in fact observing their couple relationships even as adoles- cents and using these observations to apply meaning to how to develop and maintain romantic unions. To educate themselves and their children on the importance of healthy relationships, it may be helpful for parents to use resources that promote the development of healthy romantic relationships.

Emerging adults are continuously striving to develop and further estab- lish intimate relationships (Karney, 2007). Emerging adults should recognize that they in fact develop perceptions of romantic relationships by observing the parental unions. These perceptions could indeed affect the way that they develop and maintain relationships. Having this interview conversation with emerging African American adults seemed to be educational in some ways because it made them think about the experiences of their parental and personal romantic relationships in a new, important way. As emerging adults grow to develop families of their own, the way they conduct relationships could impact the experience their children have with developing and maintaining relationships. This refers back to the cycle mentioned in the implications for future research section. It is important for emerging adults to educate themselves on what constitutes a healthy relationship, followed by replacing any unhealthy relationship patterns with new skills that establish healthy relationships.

Conclusions

Based on the findings of this study, experiencing parental couple relationships influences African American emerging adults’ perceptions about romantic relationships. These perceptions affect the way African Amer- ican emerging adults develop and maintain their own romantic unions. Regardless of perceptions of romantic relationships, African American emerg- ing adults are still susceptible to experiencing negative, unhealthy romantic relationships as young adults and in early emerging adulthood. Although this is true, emerging adults experience self-growth in developing and maintain- ing romantic relationships through positive parental influence and lessons learned from mistakes made in personal romantic relationships.

African American emerging adults also find meaning in their parental couple relationships in quality, mate selection, and=or personal or mate char- acteristics and personality traits. Through observation and learned behaviors,

540 K. Allen and S. Mitchell

African American emerging adults model behaviors and characteristics of their parents that could increase or decrease the quality of their personal romantic unions, which may lead to emerging adults suffering from the same relationship obstacles as their parents. African American emerging adults also desire parental characteristics in themselves, mates, and=or relationships that promote positivity when developing and maintaining romantic unions.

In summary, literature presented in the study gives insight on how observation of parental romantic unions can influence African American emerging adults to develop perceptions of romantic relationships. To help fill the gap in the literature, this study sought out to gain insight of how African American adults experience parental intimate relationships, how they develop and maintain healthy romantic relationships of their own, and how they find meaning in the romantic relationships of their parents. This study is important to the African American community because promoting and advocating the development and maintenance of healthy romantic relationships as parents and couples could encourage positive development of romantic relationships among adolescent and emerging adults.

REFERENCES

African American Marriage Healthy Initiative. (2012). Mission initiatives. Retrieved from http://www.aahmi.net/mission.html#hm.

American Psychological Association. (2013). Ethnic and racial minorities & socioeco- nomic status. Retrieved from http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/560/10/

Allen, W. D., & Olsen, D. H. (2001). Five types of African-American marriages. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 27, 301–314.

Bandura, A. (1977). Social learning theory. New York, NY: General Learning Press. Barr, A. B., Simons, R. L., Simons, L. G., Gibbons, F. X., & Gerrard, M. (2013). Teen

motherhood and pregnancy prototypes: The role of social context in changing young African American mothers’ risk images and contraceptive expectations. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 42, 1–14.

Basuil, D., & Casper, W. J. (2012). Work-family planning attitudes among emerging adults. Journal of Vocational Behavior, 80, 629–637.

Black, B. M., & Weisz, A. N. (2003). Dating violence: Help-seeking behaviors of African American middle schoolers. Violence Against Women, 9, 187–209.

Bryant, C. M., Taylor, R. J., Lincoln, K. D., Chatters, L. M., & Jackson, J. S. (2008). Marital satisfaction among African Americans and black Caribbeans: Findings from the national survey of American life. Family Relations, 57, 239–253.

Clarkwest, A. (2007). Spousal dissimilarity, race, and marital dissolution. Journal of Marriage and Family, 69, 639–653.

Collins, P. H. (1996). What’s in a name? Womanism, black feminism, and beyond. The Black Scholar, 26, 9.

Creswell, J. W. (1994). A framework for the study. In J. W. Creswell (Ed.), Research design: Qualitative & quantitative approaches (pp. 1–19). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.

Affects of Parental Relationship on Young Adults 541

Cui, M., & Fincham, F. D. (2010). The differential effects of parental divorce and marital conflict on young adult romantic relationships. Personal Relationships, 17, 331–343.

Cutrona, C. E., Russell, D. W., Burzette, R. G., Wesner, K. A., & Bryant, C. M. (2011). Predicting relationship stability among midlife African American couples. Journal of Counseling and Clinical Psychology, 79, 814–825.

Dallas, C. M. (2013). Rapid repeat pregnancy among unmarried, African American adolescent parent couples. Western Journal of Nursing Research, 35, 177–192.

Dixon, P. (2009). Marriage among African Americans: What does the research reveal? Journal of African American Studies, 13, 29–46.

Durodoye, B. A. (1997). Factors of marital satisfaction among African American cou- ples and Nigerian male=African American female couples. Journal of Cross- Cultural Psychology, 28, 71–80.

Gaines, S., Rios, G. I., Granrose, C. S., Bledsoe, K. L., Farris, K. R., Page Youn, M. S., & Garcis, B. F. (1999). Romanticism and interpersonal resource exchange among African American-Anglo and other interracial couples. Journal of Black Psychology, 25, 461–489.

Hill, R. (1958). Generic features of families under stress. Social Casework, 39, 139. Kan, M. L., McHale, S. M., & Crouter, A. C. (2008). Parental involvement in

adolescent romantic relationships: Patterns and correlates. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 37, 168–179.

Karney, B. R. (2007). Executive summary. Adolescent romantic relationships as precursors of healthy adult marriages: A review of theory, research, and programs (pp. 6–9). Santa Monica, CA: RAND Corporation.

Marks, L. D., Hopkins, K., Chaney, C., Monroe, P. A., Nesteruk, O., & Sasser, D. D. (2008). Together we are strong: A qualitative study of happy, enduring African American marriages. Family Relations Journal, 57, 172–185.

Masarik, A. S., Conger, R. D., Martin, M. J., Donnellan, D. B., Masyn, K. E., & Lorenz, F. O. (2013). Romantic relationships in early adulthood: Influences of family, personality, and relationship cognitions. Personal Relationships, 20, 356–373.

Miller, J., & Garran, A. M. (2007). The web of institutional racism. Smith College Studies in Social Work, 77, 33–67.

Moustakas, C. (1994). Phenomenological research methods. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.

Parent, J., Jones, D. J., Forehand, R., Cuellar, J., & Shoulberg, E. K. (2013). The role of co-parents in African American single-mother families: The indirect effect of co-parent identity on youth psychosocial adjustment. Journal of Family Psychology, 27, 252–262.

Patterson, O. (1998). Rituals of blood: Consequences of slavery in two American centuries. New York, NY: Basic.

Paul, E. L., & White, K. M. (1990). The development of intimate relationships in late adolescence. Adolescence, 25, 375–400.

Phillips, T. M., Wilmoth, J. D., & Marks, L. D. (2012). Challenges and conflicts . . . strengths and supports: A study of enduring African American marriages. Journal of Black Studies, 43, 936–952.

Sassler, S., Cunningham, A., & Litcher, D. T. (2009). Intergenerational patterns of union formation and relationship quality. Journal of Family Issues, 30, 757–786.

542 K. Allen and S. Mitchell

Shulman, S., Davila, J., & Shachar-Shapira, L. (2011). Assessing romantic competence among older adolescents. Journal of Adolescence, 34, 397–406.

Simons, R. L., Simons, L. G., Lei, M. K., & Landor, A. (2012). Relationship schemas, hostile romantic relationships, and beliefs about marriage among young African American adults. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 29, 77–101.

Taft, C. T., Bryant-Davis, T., Woodward, H. E., Tillman, S., & Torres, S. E. (2009). Inti- mate partner violence against African American women: An examination of the socio-cultural context. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 14, 50–58.

Towner, S. L., Dolcini, M. M., Harper, G. W. (2012). Romantic relationship dynamics of urban african american adolescents: patterns of monogamy, commitment, and trust. Youth & Society, 1–31.

Trotter, P. B. (2010). The influence of parental romantic relationships on college students’ attitudes about romantic relationships. College Student Journal, 44, 71–83.

Tyson, S. Y. (2012). Developmental and ethnic issues experienced by emerging adult African American women related to developing a mature love relationship. Issues in Mental Health Nursing, 33, 39–51.

Underwood, M. K., & Rosen, L. H. (2011). Romantic relationships in adolescents. In M. K. Underwood, & L. H. Rosen, (Eds.), Social development: Relationships in infancy, childhood, and adolescents (pp. 184–192). New York, NY: Guildford Press.

Ulaga, W., & Eggert, A. (2006). Relationship value and relationship quality: Broadening the nomological network of business-to-business relationships. European Journal of Marketing, 40, 311–327.

Vangelisti, A. L. (2012). Interpersonal processes in romantic relationships. In M. L. Knapp, & J. A. Daly, (Eds.), Handbook of interpersonal communication (pp. 597–631). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.

Waite, L. J., & Joyner, K. (2004). Emotional satisfaction and physical pleasure in sexual unions: Time horizon, sexual behavior, and sexual exclusivity. Journal of Marriage and Family, 63, 247–264.

Waldfogel, J., Craigie, T. A., & Brooks-Gunn, J. (2010). Fragile families and child well-being. Future of Children, 20, 425–440.

Willoughby, B. J. (2012). Using marital attitudes in late adolescence to predict later union transitions. Youth & Society, 8, 1–16.

Zimmer-Gembeck, M. J., & Madsen, S. D. (2011). Connecting the intrapersonal: Autonomy, voice, parents, and romantic relationships in emerging adulthood. European Journal of Developmental Psychology, 8, 509–525.

Affects of Parental Relationship on Young Adults 543