Order 1117462: Does hosting the World Cup make economic sense for a country?

I found your introduction to be very strong. You immediately jumped in and defined the World Cup. You also tied it into host countries and what you would be further discussing. I would add just one more sentence between your thesis and the sentence before it, just to smooth it out a little more. Countries prefer not to host it because it is expensive. Then I would make the point that some countries are affected negatively by it greater than others. From there jump into your thesis of what countries are highly affected, and make the point they are negatively affected.

2.         What is a strength and weakness of the conclusion?

  The conclusion does tie everything back together and bring us back to what the main point was to begin with. That is awesome! The only weak part is the last sentence. You need to go out with a bang or something to leave the reader thinking. The sentence now just seems to end and cut off the paper. I would add or put something else there as your finale.

3.         Is the paper’s thesis clear?  Paraphrase their argument.

  As mentioned in question 1, your thesis is very clear. Just needs to be smoothed out and introduced a bit more.

4.         How effective is their use of evidence from their research sources? Do they site and engage at least 6 different works from credible sources?

  I found you did cite and utilize your sources a fair amount. This does help since your question and thesis really do require you to back yourself up with factual information. You have more than 6 credible sources which is awesome.

5.         Are the body paragraphs organized effectively? Does each paragraph represent one main idea?

Yes. However If you scroll through, majority of your paragraphs start with also, similarly, likewise, moreover, etc. I would try to find a way to transition and link your paragraphs better without having to use those words each time. Try forming first sentences that link them rather than just using those transitional words. It can be repetitive.

6.         Which body paragraph is your peer’s best? Why?

“The World Cup has led to improvement in industrialization…”

I found this one to be the best because the first sentence is strong. I can already tell what I would be reading about and as I read more I found out more information on industrialization. You provide a good example and that paragraph had a very good flow.

7.         How effectively does your peer use citations when they quote a source? Are they using the “Quote Sandwich” method that Dr. C explained?

 You use sources often which is good. I would throw in a direct quote” “ or two to strengthen your information even more. Grab a quote from another researcher in one of your sources and find one that really makes a point. I think one or two of those would be awesome to add in.

8.         What problems, if any, did you find with your peer’s References or Works Cited list?

I did not find many problems, if any. I liked that you had quite a few and referenced them throughout.

9.         What seems to be the author’s main punctuation problem? His or her main grammatical problem? Use examples to support your answers.

I do agree with Hannah’s reply that you just needed to adjust your capitalized World Cup references. Also some commas need to be added here and there. Definitely recommend doing what she says and reading the paper out loud. You will hear for yourself where there needs to be a comma or maybe a period and make one sentence into two.

10.       What is the author’s best sentence? Worst sentence? Explain your choices.

 Worst - However, hotels should be very keen on how they handle their old customers.

I first read this and thought you literally meant old age! If you are referring to customers that are not there just for the World Cup and are frequent, I would just find a better term to use for them.

Best - Since the World Cup is an international event, there are certain requirements that the host country should meet before the games commence. For instance, the host country must have adequate world-class stadiums that will be used in playing the sixty-four matches.

This is two sentences but still, you did a great job of flowing and using commas here. Also your word choices are great.