essay review draft

NOTE: An explication is a line-by-line interpretation of a poem, so it is important to review the appropriate way to quote the poem as you move through it in the essay. Also include a copy of the entire poem before or after the essay itself. This is an academic essay, so use a formal tone, and be sure to open with an arguable thesis -- tell us the take-away point of your explication up front. You MUST include specific quotations from the poem as you work through it. A good explication commonly re-quotes the majority of the lines from it.

2. You will be assigned two  system-assigned Essay #3 drafts to Peer Review by Sunday --

Find the Online Peer Review Guidelines at the bottom . Please use the Peer Review Guidelines as you first read through and then comment on your classmates' drafts (add comments #1 through #7 as you read).

To Peer EDITORS: If you Peer Review a draft of a poem explication, do not concern yourself with citation form but do pay close attention to the logic of the interpretation. Is there a thesis and brief summary of the poem in the opening paragraph? Does the interpretation make sense? Is it well enough supported by quotes from the poem? These are the questions to answer for your peer.

Peer REVIEW #1

“I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud” by Williams Wordsworth is a poem that focuses on a connection that the poet has with nature. The poet has an obvious love for nature and uses imagery to relate to the reader his relationship with nature. The poem starts off by having the reader activate their imagination and putting them in the shoes of Woodsworth. Imagining yourself high above the sky staring at golden daffodils. As the poem goes on Wordsworth explains that he was just on his couch sitting down. Using his imagination to escape from the world and enter a place of bliss.

In the first paragraph The poet then not only gives us a vivid image of the nature, but mentions the motion of the daffodils, “Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.” Inserting what the daffodils were doing makes me as the reader feel like I am there, with wind in my hair. If it was just daffodils I would imagine a picture, but seeing the daffodils flutter and move, gives me a better visual experience. Having talked about the beautiful daffodils and given more visual details of nature the poet then comes to the most important paragraph that confirms his positive feelings for nature.

Second paragraph”Continuous as the stars that shine, And twinkle on the milky way, They stretched in never-ending line”

Third paragraph”The waves beside them danced; but they, Out-did the sparkling waves in glee: A poet could not but be gay, In such a jocund company”

“In vacant or in pensive mood,They flash upon that inward eye. Which is the bliss of solitude;And then my heart with pleasure fills, And dances with the daffodils.” In this verse the poet explains that when he is alone or down, he looks inside his “inward eye”, which is his mind. He looks inside his mind and imagines those daffodils. Then his heart fills with pleasure.

Conclusion

Peer review #2

1. Intro

0. William Wordsworth explains the importance and connection one may feel in nature in the poem “I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud.” The poem provides images that moved the speaker in some way, and evokes a positive feeling in outdoor surroundings.

0. In the beginning, the speaker compares themselves to being lonely as a cloud above an empty landscape. Then continues to describe an immediate positive change of scenery, as they come upon a field of daffodils. They continue to compare the field of flowers to other forces of nature, and the tone remains content. The speaker describes the flower field as adding cheerful company into their life, brightening their days, and creating a deep-rooted memory. This memory proves to be powerful as the speaker can recall this scene and instantly be uplifted by the thought of walking in flowers.

1. The poem begins by portraying an empty scene, the speaker being completely alone. At first, the speaker provides imagery that underlines the title “I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud”, the second line describing a lonesome cloud roaming over a desolate, hilly landscape. This begins the visualization of being completely untouched by anything, and shows that the speaker does not have a particular mood.

1. Continue w explication

Rubric for Peer Review

Comment on these elements of a peer’s essay draft or Scratch Outline (seperately for both peer review)

#1 What I like best about this essay

#2 Thesis argument -- present & effective?

#3 Synopsis of text -- present & effective?

#4 Evidence -- Assert/Support/Explain in each paragraph?

#5 Order and Logic of paragraphs sensible? Effective?

#6 Grammar errors – mention patterns only (do not correct grammar)

#7 Friendly note of advice to writer—what’s working, what to improve

ONLINE PEER REVIEW GUIDELINES for Canvas

Please read and comment on your system-assigned peers’ drafts on a larger rather than a smaller screen. Make editorial comments and questions following the guidelines below.

Before you begin, print out and read the assignment prompt. Keep it nearby. Also review the 1b Course Rubric. Then, scan through the entire draft or Scratch Outline as quickly as you can. Before entering your comments

Now, take the following steps:

1. After quickly scanning the entire draft, say something positive about what you’ve read. What do you like best about it? Put a large #1 and say “WHAT I LIKE BEST ABOUT THIS ESSAY IS…”

1. Put a large #2 and the word THESIS. Then, FIND the THESIS and COMMENT on what you believe is the main argument of the essay. Is it clear and easy to find? If so, try to re-state it in your own words. {I think you’re saying, xxx.]If you like, you may suggest re-wording it or adding to it – make specific suggestions, if you have any. If you can’t find a thesis argument, SAY THAT, and maybe create one as an example of what you believe the essay is arguing. Identifying and helping clarify the main argument or thesis of the essay is a first, most important thing to do. If the essay strikes you as off topic, meaning it’s not what was assigned in the prompt, politely say so. (This is rare.)

1. Next, put a large #3 and COMMENT ON the presence and quality of a brief SYNOPSIS (summary) of the story. Is it there, is it clear, and is it very brief? Does it focus in on main elements like who tells the story, where it takes place, and who it’s about? VERY IMPORTANT: if the writer is re-telling the whole story, and that’s what most of the essay is about, say OOPS! Politely remind him or her that THIS IS NOT OK! We are writing ABOUT the story or poem, not re-telling it.

1. Next, put a large #4 and COMMENT on the EVIDENCE offered to support the thesis argument of the essay section by section or by each body paragraph. (Identify paragraphs by number.) You may need to quickly scan through the whole essay again. Does each paragraph have its own TOPIC SENTENCE {Assert) that announces the purpose of the whole paragraph? Are there SPECIFIC QUOTES (Support) offered as evidence to support this assertion, followed by an EXPLANATION (Explain) or analysis of this quote? [ASE]. If so, good. If not, try to suggest what might serve to declare the topic of the paragraphs, note it needs textual evidence, and/ or suggest an explanation of a quote is missing. This is a good way to structure the body paragraphs of the expository essay: Assert the paragraph’s point/Support it with a quote/Explain what it means [ASE].

1. Next, put a large #5 and COMMENT on the ORDER and internal LOGIC of the paragraphs. Does the evidence offered to support the thesis argument make sense to you? Notice the essay’s organization. Be sure to comment if you notice the essay takes “side trips.” Is the essay logically put together? Does it stay on the topic? If not, briefly comment on paragraphs that seem out of place or beside the point. Try outlining the paragraph topics to help you identity the LOGICAL REASONING of the essay. Again, notice if the essay is mostly re-telling the story. If that’s all you see, say so.

1. Finally, please do NOT correct grammar, punctuation, spelling or format errors. You might mention it –use #6, GRAMMAR --if you notice a pattern of errors or want to suggest that the Spell Checker is in order. If it’s not double spaced in MLA formatting yet, just mention that it must be submitted in that format. DO NOT SPEND ANY TIME CORRECTING GRAMMAR.

1. NOTE TO THE WRITER. When you’ve finished reviewing the essay, look back. Please write a final short note to the writer -- #7. What is your advice? In a friendly tone, briefly explain your comments. ALWAYS MENTION THE THESIS ARGUMENT again here. BE SPECIFIC. What’s working? What could be changed to make the essay better?

USE A FRIENDLY TONE and MENTION WHAT’s WORKING WELL, first & last. PLEASE REMEMBER TO BE KIND, TO BE SPECIFIC and TO BE ENCOURAGING.

Again, be sure your name is at the top.