Order 1117462: Does hosting the World Cup make economic sense for a country?

Overall the information is interesting and in the end I found myself more informed on the issues brought on by the world cup. There are a few things to look out for. Many times during the paper I found myself stumbling over some of the phrasing. Your writing could be cleaned up a little bit because I felt that there were extra words that didn't help strengthen the essay. Also if World Cup is capitalized once it needs to be done throughout the entire essay. Also work on using commas within your sentences more because they sometimes turn into run ons. Try reading your essay out loud to yourself and see if you can work on finding a better flow. If it sounds awkward to say it will be just as awkward to read. Also go over your transitions from paragraph to paragraph especially when introducing a new topic. Oftentimes your paragraphs didn't seem to have a closing idea or a lead in to a new thought. 

Very good start on a unique essay idea. All it needs is a little restructuring and it will be good piece of writing. Can't wait to read the finished piece!

1. The introduction didn’t draw me in as well as I would have liked. Everything was very factual and went right into explanation of what the World Cup is. The good part about the intro is that it did give me the basic information I needed to understand what the paper was about.

2. The conclusion brought together the idea that the World Cup can be both beneficial to a country but also detract from the economy if not prepared for. The conclusion didn’t have a solid closing statement. It felt like it simply dropped off without providing an ending statement.

3. The argument is that if countries prepare properly the World Cup can be a beneficial event for the economy. If not prepared for a country can go into serious debt and lose a lot of business. The thesis should be stated more clearly from the beginning. I had to read through the entire paper to come to this conclusion.

4. You cited information well but sometimes I wish you had used or found more facts. There were times when you said something “alluded” to something but I wish there had been more evidence to back it up.

5. Each paragraph has its own idea but the transitions could be more interesting. The paragraphs need some conclusion to an idea as well as an introduction into the next.

6. This is your best body paragraph as it introduces a new topic, explores it and then gives a conclusion with a Segway into the next paragraph.

Research and reports on the World Cup 2018 indicate that the tourism sector of Russia improved very much during the World Cup period and more is expected to happen in the coming years. According to the report of the world travel and tourism council, the international spending of the tourists who visited the country during the world cup period grew by about 7%. In the world cup period, the level of income earned by the tourism sector increased greatly as compared to other periods in Russia (Müller 1111). Also, the growth of the tourism sector increased employment opportunities and increased the GDP of the country.

7. The way you quoted was correct and went along with the guidelines.

8. The bibliography didn’t have any problems.

9. Definitely focus on run on sentences, wordiness, and the use of commas. “Moreover, the World Cup benefits the host country in very many perspectives majorly economically and socially.” In this sentence you can remove “very” and the sentence still makes complete sense and actually appears stronger. Also I believe you meant “mainly” instead of “majorly”. You can look up the definitions and decide for yourself.

10. Best sentence: “The World Cup may affect the economy of a nation both positively and negatively.”

This sentence is clear and to the point.

Worst sentence: “Unemployment in the developed countries that host the world cup is majorly caused by the use of capital-intensive methods of production which lead to unemployment.”

Once again “majorly” is used but it doesn’t make sense. It is also a sentence that just continues without making a clear point. What is capital intensive? I am a reader unaware of what this term means so the sentence does not make as much sense to me.