history revision
Reader’s Name: ____________________________ Writer’s Name: _______________________________
Peer Editing: Compare and Contrast Essay
1. First, read the writer's introduction all the way through then respond to the following:
a. Highlight the attention getter. Does the first sentence "hook" the reader into the paper? Explain.
b. Number the preview of points. Does the introduction correctly state that the paper will discuss “types of work”, “forms of rebellion”, and “types of abuse/punishment”? Explain.
c. Underline the thesis. Does the thesis confuse you, or do you know EXACTLY what the paper is about? Explain.
2. Next, read the writer's body paragraphs all the way through then respond to the following:
a. Underline the topic sentence for each paragraph. Do any of the topic sentences confuse you, or do you know EXACTLY what that paragraph is about? Does that topic sentence directly relate to the thesis statement? Explain?
Topic Sentence #1: ____________________________________________________________________
Topic Sentence #2: ____________________________________________________________________
Topic Sentence #3: ____________________________________________________________________
Topic Sentence #4: ____________________________________________________________________
Topic Sentence #5: ____________________________________________________________________
Topic Sentence #6: ____________________________________________________________________
b. Make check marks next to the writer's supporting evidence in each paragraph. Does each piece of support evidence relate to the topic sentence in that paragraph? Explain. If it does not, put an “X” next to that sentence rather than a check.
c. Does the writer use transition words and phrases to contrast the subjects and to provide a smooth flow from one paragraph to another? If not, show where the writer needs more of these by writing “TRANSITION” in all capital letters.
Reader’s Name: ____________________________ Writer’s Name: _______________________________
3. Read the writer's conclusion all the way through then respond to the following:
a. Underline the restated thesis statement. Does the conclusion restate the thesis in a DIFFERENT way than it was stated in the introduction? Explain.
4. Re-read the writer’s entire paper ALOUD as it is written. Read it all the way through very slowly as you look and listen for errors in grammar and mechanics.
Grammar/Mechanic Question Y N
1. Does each sentence start with a capital letter? (Circle all letters that are not capitalized.)
2. Does each sentence end with a period, or appropriate punctuation? (Insert a period whenever necessary)
3. Are there sentence fragments? Does it sound choppy and incomplete when you read it aloud? (Label sentence fragments in the margin.)
4. Are there run-on sentences? Do you not have time to take a breath when you read it aloud? (Label run-on sentences in the margin.)
5. Are there any spelling errors? Correct the spelling to the best of your ability by writing the correct form above the incorrect form.
6. Is each paragraph indented? 7. Are there 8 complete paragraphs? Final Comments:
- Readers Name: Ashraf Al Shekaili
- Writers Name: Pastory Muqaibal
- Topic Sentence 1: It is clear, about the division of work between men and women.
- Topic Sentence 2: clear topic sentence, about women labor.
- Topic Sentence 3: Not so clear, it shuold states clearly that this paragraph is about resistance of male slaves.
- Topic Sentence 4: Not clear, it should be related to the thesis statement, which is the resistance of female slaves.
- Topic Sentence 5: No paragraph #5
- Topic Sentence 6: No paragraph #6
- Readers Name0:
- Writers Name0:
- ChkBox: On
- ChkBox0: Off
- ChkBox1: On
- ChkBox2: Off
- ChkBox3: On
- ChkBox4: Off
- ChkBox5: Off
- ChkBox6: On
- ChkBox7: Off
- ChkBox8: On
- ChkBox9: On
- ChkBox10: Off
- ChkBox11: Off
- ChkBox12: On
- Textfield: Pastory, your essay is good, but needs some editing. Make a clear thesis statement, same as the one the professor provided for us, and buil up your topic sentences based on that thesis statment. Make a clear topic sentence, as simple as you can. Finaly, eliminate any unnecessary information that does not provide evidence to your thesis statement.