Psychology

Theoretical Frameworks I

Existential Theoretical Framework

Assignment Resources:

· "Existential Therapy Background," located below.

· Therapy Session 1: Read the case of Gwen on page 156 and answer at least three questions for reflection on page 157.

· Therapy Session 2: the existential therapy session below between Betty and Dr. Neukrug. Take notes on the interaction between Betty and Dr. Neukrug.

· Complete the written assignment according to the assignment directions.

Existential Therapy Background

Existential therapy is loosely based on existentialism, such as the writings of Jean Paul Sartre and Martin Buber. However, its application as a therapy is actually much more optimistic than the writings of many existentialist authors. Existential therapists believe in the importance of discussing the philosophy of existential therapy and view therapy as a shared journey that examines meaningfulness in life. Thus, it is not unusual for existential therapists to share their knowledge about living (and dying) and to even periodically self-disclose as they attempt to develop an authentic relationship with their clients. Because existential therapy is based on the sharing of a philosophy, it does not offer specific techniques for doing therapy. However, some argue that “sharing a philosophy” is a technique in itself. Some of the underlying assumptions of this philosophy include the following:

1. The ability to self-reflect and be self-aware. Although individuals often choose a life of denial, they are capable of self-reflection and self-awareness.

2. Feelings as a message of our being in the world. Anxiety, guilt, depression and other feelings are a statement about the choices we make and should be examined in this context, not as an indication of pathology.

3. Choice: We are capable of making positive choices for ourselves and for all of humanity. Not choosing is a choice and can lead to what some have called an “existential death or existential vacuum.”

4. Responsibility. We have a responsibility to make choices that will positively affect ourselves and others. Otherwise, we all will live in chaos.

5. Meaning through our relationships with others. We are constantly redefining ourselves through our relationships. Therapy is a journey through which the therapist and the client are equal partners in their search for meaning.

6. The importance of authenticity. It is critical that we are real with others. Otherwise we live a life of lies and deceit—a life filled with denial of one’s true feelings and inner thoughts.

7. A never-ending search for completeness and wholeness. As we become more authentic and more aware, healthy choices become more obvious and easier to make. However, due to the complexities of life, we will be faced with choices, sometimes difficult ones, until we die.

Let’s see how Dr. Ed Neukrug applies this philosophy with his client, Betty, in their shared existential journey.

Existential Therapy Session

Dr. Neukrug: Well Betty, I want to thank you for coming in today and agreeing to share some of your thoughts and concerns with me and um, wanna just kind of open it up and start wherever you like:

Betty: Well uh, I just recently retired from the police department and I’m moving into a profession now, (into) counseling where I understand that I will need to have some type of closeness, a relationship with my clients, but I really don’t have any, that much experience in that regard because of my work and um, like the only uh, substantial relationship I’ve had was with my mother.

Dr. Neukrug: It’s fascinating I find the contrast between being a police officer and a counselor really interesting. Especially when you talk about the fact that it sounds like you want some intimacy in your life, but you haven’t really had that except with your mother, so there is a stark contrast there between, again between being a police officer and being a counselor. It sounds like you want to move into that direction of having more intimacy in your life in general.

Betty: Yes um, I just… I just find it, I find it hard to talk about um, I umm

Dr. Neukrug: Which parts to talk about?

Betty: Uh, the intimacy part and I don’t understand how to work it, how to work it out because there’s certain aspects of myself that just didn’t uh, acknowledge, I ignored. I’d say the emotional part of myself was not honored. And now that I’m stepping out of a role in which I had a script, you know, I had the uniform, I knew what I had to do there was no question about what I had to do each day it was like a mantra, it was like something I did every day and now, it’s… I have to be, I have to come out of myself.

Dr. Neukrug: It almost sounds robot-like. Um, that you kind of, lived a role you even said it you wore a uniform. And you put a certain image out to the world an image which was maybe not the real you, as you saw yourself inside and now you’re really searching for who that inner being is.

Betty: Right… More so uh… also, um, working in an environment that has been historically racist and sexist uh... you tend to want to be invisible. Oh I mean to say “you tend to be”… I tend to want to be invisible and not… and not be in front, so open about who I was. It was like I just following the role, being like the “good girl” and my womanhood was not honored it was a minor thing and it was not just something, not just talking about the people, I’m talking about with myself and how it’s coming out that’s who I am.

Dr. Neukrug: OK, so you found that, in that environment being a police officer, am I correct in hearing that you personally experienced racism and sexism…

Betty: Yes...

Dr. Neukrug: … and that was very difficult for you and you kind of hid, is that accurate?

Betty: Yes, yes... um the way I dealt with that was to… to feel like I had to achieve in order to be accepted, it was conditional. Um, I don’t know what else to say about that. It was... it was uh, hard lessons. I learned a lot I also had to look at… look at how I, my role in all of it…

Dr. Neukrug: You made some difficult choices I think as a police officer, in terms of how you were going to live your life because of the sexism and racism and the nature of being a police officer. The choices were maybe they weren’t even that conscious, but it sounds like the choices where to kind of hide your real self.

Betty: Well it wasn’t like… well it was true it wasn’t conscious, uh I had to come to this point reading, books and looking at other people to realize how much of myself was unconscious of… what I was really doing was detrimental to me as a person… and emotionally. So now that I have to work with people in that area, I need to, uh I need to know myself and how to be in the world authentically.

Dr. Neukrug: Well I’m certainly impressed that this is, that you’ve switched roles like that and that this is your new goal for yourself um and I’m really interested in how you were able to raise your consciousness around your lack of awareness of self and your lack of intimacy and how you were playing roles. How did you do that?

Betty: Well, I’d say it happened two different ways. One way was books I uh, there was a book I found called, “Black Feminist Thought” that really opened my eyes a lot and also when my mother was sick, I realized I was working and I realized that the role of caring and the heart is so much more important to me in this life than… then the, I don’t know what other way to put it, but a masculine way of being… being out there and then the role of caretaking when my mother

was sick was very important. I had to really like, really open up to that and that takes a lot of courage to uh… do that…

Dr. Neukrug: Yes it does and I hear how courageous you were. And I think I’m also hearing these kind of two parts of yourself being opened up at the same time and that was that feeling part of yourself through your mother’s illness and also kind of the intellectual part of yourself through this book that you read and other books that you’ve read. The both of those kind of raised your consciousness about the importance for you that you found more authenticity in your life.

Betty: Mmm-hmm, that was because, uh when you watch someone suffer which is hard, I mean with the police work, uh there was uh, it was more of a…

Dr. Neukrug: …Detached suffering?

Betty: …Detached pseudo kind of presence I guess and you knew that you had to bind yourself emotionally to get through it. It’s not a bad thing because, sometimes you need to do that … uh you just don’t know what to do with it. And when my mother was sick… Then I had to really look at those feelings and try to integrate then and that was really hard… a lot of anger and all that.

Dr. Neukrug: So again, your mother’s illness really made you look at yourself in some deeper ways.

Betty: Right, right. I had to make decisions to balance work and was at the hospital with her a lot so I had to balance work and be there or make the decision to leave work and be there, you know, leave so I had to uh, it was… it was like I don’t know if this makes any sense, but it was like dealing with my mother and father. Like the police department, to me, was like my surrogate father where you were like, not exactly I would say, a balanced view of a father, but you had to be there, you had to stay strong, you had to do your job along with my mom it was… it was different, I had to be open and receptive and feeling, like you said get in touch with feeling parts.

Dr. Neukrug: Yeah, I think that I can really understand what you’re saying. I had a kind of similar experience with my mom who was ill a few years ago and passed away and I was like I was living two lives in some ways. Is that kind of the experience that you had?

Betty: Yeah, exactly… living two lives…yeah.

Dr. Neukrug: And I guess the um, in a way, and I hope you understand how I mean this, the gift that your mom gave you, in her illness, was to help you see a deeper part of yourself.

Betty: Alright, yeah… absolutely… because I did have to, um, walk through that and see… I, I mean I really had to just be there and connect with a deeper part of myself which wasn’t very easy or pretty. Life was very messy, yeah… yeah.

Dr. Neukrug: So now you’ve chosen a field which is, and maybe this was more of a conscious choice, you’ve chosen a field which deals mostly with authenticity and realness and now you wanna move on with your life in a new way. In a way where you have more realness in relationships, more intimacy, um, perhaps realness in your counseling relationships, perhaps more realness in your friendship and love relationships and now you can consciously begin to make choices about bringing yourself to this new place. Does that make any sense to you?

Betty: Yeah, I um, I have to… well I need to, let’s see… I would say… honor my emotional life, which I have not done. It’s, uh, usually a sign of weakness in my uh, my way of being in the world before…

Dr. Neukrug: That was you before and now we have a new you and I’ve got to say, I really respect this new you. As you are honoring yourself, honoring your emotional self and beginning to listen to it more effectively, more frequently.

Betty: Yeah, more frequently… thank you.

Dr. Neukrug: Well it sounds like it’s been a kind of, hard road for you in recent years, but it, I’m also hearing that you’re making some really good choices for yourself as you’re moving forward in your life. And again, I really respect that.

Betty: Thank you. Seems like I have to work really, really hard to be uh, anything more than ordinary … so I’ll just uh, just keep working as long as I don’t lose myself in my work, that’s a fear too… (laughs)

Dr. Neukrug: You want to remain real…

Betty: Right, right, right, right! Yeah…

Dr. Neukrug: I guess I’m thinking a lot of times we think that, um, life is gonna be easy, but um… as you’re showing us, it usually isn’t. There are so many things in life that, that give us difficult, hard times and messages to ourselves about who we are and where we’re going and I think you’re really hearing some of the messages you’re getting about yourself.

Betty: Can you give me something to uh, take with me?… (laughs)

Dr. Neukrug: I guess what I’m hearing… that’s a great question! I guess what I’m hearing is that you’ve been giving yourself something and if I can give you anything that’s what I want to give you and that is to continue to give yourself that sense of inner awareness that you’ve begun to give to yourself. Thank you for sharing today.

Betty: Thanks…