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paper.docxRunning head: PARENT CHILD RELATIONSHIP AND ITS EFFECTS ON ADOLESCENCE.
PARENT CHILD RELATIONSHIP AND ITS EFFECTS ON ADOLESCENCE 9
Parent-Child Relationship and Its Effects on Adolescence.
The parent-child relationship is the most important relationship in an individual’s life. In order to understand the relationship between children and their parents, it is vital to look at the ways that they interact with each other emotionally, physically and socially. All people think of establishing good relationships with their children and would like to know what an ideal parent-child relationship would be like. There are different imaginations of various kinds of effects that a good or a poor relationship would bring. Therefore the significance of the attachment that the children have with their parents is that it could possibly influence the kind of decisions that the adolescent would make. Violence can at times be as a result of exposure to violent behavior. According to the center for disease control (2015), the third leading cause of death in the world for young people at the age of fifteen to twenty-four years is youth violence. The relationship between children and their parents play a crucial role in shaping a person’s approach to the world as well as the determination of who they become in the future.
Psychologists believe that children whose basic needs are adequately met by their parents usually grow into trusting adults unlike those whose needs were not met hence developing feelings of mistrust. When children feel secure in the presence of their parents, they normally become adaptive and adjust properly to the environment and are able to avoid stress in their childhood. On the other hand, the unavailable rejecting and the unresponsive parents make the children repel and become self-reliant. The situation is brought about by the fact that they experience their parents as unresponsive and end up becoming insecurely attached to them. The adolescents then develop the character of being dependent as they are not certain of their parent's support. The purpose of this research is to explore the attachment and the bond between parents and their children, and how the children are affected when a disconnection occurs in the family setting.
There are various reports that major on the parent and child relationship especially revolving around the deviant behavior by adolescence. According to Best et al. (2016), a program should be developed for educating parents on how to establish a good relationship with their adolescent children. In his report, he discusses various findings of past research mostly focusing on the adolescent relationship with their parents. Kohut, (2013) established parenting efforts play a great role in shaping our identity and our approaches to relationships. Yet in another research, Woodhead, (2015) established that the parents are responsible for their children’s adaptive adjustments. While children who are insecurely attached to their parents end up being unresponsive and usually avoid relying on the parents, those who happen to be attached to their parents usually become responsive to their needs.
In his study Hirsch, made some tests on that were focused on juvenile delinquency in developing countries and used stage stratified cluster sampling. It is after this that he developed the social attachment theory that plays a very important role in the elucidation of juvenile delinquency. Research by Eisenstadt, (2017) indicates that when people face disconnection from the society in terms of attachment, involvement, belief, and commitment they become deviant. Many scholars have also delved into parental involvement and come up with suggestions of how parents can motivate their adolescent children in order to achieve a better outcome in the education of their children. According to Scharf et al. (2004) adolescents who report a positive relationship with their parents and felt comfortable when they consulted them or requested their support, were found to have a greater understanding of the world.
While other theorists ask the question of why the adolescents get involved in misconduct, Hirsch tries to establish why they do not commit deviant acts. This is because at times it makes one achieve what they want in certain situations. According to Waitindi (2016), all human have the ability to be deviant though they make a choice of being humble. The focus of this paper is to look at the attachment of the parent-child relationships and what it does to influence violence if it is manifested in their adolescent children.
There are various components in the parent-child relationship that normally make it what it is. The independent variables include parental attachment, involvement, monitoring, and communication. It is important to note that the discussion is about a normal family since a single parent set up would result in information that may have deviations from what is presented. Strohschein and Mathew (2015), reported that adolescents who are less likely to rebel against their parents are the ones who received encouragements and support from their parents. The interactions between the parents and their children usually create an attachment that would allow the children to feel more secure and that their parents really cared about them. Children would not want to disappoint someone whom they have established a relationship with. When such kind of a relationship exists, then the child would not result in rebelling or disobeying the parent. The parents can use this attachment to ensure that the children do not participate in actions that would offend them.
Lindsey (2015), also agrees with the findings that the attachment between parents and their children decreases the possibility of the adolescents to rebel against their parents. When parents want their children to follow certain rules, they would consider establishing a bond between them and their children which is enough to hold the children accountable. When the children are faced with a situation that is likely to anger their parents, then they would think twice before they do any action. The children would be very quick to consider if the situation would end up offending their parents or perhaps disappointing them. The bond between the parents and their children would prompt them to do so whereas in the case where the bond is absent, the second thought is gone.
Strohschein and Mathew (2015) argue that the physical presence of the parents is paramount when parents want their children to desist from taking part in deviant activities. However, the bond may not be enough to make the children stop deviant behavior. There is a need for the parents to be present and ensure that they monitor the child’s behaviors so that they can maintain the attachment between the two. The parent’s involvement may include surveillance of the children’s behavior to ensure that they do not involve in any misconduct. It is expected that when an opportunity to correct the child’s behavior arises, the parents would cease it without wasting time. Therefore monitoring of the children means knowing their whereabouts and who they are with which ensures that the parent leaves little room for the children to engage in any form of misconduct.
Parents and their children should engage in constant communication as it is an important component in their relationship. Usually, adolescents tend to become more sensitive to the statements that are directed to them by their parents. If the parent is not careful, the communication may create a disconnection. The reason behind this is that some of the statements may tend to be judgmental and they may, in the end, breaking the bond between them. Communication with adolescents is very sensitive. In case there develops a relationship that is hostile with the parents, then it normally impacts on how they relate with each other. Showing the adolescence support and encouragement instead of disapproval would by the parents helps in making them have a sense of belonging (Strohschein and Mathew, 2008).
When a parent who has not been around tries to discipline an adolescent becomes a way of creating a disconnection between the two. When the bond between the parent and the child is strong, then there will be few reasons for them to engage in violent behavior.
Research on the connection between children and their parents and violent behavior exhibits a need for intervention of the families. The influence parents have on their children will at times influence how they relate with their friends and other people that they associate with. It is also impossible to deal with the parent-child relationship if we leave out the connections they have with their peers. When the family influence lessens there is a likelihood that the peers will associate with deviant peers (Childs, Sullivan, Gulledge, 2011). The violent peers are definitely going to influence them to commit violent acts. When the concept is explored in another angle, when the peers engage in positive peer to peer association then they will learn positive behaviors. When parents become harsh to their children, they make them believe that harsh communication is the best way to connect with others. The idea will then make them associate with violent peers and reject the nonviolent ones. However, when families are well connected and have good parenting, adolescents are less likely to associate with violent peers. They will find it easy to communicate with their parents about the rules of their homes, the progress they make in school and their entire well-being. The most important point is that the parents should take the initiative of making early interventions when their children display any kind of misconduct at an early age. If this is not done then the chances of the child engaging in that kind of behavior is very high. The parent’s intervention is the most influential part of the adolescent’s life.
John Bowlby, found out the attachments that we formulate with people as a result of parenting practices form our individuality and our attitude towards relationships. In the same way, the social bonding theory presents an approach to adolescent’s misconduct which can be understood as the violent behavior among adolescents (Gitonga, 2013). The primary parents of adolescents are the main attachments that the adolescents can rely on when making their choices of not becoming violent. Studies have shown that disconnection in the parent-child attachment can lead to a complete change of behavior as well as the change in the social bond. The adolescents are more likely to believe in their violent peers if there is a break in communication with their parents and also when there is conflict in the home environment.
Baumeister (2010), points out that there exists a relationship between belief and attachment. The idea comes up because people tend to show respect for the ones they look up to as they have an attachment. When the attachment is lost, then respect is also lost. The same happens with the relationships between adolescents and their parents. If the parents are away very often and they happen to communicate false promises to their children, then they happen to lose respect for them. The parents should be involved in their children’s lives so that they can establish an attachment that can compel the children to respect them.
References
Baumeister, R. F. (2010). The self. Handbook of social psychology.
Best, J. W., & Kahn, J. V. (2016). Research in education. Pearson Education India
Borges, G., Bagge, C. L., & Orozco, R. (2016). A literature review and meta-analyses of cannabis use and suicidality. Journal of Affective Disorders, 195, 63-74
Eisenstadt, S. N. (2017). From generation to generation. Routledge
Gitonga, M. L. (2013). Perceived parenting behavior and its relationship to levels of self-esteem among adolescents in secondary schools in Nairobi County. Unpublished dissertation, University of Nairobi, Kenya
Kohut, H. (2013). The analysis of the self: A systematic approach to the psychoanalytic treatment of narcissistic personality disorders. University of Chicago Press.
Lindsey, L. L. (2015). Gender roles: A sociological perspective. Routledge.
Woodhead, M. (2015). Psychology and the cultural construction of children’s needs. In Constructing and reconstructing childhood (pp. 54-73). Routledge
Scharf, M., Mayseless, O., & Kivenson-Baron, I. (2004). Adolescents' attachment representations and developmental tasks in emerging adulthood. Developmental psychology, 40(3), 4 30.
Watindi, R. A. (2016). Influence of parental guidance on the social responsibility norms of early adolescent girls in secondary schools in Kakamega central sub County, Kenya(Doctoral dissertation, Moi University).
