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is tensions between the parents and the nanny: jealousy that the nanny might see the first step, hear the first word, or—worse yet—be called “mommy.” There are also tensions over different discipline styles; disdain on the part of the nanny that the mother isn’t staying home with her child; and feelings of guilt or envy as the child cries when the nanny leaves but not when the mother goes to work.

Social Class. Do you think that social class makes a difference in how people rear their children? If you answered “yes,” you are right. But what difference? And why? Sociologists have found that working-class parents tend to think of children as wildflowers that develop naturally. Middle-class parents, in contrast, are more likely to think of children as garden flowers that need a lot of nurturing if they are to bloom (Lareau 2002). These contrasting views make a world of difference Working-class parents are more likely to set limits on their children and then let them choose their own activities, while middle-class parents are more likely to try to push their children into activi- ties that they think will develop the children’s think- ing and social skills.

Sociologist Melvin Kohn (1963, 1977; Kohn and Schooler 1969) also found that the type of work that parents do has an impact on how they rear their chil- dren. Because members of the working class are closely supervised on their jobs, where they are expected to follow explicit rules, their concern is less with their children’s motivation and more with their outward conformity. These parents are more apt to use phys- ical punishment—which brings about outward conformity without regard for internal attitude. Mid- dle-class workers, in contrast, are expected to take more initiative on the job. Consequently, middle-class parents have more concern that their children develop curiosity and self-expression. They are also more likely to withdraw privileges or affection than to use physi- cal punishment.

Family Transitions The later stages of family life bring their own pleasures to be savored and problems to be solved. Let’s look at two transitions––staying home longer and adjusting to widowhood.

“Adultolescents” and the Not-So-Empty Nest. When the last child leaves home, the hus- band and wife are left, as at the beginning of their marriage, “alone together.” This situation, sometimes called the empty nest—is not as empty as it used to be. With prolonged education and the high cost of establishing a household, U.S. children are leaving home later. Many stay home during college, and others move back after college. Some (called “boomerang chil- dren”) strike out on their own, but then find the cost or responsibility too great and return home. Much to their own disappointment, some even leave and return to the parents’ home several times. As a result, 42 percent of all U.S. 25- to 29-year-olds are living with their par- ents (U.S. Census Bureau 2007a:Table A2).

Although these “adultolescents” enjoy the protection of home, they have to work out issues of remaining dependent on their parents at the same time that they are grappling with concerns and fears about establishing independent lives. For the parents, “boomerang

The Family Life Cycle 313

Mother cares for child at work 4%

Father 21%

Grandparents 17%

Other relatives 5%

Organized child care facility a

23%

Other nonrelatives b

17%

Other arrangements c

14%

Mother cares for child at work 3%

Father 10%

Grandparents 23%

Other relatives 10%

Organized child care facility a 27%

Other nonrelatives b

18%

Other arrangements c 9%

MARRIED COUPLES

SINGLE MOTHERS

FIGURE 10.5 Who Takes Care of Preschoolers While Their Mothers Are at Work?

a Includes day care centers, nursery schools, preschools, and Head Start programs.

b Includes in-home babysitters and other nonrelatives providing care in either the child’s or the provider’s home.

c Includes self-care and no regular arrangements.

Source: America’s Children 2005:Table POP8.B.