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Functions of the Incest Taboo. Functionalists note that the incest taboo helps families to avoid role confusion. This, in turn, facilitates the socialization of children. For example, if father–daughter incest were allowed, how should a wife treat her daughter—as a daugh- ter, as a subservient second wife, or even as a rival? Should the daughter consider her mother as a mother, as the first wife, or as a rival? Would her father be a father or a lover? And would the wife be the husband’s main wife, a secondary wife—or even the “mother of the other wife” (whatever role that might be)? And if the daughter had a child by her father, what relationships would everyone have? Maternal incest would also lead to com- plications every bit as confusing as these.

The incest taboo also forces people to look outside the family for marriage partners. An- thropologists theorize that exogamy was especially functional in tribal societies, for it forged alliances between tribes that otherwise might have killed each other off. Today, exogamy still extends both the bride’s and the groom’s social networks by adding and building re- lationships with their spouse’s family and friends.

Isolation and Emotional Overload. As you know, functionalists also analyze dysfunc- tions. One of those dysfunctions comes from the relative isolation of today’s nuclear fam- ily. Because extended families are enmeshed in large kinship networks, their members can count on many people for material and emotional support. In nuclear families, in con- trast, the stresses that come with crises such as the loss of a job—or even the routine pres- sures of a harried life, as depicted in our opening vignette—are spread among fewer people. This places greater strain on each family member, creating emotional overload. In addition, the relative isolation of the nuclear family makes it vulnerable to a “dark side”—incest and various other forms of abuse, matters that we examine later in this chapter.

The Conflict Perspective: Struggles Between Husbands and Wives Anyone who has been married or who has seen a marriage from the inside knows that— despite a couple’s best intentions—conflict is a part of marriage. Conflict inevitably arises between two people who live intimately and who share most everything in life—from their goals and checkbooks to their bedroom and children. At some point, their desires and ap- proaches to life clash, sometimes mildly and sometimes quite harshly. Conflict among mar- ried people is so common that it is the grist of soap operas, movies, songs, and novels.

Throughout the generations, power has been a major source of conflict between wives and husbands: Husbands have had much more power, and wives have resented it. In the United States, as you know, the change has been far-reaching. Do you think that one day wives will have more power than their husbands? Maybe they already do. Look at Figure 10.1. Based

on a national sample, this figure shows who makes decisions concerning the family’s finances and purchases, what to do on the weekends, and even what to watch on television. As you can see, wives now have more control over the fam- ily purse and make more of these decisions than do their husbands. These find- ings are a surprise, and we await confirmation by future studies.

For those marriages marked by the heat of conflict or the coldness of indif- ference, divorce is a common solution. Divorce can mark the end of the rela- tionship and its problems, or it can merely indicate a changed legal relationship within which the couple’s problems persist as they continue to quarrel about finances and children. We will return to the topic of divorce later in this chapter.

The Symbolic Interactionist Perspective: Gender, Housework, and Child Care Changes in Traditional Orientations. Throughout the generations, house- work and child care have been regarded as “women’s work,” and men have re- sisted getting involved. As more women began to work for wages, however, men came to feel pressure to do housework and to be more involved in the care of their children. But no man wanted to be thought of as a sissy or under the control of a woman, a sharp conflict with his culturally rooted feelings of

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Husband makes more

Wife makes more

Couples divide decisions equally

26%

43%

31%

FIGURE 10.1 Who Makes the Decisions at Home?

Source: Morin and Cohn 2008.

Note: Based on a nationally representative sample, with questions on who chooses weekend activities, buys things for the home, decides what to watch on television, and manages household finances.