essay
mojirola0205
OvuhDyuhbyDowdy.pdf
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G O
U R
J)O W
D Y
le a rn
e d
as a
c h ild
in T
r i n i d a d
h o w
to p e rfe
c tly
im ita
te B
i-itish E
n g lish
, th
e id
io m
o f
th e
c o lo
n iz
e r
a n d
o f
T rin
id a d ia
n p u b lic
li/a. T
h e
c;ost o f
a c q u irin
g th
is “ sk
ill” w
a s
a iz
e n a tio
,z frirn
h e r
p e e rs
a n d
a lso
fro m
h e rs
e f
th o u g h
“th e
Q u een
’s n g /is
ti”
1 1
)0 /i
h e r
a c e rta
in k in
d of
.c o c a l
a ffirm
a tro
n ,
tt p r e
v e n te
d h e r
fro m
‘-e la
tin g
to frie
n d s
a n d
sty m
ie d
tize
e x p re
ssio n
o f
h e r
?)itai, in
n e rfe
e lin
g s.
S h e
b rid
g e d
th is
dzi’L f/e
la te
r on.
in itle
th ro
u g h .
th e
c re
a tiv
e m
e d iu
m o f
a c t,n
1 4 ,
,,‘/,icl, ti//o
w e d
h e r
to le
g itim
n a ie
ly o c c u p y
m a n y
d z j/e
re t,t
.vel,c’s. O
n e’s
“ /a
n u a e
o /
u / j i 1 ,a
t : y ”
m u .r
t b e
v a lid
a te
d in
th e
p u b lic
sp h c rc
, J)o
w d y
itre .c
, in
o rd
e ,
to e ra
d ic
a te
th e
sc h ism
in c o io
l2 iz
e d
so c ie
tie s—
a n d
c o lo
n iz
e d
in d jv
id u aL
c— ./7
etu .,eefl
m a s te
r d isc
o u rse
a n d
th e
la n g u a g e
o f
p e rs
o n a l
e x p re
ssio n .
u k
y D
I w
a n t
to b la
m e
it a lt
on m
y m
o th
e r.
It: is
ak eay
s easy
to
b lam
e th
e m
o th
e r,
an d
m o re
im p o rta
n tly
, th
e d ead
c a n n o t
sp eak
.
S o
fro m
th e
v a n ta
g e
p o in
t o f
ag e
an d
th e
se c u rity
fro m
re trib
u tio
n ,
I w
a n t
to la
y d o w
n th
e b e g in
n in
g s
o f
m y
p erso
n al
an g st
o v er
lan g u ag
e. W
h e n
w e
w ere
g ro
w in
g u p
iii T
rin id
a d ,
m y
m o th
e r
alw ay
s re
m in
d e d
us th
a t
w e
n eed
ed to
learn to
“cu rse
in w
h ite
.” .
B y
th is
sh e
m e a n t
o r
I b eliev
ed th
a t
sh e
m e a n t,
th a t
w e
sh o u ld
‘I’.
alw ay
s b e
aw are
th a t
w e
h ad
to p lay
to a
w h ite
au d ien
ce. W
e
co u ld
p ro
test., w
e co
u ld
sh o w
an g er,
h u t
w e
h ad
to re
m e m
b e r
th a t
th e re
w as
a w
h ite
w ay
, an
d th
a t
w as
th e
rig h t
w ay
. I
am su
re th
a t
sh e
h ad
accep ted
th a t
th is
w o u ld
b e
th e
case fo
r h e r
c h ild
re n
as
lo n g
as th
e B
ritish im
p e ria
l su
n did
rio t
set.
B e in
g m
id d le
class an(1
b lack
b ro
u g h t
p a rtic
u la
r b u rd
e n s
an d
resp o n sib
ilities. E
sp ecially
sin ce
o u r
g re
a t
u n cle
h ad
a c tu
a lly
b e e n
a p ast
m a y o r
o f
P o rt
o f
S p ain
, th
e cap
ital o f
T rin
id a d .
H e
h ad
m e t
an d
sat w
ith Q
u een
E lizab
eth ,
11cr M
ajesty ,
an d
th e
h m
p e ro
r 1-laile
S elassie
o f
E th
io p ia.
if w
e w
ere to
c o n tin
u e
th is
o u tsta
n d in
g tra
d itio
n o f
serv ice
in p u b lic
life, w
fieth er
p o litical
o r
c u ltu
ra l,
w e
n eed
ed to
h av
e certain
b ag
g ag
e. M
y m
o th
e r
p lo
d d ed
on u n re
le n t
in g ly
in h e r
effo rt
to m
a k e
u s
d eserv
in g
v essels
o f
p u b lic
a c c e p
tan ce.
T o
“cu rse
in w
h ite
” w
as th
e e p ito
m e
cf e m
b ra
c in
g th
e creed
o f
co lo
n izatio
n .
O n e
n o t
o n ly
h ad
to lo
o k
th e
p art,
lig h t-sk
in n e d ,
ch em
ical cu
rls fo
r a
co iffu
re, b u t
o n e
h ad
to so
u n d
th e
p a rt,
p erfect
B ritish
d ictio
n .
M ay
b e
it w
as m
y acto
r’s te
m p e ra
m e n t
th a t
m ad
e
IIIII 0
I. I
I II
i W
l S
P I
A K.
J f ) A
N N
I t ( l t . G
O U
R l ) O
W 1 ) V
Ii . I i I I , , i r t
such a
p erso
n al
jo u rn
ey to
m e.
I to
o k
on th
e p ro
ject i
iii s
an d
“ w
h ” s
w ith
su ch
d ev
o tio
n th
a t
I w
as g
iv en
m an
y I l)
I ) I r tlin
h lie
s to
rep resen
t m
y g rad
e sch
o o
l in
ch o
ral sp
eak in
g c o rn
p ’lit.io
n s
an d
sto ry
-tellin g
festiv als.
im ita
tio n
is a
g ran
d p lay
w h en
y o u
are y o u n g
an d
im p
ressio n
- ab
le. B
u t
I can
tell y o u
a v ery
p ain
fu l
m em
o ry
ab o u t
d isco
v erin
g th
e ed
g e
b etw
een fan
tasy an
d reality
. M
y frien
d s
w ere
o u
t in
th e
m id
d le
o f
th e
stre e t
p lay
in g
crick et,
n o
less, w
h en
I d
ecid ed
to jo
in th
em .
I w
as n
ev er
g o
o d
at sp
o rts,
m y
h an
d artd
ey e
co o
rd in
atio n
is m
o re
th e
p ro
d u ct
o f
w ish
fu l
th in
k in
g th
a n
reality .
B u t
I y
e n
tu red
in ,
as a
good sp
o rt,
an d
also as
a w
ay to
p ro
v id
e e n
te rta
in m
nent for
th e
g ro
u p
. A
g ain
, h av
in g
th e
so u l
o f
an acto
r can
fo rce
y o u
to p
u t
y o u r
p e r s o
n a l
im ag
e at
risk for
no g
o o
d reaso
n ex
cep t
th a t
it g iv
es y o u
a ch
an ce
1.0 affect
th e
situ a tio
n to
y o u r
ad v
an tag
e. A
p p lau
se d riv
es th
e reaso
n in
g o
f an
y self-resp
ectin g
h am
. in
o th
er w
o rd
s, a n y th
in g
fo r
atten tio
n .
S o
h ere
w e
are p lay
in g
crick et,
lo o
k in
g o u t
fo r
th e
cars tu
rn in
g in
to th
e street
an d
fo rcin
g u s
to scatter
o n to
th e
sid ew
alk s,
an d
I h
it a
b all
o v er
th e
fen ce
n earest
m y
left. It’s
a m
iracle th
a t
m y
m a k
e sh
ift b at
ev en
m ad
e co
n tact
w ith
th e
b all,
an d
th a t
I rn
an ag
ed to
d irect
it aw
ay fro
m th
e p
itch er.
It’s a n o
th e r
m iracle
th at.
in th
e scram
b le
fo r
th e
field ers
to fin
d th
e b
all, I
scream o u t
“O v
er th
ere.” N
o te
th a t
th e
“ th
” w
as in
tact. M
y E
n g lish
, E
n g lish
teach er
w o
u ld
h av
e b een
p ro
u d
o f
m e,
b u t
m o re
lik ely
, m
y m
o th
e r
w o
u ld
h av
e b
een ev
en m
o re
ex cited
“m astery
o f
th e
lan g u ag
e.” T
h e
g am
e sto
p p
ed still
fo r
th o se
few . —
- - - - -
seco n d s
w h ile
1 sp
o k
e. T
h e n
t.he g ig
g lin
g an
d sn
ick erin
g b eg
an .
S o m
eo n e
w as
h o llerin
g m
y p
h rase,
“o v
er th
ere,” in
th e
m o
st c x
ag g
eralccl B
ritish accen
t. T
h en
th e
o th
ers p
ick ed
it u
p .
It so
u n
d ed
as stran
g e
as an
y fo
reig n
lan g
u ag
e so
u n d ed
to m
e. W
h o
co u ld
h av
e said
th a t
p h rase,
w as
m y
q u estio
n ?
A n
y sen
sib le
p erso
n in
th o se
g iv
en circu
m stan
ces w
o u ld
h av
e en
u n
ciated “O
v u
h d
y u
h !”
I w
as fro
zen to
t.he asp
h alt.
S h
o u
ld I
ru n ,
sh o
u ld
I stan
d an
d stare
th e m
tiiiw rt?
W h
a t
w as
th e
“ rig
h t”
w ay
to d
eal w
ith th
e ir
sco rn
fu l
,ccights?
In trin
id a d ,
th e
so u n d s
o f
th e
m o
th e r
lan d ,
A frica,
p lay
in am
! ci
iii ihw
lan g u ag
e p
a tte
rn s
o f
E u
ro p
e, in
d ia
, an
d A
sia. T
h e
T rin
id ad
ian w
h o
h as
n o t
b een
m ad
e to
su b ju
g ate
h er
o ral
h isto
ry iii
im itatio
n s
o f
th e
m o
st recen
t fo
reig n
telev isio
n star,
A m
erican o r
B ritish
, h as
a p lu
m b
lin e
to th
e A
frican W
est C
o ast.
‘l’he sp
irits o f
h e r
an cesto
rs o
ccu p
y a
c h
a m
b e r
in h e r
co n scio
u sn
ess that.
m ak
e it
easy to
reach b ack
, u n seif-co
n scio
u sly
, to
th e
d eep
er in
sp ira
tio n
o f
h er
lin g u istic
cu ltu
re.
I, h o w
ev er,
w as
d efin
itely a
p ro
d u ct
o f
m y
m o
th er’s
am b itio
n s.
In o
rd er
fo r
a T
rirn d
a d
ia n
to m
ak e
p ro
g ress
on th
e lad
d er
o f
su c
cess, sh
e h as
to e m
b ra
th e
E n g lish
lan g u ag
e. If
it m
ean s
fo rg
e t
tin g
th a t
th e
lan g
u ag
e o f
ev ery
o n
e else
aro u n d
y o u
b ears
w itn
ess t,o
tw o
h u
n d
re d
y ears
o f
cro ss-p
o llin
atio n
, th
e n
so b e
it. Y
o u
r jo
b ,
as a
su rv
iv o r
o f
th e
tw en
ty -o
d d
g e n e ra
tio n s
o f
slav es
and in
d e n
tu red
w o rk
ers an
d o v erseers,
is to
b e
b est
at. th
e la
n g u a g e
th a t
w as
u sed
to en
slav e
y o u
an d
y o
u r
fo reb
ears. It
is a
p ain
fu l
stra te
g y
fo r
su rv
iv al,
b u t
m ay
b e
it is
ju st
a n
o th
e r
facet o f
th e
k in
d o f
tra n
scen d
en ce
to w
h ich
th e
d escen
d an
ts o f
k id
n ap
p ed
A frican
s h ad
to
asp ire
in o
rd er
to su
rv iv
e th
e v
ery m
e m
o ry
o f
slav ery
. S
ch o o l
c h
ild re
n are
n o
t en
co u rag
ed to
w rite
in T
rin id
ad in
ti. It
is v iew
ed ,
b y
o u r
esteem ed
ed u
cato rs,
to be
a “d
ialect” hot
h tw
d
to th
e ex
p ressio
n o f
h ig
h e r
th o u g h ts.
O u r
w riters
h av
e tltitr
hicinks
p u b lish
ed by
B ritish
p u b licatio
n h
o u
ses. O
tit hcst
stiu h
cit w
ritin g
is d esig
n ed
to b
e read
by fo
reig n
au d
ien ces,
fo r-ex
am p
le tile
h o ard
f th
e G
en eral
C ertificate
o f
E d u catio
n in
L o n d o n .
W e
are s u
p p o sed
ly w
ritin g
so th
a t
o u
r fello
w C
arib b ean
teach ers
can read
o u
r th
o u g h ts,
an d
E n g lish
is th
e b est
m ean
s o f
co m
m u n icatio
n .
E v e ry
o n
e w
h o
w rites
th e
lan g
u ag
e, k n o w
s th
a t
th e y
h av
e to
tra n
sla te
th e ir
th o u g h ts
as fast
as th
ey can
sp eak
, if
th ey
are g
o in
g to
co m
e acro
ss as
m o re
th a n
m o
ro n
s a tte
m p tin
g to
sp eak
“ th
e Q
u een
’s E
n “g
u sh
.”
o u
r ia
n g
u àg
e to
th e
b a d
h.J2L L
’otber.” O
u r
caly p
so sin
g ers,
p o
litician s,
an d
telev isio
n stars
are allo
w ed
to sp
eak T
rin id
a d
ia n
. B
u t
o u r
chilly n
ew sp
ap er
is p ro
d u
ced in
th e
b est
E n g lish
th is
sid e
o f
L o n d o n .
I su
p p o se
it is
im p o rta
n t
th a t
I-icr M
ajesty can
read o u r
d aily
g o in
g s
c iii,
reg ard
less o f
th e
fact th
a t
w e
b ecam
e an
in d
ep en
d en
t. lle
1 iiih
ltc -
s a rric
tw elv
e y
ears ago.
S o
w h o
are w
e p
lay iiig
to.1 Ii
s t’e
ic Is
Icc
l i f E
S K
I N
T H
A T
W E
S P
E A
K J O
A N
N E
K i L
f l O
t i I t
i ) O
W D
Y
°1 Y
p eo
p le
w h o
g et
to q u estio
n th
e v alu
e ju
d g m
e n t
th at.
w e
p lace
on o u r
in d ig
en o u s
lan g t]ag
e are
th e
cu ltu
ral w
o rk
ers in
th e
field o f
p o etry
an d
p lay
w rit.in
g .
W h e n
artists re
p re
se n t
T rin
id a d ia
n s
in th
eir n atu
ral sp
eak in
g state,
n o n e
o f
th e m
so u n d
lik e
th ey
are d istracted
by th
e so
u n d
p attern
s o f
th e
E n g lish
lan g u ag
e. S
o h ere
is th
e situ
atio n
th a t
m y
m o th
e r
fin d s
h erself
in: sh
e is
v ery
lig h t-sk
in n ed
, sh
e co
m es
fro m
a p o litically
p riv
ileg ed
fam ily
ancl sh
e is
b rig
h t
an d
am b itio
u s.
S h e
h as
c h ild
re n
w h o
are lig
h t
sk in
n ed
, th
ey do
n o t
n ecessarily
h av
e to
use c h e m
ic a ls
in th
e ir
h air
to lo
o k
tc g 0 0 0 i•
iS in
CLW Iti
c-d eriv
ed ,”
an d
th e y
o b v io
u s ly
h a v e
a ta
le n t
fot m
u IatJn
g lan
g u ag
e. W
h at
gonol m
o th
e r
w o u ld
riot m
a r
sh a l
all h e
av ai]ah
le su
p p o rts
to h e lp
h e r
c h ild
re n
access th
- p o w
e r
stri.tctn re
that. sev
eral cen
tu ries
o f
b lack
, w
h ite,
an d
C h in
ese in
te r
m arriag
e c]eliv
cred to
th e ir
g en
eratio n ?
M y
m o th
e r
m ad
e ev
ery e ffo
rt to
h a v e
us learn
b allet,
tak e
p ian
o ]csso
n s,
jo in
th e
ch o irs
th a t
o u r
sch o o l
fo rm
ed ,
an d
d ress
in th
e b est
rep resen
tatio n s
o f
B ritish
fash io
n th
a t
sh e
co u ld
affo rd
. M
y g ra
n d m
o th
e r
w as
an e x
cellen t
seam stress,
arid a
co -co
n sp
irato r
in th
is u p w
ard p u sh
, so
th e
b u rd
en w
as n o t
e n tire
ly on
m y
m o th
er. T
h ro
u g h
m y
rrio th
er’s an
d g ran
d m
o th
er’s tu
te la
g e
I w
as on
a jo
u rn
ey to
b eco
m in
g th
e “g
o o d
g irl”
acco rd
in g
to th
e co
lo n izer’s
b elief
sy stem
. T
h e
m o re
I su
cceed ed
in th
is ro
le, th
e m
o re
l felt
se g rc
g tc
d fro
m m
y C
( r s l
u sed
th e
Q u een
s F
n g h sh
1 0
p leise
m y
i n o t l r i l
m y
teach ers
an d
m y
frien d s
u sed
T rin
id a d ia
n to
ex p ress
th eir
in n erm
o st
th o u g h ts
an d
d esires.
W e
liv ed
in tw
o d tffr.ren
t co
u n tries,
sep arated
b y
o u r
am b itio
n s
fo r
o u r
liv es.
T h ey
w ere
“o v u h
d y u h ,”
an d
I w
as “o
v er
th e re
.” I
w as
d riv
en to
p lease,
esp ecially
after m
y m
o th
e r
d ied
an d
I w
as le
ft w
ith m
y g ra
n d
m o th
er’s ev
en m
o re
restricted trah
ic sy
stem .
M y
d esire
to fit
in so
that: I
w o u ld
h av
e a
h o m
e to
co m
e to
after sch
o o l,
or b a lle
t lesso
n s,
or a
g am
e o f
crick et
in th
e street,
d id
n o t
fig u re
in to
th e
w o rld
of m
y classrriates
o r
n eig
h b o rs.
‘LVC stru
g g led
to ach
iev e
d iffe
re n t
tn a ls
for sep
arate reaso
n s
an d
th tis,
I w
as le
ft d efen
seless ag
ain st
u citsatio
rts o f
try in
g to
sound “w
h ite.”
\lv T
n-other an
d sister
ran in
to p eer
p ressu
re an
d g av
e in
to it.
b o th
ered to
p erfect
th e
to n es
an d
d ictio
n o f
th e
ru lin
g
class. In
fact, th
ey sp
e n t
th e
b e tte
r part.
o f
th e ir
ad o lescen
ce co
o i
sp irin
g to
p u ll
d o w
n ev
ery v e s tig
e o f
B ritish
tlo rn
in atio
n in
th e ir
liv es.
T h e y
jo in
ed th
e n atio
n al
strid en
t m
o v em
en t,
an d
m a rc
h e d
in th
e stre
e t
carry in
g p lacard
s th
at, p ro
tested th
e b lack
g o v ern
m en
t’s in
v o lv
e m
e n t
in o p p ressin
g th
e ir
p eo
p le.
l’h e y
p ain
ted slo
g an
s on
w alls
criticizin g
th e
c o n tin
u a tio
n o f
B ritish
ty ra
n n y
in th
e ed
tica -
tio n
p ro
g ram
s. T
h e y
w ere
b o th
fo rced
o u t
o f
h ig
h sch
o o l
b efo
re th
ey co
m p leted
th e ir
eflu catio
n .
M y
sister w
e n t
to secretarial
sc h o o l
an d
m y
b ro
th e r
w ent:
to w
o rk
as a
c o u n te
r clerk
at: th
e n a tio
n a l
airlin e’s
m ain
o ffice.
1 w
e n t
to o n e
o f
th e
p restig
e sch
o o ls
that. w
as ru
n by
n u n s.
T h e ir
claim to
fam e
w a s
th e
lev el
o t
acad em
ic p e rfo
rm a n c e
th at.
th ey
m an
ag ed
to c u ltiv
a te
in th
e all—
fem ale
p tp
u lat.io
n .
W e
w e r e
all ex
p ected
to b e
b rig
h t,
an d
sp eak
“ rig
h t.”
N o
in in
id a d ia
rt in
th e
sch o o l
ro o m
s. T
o sp
eak I?nghisli,
o n e
h ad
to p ractice.
W e
w ere
g iv
en all
th e
la titu
d e
in th
e w
o rld
to su
sp en
d o u r
reality as
T rin
id ad
ian s,
th e
p ro
u d
su rv
iv o rs
o f
th re
e h u n d re
d y ears
o f
B ritish
, F
ren ch
, an
d S
p an
ish d o m
in a tio
n ,
an d
to perfect:
th e
o n e
la n g u a g e
sy stem
th a t
w e
sh o u ld
h av
e rip
p ed
fro m
o u r
th ro
a ts
a t
lie c u rlie
s t
ag e
p o ssib
le. in
stead ,
w e
m ad
e o u r
th ro
a ts
m o ist
an d
(on-i’d o u t
to n es
u p
an o ctav
e so
that. o u r
v o ices
m a tc
h e d
:1w d u a li
ty ol
lw few
e x p a tria
te s
w h o
h ad
su rv
iv ed
th e
iti(lep erid
cn cc
m o v e m
e n t
of th
e 1950s.
.1 th
in k
th at.
I su
rv iv
ed m
y h ig
h sch
o o l
y ears
by a s s u m
in g
th e
b est
m ask
ev er
fab ricated
: th
e m
ask o f
lan g u ag
e. I
in v e n te
d a
c h a ra
c te
r w
h o
w an
ted to
p lease
h er
teach ers
and h e r
deac] m
o th
e r.
I en
g ag
ed a
fo rm
o f
th in
k in
g th
a t
n e v e r
ap p eared
to q u estio
n a u th
o rity
an d
also n ev
er let
slip an
y k n o w
led g e
o f
an a lte
r n a titr
e
id en
tity . M
ro k
w as
to su
rv iv
e, an
d to
d o i t w
} e s a i J n e s s e
th a t
m illio
n s
o f
b lack
p eo
p le
h ad
d o n e
o v er
th e
cen tu
ries. Y
et I
w as
d e te
rm in
e d
to b e a t
th e
sy stem
tfiat h ad
b een
w o rk
in g
to e ra
d icat.e
all v estig
es o f
b lack
g en
iu s,
th ro
u g h
its a u to
c ra
tic ap
p ro
ach to
ed u catio
n .
W h e n
I w
as ch
o sen
to b e
th e
assistan t
1-lead G
irl, c)r
p refect,
a lo
w -lev
el re
p re
se n ta
tiv e
o f
th e
p rin
cip al’s
a u th
o rity
, I
created h isto
ry .
I h ad
b een
o fficially
ap p o in
ted to
th e
ro le
o f
“g o o d
g irl.”
B u t,
in stead
o f
fu lfillin
g th
e ro
le as
m y
m o th
e r
w o u ld
lo :i
1•a-t
T ii
i: S
K I
N T
II A
1 ‘A’
K S
P K
A K
J O
A N
N K
K I l . ( 0
1 1
R I ) f lV
’ [ ) Y
h o
p ed
, tu
e 1
1 e i.i
G irl
an d
I ch
o se
to w
ear o
u r
h air
n atu
ral, so
th a t
w e
resem b
led M
asal w
o m
en .
W e
b ro
u g
h t
o u
r A
tro cen
tric id
en tity
to th
e a I .te
n tio
n o
f th
e sch
o o l,
an d
by so
d o in
g ,
en co
u rag
ed o th
er stu
d en
ts to
feel free
to ex
p ress
th eir
‘F rin
iclad ian
a ttitu
d e
to w
ard th
eir ed
u catio
n .
W e
did n o t
p riv
ileg e
lig h
t sk
in s,
as w
as th
e cu
sto m
am o
n g
prefec:ts b efo
re us.
V V
e w
ere o u tsp
o k -m
ab o
u t
o u
r co
n cern
for th
e stu
d e n
t p
o p
u latio
n th
a t
had p
rev io
u sly
b een
ig n o red
o r
d isen
fran ch
ised in
th e
sch o
o l
co m
m u in
ty .
O u
rs w
as a
n ew
k in
d o f
lead ers!
lip ,
and 1)1
r lc]lnw
S t
u le
ti is
s e m
i ed
to w
arm t.o
th e
chal—
leu u
e ti
t o t g i l i
a n
e w
itlm iut
ily o
lu tsu
tle of
tue co
lo tn
al m
o d els
th a t
w e
h ad
h e t’tt
g u v e t
I if)
It) t.l
at tint
ic .
‘ilie c o
n tin
e n
l.al sitlit
fro m
h n ro
p e
to A
.frica w
as e v id
e n t
iii O
U T
n e w
b lack
p rid
e. W
e coulnl
sw itch
F rom
.h n g lish
to T
rin id
a d ia
n as
fast as
ra d
a r
cotilct so
u n
d th
e o
cean d e p th
s. O
v u
h cly
u h
w as
flO W
p re
se n
t and
c e n te
r stag
e io
r o
u r
g e n e r a tio
n .
B y
th e
tim e
I g ra
d u a te
d fro
m h ig
h sc
h o o l—
ra th
e r,
secrn u d ary
sch o
o l,
to u
se o
u r
p referred
ia b c i—
l h ad
th e
p n v i
leg e
o f
c la
im in
g
to h
e a
m e m
b e r
o f
a te
le v isio
n p ro
d u c tio
n c o
m p
a n
y ,
B an
y an
T e le
v isio
n W
o rk
sh o
p .
V V
e w
ro te
sh o
rt sk
its ab
o u t
focal p e o p le
w h
o w
e r e
“co lo
rftiI” b ecau
se o
f 1 le
ir use
o f
th e
‘F rillid
ad Ian
lan g
u ag
e. In
o th
e r
w o
rd s,
y o u
co u
ld find
th ese
p eo
p le
a n y w
h e r e
w e
lo o
k ed
. T
h e
Few p eo
p le
w h o
s p o k e
B ritish
h n g h isft
w ere
in p o s itio
n s
o f
a u
th o
r ity
and th
ey unnc]e
a n
efT h rt,
tm )
im p
re s s
th e ir
p o
w er
on th
e p eo
p le
w h o
th ey
w e re
a d
d re
ssin g
.
T h is
o p p
o rtu
n ity
, to
w rit.e
an ti
act th
ese tam
nihiar c h a ra
c te
rs, g av
e
m ire
a n e w
te a se
o ti
life. ‘l’he
ch ain
s fell
fro m
aro u n d
m y
to n g u e,
an ti
m y
b rain
b eg
an to
feel as
ii it
w ere
o iled
arid m
o v in
g alo
n g
ih io
u t
h ic
c u p s.
I h
a d
b een
g raii
ted th
e su
p re
m e
o p p o rtu
n ity
o f
a n
a c to
r’s life
, m
y quest.
for leg
itim izatio
n W
IS a n
sw e re
d .
N o w
I
co u ld
he an
y n u m
b e r
of p
eo p
le fro
m m
n y ’en
v iro
n m
en t.
sim p ly
b y
u lia
u u
g in
g m
y p erso
n a.
h v en
m o re
ex citin
g th
a n
th a t
f r e e d
o m
w a s
th e
fa c t
th a t
1. w
o u ld
he sh
o w
n a p p re
c ia
tio n
fo r
m y
facility to
slip Itn
u u
l o n e
m a sk
to th
e o th
e r.
I c o u ld
tra v e l
u p
a n
d d o w
n th
e c o n
sh u
t., m
o v in
g fro
m C
a rib
b e a n
to E
n g
lish in
to n a tio
n s,
w ith
u n
to ,
b e in
g o
ffe n
d e d
. A
ll th
e sh
a d
e s
o f
m y
e x iste
n c e
c o
u ld
be called
in to
th e
p erfo
rm an
ce m
e d iu
m ,
an d
I, at
last, co
u ld
feel
in te
g ra
te d
.
T h
e a d
v e n t
o f
th e
telev isio
n w
o rk
sh o
p d
u rin
g m
y h
ig h
sch o o l
y ears
m e a n
t th
a t
I h ad
fot.m d
th e
real life
flesh to
p u
t on
th e
sh arp
-ed g ed
b o n es
o f
th e
sk eleto
n th
a t
w as
th e
E n g lish
lan g u ag
e.
N o
w m
y so
u l
co u ld
fin d
its w
ay th
ro u g h o u t
m y
b o d y ,
an d
I co
u ld
.
feel at
o n e
w ith
m y
in n
e r
reality .
N o
m o re
th e
h esitatio
n o f
tra n s
f la
tin g
T rin
id a d
ia n
to B
ritish id
io m
, n
o m
o re
th e
self-d o u b t
a sso
ciated w
ith b ein
g p erceiv
ed as
a seco
n d -lan
g u ag
e sp
eak er.
B u
t r to
w ,
) a t
last, Ih
a d
th e
d ig
y o
f sh
ap in
g m
y w
o rld
as I
saw it
an d
th e
ab ility
to n a m
e th
e w
o rld
in th
e w
ay th
a t
I ex
p erien
iced it.
I n o w
h ad
a ch
o ice
b etw
een th
e “ th
” s
an d
th e
“d e”s.
J h a t
creativ e
w o rk
in tt-ue
telev isio
n w
o rk
sh o
p m
a d
e m
y life
as
an acto
r v ery
d iffe
re n
t fro
m m
y life
o u
tsid e
o f
th e
th e a te
r. In
th e
“real w
o rld
” I
w as
fo rced
to ex
p erien
ce life
in tw
o lan
g u
ag es:
m y
in n
e r
la n
g u a g e
an d
th e
E n
g lish
th ro
u g h
w h ich
T rin
id ad
’s p
u b
lic
life w
as co
n d u cted
: th
e n
ew s,
th e
fo reig
n telev
isio n
p ro
g ram
s, arid
fo rm
al ed
u catio
n Ih
e co
lo n irer
s lan
g u ag
e tn
g lish
c o n tim
i( ci
to
set u
p a
fo rce
fIeld ag
ain st
w h ich
I h ad
to J o
b a ttle
fo r
m y
soitf.
A s
a resu
lt o
fm y
actin g
life, I
cam e
to u
n d
e rsta
n d
an d
he a h
le to
talk ab
o u t
th e
co n flict
th a t
I ex
p erien
ced w
h e n
I find
to c o m
m o n
n icate
in th
e larg
er w
o rld
. 1
H O
W saw
th a t
th e
lin g u istic
ten sio
n
th a t
I liv
ed e v e iy
d ay
w as
ti S
o F
a w
ar fo
r th
e m
i n t E
i
c o lo
n iz
e d .
I cam
e to
u n
d e rsta
n d
th a t
th e
co lo
n izer
o n
ly v
alu ed
th e
n ativ
e lan
g u ag
e o
f th
e co
lo n ized
in th
e r
m u
L e n
t ien
f. In
so d
o in
g ,
th e
co lo
n izer
w eig
h s
th e
w h o le
issu e
o f
th e
co lo
n ized
’s
lan g u ag
e, th
e h
isto ry
am id
th e
c o m
m u n ity
ex p erien
ce that:
it re
p
resen ts,
an ti
d ecid
es th
a t
th e
v alu
e is
n il.
‘l’he “su
ccessfu l”
co lo
n ized
p erso
n u n d e rsta
n d s,
w ith
th e
h elp
of
h er
fam ily
’s an
d h e r
co m
m u
n ity
’s ex
p erien
ce o f
co lo
n izatio
n ,
th a t
t ‘
th e
su rv
iv al
te c h n iq
u e
fo r
th e
s u h u
ated ro
n )
in v o lv
es d o u b le
realities’°S b e
m ust.
b e
in tw
o p laces
at th
e sam
e tim
e, o v u h
d y u
i
and h ere
to o ,
an d
n o t
g iv
e an
y in
d icatio
n th
a t
h er
a tte
n tio
n is
d iv
id ed
. S
h e
m u st
o p erate
fro m
b eh
in d
th e
m ask
o f
th e
“ w
h ite
”
f a n g u a g e .
H e r
lo t
is to
act as
a c h
a n
n e le
r o f
lan g u ag
es, a
in ert’
\
1 2
T J I I
S K
I N
T H
A T
W T
’ S
P E
A K
J O
A N
N E
E t L
O O
t i R
I ) O
W I 1
im ita
to r
o f
th e
so u n d s
an d
b elief
sy stem
s, n
o t
o n e
w h o
m ak
es sen
se
of’ th
e id
eas. T
h e
H ead
G irl
sh o u ld
n ev
er re
m e m
b e r
th e
M asai.
T h is
is th
e reality
th at
d iv
id es
h er
so u l
w h en
sh e
a tte
m p
ts to
slip
fro m
b eh
in d
h er
m ask
o f
“accep tab
le” w
h ite
lan g u ag
e and
b eg
in
to en
g ag
e a
co n
v ersatio
n rn
h er
o w
n to
n g
u e.
T h
e re
is m
e n
ta l
co n flict
ab o u t
th e
p rio
rity th
a t
sh o
u ld
-b e g
iv e n
in tfe
’m o th
e r
to n g u e
o v er
th e
m aster
d isco
u rse
Iii th
e p u b lic
life
th e
Iiie g iv
en to
th e
p atriarch
’s to
n g
u e,
th e
m aster
d isco
u rse,
alw ay
s su
p ersed
es i.h
at g iv
e n
t.o th
e m
a tria
rc h .
T h
e “lan
g u ag
e of’
in tim
acy ,”
as R
ich artl
B o d rig
u ez
calls it,
h as
no p lace
in th
e p u b lic
aren a.
in o th
er w
o rd
s, so
u l
an d
reality o ccu
p y
sep arate
lin g u istic
sp aces.
[‘h is
co n flict
d u
p licates
itself in
ev ery
asp ect
o f
life, w
h en
th e
co lo
n ized
tries to
rieg o flate
th e
tw o
w o rld
s o f
lan g u ag
e by
b u ild
in g
b rid
g es
fro m
o n e
sid e
t.o th
e o tlter.
A .t
a loss
fo r
w o
rd s
really d escrib
es tlie
feelin g
o f
th e
so u l
in th
e
“w h ite”
lan g u ag
e w
o rld
. T
h o
u g
h ts
co m
e in
to h e r
h ead
in h er
fa in
ily’s in
tim a te
v o cab
u lary
, arid
sh e
strain s
to tra
n sla
te th
o se
id eas
in to
th e
accep tab
le form
ex p ected
in p u b lic
co n v ersatio
n .
S h e
e x
p ects
th at
h er
u su
al facility
w ith
lan g u ag
e w
ill be
av ailab
le to
h er
w h
en sh
e b eg
in s
to sp
eak in
p u
b lic.
in stead
, th
e re
are co
ld ,
m etal
so u n d s
b o
u n
cin g
o ff
h er
te e th
, th
e act
o f
tran slatio
n co
o lin
g th
e
p assio
n o f
th e
th o u g h t.
W h ere
sh e
ex p ected
to create
an easy
access
to h
er listen
ers’ accep
tan ce,
site fin
d s
th a t
h e r
effo rts
create a
g lis
ten in
g w
all, icy
w ith
d an
g ero
u s
fo reig
n so
u n d s
an d
ech o es
o f
th e
u n
fa m
ilia r
to n es
o f
stran g
ers.
‘i’he co
n titm
al d isa
p p o in
tm e n t
w ith
th e
m aster
d isco
u rse
creates
a sh
ro u d
th a t
co v
ers ev
ery u tteran
ce w
ith a
d o u b t
ab o u t
its w
o r
th iriess.
T h e
v o ice
in h e r
h ead
d o es
n o t
m atch
th e
to n
e in
h er
throat,. S
h e
sees an
d h ears
h erself
b eco
m in
g a
tap e
played at
th e
w ro
n g
sp eed
. U
n less
sh e
can reco
n n
ect w
ith th
e sen
se o f
fa m
ilia rity
nI u sin
g lan
g u ag
e th
at sh
e g rew
u p
tak in
g fo
r g ran
ted ,
sh e
lo ses
ill ahulit.y
to in
te g
ra te
th e
d o
m in
a n
t id
io m
in to
h er
lan g u ag
e sy
s
1 11(1
site is
ren d
ered v o iceless.
o r
tIie co
lo n ized
sp eak
er, th
e issu
e is
n o
t really
ab o
u t
i i i
slw h as
a lan
g u ag
e o r
n o
t. T
h e
issu e
is ab
o u t
h a v
in g
ri it
liv o
p ractice
th a t
lan g u ag
e in
“ le
g itirn
a t&
’c m
.
m u n icatio
n s.
T h
e c e n
tra l
co n
cern is
a b
o u t
h av
In g
th e
freed o
iii In
go h ack
an d
fo rth
from th
e h o m
e la
n g
u a g e
to th
e p u b lic
lan g
u ag
i
w ith
o u t
fe e lin
g a
sen se
o f
in ferio
rity .
T h e
issu e
is ab
o u
t. le
ttin g
co lo
n ized
p eo
p le
c o
m m
u n ic
a te
in th
e ir
m a n y
sp h eres
o f
c o
m m
u
n icatio
n ,
an d
n o t
lim itin
g th
e m
to jazz,
reg g ae,
sam b a,
caly p so
, an
d
zo u
k .
L e t
th e
H ead
G irl
b e
a g o o d
M asai
an d
th e
c ric
k e te
r h
it th
e
b all
b ey
o n d
th e
b o
u n
d a ry
o v
u h
d y u h
.
T h e
w ar
w ill
b e
w o n
w h en
sh e
w h o
is th
e m
a rg
in a liz
e d
co m
es
to sp
eak m
o re
in h
e r
o w
n la
n g u a g
e ,
an d
p eo
p le
accep t
h e r
c o
rn
rn u n icatio
n as
v alid
an d
re p
re se
n ta
tiv e .
H e r
n eed
to c o
m m
u n ic
a te
,
fo rm
erly u n h
a p p y
fo ray
s in
to th
e u n fa
m ilia
r te
rrito ry
o f
a lte
rn a te
lan g u ag
e d isco
u rse,
w iil
b lo
sso m
in to
th e
flo w
ers th
a t
h ad
b een
d o rm
a n t
in th
e arid
lan d
o f
th e
d esert
o f
m a ste
r d isco
u rse.
T h
e
statu s
q u o
th a t
assu red
h e r
th a t
n o
o n e
w o
u ld
listen ,
o r
th a t
th e y
w o
u ld
co m
p lain
th a t
h e r
e n
u n c ia
tio n
w as
in c o
m p
re h e n
sib le
, w
ill
d isap
p ear
in an
o cean
o f
so u n
d .
In su
ch a
tim e,
m o th
e rs
w ill
rio lo
n g
e r
h av
e to
fo rce
th e ir
c h il
d ren
to act
lik e
stran g
ers am
o n
g th
e ir
eld ers.
T h
e y
w ill
h o ld
h an
d s
w ith
g e n
e ra
tio n
s an
d celeb
rate th
e c o
m m
u n
ity e x
p e rie
n c e
th a t
m ak
es la
n g u a g
e sen
sib le
to all
th o
se w
h o
are m
e m
b e rs
o f
th e
g ro
u p .
T h
e ir
c h
ild re
n w
ill jo
in them
in th
e ir
q u est
tf) p re
s e rv
e th
e
an cestral
to n es
an d
im ag
es th
a t
re p
re se
n t
c e n tu
rie s
o f
lo v e,
h o p
e
an d
su ccess.
T h
is is
w h
en w
e w
ill all
b e
ab le
to sp
eak “clearly
,”
n o
t ju
st e n
u n
c ia
te ,
an d
p u
t o u r
so u
l’s re
a lity
o u t
in th
e o p
en .
III
r ’ f -
1 tic
i )l
rL l.
E z
