English paper2

OVERALL FEEDBACK

Jonathan, overall, your Draft WA2 paper is an interesting start. Here are some suggestions to help you improve your paper before

you submit it for credit and grading:

A. BUSINESS TOPIC: The topic in this draft seems to address more of a broad, generalized issue (like a "theme" paper); it does

not really address a specific problem in a specific organization for a specific decision-maker, as required.

B. OVERALL STRUCTURE: Overall, your draft is generally organized with a framework of introduction, body, and conclusion.

You can add more unity with a clear, well-focused thesis in the first paragraph about a specific organization's problem or issue. A

good thesis is a stand-alone sentence, with a subject and a verb, that is a summary of the main point of your whole paper. You

can also structure your literature review better with three or so major themes (best shown by headings or sub-headings).

C. IDEA DEVELOPMENT: Your WA2 draft is built somewhat on a central idea, but does not fully group the articles into a

synthesis of themes (say, three major ones). The idea development tends to be very generalized and abstract, often without

enough specific details, hard facts, or concrete examples. Also, each research source needs to be evaluated critically to show why

it is useful and how its findings relate to those in other articles. Your draft has no explicit coverage of research obstacles you have

faced or how you plan to overcome them.

D. LINKAGE TO RESEARCH SOURCES: You needed seven or more sources of which four or more articles should qualify as

being academic-quality. You met this requirement. For your graded WA2, you'll want to be sure to insert full, correct APA

citations throughout the text for all sources in the References list. By fully integrating all research sources, you can be sure your

paper has good evidence to support your main points.

E. ENGLISH MECHANICS: This ungraded preview was not intended to fully "edit" your draft or make corrections in mechanics

(punctuation, spelling, capitalization, etc.). Your draft does have errors in English mechanics. Before submitting your WA2 paper

for grading, you'll want to proofread and spell-check to be sure everything is correct.

F. FORMAT: In your draft, you did apply correct APA document style (title page and running head). However, not all citations

in your References section were in full, correct APA format. [See my notes in the markup.]

[The running head—on the title page only—should begin with the words “Running Head,” followed by a colon, followed by a short version of the paper’s title.]

SUMMARY: Overall, you draft WA2 paper is a good start and, with greater specific focus, can be on the right track. The paper

presents subject-matter content that would normally be included in your final WA4 Business Action Report more than in a

critical review of research. A Research Sources Review usually covers more fully the actual research done to-date and evaluate

your findings from the research more critically.

FOR MORE HELP:

FORMAT

• APA Sample Paper (Purdue OWL): https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/560/18/.

• APA Formatting: The Basics (Purdue OWL): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdAfIqRt60c&feature=player_embedded.

EVALUATION

THESIS Enhancing workplace to suit both employee and employer objectives

• Tips and Examples for Writing Thesis Statements (Purdue OWL): https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/545/01/.

CITATIONS

• APA Style Formatting and Style Guide (Purdue OWL): https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/560/1/.