Persuasive Essay Rough Draft on Organ donation

1. Introduction

1. Hook: Imagine sitting at work one day laughing, smiling and interacting with your coworkers. All of a sudden you start to feel weak you pass out. You arrive to the doctor’s office and after several test it determined you needed a new kidney because they have failed. How would you feel? Would you want someone to be willing to give you one knowing that 2 is not a requirement to survive.

2. Position Statement: People should freely donate their organ to help save other people lives.

2. Body

1. First Point: There are more organs needed that donors available

1. States with the most needed organs as of 06/2019

2. Most used organs and needed for donations

2. Second Point: Why is it important to donate organs

1. Helping saving thousands of lives

2. Use old organs or dead organs for research after transplants

3. Third Point: After death organ donations

1. Organs are only viable for a certain amount of time after death.

2. How donating can help with the grieving process

4. Counter Perspective: Complications after donations

1. Giving an example of people that have no negative changes after donating.

3. Conclusion

Rephrased Thesis Statement: In conclusion, organ donation plays a major part in keeping society alive. Giving to others especially in a selfless act is amazing and important. I have provided the facts in the need of organs, why you should donate your organs, and how organ donation after death benefits others. I hope you decide to donate if the opportunity come across you. Even after death the organs are no good to you why not share them with the world and save a life.

Working Thesis statement

In this essay I will discuss how many organs are need vs donators, why you should donate your organs, and how organ donation after death benefits others.

Starting Draft

Imagine sitting at work one day laughing, smiling and interacting with your coworkers. All of a sudden you start to feel weak you pass out. You arrive to the doctor’s office and after several test it determined you needed a new kidney because they have failed. How would you feel? Would you want someone to be willing to give you one knowing that 2 is not a requirement to survive. People should donate organs because there are more organs needed than donors, you can help saves lives, and the benefits. There are many people in the world today in need of an organ. The United Network for Sharing (UNOS) provides the details on the number of organs need and the donations completed on the yearly basis. 58.9% of organ donations are Kidney transplants. Kidneys can fail for various reasons such as failure from diabetes and also hypertension known as high blood pressure. As of June 30th, 2019, there has been 9,396 donations however, there are still 113,379 in need of donations. Why not take the time to help save a life?

Feedback reflection

Feedback from writing activity 1

The feedback that I received was to learn how to use SAS documentation properly for my future papers. In addition to, feedback in my web text regarding my 3rd supporting point being too broad.

How feedback was used

I use this feedback to ensure that I submit my next paper the proper way. I would like to meet all requirements for an assignment to give myself the opportunity to receive the max grade possible. With the feedback related to my supporting points I took the time to realize I didn’t have enough information to be persuasive and capture my audience. I then decided to change my topic to something that I am more interested in learning and focused on persuading someone about.

How feedback will help with future writing

Feedback helps me in future writing by helping me learn and grow. It also helps me focus more on making sure any future persuasive essays are aligned. I can use all the information to help better the future submissions and not make the same mistakes or errors. The purpose is to get better and be more effective.