Revise for Latino immigrants outline and write a draft based on it

Outline 3 Feedback Key

Please review ALL of these points, not just the ones that I wrote on your rubrics.

A. Length/level of detail

B. LINKAGE from argument to main points.

· Make sure you address the “how” question – how does this evidence support your myth? You might opt to create a separate section for each evidence point called “How” to prompt you to include this part. You can literally say something like “This piece of evidence supports the myth because…”

C. Formatting/organizational Problems (need to be resolved before/during writing phase)–

1. Incorrect format: The worksheet I gave you is not an outline. You can use the worksheet to help you generate ideas, which should then be reformatted into a bullet-pointed word document outline.

2. Needs more hierarchical organization (groups ideas indicated by indentation)

· For example the points below this bullet point, but indented, are related ideas under THIS sentence’s main idea

· Example 1

· Example 2

· Example 3

D. Evidence

1. Specificity - You should note SPECIFIC evidence in your myth. Include detailed information, ie. “The first use of the term was in YYYY by XYZ person/group, for ABC purposes.” If you aren’t sure if you are doing this, ask yourself “How do we know this?” The answer to that question is your evidence.

2. Amount – You will need more evidence, perhaps from a wider variety of sources, in order to adequately prove your argument.

E. Topic-related

1. Too narrow

2. Too broad

3. Other

G. Fact check

· Something you’ve said isn’t quite accurate – perhaps due to your use of confusing, incorrect, or imprecise language.

H. Revise myth statement phrasing – specifically, if your myth is “All/most Latinos/Mexicans are undocumented/ “illegal” immigrants… Think about how to make this more interesting (you can easily answer this in a single sentence by saying x# of Latinos/Mexicans are citizens and x# are legal permanent residents” – expand the phrasing to go beyond a simple yes/no or numbers question/answer. Most of you who wrote a myth statement like this are actually answering a much bigger/more important/more interesting question with the main points and evidence you use. Make sure your evidence matches your argument/myth and topic sentences.

I. Make sure you make a CLEAR distinction between WHICH immigrants/immigration you are talking about, re: “illegal” immigration (which kind? Border-crossers vs. visa over-stayers), “legal” immigration, etc. Utilize the vocabulary lists from the IOM and Mr. Gump – provide clear definitions and be precise about which terms you are using, when, and why.

J. Organization – make sure you organize your argument by IDEA, not by SOURCE. Make sure that you have strong TOPIC SENTENCES that express the idea, which you then support with information/evidence from the source.

K. Cite and explain specific policies/historical events that shaped the dynamics you are discussing.

L. You may want to add in a discussion of how hard (sometimes impossible) it is for people to immigrate through “legal” avenues, or to “legalize” their status once here “illegally” ie. 3 yr, 10 yr, and permanent bans on legal immigration

M. Make sure that your topic sentences/main points actually match up with your evidence. Put another way, make sure that your evidence proves the topic sentence.

Whereas statistics and historical facts are often obviously useful, it’s not always immediately obvious how to use ethnographic sources in a paper like this. Below is an example of how to use data/evidence from ethnographic writing (ie. Gomberg-Muñoz in Labor and Legality and Becoming Legal chapters). This text is taken from something I wrote recently, - a review of a book written by anthropologist Theresa Mares.

“Mares shows how the program contributes to establishing farmworkers’ food sovereignty – not only by increasing access to healthy and culturally appropriate foods, but by providing a source of empowerment and pride, and by “bridging the barriers of social isolation” (p. 90-91) characteristic of Vermont’s dairy industry. Key to Mares’s understanding of food sovereignty is the issue of agency. She writes, “Huertas allows the possibility for farmworkers to cultivate food with deep cultural meaning, and to exercise agency and choice over what foods they consume” (p. 96). Mares uses ethnographic stories to demonstrate the impact of the Huertas program on participants: Comment by Cook, Jennifer: Here I used this phrase to link my explanation of her argument to her use of ethnographic data

“Whether it is fresh salsa or a bouquet of recently picked flowers, Alma’s produce brings her a firm sense of pride in her ability to create something from the ground where she resides. As this pride developed, Alma became increasingly active in local farmworker activism efforts and even taught cooking classes at a food cooperative in Burlington focusing on dishes from her home community. Despite the fact that these events required her to leave the home – which is a risky venture given where she lived – Alma’s relationships to the local community deepened. And yet, even with this personal growth, her autonomy and sense of place were rooted to land that she does not own, a connection that remained tenuous and seemingly impermanent.” (p. 104) Comment by Cook, Jennifer: Here, I quoted a bit of her ethnographic description to show how her data demonstrates her argument. (Of course, as we have discussed, you will not use such long quotes in your papers – you will paraphrase and choose short quotes that illustrate key points and use them sparingly.)

But the power of the border extends even to these spaces of relative agency, as farmworkers must establish their gardens on farm-owned land, in locations where they cannot be seen from the road in order to avoid state surveillance. Overall, Mares argues that the work farmworkers and Huertas volunteers do in their gardens cultivates a kind of mediated agency – not a food sovereignty revolution, but nevertheless food-based resilience with far-reaching impacts on farmworkers’ physical and psychosocial well-being.”

You might say something like “An ethnography by Gomberg-Munoz demonstrates the central role that social networks play in facilitating undocumented immigrants’ access to crucial resources and employment information. [insert quote or additional paraphrasing]”

OR

“Undocumented immigrants are often incentivized by their marginal position in the labor force to work even harder than native-born workers, as Gomberg-Munoz shows in her ethnography, Labor and Legality [insert quote or additional paraphrasing]”