The Opium war

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This is pretty rough. You do a pretty good job here on content, but you need to do a better job of using sources and organizing your paper. I really suggest outlining your paper prior to writing and drafting your thesis statement prior to writing the full paper. The thesis statement should form the main idea of your essay, which should be organized around "proving" this thesis. Please see the following guides (i also linked them in your feedback), or of course, you can visit the writing center.

http://www.studygs.net/fiveparag.htm

thesis http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/545/1/

introductions: http://writingcenter.unc.edu/resources/handouts-demos/writing-the-paper/introductions

argument http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/685/05/

analysis: http://www.reading.ac.uk/internal/studyadvice/Studyresources/Essays/sta-developessay.aspx

Please review, revise and resubmit for additional credit.

( 0.64 / 1.00) Introduction/ Thesis Statement

Below Expectations - Introduction and thesis statement are present, though incomplete. The direction and purpose of the paper is unclear.

( 0.80 / 1.25) Explains the Expansion of European Imperialism in Asia

Below Expectations - Attempts to explain the expansion of European Imperialism in Asia; however, does not include how this set the stage for the Opium Wars and significant errors in detail are present.

( 0.96 / 1.50) Evaluates the Origins of the Opium Wars From Both Chinese and British Viewpoints

Below Expectations - Attempts to evaluate the origins of the Opium War from both the Chinese and the British viewpoints; however, does not incorporate an argument of which country had a more valid claim, and the evaluation is significantly underdeveloped, unclear, and does not include any evidence.

( 1.05 / 1.50) Analyzes the Consequences of the Treaty of Nanjing

Basic - Partially analyzes the consequences of the Treaty of Nanjing. The analysis is underdeveloped.

( 1.05 / 1.50) Explains Some of the Lessons That Can be Learned From the Opium Wars

Basic - Provides a limited explanation of some of the lessons that can be learned from the Opium Wars. Relevant errors in detail are present.

( 0.57 / 0.75) Written Communication: Content Development

Basic - Uses appropriate and pertinent content but does not apply it toward discovering or developing ideas. Overall, content assists in shaping the written work.

( 0.20 / 0.50) Written Communication: Control of Syntax and Mechanics

Below Expectations - Fails to display basic comprehension of syntax or mechanics, such as spelling and grammar. Written work contains major errors which distract the reader.

( 0.38 / 0.50) Written Communication: APA Formatting

Basic - Exhibits limited knowledge of APA formatting throughout the paper. However, layout does not meet all APA requirements.

( 0.44 / 0.50) Written Communication: Page Requirement

Proficient - The length of the paper is nearly equivalent to the required number of correctly formatted pages.

( 0.76 / 1.00) Written Communication: Resource Requirement

Basic - Uses less than the required number of sources to support ideas. Some sources may not be scholarly. Most sources on the reference page are used within the body of the assignment. Citations may not be formatted correctly.

Overall Score: 6.85 / 10.00

Overall Grade: 6.85