Revise Writing Paper

MEMORANDUM

TO: Students PROFESSOR: James J. Owens SUBJECT: Numbers Corresponding to Memo Corrections

1. As: In writing, people often use “as” to mean “because.” Avoid “as” since it has multiple meanings and reduces clarity.

2. Awkward: The wording is awkward. Rewrite the phrase or sentence, so that it flows more smoothly, is clearer, or is expressed in plain English. Note that certain sentence constructions can be more problematic than others. For example, “have had” is extremely awkward. For the most part, you can stick to past, present or future

3. BLUF: Bottom Line Up Front. Within the introductory paragraph, you must clearly state the points to be covered.

4. Capitalization: Although capitalization might be stylistic in some cases, it usually serves specific functions and has specific rules. Please don’t randomly capitalize.

5. Clarity: Read this segment or sentence out loud and to others. Make sure your point is clear.

6. Colloquial Language: “Chillin’,” “dude,” and “blown away” might clearly illustrate points in spoken language but should not be used in business writing.

7. Concise: You may be rambling or losing focus. Read this segment or this sentence out loud. Can you express it in a more succinct fashion? Use active verbs and specific nouns to replace long phrases. For example, “stride” is better than “walks with long steps.” Also, try to split a long sentence into multiple sentences.

8. Conclusion: You have a weak or nonexistent conclusion. People usually remember FLEF (First, Last, Emotional, and Frequency). The conclusion, therefore, is an absolutely crucial element of any written document.

9. Dangling Modifier: A phrase should modify the word that comes directly before or after it.

10. Details: Specific details, such as numbers and names, often enrich the message you convey.

11. Em-Dash: Learn the difference between a hyphen, an en-dash, and an em-dash. Each has specific uses.

12. Grammar: Consider buying A Writer’s Reference by Diana Hacker. Grammaratical problems include run-ons, fragments and noun-verb agreement.

13. Headings: Headings written in two columns are much easier to read than staggered headings. Look at my memo headings above for an example.

14. Indenting: In business writing, you should left justify your paragraphs instead of indenting the first word of the first line. Then, double space between paragraphs to show breaks.

15. Introduction: Include an introductory paragraph to give the reader a preview of your key points.

16. Justification: Do not “full justify a memo” so that the right side is aligned. This creates awkward spacing and it is fatiguing on the readers’ eyes. Instead, left justify.

17. Memo Style: Find a template or copy the headings from this memo

18. Numbers: In general, spell out numbers less than 10 and use digits for numbers equal to or greater than 10.

19. Paragraph Length: This paragraph is too long for a business document. Review the norms for desirable length in business paragraphs. Edit or split the section into multiple paragraphs.

20. Parallel Structure: When possible, the text within your headings, subheadings, or bulleted lists should use the same word form or structure. Serial phrases within a sentence should also be written in parallel structure. For example, “I walked, rode my bike, and swam in the recent L.A. Triathlon.”

21. Passive: Avoid passive voice and passive verbs. Passive structure occurs when you start a sentence or phrase with the object, rather than with the subject. For example, “I was given the opportunity to speak in public,” rather than “my company gave me the opportunity to speak in public.” Active voice results in a strong verb, rather than a weak verb that uses “is” or “was.” In general, avoid passive voice, including “it is” and “there was.”

22. Preposition: Make sure you use the correct preposition. If you don’t know which preposition to use, look up the word in a dictionary that provides sample sentences. Also, when possible, avoid (or at least limit) ending a phrase or sentence with a preposition.

23. Possessive: Know how to punctuate a possessive and when to use the singular or plural form.

24. Proofreading: Do not trust spell-check. You may use the wrong word or be missing a word.

25. Punctuation: Check punctuation. In particular, commas have a variety of uses; therefore, they can be misused or omitted in a number of different ways. Always include commas when joining two independent phrases or when an introductory phrase is longer than three words.

26. Quotation Marks: Double and single quotation marks have specific uses in English. Although many people use them interchangeably, they are not interchangeable. In addition, you should not use quotation marks for emphasis.

27. Spacing: Double space between paragraphs.

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28. Subheadings: Include subheadings between key points to provide clarity and a visual presentation that allows easy skimming. Subheadings should be written in parallel structure. Preferably, bold the subheadings and add line spaces before them.

29. This: The word “this” should be used as an adjective, never as a pronoun. Therefore, always consider if you should include a noun after the word “this.” Doing so will minimize confusion. Example: “this memo.”

30. Title: Choose a title that reflects the main point you want to convey. For example, “Meeting” is not as clear as “Mandatory Meeting on 8/21/05 at 3:30 p.m.”

31. Topic: Is the topic appropriate for the target audience?

32. Transition: Awkward, incorrect or repetitive transition phrase

33. Where: When possible, use the word “where” to indicate a physical location (not a concept).

Final Note: T1 (Introduction), T2 (Body), T3 (Conclusion) refers to “tell me what you are going to tell me,” “tell me,” and “tell me what you told me.”

Other Edits:

AWK: Awkward

ROL : Read out Loud—most probably because the writing is awkward

POV: Point of View—whose point of view is this particular material coming from?

VA : Visual Appeal—usually written when you could format differently for greater visual appeal

Evaluations:

Remember that this baseline assignment is for credit and not for a grade. If you have completed the assignment, you have received full credit.

To assess your writing skills, I have used a scale of 1 to 4 in the following manner:

1 = Below Expectation 2 = Slightly Below Expectation 3 = At Expectation 4 = Above Expectation

I look forward to helping all of you improve your writing skills.

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